2015-08-05 9:13:44 ¶ ●

I’m now accepting applications for ‘Professional Foot Masseuse’.

To be clear– I’m not actually going to pay you in cash– your reward will be the privilege of being within 5 feet of me without getting tasered. Unless, y’know, you like, actually enjoy getting kicked in the teeth. Then I guess we can just call that a bonus.

2015-08-10 8:41:23 ¶ ●

tfw none of your girlfriends or boyfriends pay attention to you

2015-08-16 14:27:23 ¶ ●

why do i keep watching kitchen nightmares at four in the friggin’ morning when nothing is open

2015-08-23 0:13:13 ¶ ●

ofinsanidad

how do you feel about a pool boy position