ofinsanidad:

Excuuuuuuuse me for not being a stereotypical pirate, dickwipe. What, you want me to go around saying arr, matey and wear a hook instead of a normal fucking hand? My bad, princess. I like using netflix because I’m lazy.
Also, you know, it’s technically not four AM. Time is a fucking social construct and doesn’t really exist in our single dimension, so realistically speaking, I have no idea what time it is, and neither do you. It’s fucking irrelevant, is my point! 

Hmm, I’m sensing a costume opportunity. I’m sure you’d look amazing in one of those frilly shirts. Maybe even an eye patch. 

It’s four am because I fucking say it is, honeybear. See, I need my freakin’ beauty sleep. Granted, some of us need a hell of a lot more than sleep–  but I digress. My point is, stop calling me about stupid shit in the dead hours of my space station, ok, pumpkin ? I’ll send you some DVDs or somethin’– how ‘bout that.