To ruin/improve your day: even more old pictures of Rhys smuggling AI Jack out of Atlas in the form of an increasingly massive and assholish Handsome Ratch.
ALT
ALTALT
Smuggled Ratch Jack: Small; cuddly; easily concealed in carry-on luggage; snores cutely; kind of like a cat
Smuggled Ratch Jack + 6 months: Enormous; covered in horns; impossible to hide; snores like a giant ratch; kind of like having a huge ratch tread on your face every night at 3am while warming the nest to a cosy 40 degrees celcius; … also still kind of like a cat.
ALT
TFW you spent 40% of the R&D budget building a brand new Jack, and now Mr ‘put me in a ratch and I’ll use your intestines for dental floss’ won’t wear it, because no level of human Handsomeness can ever match the sheer body-confidence, contentment, and ability-to-eat-concrete of being a Massive Ratch.
Also when ratch who used to be alllll buddy buddy with Jack come round and echolocate Rhys and are all “scrrrrrrrrrsccrreeeeeeeshhhhhhhhkkrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” and you just don’t say shit like and get away with it.
But sometimes you just have to adapt to these things.
Glad everyone came out of this with no issues whatsoever.
i have concluded that tales from the borderlands, by amazing means of deduction, is the story of several hyperion infants dumped on pandora to look for their dads car keys