June 2015

Jack has a severe caffeine dependency. Pretty much an addiction, and can’t go even a day without his fix before he’s grouchy and head-achey and ready to kill the first person he sees. He becomes pretty much a useless, whining, homicidal mess (so, not far from the usual).

On the contrary, if he has had his caffeine for the day, he’s energetic, almost twitchy, bouncing around his office and has a subconscious refusal to even remotely sit still. With a constant supply, it takes quite a lot to burn him out and get him to sit down let alone sleep; very few are capable of keeping up with it.

Jack has a major sweet tooth. And salt tooth. His insane snack cravings switch between wanting sugar to wanting salty foods after he‘s sated the sugar one. Rinse and repeat. It’s not often he gets to eat a full, healthy meal (especially with Helios’ major fast food obsession, consisting of things like skag burgers, pizza, and hot dogs) but after becoming CEO Jack frequently has very needlessly expensive and exotic foodstuffs imported from other planets.

He absolutely hates cooking, despite being pretty good at it, he finds it boring and messy and something he just doesn’t have the time for (between running a company and pretending to run a company when really he’s just playing tetris or something), so he just hires people to do it for him. Or coerces them with batting eyelashes and sweet talk. He’s usually not a picky eater unless there’s something he’s really craving and then he’ll complain until he gets.  

Jack had severe kleptomania as a kid, and it’s something he never really grew out of. Nicking little shiny things, coins from distant planets, sparkly rocks, marbles, anything he thought he could get away with. He kept them all in a little box beneath his floor boards, hidden away where his grandmother wouldn’t find them. They never had any real sentimental value, but they made him feel like someone important. Someone who could afford to have a bunch of useless stuff just for the heck of it. 

He doesn’t do it as much nowadays, but he did have quite a relapse while he was dating Moxxi. He’d always play dumb whenever various bits of her costume jewelry went missing. (It was always the cheap plastic stuff; Moxxi always kept her real jewels hidden safely away. You could never be too careful on Pandora.) But when Jack’s feeling particularly antsy, he’ll swipe whatever he can get his hands on (a pack of gum, a rogue bullet from Nisha’s dresser, some sentimental trinket from the desk of an employee), even when he’s got enough money to buy a diamond pony. He never keeps any of it, but it scratches an itch somewhere in his conscious. Most of the time he doesn’t even notice he’s doing it.

I spent like 5 hours trying to get my game to work and as soon as it does a fucking spider crawls across my ceiling to ruin my goddamn day so yes I think Jack would absolutely be ridiculously scared of spiders like “whY ARE THEY SO TINY WTF I’D TAKE A BADASS VARKID OVER THIS” but i hunted that shit down like a true warrior also i am never going to sleep again rip