March 2015

jackofakind replied to your post:~HJack69~: someone needs to bring me at least…

realнero: bit of a heavy order there boss
realнero: what’s their time frame?

~HJack69~: uh,
~HJack69~: y’know, i’m gonna be honest with you kiddo
~HJack69~: i might have already started??
~HJack69~: and i also might have completely forgot about the candy after the first few idiots i sent to vacation on the sun
~HJack69~: so, uh, whoopsie

jackofakind:

realнero: boss that isn’t good for moral
realнero: didn’t you just cull the employees last week?
realнero: come ooon there’s got to be something more interesting to do

~HJack69~: you’re totally right
~HJack69~: you know what would be good for morale?
~HJack69~: 8lbs of sour candy
~HJack69~: get to work, cupcake, chop chop

jackofakind:

realнero: not your delivery boy
realнero: also I found a few claptraps still active
realнero: might have accidentally let them out
realнero: want to shoot them instead?

~HJack69~: you’re whatever i tell you you are, sweetpea
~HJack69~: i’m the boss, remember?
~HJack69~: …..
~HJack69~: hm, ive got a better idea
~HJack69~: get your hide up to my office
~HJack69~: immediately.

jackofakind:

realнero: uh
realнero: about that sir
realнero: …
realнero: i’ve got nothing gimme two minutes

~HJack69~: attaboy

Learning the Hard Way

jackofakind:

Tim was staring at his ECHO at the last message. Exhaustion was wearing on him, and he massaged at his temples as he tried to prepare himself to see Jack face to face. There were times of day he could handle his boss and this wasn’t one of them.

Normally the ride up the elevator and the walk down that long hallway was excruciating. Now? It was exasperating. Probably why he didn’t school himself with a casual grin and take extra precautions to make sure he looked perfect. The most the doppelgänger tended to was straightening his jacket, and he finger combed his hair as the door opened to admit him into the large office.

“Alright I’m here. What is it boss?”

Jack took in the exhausted appearance of his double for a few long, quiet moments. Just long enough to make the other squirm under his scrutiny as he tapped on the metal of his desk.

“Took you long enough.” He crunched a mint between his molars; it had been the closest thing he could find to kill the late night sugar cravings. God, he really hated mint. “What’s the matter Toto, you get lost down the yellow brick road?” He swung his legs from their perch on his desk and stood to walk over to the other man. He did it slowly and deliberately, like a predator closing in on it’s prey, his jaw still working at the cold burn sweet in his mouth. He looked at Tim’s empty hands with mild disapproval.

“What, no gifts for your favorite boss?” He crossed his arms and shook his head, letting it really sink in just how upset he was as he slowly circled the double. “I’m a little disappointed, kiddo.” No candy, and no paddle. Tsk, tsk. He circled until he stood directly in front of the other once more, and, for anyone who knew Handsome Jack, it was perhaps a little too close for comfort. Jack hummed as he reached out to restore some semblance to the collar of Tim’s rumpled Hyperion yellow shirt before running his hands down the material, smoothing it out until he reached Tim’s belt. He left his fingers gently hooked behind the leather of it.

He rolled his tongue between his teeth, sucking the last of the mint flavor from the bone. “I’m thinking you’re getting a little too big for your britches, there, cupcake.” He gave a gentle tug on the belt to emphasize his words. His smile was almost free of any cruel edge. Almost.

“You know what that means.” He breathed over the other, heavy and warm and smelling strongly of mint.

“Assume the position.”

ATTENTION! The rumors are true! i AM beautiful AND hilarious at the SAME TIME. yes it is a lot to take in take ur time my beauty is timeless

((just a reminder, don’t use my art anywhere guys, especially for your rp blogs.

Learning the Hard Way

jackofakind:

It didn’t take much to pin Tim in place. He could act tough and composed, but with the way Jack was looking at him his feet weighed down like lead and suddenly he was very interested in spot next to the big window behind the desk. He couldn’t look out the window—what was it with these corporate types and needing such high views? He felt like he would be sick just looking out at Pandora from this distance sometimes.

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Jack narrowed his eyes, his smile taking a hard and unpleasant edge as he stared his double down. He laughed with Tim, but it was as cold as the minty breath it rode on. He ran his tongue over his teeth, a twitch of his sneer shining through with the action and betraying his irritation at not being taken seriously. When he finally talked, his tone was clipped.

“Think I’m real funny, do you?” He tugged the doppelganger closer, to the point he was basically plastered against the other and Tim would have to bend back pretty far to get away from him. “Having a good laugh there, champ?” And really, as fun as watching a bunch of tin cans run into each other sounded, he could think of several different activities that would be way more fun right now. For him, anyway. He’d see just how hard his double was laughing after he’d beaten his ass black and blue. But hey, if the kid got off on corporal punishment, who has he to judge, right?

He started to fiddle with the buckle between his fingers, pleased when the other didn’t try to fight his grip. He’d need the belt for something fun he was planning later. “Y'know, the fact that none of my shithead employees can seem to follow simple instructions is uh, well, I’m gonna be honest kid, it’s a little upsetting .” He pulled the leather slowly free of it’s loops while he spoke, yanking hard on the last word. Any protests from Tim were ignored in favor of continuing his little lecture. “How am I going to run this company if none of my precious little cogs can spin smoothly, huh?”

Jack sighed dramatically as he rolled the now freed belt around his fist. He brought his other hand back up to the younger man’s collar, resting it there with a gentle touch, but just as threatening as a loaded gun. He let his eyes wander over the other, like he was looking at the inside of a machine that needed working on, trying to figure out just what the problem was. “Hmm. Maybe you just need a little… oiling up or something.”

He ducked his head to get a better look at Timmy’s face, his smile dripping with a condescending version of sympathy. “Now, are you going to be a good boy and go sit in the chair?” His fingers twitched against the double’s throat. “Or are we gonna have to play this the hard way?”

asthehero:

a long chat w/ wickedgunslinger​ brought this one into TRUE FRUITION !!! blows kiss e s
( thathandsomejack also inspired me, because i think we mindmelded in a past life  !1! )

yea sooooo, about that eridian artifact making contact w/ jack’s ENTIRE FACE yanno’ ………..

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/blasts trashy pop through every speaker on Helios because i’m the boss and i do what i want

Learning the Hard Way

jackofakind:

This time when terror settled in it stayed. Jack’s tone only grew darker and that cruel edge would have had him bleeding. His hand came away from the man as he was pulled closer and he dropped the lens on accident. It didn’t break—strong piece of tech, but when he glanced over he saw it rolling well out of reach. Not that he dared go after it; Jack had him trapped with that small touch on his belt and the sheer weight of his presence.

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Jack hummed and let him go, very pleased with his double’s compliance, feeding off of the others thinly veiled terror. The ducking away from him, following his orders to the letter, for once. It made him feel really fucking powerful and hell yeah, he could get used to this. He couldn’t keep the genuine smile off his masked face at how fun this all was. “You’re damn right I’m in charge.”

Tim didn’t take his boss’s chair and incur Jack’s wrath any further, good boy that he was today. Maybe Jack would have to… reward him afterward.  He strolled up behind the chair his double occupied, enjoying the way if made Tim’s hairs stand on end. He chased a hand through the others hair as well, almost petting him for a few moments.

“Re-lax, kiddo,” he tangled his fingers in the locks at the back of his head, tugging gently. “It’s your first time, well, with me, anyway, so I’ll go easy on you.” he waited until Tim relaxed, if only just a smidgen, and like a dam the gentle facade finally broke.  Jack yanked his head to the side, manhandling Tim into the position he’d need for this next part, until he was chest down over the seat with his arms and legs dangling off the sides. It was probably uncomfortable, hell it looked as much, but this was a punishment, after all. Jack dug a knee into the double’s back to keep him from squirming for any escape. He almost felt sorry for the kid. But not really.

Now for the fun part. He yanked Tim’s jeans down as hard as he dared, making sure not to tear anything; he had to make sure he looked good at all times and hobo pants just weren’t gonna cut it. “Nice shorts.” He eyed the black and red Hyperion issued boxers with  thin lipped irritation. He’d make sure the kid got some yellow branded ones in the mail ASAP. He wasn’t as gentle with getting those out of the way.  

“There we go.” Jack admired the view for a moment before unrolling the skin-warmed belt from around his knuckles, whistling an upbeat tune. He folded it in half just right, mindful of the hard metal buckle and making sure it was out of the way. Didn’t want to damage his double too badly, after all. He tested the leather with a scratch of a fingernail, looking down at Tim and letting him stew in the knowledge of what was coming and how much it was probably gonna hurt.

Then he brought it down hard and sudden on Tim’s bared ass, the swift crack making much more of a satisfying noise than he expected it too. Then again he’d never spanked anyone before. He was kinda diggin’ it though, all things considered. He left the action hanging in the air between them, waiting to see Tim’s reaction and admiring the large red welt that was already forming on pale skin. He’d really have to get this kid to a tanning salon.

mature-vaughntent:

jack has three modes of sexuality

1) hetero (femdom fuckboy sub)

2) jacksexual (jerks it in a mirror, is canonically gay for his body doubles)

3) “I’m gonna fuck that just to prove I can” (everyone not covered by previous two headings, i.e. Rhys)

~HJack69~: i think i’ve launched at least 80 of those little pink plastic lawn flamingos into space
~HJack69~: now they’re just sorta
~HJack69~: orbiting Helios…
~HJack69~: where the hell did we even get lawn flamingos

how mad would you all be if I put uptown funk on here

it’s such a jack song tho lets be honest HA