June 2015

ofinsanidad:

alright, listen. i get my cock is fantastic and humongous, but i’m genuinely trying to be fucking concerned for your FUCKING HEALTH. 

i don’t want you to hire me because than that means i have to follow a bullshit ass contract. i like doing shit at my own pace, thanks!! and thanks for ruining the mood!! AGAIN!!!

ruined!! i’d say i fucking enhanced it!! i mean you’re not exactly wine and roses, cupcake. not that i mind, i’m more of a bubble baths and rum guy, but anyway– you’re welcome

and i already said i wasn’t gonna hire you. also you haven’t even read one of my contracts!! i was even gonna throw in a sweet signing bonus i like to call the party in my pants but nu-uh, it’s off the table now, sweetheart, you can get your top grade weapons somewhere else, except you won’t, because ain’t nobodies guns as good as mine, nuuuu-uh