Fuck it. Food Headcanons from each Borderlands corporation
DAHL
- Dahl is all about Militaristic Seriousness to comical degrees, so it shouldn’t surprise you that most of what they have to offer is Rations. Canned food, nutrition packets and weird astronaut looking pastes, all packaged up in neat browns and greens to match with the very boring aesthetic of the Rest of their products. Everything is neatly separated and easily accessible in Dahl settlements. One bonus of it is that it never expires, so if you’re hungry and need a snack, just find an old military base and that should have you pretty much covered for a few weeks.
- “But Magnus, what’s in the packs?” I hear you ask, and not to worry my situational friend, I’ve done Way Too Much research on this and can absolutely tell you ! Again, its all very shelf stable and nutritional, so it ranges from cereal bars, dried up meats and nuts, protein powders and pastes (usually peanut butter), some mildly flavoured crackers, a variety of canned foods (including but not limited to: “Spaghetti”, “”“beans”“”, soups and veggies. These are meant to be complimentary, not really eaten on their own), and ready-made “pop it in a fire for a few seconds” sustenance providers like curries. It’s good enough to eat ! Hopefully.
- …It does Not. Taste like the best thing in the world usually. If you’re desperate enough you won’t notice it at first, but these things are meant for soldiers who haven’t dreamed of a non-dehydrated vegetable in 10 years, so it’s tough to swallow once you’re not suffering from all the malnutrition ailments. It’s very barely seasoned to account for the vast majority, and it’s probably not a good investment to waste spices on any of it either. You could still reasonably throw a meal together with the pastes plus the canned stuff and (if you get lucky) have a chocolate cake for dessert though, even if it does taste like a biting an old boot.
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i can attest as someone who has had to eat military rations before that dahl food would be beyondddd miserable.