( oh for fuck’s FUCKING SAKE. if there was a camera here, vaas would be staring RIGHT into it. instead, he stares at the center of his current frustrations with a large, mopey frown. )
you already fucking know i use maliwan more than i use hyperion guns. and!! bandit!!! since, you know!!! i AM a bandit! anyway, you can cook for yourself. you pissed me off. congratulations, you piece of fuck. continue eating sauce for the rest of your fucking life, because you are getting NOTHING out of me.
(jack figures by now vaas would have caught on to the fact that he likes to piss him off just for the fun of it. push ‘em to the edge just to see if they’d push back. it was hilarious and, more often than not, led to really hot sex. both activities were currently tied for being his favorite past-time.)
sure, you’re bandit trash– but you’re my bandit trash. and maliwan? really?? you wound me. (he even puts a hand over his heart and everything, mock-hurt molding his brow)
i’m just kidding, babe. tell you what– you stop the moping and i’ll come visit you. i’ll bring uuuh, one of those little fruit baskets from eden-6. you like fruit right?? who doesn’t like fruit.