Jack coughs halfheartedly through a smirk, the pressure of her fingers burning hot on his throat. He’s lying on the floor underneath her weight, the dust kicked up from his earlier fall to the floor clinging heavily to his eyelashes and jacket. He’d be more upset about the mess, but there were far more important matters to attend to. Like the woman currently straddling his chest and cutting off his oxygen supply. He kinda needed that. For, y’know, living.
“Ha, actually I, ngh—” He shifts his head and feels her grip tighten minutely, “had extensive breathing plans. Especially the heavy kind. Maybe you could, ah, join me?” It’s a strain to talk, the last syllable reaching a higher octave then the suave one he was going for, but he manages. He would have gone for a wink to seal the deal but his vision is already starting to get fuzzy and he doesn’t want to chance closing his eyes right now.
Not that Nisha seems any more irritated than usual, but Jack can recognize the fire that’s burning behind that golden iris, and feels it mirrored in the base of his spine. There’s no escaping Nisha when she’s in one of those moods. Her grip doesn’t loosen. Jack decides he’ll take his chances.
He drums his fingers on the denim of her dusty jeans, his eyes hooding half from lack of oxygen (and half from being a plain ol’ smart-ass) as he looks up at her, smirk still plastered to his masked face, like a goddamned challenge. The sweat under his collar almost betrays his nonchalance. And even though he really isn’t in the position to be back-talking the woman who currently has her hands wrapped around his throat, it’s never stopped him before, so, whatever. He’s into it.
He raises an eyebrow. “Unless you’ve got something better to do, sweetheart.”
“Mmkay, so basically if YOU had to pick someone for New Voice Of Hyperion — who would it be? Because my money is on fishing Markiplier outta’ cryo.”
"Hmm, Marky-moo is always a good choice. What about that guy who did that thing, ah, what was it friggin’ called? Whatever, if all else fails we could always do it ourselves, I mean, who wouldn’t want my sexy somber tones caressing their ears 24/7? I know I would. And hey, we could even charge ‘em for it! I’m thinkin’ like, a hundred bucks a minute, at least.”
((played a bit of the pre-sequel last night with steakandrobots, pandorastruehero, and me playing the dopplegangers and lawbrought as ourlord and master Nisha<3
Normally when you stepped out of a quick travel on your own station the first thing you didn’t want to see were confused looks and several employees double taking. Triple taking, in fact. Jack was used to the fearful glances and people respectfully getting out of his way. Now they seemed to freeze up and when a pair of employees stay huddled in front of a door he was trying to pass through his temper started to show. “You want jobs tomorrow? Move.” The low tone promised more than just a pink slip and the engineers scuttled off.
Jack scoffed before he stuck a cut of liquorice between his teeth. He’d left for a few hours to visit Nisha and steal some of the black treat from import bay and everyone acted like he’d been gone for a century. “Can’t leave you people alone for five minutes—Jimmy is the board ready?” The CEO was chewing idly on his bitter treat as he flashed his ID chip for the access panel to open the door.
The response he received was hurried and reflected a hint of that confusion. “Sir the board has been ready, but the call has started—”
“Excuse me? They can’t just start without me I’m the boss.”
Though when the door opened to admit him Jack saw just what the problem might be. Another him…the flare of irritation flickered out as he bit through his liquorice. He probably should have been more confused by the sight of another Jack standing there in his board room like he owned the place. Not a double, he knew the doubles, and they couldn’t get in here without his credentials. All down the long table were the holograms of his heads of departments all projected as if they were seated in their own chairs.
“Okay—no. Meeting’s cancelled.” There was a red button on the wall next to the door that he took advantage of. When he pressed it the door slammed shut behind him and the feed from the board was cut off as the digital environment lifted. He wanted this to be private.
“So, door’s locked, the board’s probably going to be pissed. But who cares?” Jack grinned as he stepped up to the long table to stand opposite of this other self. He lifted the half eaten black candy in a toast. “Not sure how this happened, but with this kind of view how can I complain. Want some?” He was clutching another half dozen liquorice sticks in his other hand, wrapped oh so nicely and being offered. It was a lure of sorts…Jack wanted this other self closer without having to close that distance himself.
The day had started off well enough, the usual paperwork and then a full schedule of meetings, meeting, meetings to put the damper on his mood, but whatever, he could live with ‘em. Except maybe the one he was currently in, because he was really close to tearing out his own hair with how friggin’ boring it was. And that’d just be a tragedy for everyone; his hair was a gift to the goddamned universe.
Jack clicked the metal of his heel on the table, beyond bored of listening to the slew of old fart board members and their giant hologram heads try and talk down to him; like he wasn’t already a hundred steps ahead of them; like he wasn’t the goddamned savior of this sinking company, what with his brilliant plans for Pandora’s Eridium and all it’s magnificent applications. He was this close to running this entire damn operation; how could they not see that? If only they’d stop trying to hold him back.
He lifted his head up from where it’d been lolling off the back of his chair, groaning, and swung his legs back to the floor. If he was going to suffer death by dull board meeting he might as well do it like a man. He was just about to interrupt the Right Branch Head’s droning when his watch made a shrill and quick beeping sound. The room went quiet as he stared at device on his wrist, wondering what the hell could have possibly gone wrong on his station this time.
One of the board members cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence that’d fallen over the room. "Is something the matter, John?“ It sounded like Tassiter. He swore to god, if it was Tasstier–
Jack clenched his jaw. "How many times do I have to tell you it’s– y'know what, nevermind.” He rolled his eyes before standing, and ignored the little light that was trying to get his attention. For now.
He figured now was his chance, and before they could recover, he took the opportunity to showcase one of his latest weapon designs, a shotgun-laser that fired all the elemental damage types at once. Seriously though, how cool would that be? Sure, it’d be highly unstable, but still, hella cool. The collective bewildered looks on their pixelated faces would have been funny if he wasn’t already irritated beyond belief. It was just making it worse, really.
He wondered what level of Helios he could convert to a personal swimming pool without any of the board members noticing. It’d become his favorite pastime; seeing how much of the space station he could fuck around with under their big, fat noses. So far it’d been very lucrative for him. That whole black and red color scheme was super cliche, anyway.
His watch beeped again, and he was about ready to throw something out of a window. Whatever jackass employee was trying to contact him while he was in the middle of a very important meeting, despite his memos about how such an offense was punishable by death unless, like, the entire station was about to blow up or something stupid like that, was going to receive a personal visit from good ol’ uncle Jack. It was like he had to babysit every single one of his shithead underlings, constantly. It was annoying, even on a good day.
He listened to the squabble of floating Hyperion heads for a minute before walking back to the end of the table and sighing. God, he could really go for some chips right about now. Maybe popcorn. He took another big breath before diving back into the fray.
When the should be very locked blast door to the meeting room opened, cutting off his great pitch for weaponized threshers with laser beams attached to their heads, which first of all, was really rude, okay, you could say that at this point Jack was a wee bit miffed.
“OK, who the hell–”, He whipped around to face the entrance but stopped in his tracks when he saw himself standing there, like some sort of fun house mirror, but a helluv’ a lot more attractive. Okay that wasn’t weird or anything. Especially since DNA encoding made it so only he could get that door open while it was on 'busy’ protocol. Huh. Either this was a really wild dream, (and if that was the case it was missing an awful lot of half-naked super models), or that was him standing in the doorway looking angry. God, he was hot when he was angry. Was that a weird thing to think? Whatever. More important things to attend to. Like who, what, and why.
He watched the board members’ confused heads flicker out of existence as the other him slammed the shut down button, but he was too distracted by the situation to be even remotely mad about it. Good thing he already owned at least half the company, (which reminds him, he’s got a couple more visits to make). The sudden quiet was like a breath of fresh air, honestly. Now it was just him and, well, him. Whatever him was. Still, he was way too smart to take any chances, and he leaned against the table, his drumming fingers well within reach of the lucky pistol strapped to his thigh. Just in case.
“Certainly one hell of a pickle, huh?” He put on his best 'I’m a winner, and you’re not’ smile.
Jack’d have to tear R&D apart later, just in case this was their fault. If it was that weird ass Nagajika guy again he was going to spend the next twenty-four hours pulling out his eyeballs. And then maybe give him cool new robot ones, 'cause he was startin’ to get all kinds of fun ideas as he watched the other him walk closer. He could smell the liquorice before he figured out that that’s what was in his other’s hands. He idly wondered what it would taste like on his own tongue.
Hm. Might as well have a little fun, right? He totally deserved some.
He eyed the candy in his double’s hand before shrugging. “Don’t mind if I do.” Jack caught the wrist of the hand holding the treat and stole it from his grip with his teeth. He wasn’t about to back down from a challenge, least of all one from himself. He raised an eyebrow as he backed off to chew the thick candy, double-colored eyes never breaking contact with his mirrored set.
Yeah, that was definitely him. He’d had some pretty good fakes so far, but he’d know his own body anywhere. It was something he was intimately familiar with. God, he looked good. Especially this close up. How the hell did anyone not jump him every chance they got? It was a goddamned mystery.
But seriously, what was to be done about all this? Though it certainly beat a boring-ass board meeting, that’s for damn sure. And with company like this, who was he to complain?
"Are we gonna save a lot of people like you said, dad?"
“Of course we are, baby. Has daddy ever lied to you?
It’ll be just like the stories I tell you; I’ll be the dashing hero who saves the day, and you’ll be the beautiful princess who I’ll give the whole world to. And then we’ll all live happily ever after!“
9UN5L1n93R// Thing about purple, Jackie, is that it represents wisdom, nobility, and power. Yellow? It’s just the colour of cowards. ;)
HJack69< First of all it’s actually gold, and since you are obviously misinformed, let me teach you a little somethin’. Gold is the color of success, achievement and triumph, abundance and prosperity, luxury and quality, prestige and sophistication, value and
elegance… I could go on, but it’s obvious you’re trying to get under my skin; and honey, you’re going to have to try a lot harder than that.
Moxxi comes to you begging, on hands and knees and all that jazz, that you take her back, that she's sorry, whatever. What do you do?
“Tell her, sorry, honey! But the Jack Train has left the station. You missed your chance with this rich and handsome piece of ass, and now you gotta live with that decision.
One hell of a question though. She hasn’t, uhh.. been saying anything about me lately, has she?“
have you ever thought about getting a pet? like...i dunno maybe get a skag and throw it up in your office; no one would think twice about misbehaving. you could give it a good, scary name too. this whole thing is fool proof
“Ugh, no. Have you seen one of those things up close? No way I’m letting one of those scaly vomit factories anywhere near my pristine space station.
Now a stalker, that I could get behind. Heh, can you just imagine one of those things going invisible and jumping whoever in engineering is pissing me off the most that week? Hilarious.”
Old programmers never die .. they just lose their memory.
“Congrats, never in my life has a bucket of rust made me want to die more. Don’t get me wrong, many have come close, but you– you just take the entire damn cake, now don’t you.”
“Fight is… not exactly the word I’d use. ‘Fight‘ implies that you’d have even the slightest chance of winning. I’m thinkin’ more like, ‘tie you to a table and stick you with things until you squeal’, sort of words. Got any for me? Don’t try too hard and hurt that pretty little head of yours, kiddo.”
“You sound like you’re stalling. Are you too scared to face me”
“Huh. Well aren’t you cute.
I’m thinkin’ I outta bring other me in on this one. So, what’s your favorite, kid? Are you a blade or a saw kinda guy? Cause I’ve got all kinds of fun toys I’ve been meaning to break in.”
It was a quiet night up on Helios’ Hub of Heroism. Well, that is if you didn’t count the never ending chatter and clank of CL4P-TP units that sped through the halls. Or the loud thumping that got louder and louder the closer you got to Jack’s office. But other than that, quiet. The pounding shook the metal of the walls and made the holographic propaganda fizzle on beat in the bright lights. And if you could make it through the bright yellow doors, you could hear the rest of the electronic instruments that made up whatever song that’d been on repeat for the last hour.
Jack swung through the long hall to his main office room, taking the stairs two at a time and swaying his hips to the beat. He mumbled the lyrics under his breath and hummed along to the words he couldn’t bother remembering. He’d forgone his usual branded jacket for just the Hyperion yellow eyesore of a shirt, sleeves rolled up his forearms and collar riding low on his neck. A fine sheen of sweat has collected from his little workout around the office and he was really glad no one was around to see him when he missed a step and landed hard on his tail bone on the polished floor.
Okay, so maybe he’d had a little too much to drink, but who could blame him? Everything was coming up roses for him, and he had nowhere to go but up. An major company (almost) entirely under his control, a super hot girlfriend (and hoo boy did he really have a thing for cowboy hats now, among other things), and the location of one of those super awesome vault thingies. He laughed, a little breathless, and stretched to reach the super expensive bottle of liquor sitting on his desk. He jerked his limbs when the song picked up, taking a swing straight from the bottle and swishing the burning liquid around before letting it numb it’s way down his throat, wincing.
He gingerly picked himself up from the floor, bottle still in hand, his over dramatic groaning drowned out by the heart thumping-ly loud music still blaring on his main speakers. He righted himself before resuming his dance, careful not to spill any of his drink. Maybe he’d drunk dial Nish later. She’d love that. He counted his lucky stars that she couldn’t smack him from a million miles away. Well, at least he hoped she couldn’t. God, he really regretted sending her down to Pandora to kill a couple no-good evil-doers when she could be here celebrating with him.
He could feel the dizziness settle in his head and braced himself on the large window overlooking the nearby moon. At least the booze kept the headache he’d get from staring at it away. For now, anyway. He could still feel the itch under his mask.
Jack rested his head on the cool glass and thanked fuck that space was as cold as a witch’s tit; even if it was annoyingly sobering him up. He could feel his energy drain as his music died out, the constant vibrations from the last few hours having worn out his systems. He managed to make it to his chair and cap the bottle before slumping down in it heavily. He hung his head over the back and rubbed at his eyes. Party was over, time to turn in.
He made sure to grab his ECHO as he stumbled his way out. Nisha would still hit him for annoying her while she was on mission, but it’d be so worth it, if only for what her voice did for his libido. (And because he liked to check in on her when she was off doing dangerous stuff. Not that she couldn’t handle herself. He– shutup.) He smiled and so-did-not trip and fall again before closing up the doors, no-sir-ee. The lights dimmed, and all was quiet on Helios once again. (Except for the clap-traps, of course.)
i’ve mentioned a few times and also put on my rules page that my nsfw ( adult content, sex gore anything i feel is even remotely much for the dash ) is STAY GOLD FOR TS please blacklist that if you don’t want to see it!!
~HJack69~: someone needs to bring me at least eight pounds of sour punch straws before i start firing people ~HJack69~: and i dont mean terminating their employment ~HJack69~: i mean firing them out of a cannon and into the sun
