June 2015

tonight i am root beer flavored who wants to make out

sweet fucking god just cover me in sushi and soy sauce wait that’s a kinky thing right i’m pretty sure that’s a kinky thing i don’t care fucking feed it to me

blasts kanye and hits the fucking gym

who’s a guy gotta bribe to get some good company around here

raise your hand if you’ve actually made out with yourself. heh– god, i’m such a fucking rock star.

i like hats

“If there’s anything more important than my ego on this ship, I want it caught and shot right now.” 

helios’ hydroponics division is doing reeeally well lately, i stole like, an entire box full of cherries while the scientists weren’t looking. they’re kinda weird though. maaaybe i was actually in the genetic splicing lab instead of hydroponics ?? oh well who cares, they are mine now and they are friggin’ delicious

i’m pretty sure im trippin’ out on these but more importantly who wants to have a seed spitting contest

or, better yet: a contest to see who can do that cherry stem thingy with their tongue the fastest

is it hot in here or is it just me, oooHHHH