Boredom was something the lawbringer often felt when she wasn’t shooting something or being shot at- though not that many days passed her by without her managing to cause some kind of trouble. Still, it’s the reason she finds herself traversing the rather unnecessarily complicated hallways of the yellow clad Helios. Now it was just a matter of finding that well dressed code monkey-
“Alright Jack. I got a proposition for you. If you can pry your handsome self away from that important work of yours, I’ll consider showing you the best place to get a good drink on Pandora. Or you know you can stay in your stuffy office while I make friends with Helios’ wiring system. …Hmm… what happens if I pull on this~?”
Jack spares her a look from under the fingers resting on his forehead as she enters his office, his smouldering cigarette hanging limply from his mouth. He’s spent the last three nights straight tinkering with some new prototype designs and his new security integration for the space station, and it’s been more than a little stressful. But once he gets it finished, there won’t be anything that happens within Helios’ walls that can be hidden from Angel’s, and subsequently his, eyes.
“Y’know, I’d really love to pumpkin but I uhh– woah hey!!” He yanks himself from his blueprints just in time to grip her wrist and keep her from messing up anything important in the exposed panel. Normally, he loves her destructive side, but it’s taken him a lot of sleepless nights to get that all working properly. He sighs, pushes the thick-rimmed glasses he uses for reading back up his long nose, and looks down at her. “Alright, fine. But only if you promise to get, absolutely friggin’ smashed with me.”
It takes him a moment to remember where he is, dizzy and disoriented and the rush of blood pounding in his head. There’s smoke hanging thick and heavy in the air between them, the darkness of the room makes the atmosphere feel downright poisonous and it sits in his lungs, coating his insides in it’s haze. He can hear muffled sounds, thumping and rhythmic like music, and he vaguely remembers putting it on– putting on a show. A show for himself.
“This– really isn’t in any way healthy, is it.” It’s a rhetorical question. His vision swims and the blood pours down his mask that much faster. The concept itself was unprecedented– traveling between universes had never been done before, not to his knowledge anyway. There was no telling what kind of side effects could result from prolonged exposure. But god, is it hard to stay away from that face.
It’s warm between his thighs and he leans harder into his other self, trying not to bleed all over the other man but getting a weird thrill out of it when he does anyway. One minute he’s gyrating to the beat, making himself feel special as they shared a cigarette, and the next he’s in his lap with a nosebleed. He can’t even remember what he was doing before he stepped through that tear. The more he tried to make sense of everything the more blood he spilled. “Mmm, some party, huh?”
tumblr it’s nice that you made it so text reblogs can’t change/delete the original text but could you also do that with photo post captions pls and thank
I’m now accepting applications for ‘Professional Foot Masseuse’.
To be clear– I’m not actually going to pay you in cash– your reward will be the privilege of being within 5 feet of me without getting tasered. Unless, y’know, you like, actually enjoy getting kicked in the teeth. Then I guess we can just call that a bonus.
i made an announcement on my twitter but i dont think i made one here so just fyi guys my mental health hasnt been the best the last few months and im working on getting to see a doctor about it but healthcare in florida is awful and im uninsured so rip me basically but yeah, i’ll be on the down low (like i have been for weeks, there’s a whooole bunch i want to do but i cant find the will to do anything just yet) until i can find some sort of solution so yeah!! i’m okay don’t worry but yeah eventually ill be able to drown you all in my ideas and au crap xoxo
It’s a good thing Vaas has already grown used to Jack invading
his personal space. It doesn’t bother him anymore, but there was a time
where it’d make him really uncomfortable and irritable.
It’s just part of Jack’s personality, it looks like. He can’t judge when
he tends to be the same around others, but only if he likes them. Otherwise, he tries to stay as far away as fucking possible. By this point, he enjoys having Jack close to him. It’s comforting and familiar and exciting.
Those are three of Vaas’ favorite things. Another one of his favorite
things? Relaxing with quite possibly his favorite fucking person.
There’s a lot of different forms of relaxing, of course, but this one
sticks closest to the true definition.
“Do
as the Romans do? Yeah, I agree.” He laughs, bringing his thumb up to
his mouth to chew on the skin while Jack works the joint. He eyes over
the other man with interest peaked high in his eyes, pleased with
himself to see Jack’s shoulder drop just a bit from the smoke. He can’t
fully relate to Jack’s job, but he can relate
to the ambition and stacks and stacks of paperwork. It’s a pain in the
ass to deal with, though Vaas enjoys paperwork. It helps keep his mind
off of everythingand instead focus on his cramping wrist.
and
now, he’s only focusing on Jack’s touch on the back of his neck and the
lips on his own. It takes him a bit off guard, sure, but not in a bad
way at all. He relaxes into the touch, resting his fingertips against
Jack’s shoulder and running them down the side of his arm, all the way
to his hip. It’s easy for Vaas to get quickly lost and absorbed in a
kiss, so it takes a lot of will-power to pull himself away from
those lips. He only pulls away once he’s taken up the smoke between
Jack’s lips, a flustered, stupidfucking
grin crawling over his lips. It’s pathetic how good something as simple
as a kiss can make him feel, but then again, it’s Jack.
He tilts his head down to rest a kiss on the sharpness of Jack’s jaw,
leaning back only to take another long hit of that joint. It doesn’t
have much of an effect on his body anymore, but it still makes his head
feel a bit cloudy, which is nice. “Man, you’re already getting high, aren’t you? That is really fuckingcute, Jack. But, good!! I want you to relax.” He really does, since for once, his voice is lower. A not-yelling Vaas is extremely rare. Appreciate it, handsome.
Jack leans his head back, arching his neck to give Vaas more room to work with and he stares up at the dark ceiling fan spinning away above them. He smirks after Vaas, bringing the joint back to his lips after the other man takes a hit. He chuckles around what’s left of it, a soft exhale that’s low and deep in his throat.
“Hmm– I can relax later. Right nooow,” He scoots in closer, practically in the other’s lap and devouring the pirate with a rake of his eyes, “I’m tryin’ to think of the fastest way to get you out of that shirt.” He drags a hand down the front of said garment, digging his nails in as he goes and curling around the hem of Vaas’ pants when it reaches the bottom. “’Cause as much as I love it, I think it’d look even betteron the floor.” He mumbles softly around the joint.
The room’s stuffy air gets warmer between them, and the combination makes Jack feel like dozing off, comfortable and warm against Vaas’ tanned skin as he slides in close enough to press against him, resting his arms on broad shoulders and planting another lazy kiss on his mouth. As tired as he is, it doesn’t stop his overactive libido from wanting to be all over this attractive and agreeable man who’s so eager to please him. And boy, does he appreciate it.
Hey–I never said I’d give you those. I had to /work/ for those. Why do you want pictures of Vaas sucking Mordecai’s dick anyway?
Blackmail material, obviously. Trust me, bird man’s not exactly my type. And Vaas is well… let’s just say some cropped versions might find their way onto myhard-drive.
Can’t wait to see that engorged ego of yours seepin’ out of bullet holes. Like thick syrup- mmm so sweet~ Oh look I’m getting myself all giddy thinking about it!
(Oh my god that wasone time--) Jeez, Mox, could you be any more thirsty. Good luck failing to kill me for a second time. Whaddya think, third time’s the charm? Cause baby, I’m only gonna need one.
M e o w! Where was this dare I say- moxie (I do) when I kicked that delicate little heart of yours to the curb~?
Why don’t you come and get me, handsome? I can always schedule in digging that grave of yours, right under getting my nails done. Unless you wanna do that for me too?~ Thought you always l o v e d picking out the shade, though I have to admit yellow looks a little garish even on me.
Dumping me and stabbing me in the back by blowing up my huge ass laser and trying to kill me, are two widely different things. Either way, you are severely missing out, cause I’ve never been better, honey.
Oh– I would, but you see, you ran off with your little coward buddies after they failed to finish the job. And you’re right, yellow is an ugly color on you. You know what would look amazing though? More red.
A hiss escapes her throat as she feels his fingers tighten around her wrist. It was almost instinctive to give him a hard knock to the jaw, but luckily from him she’s more distracted by those thick rims framing his face. It wasn’t everyday she witness the Hyperion in a rather casual state. She had to stifle a laugh as she watched him push up his glasses- truly fitting for the whole “nerd” shtick she was sure Jack was more accustomed to than he led on. .
Quickly a free hand rises up, claiming a defined jaw between her fingers as she presses just lightly enough to elicit some discomfort. “As long as you fix yourself up a bit. Not that I mind this new look of yours but how am I sposed to show you off round’ town if you look like you just woke up?” Her grip loosens, fingers tracing across his cheek and upwards to brush back a fallen piece of hair.
“By the time we’re through you’ll be face down in a skag hole-” Her fingers intertwine with thick brunette locks, gripping tightly before letting go as she matched with her wicked tone. “Now go put on somethin’ nice or else I’m gonna have to dress ya myself.”
Jack sticks his bottom lip out, pouting between her fingers. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with his appearance, he’s gone to corporate meetings looking more disheveled than this, but the idea of Nisha showing him off is too good for him to pass up. He smirks behind her unusually tender gesture before reaching up to take his glasses off and toss them haphazardly across his desk. “Right. Gotta be bright and shiny, huh? I mean, more than I usually am, obviously.” He grins down with all his teeth.
“…Skag hole? Is that a uh, euphemism? ‘Cause if it is, I’m thinkin’, maybe I should go grab a little more than a change of clothes.” He laughs to himself. The hair pull has him wincing, and he flicks the bottom of her mauve cowboy hat in retaliation before slipping out of her range to close his work for later. “I’ll head upstairs to clean up, aaaand–” He swivels back to face her, finger guns pointed in her direction. “You, can meet me in the Hub in ten.”
He slides in close until he’s mere inches away from the cowgirl, with bedroom eyes and coffee-heavy breath, inviting and mischievous. “Unless– you want to take all my clothes off yourself.”
Vaas didn’t initially mean to drag things these way, but it’s obvious neither one of them minds. It’s been a while since they’ve doing anything, considering how busy the both of them have been with work. There’s been communication through the echo communicators here and there, but besides that, they haven’t really seen each other until now. Vaas’s lips curl into a smirk, his cold metal fingers finding home on Jack’s hip, digits pressing into the skin underneath his clothing. He’s aggressive when he yanks him closer to him, nimbly unbuttoning the other’s pants and splaying his hand over Jack’s belly, curling his grip around his bare hip. He doesn’t waste time in grabbing Jack’s ass and yanking him straight into his lap, not bothered by the growing heat island. He lives on a fucking island, he’s used to it. The bandit takes what’s left of the joint from Jack’s lips, taking one last drag before crushing it in the nearby ashtray. He trails his fingertip over Jack’s lower lip, a low, pleased groan bubbling in his throat once Jack’s mouth is on his again. He returns the kiss with eagerness and hunger, somehow managing to slide off his muscle shirt between all that. His skin is heated and goosebumps crawl onto his arm, but now he works on removing Jack of his stupid fucking clothes, digging his canine into his lip harshly. He rolls his hips up, not bothering to hide his excitement at all.
Jack flinches when the cold digits meet his overheating skin, and makes a low surprised, but appreciative, noise at the other man’s initiative. He arches his back, pushing his hips forward and thanks whatever alien gods he can think of when he’s finally in Vaas’ lap. The thick air and smoke makes his breathing labored, and his blood is humming from the weed and the pirate’s rough handling.
A few more blurry, heated moments and there are teeth at his lips and he comes back to himself a little. Lost in his mouth and tan, sun-warmed skin that smells like salt and fruit and something dangerous, like gunpowder. There are hands under his clothes and he growls into Vaas’ mouth, reaching up to pull hard at his stupid little mohawk.
He pushes at the other’s chest in an attempt to knock him flat onto the bed and leans in close to sink his teeth into the flesh of his neck, feeling positively animal and grinding his hips down before sliding a hand down the front of the Vaas’ pants. Maybe it’s their constant quarreling– or maybe it’s just his pride getting in the way of letting a bandit so close– but he isn’t about to go down without a fight.
Briefly the phrase “you wish” flutters through her thoughts but her focus shifts as she feels the subtle movement of her hat. Did he just?And there he went just out of grasp. The gunslinger gives props to his gal but she’s in just the right mood to put him in his place. Still he returns to an arms reach (probably not the best desicion after being so cheeky) and amber eyes ignite with a trademark wickedness.
Touching the hat was a privilege, not a right and she was gonna teach him the laws set in place. Idle fingers lift upwards, feigning a small gesture to even out the shoulder of his shirt as he spoke. She takes a moment to pause after he’s done speaking before her eyes flicker to meet his gaze. In one quick second the gunslinger slams his back into the wall, pinning him there with her forearm against his chest.
A free hand slides down to her holster, unclipping the pistol with ease as she slowly drags the weapon up and presses it lightly against his jaw. “You’re walkin’ into dangerous territory, Hyperion boy” Her voice accentuates the nickname with syrupy malice, eyes narrowing slightly as her smirk matches the tone. Her knee rises to meet the center of his jeans, adding enough pressure so her control wasn’t to be questioned. Leaning closer she mutters just softly enough so he can hear her clearly. “Think you’re getting a little too big for your britches there, partner~”
He yelps as his back meets cold and unyielding metal, staring dumbly at the arm pinning him in place and forcing his lungs to work harder under it’s pressure for a few moments before his brain finally registers what’s going on.
“Uhh–heh–” He laughs nervously, tilting his head back as the muzzle of her pistol kisses his jawline. He shrugs as much as he can under her grip, a witty excuse on the tip of his tongue that quickly raises several octaves with the knee to his crotch.
Any normal person would take the gun to their face and risk of injury below the belt as a warning, but this is Handsome Jack, and there’s nothing Handsome Jack loves more than challenging authority. He’s the friggin’ boss, after all. “Yeah?” He breathes in a low whisper, “They are feeling kinda tight. Maybe I should, uh– y’know. Take ‘em off.” He slides his hips forward, subtly grinding the front of his jeans against the law-bringer’s leg. Whatever punishment Nisha decides to bestow on him for that little action, they are definitely going to be late.
name: Handsome Jack (yes, he did change it to that) alias ( nicknames + titles ): Mr. Jack, Jackie, Peaches, Babe, Brat, Boss, Sir, Handsome, Hero, John gender: male age: 37 date of birth: june 12 spoken languages: Universal Common (English), bits of French and Spanish romantic preference: wavy eeeh hands sexual preference: dark, violent and dominant; hats, himself, jack likes a challenge occupation: Hyperion CEO, Lead Engineer and Programmer criminal record: not that you’d ever find disorders: narcissistic personality disorder, hero complex, possibly bipolar, paranoia eye color: blue and green, heterochromia hair color: brown height: 5′7 scars: chart burns: couple cigarette burns from falling asleep with one between his fingers, laser burns from Lost Legion soldiers overweight: nah underweight: nahh, jack goes from being vaguely chiseled to dad-bod over the years color: hyperion yellow song: my current playlist food: loooves food, especially comfort food, but usually ends up eating whatever snack food he can fish from the vending machines drink: coffee (lots of milk and sugar) candy: all the candy, huuuge sweet tooth had sex: so much its like half his personality had sex in public: shhhhhhhh (don’t ask moxxi and nisha whatever you do) gotten pregnant: nope kissed a boy: more like biting kissed a girl: as many as possible gotten tattoos: wrist tattoo, secret matching geometric tat w/ the jackwife gotten piercings: ears, and one down south smoked / drank / done drugs: so many, most of which are dumb ideas that result in things like nasal frostbite had a broken heart: eeeh been in love: eeeeeeeeeh needed surgery: for his face (he tried really hard to fix it but it’s no normal burn), various stich jobs stayed up for more than 24 hours: many nights straight in front of a computer and doing paperwork a virgin: laugHS a cuddler: sooo physically affectionate (to make up for his lack of actual feelings) a kisser: smooches everybody he deems worthy scared easily: its more of a constant paranoia jealous easily: yesssss single: not if he can help it in a relationship: jack is usually poly, but he does play favorites considered mean: have you met jack harmed themselves: maybe thought of suicide: nah attempted suicide: he’s more the ‘take my frustrations out on other people’ kinda guy wanted to kill someone: on an hourly basis
the only real otp question that matter is which one has an oversized shirt with “SEX MACHINE” written on it in impact font and always wears it at the worst times possible
This is it. The battle to end all battles. And finally, he has the upper hand.
He moves swiftly through the corridors, stepping over the bodies that litter the floor with an ease that can only come with practice. He’s had this battle many times before— but this time, he was certain that he was going to win– for sure.
He readies his weapon, hands steady and breathing even as he turns a corner, quickly searching for any signs of life and then continuing on when he spots none. The enemy is around here somewhere; he can feel her watching him, and it makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. When a shiver crawls down his spine, it’s not just because of the air temperature of the space station.
He hears a noise kitty corner to his position, and he swivels around to confront it. There’s no sign of movement, not even a swaying leaf on the geometric bushes, but he doesn’t let his guard down for even a second. He knows he’s being hunted, and if he doesn’t kill first, he’s going to end up dead just like the rest.
He spends too long scanning– it was an obvious trap and he should have known better, but his hubris is always his downfall, and he tenses at the feel of something sharp pressed to the base of his skull.
Jack drops his hands in defeat, fingers unfolding from their gun position and cursing under his breath. “Alright– ya got me.”
