At this point Jack has more or less burned out, the alcohol having done it’s work and warmed his insides and has since then left, leaving him feeling dizzy and slightly cold. He’s slumped over his desk, head resting on his arm as he searches for coherent language.
“Mmmn—- Nish’ is– Nisha is, uh, nice. Well, y’know not nice, but uh– I like her. Like, a lot. Who-o-ole lot.” He trails off, clicking his tongue. “She’s fuckin’ amazing. I’d goddamned marry her if I hadn’t fuckin’– crashed that train straight into th’ ground already. Marriage is stupid anyway who wants to be tied down, amiright? Is’sa fuckin’ stupid–”
He runs a tired hand through his hair. “What ah– what th’fuck was I sayin’? Oh yeah– Nish’. I’ll say it right here, right now– goddamn love that woman, and I don’t care who knows it.“
~HJack69~: anybody know the fastest way to get rid of a caffeine hangover ~HJack69~: im pretty sure nisha has hidden everything on the station with even an ounce of it ~HJack69~: it’s like she’s out to GET me or smth ~HJack69~:im calling m u t i n y
wait till the panic attacks kick in thats always been my favorite part of caffiene withdrawl
~HJack69~: points!! at this!! ~HJack69~: all the more proof that my gf is evil ~HJack69~: and u guys should send me all your coffee ~HJack69~: chop chop i don’t have all day, kids
~HJack69~: yeah but harvesting them is such a pain in the ass ~HJack69~: oh yeah I can hire people to do frivolous bullshit for me now that I’m frickin’ rolling in cash ~HJack69~: thanks babe !
realнero: Nisha threatened me not to realнero: You said I had to take orders from her
~HJack69~: who is ur boss here, tim ~HJack69~: do it and i’ll uh, ~HJack69~: give u a raise ~HJack69~: or somethin’ i dunno just save me from this h e l l
realнero: I’d like to get paid in the first place realнero: fine realнero: she’s your girlfriend so you get to deal with her when she finds out
~HJack69~: yeah but guess what kiddo ~HJack69~: if she does find out somehow, just y’know ~HJack69~: any old way ~HJack69~: i’m gonna repeat any punishment i get on ur a s s
CodeMonkeyJ: That just seems like cruel and unusual punishment… CodeMonkeyJ: Then again, it’s Nisha CodeMonkeyJ: Drink lots of water? CodeMonkeyJ: Also- migraine meds usually have caffeine in them too
~HJack69~: at this point i’ve built up an immunity to any and all headache meds ~HJack69~: even the weird unconventional ones ~HJack69~: trust me i have tried some shit okay ~HJack69~: besides i need like, so much to fix this shit it’s not even funny
No good behavior huh. Tim let the man continue to whine as he strolled into the office like he owned the place. He’d brought two unopened sodas and they were still cold. His fingers were numb by the time he got to Jack’s desk with them, setting one down on the surface in front of the man. The other one? He pressed it against the side of his namesake’s neck. “How’s this boss?”
Jack barely even notices Tim entering his office, too preoccupied with his beast of a headache and his own loud, indignant whining. (He swears, they’re all out to get him–) His attention is turned to the soda being put on his desk and he scrambles to sit up in his chair only to jump and sink back down into it as the cold can is pressed to his neck. He makes a long, drawn out noise low in his throat, and it’s almost sinful how pleased he is. It even ebbs his headache a little. He closes his eyes and leans back into his double. “This is– this is…. yeah, good.”
9UN5L1n93R: Hahaaa 9UN5L1n93R: I was wondering what the screaming was about 9UN5L1n93R: I’m hungry. Hurry up
~HJack69~: omg hang on it’s hard to ECHOtext and carry plates at the same time ~HJack69~: also look how hard i worked u better kiss my boo-boos better for me
9UN5L1n93R: Oh yes, you’re an amazing lover. 9UN5L1n93R: I’m just so lucky 9UN5L1n93R: Whatever would I do without you? 9UN5L1n93R: Get in here before I gag myself
~HJack69~: i dunno that kinda sounds like fun ~HJack69~: but seriously keep talking ~HJack69~: i just love the way you stroke my ego
Well that made the whining stop. Flexing the fingers of his now free hand Timothy laid if over the other’s forehead. It was still cold, numb, so he might as well put it to good use. “Why are you warm?” The second can was set down and his other hand took over pressing his palm flat against the chilled spot. When it felt cold enough? He moved up to the back of the neck. “I mean warmer than usual. Are you sure this is just a headache?” Fuck if Jack was sick he didn’t want to catch it.
“Mmm-mf?” Jack had stopped paying attention like, eight minutes ago. Those chilled fingers felt way to damn good on his overheated skin. He wondered if Tim was secretly a friggin’ wizard or somethin’ cause– Oh right he was talking. “I’m always warm when I get headaches. I dunno, I think the weather control in here might be broken– or something. Whatever.” So long as Tim kept doing what he was doing he didn’t care about anything else.
> nah i claim timeline divergence > you can cook me bacon in cute aprons though
~HJack69~: old busted hotness wishes he could cook as good as me ~HJack69~: and hey this show ain’t free, baby, even for someone as prestigious as myself ~HJack69~: can’t say i’m not tempted tho
“You’d probably cool down easier if you took your mask off.” The doppelgänger grumbled. He wasn’t about to take it off himself to spread the chill, figuring he was already lucky enough to get away how he was manhandling his boss. He didn’t linger on the guy’s neck for too long though, carding his fingers through Jack’s hair from the back up to massage up his scalp. “Are you going to drink it or did I sneak it up here for nothing?”
Jack snaps out of his trance at the suggestion, eyes narrowing and teeth clicking together. He’s tense and quiet as Tim’s hands go from his neck to his hair. He has the sudden urge to lash out, to bite, to cause the other pain. He forgets all about the drinks, his headache– his irritation rides on the pain of it.
He goes for the other’s wrist, touch slow but unyielding as he brings Tim’s hand to his face and sinks his teeth in hard-- hard enough to draw blood. Talking about the mask was one thing, but suggesting he take it off? Let’s just say Jack has a few wounds that are still fresh. If it was any other time, he would have just brushed it off; but as it is he feels far too overheated, too moody, and its the perfect environment to let his rage simmer.
Please accept this sexy "Fuck the Cook" apron, with our condolences.
~HJack69~: u say that like i dont already own like, seven of them ~HJack69~: but thanks i appreciate the sentiment ~HJack69~: the sentiment being that i’m sexy of course
He should have picked up on the tension, but he was too busy trying to chase the headache away. If it was the source of this heat and the complaining then he just wanted to banish it.
When his hand was grabbed Tim still made a curious noise, about to ask what the other was up too–except then he was bitten and he yelled. “Ow! Jack stop!” It was a miracle he didn’t use his grip in the man’s hair to yank his head back in an attempt to free himself. Instead he leaned closer, teeth set against the pain. “Boss please. Why are you–please that hurts.”
Would the pleading help? Probably not. Timothy did steel himself for more pain, his mind racing to something as far as broken bones if the guy was in a bad enough mood. Perhaps this was just Jack’s way of making him suffer, and since he couldn’t inflict the same migraine he had to apply the agony somewhere else.
Jack releases him, licking the salt and blood from his lips. The fit of rage dissipates as quickly as it came, and it leaves him feeling even more drained than before, but weirdly sated. He slumps further in his chair, kicking his feet up onto the desk, and makes another annoyed sound. He keeps his grip on Tim’s wrist, reaching for the can on his desk with his other hand and popping the drink into Tim’s bleeding one.
“Mm- open that for me, would ya’, kiddo?“ Jack says casually– like he didn’t just almost take a chunk out of the double’s hand with his teeth, like none of it ever happened.
The pressure went away, but Timothy could still feel the sting of the open wound. It wasn’t bad, but even a paper-cut hurt. His small pull to get free proved useless, so his alternative? Give up. He stood behind Jack’s chair, leaning over the back as the guy sunk down and rested his chin on his head. It let him loop the other arm around and sigh in defeat as he popped the top of the can open. It was a miracle it didn’t fizz out over the top, but he thanked his stars it didn’t. He didn’t want soda all over that fresh bite.
“Is cupholder getting added into my contract now?” Tim mumbled. He watched quietly as he continued to bleed, shifting his hand so it would drip down onto Jack’s clothes. Whoops. Totally an accident as he offered the open soda. “What if that scars huh? We won’t match.”
Jack sighs heavily as the dizziness from lack of caffeine finally sets in. He hums, pleased, at the feel of Tim around him– a small bit of stability where we feels like he could slip out of his chair at any moment, head full of fuzz.
“It was already on there,” He crosses an ankle over the other on his desk, closing his eyes and breathing out with a whoosh. “You should really learn to read the fine print.” He takes a swig of the cool drink, moaning contentedly at his small victory. “And also the, y’know– fine fine print.”
He frowns and rolls his eyes at the new stain on his clothes. He’d gotten really good at getting blood out of them ever since he started dating Nisha, but he takes note of Tim’s little defiance. He shrugs it off for now, and pulls Tim’s hand back to his mouth, licking away at the mess to keep it from dripping on him. “Then I guess I’ll just have you bite me back, now won’t I?”
Always the fine print. Timothy was eyeing the remaining soda, but with one of his hands still held captive he wasn’t like he could snag it. Not that he’d get away with it. With Jack’s caffeine withdrawal still strong he suspected he’d lose a whole hand if he tried to so much as sip from that extra can.
“Yeah yeah, fine fine print.” It was satisfying to watch his blood mar the perfect outfit, but his fun was quickly squashed as his hand returned to that mouth. It wasn’t meant for pain this time, but his other hand jerked back to grip Jack’s shoulder as he stood up again, making a small noise in the back of his throat.
“Me bite you?” The doppelgänger asked nervously. He tried to chuckle, to distract himself from the fact that Jack was once again violating his hand. Maybe the key would be embracing his role, but the way his heart had jumped couldn’t just be willed away.
Still better than being bitten.
His head dropped and he grinned. “Pretty sure I don’t bite as hard as you. I leave marks, but I’ve never broken skin.”
Jack tilts his head back, looking up at his double. He hums thoughtfully, licking the copper taste from his teeth and washing it down with another swig of his drink. He thumbs at the condensation dripping from the can in silence for a few moments and wills his headache to go away faster. Although, Tim’s small but obvious panic at his ministrations has his smirking like a cat that got the freakin’ cream.
“I dunno, I’m sure you’ve got some bite to ya’. We just gotta–” He moves his grip to the meaty part of the double’s hand, spreading his fingers out with his own. “bring it outta’ you.” He slips the first finger of Tim’s hand into his mouth, teeth scraping the skin as he swirls his tongue around the nail. There may not have actually been any blood to clean on that particular spot of his hand, but Jack was content and suddenly in the mood to spoil the kid. His own little reward for being a good boy.
“You say that as though I don’t have enough on my plate already,” he retorts mildly. ( Wow, he was a cocky little bastard when he was younger. He’s so proud, look at him GRIN. )
Jack feels as though he’s got the better end of the deal, with the dare he’s been given. Though admittedly, watching his younger self have to get down on all fours and act like a dog before his own eyes was a goddamn PRIVILEGE. Don’t sulk about it, Young Jack; not only did he honestly enjoy the sight, the sulking makes him want to bite that pout right off your handsome face.
The gentle touches, hands roaming over him, the rough touches– Jack can’t hold back the sounds that slip from his throat, deep moans and content sighs. Nobody knows how to spoil him quite like himself, it seems. He’s basically putty in other Jack’s hands, ready to be molded into all kinds of new shapes.
Jack swallows hard as his neck is exposed, fingers digging into the arms of the chair as the other man drags his fingers down the column of his throat. A shiver runs down his spine at the quieting hushing, skin prickling and suddenly it’s way too hot in his own clothes. He tenses hard as he’s kept in place; a high moan escapes and he’s too far gone for words after being subjected to other Jack’s talented fingers. He inhales sharply at the kiss to his neck, and he’s fucking sold, no question about it.
He whines softy when other Jack pulls away from his him, lips tingling and trailing after him, body singing and wanting more, but lets himself fall lazily back into other Jack’s hands. He pouts and tries not to let just how much it’s all effecting him show. He crosses an ankle over his knee and drums his fingers on the arm of the chair, a picture of feigned nonchalance. He blows a stray bang out of his face. “Certainly can’t complain.” It’s no use– the fire had already been lit and now he’s burning up from the inside. He can barely think through the need for that Handsome body on his own.
"Are you even listening to me?"
"Are you even listening to yourself?"
"Are you sure they won’t find out?”
"Are you sure this is legal?”
"Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
"Are you threatening me?"
"Be mine."
"Can you be anymore obvious?"
"Do I know you?"
"Do you love me?"
"Do you remember this?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Don’t go."
"Don’t let me die"
"Don’t look at me like that."
"Don’t make me beg.”
"Don’t you dare come near me!"
"Don’t you dare."
"Explain yourself."
"For you, I would _____"
"Give it back."
"Give me another chance."
"Have you ever even done this before?"
"How drunk are you right now?"
"I already regret this."
"I am not wearing that.”
"I can’t believe you missed that."
"I can’t do this anymore."
"I can’t even look at you."
"I could kill you!"
"I dare you." or "I dare you to _____."
"I didn’t do it.""
"I didn’t know you could do that."
"I don’t want to look at you right now.”
"I guess this is goodbye.”
"I hate you."
"I have to go."
"I just want to cuddle."
"I know your secret.”
"I love you, but I really wish I didn’t.”
"I love you."
"I miss you so very much."
"I missed you."
"I need a drink."
"I need a hug."
"I never really loved you."
"I owe you."
"I think I broke it."
"I think I’m falling in love with you. "
"I think I’m forgetting something."
"I think it’s broken.”
"I trust you."
"I want to be yours."
"I want to try this thing I read in a book.”
"I want you. Naked. In my bed. Now."
"I’ll be there in five minutes.”
”This is really inappropriate.”
"I’m all for spicing thing’s up, but isn’t this a bit much?”
"I’m bad for you.”
"I’m dying."
"I’m going to be sick."
"I’m not speaking to you anymore."
"I’m pregnant and it’s yours."
"I’ve never heard that one before."
"If you stay quiet, no one will know.”
"Is that my shirt?"
"It was me"
"It’s so beautiful.”
"It’s time to choose.”
"Just five more minutes."
"Just go."
"Just leave me alone."
"Just let me die."
"Just relax."
"Just what did we do last night?"
"Kiss me you idiot."
"Kiss me."
"Like you even care."
"Little too late, don't you think?"
"Make me."
"Marry me?"
"My parents don’t know"
"My parents know.""
"Never again."
"Nh, don’t be so rough!"
"No! You can’t die on me now!"
"Obviously there is something between us."
"Of all the things I've heard, that hurt the most."
"Put it away.”
"Put your trousers on!"
"Put. The. Weapon. Down."
"Quiet, I am trying to think."
"Relax, I have a plan."
"Really?"
"Shut up and listen."
"Take responsibility."
"That isn’t mine."
"That looked easier on TV."
"That sounds painful."
"That was a bad plan."
"That’s mine!”
"That’s the cheesiest pickup line I’ve ever heard."
"They’re coming.”
"This seems familiar."
"This stays between us."
"Truth hurts, don’t it?"
"Unbelievable. I can't believe you right now."
"Very good, you had me fooled."
"Want to hear a secret?"
"We need to talk."
"We’re moving too fast.”
"Well that was unexpected."
"What are we doing here?"
"What are you afraid of?"
"What are you touching?"
"What are you?"
"What do you need?"
"What happened to you?"
"What have I done this time?"
"What if someone catches us?”
"What sort of noise was that?”
"What the hell do you think you’re doing?"
"What were you thinking?"
"Where are my clothes?"
"Where did you find this?"
"Where do you even find this sort of thing?”
"Where were you?"
"Who’d have guessed you could pull such a face?”
"Why are you wearing that?"
"Why yes, I am as think as you drunk I am."
"You could have died!”
"You could have killed someone!"
"You coward."
"You don’t need to be so gentle.”
"You drive me crazy!"
"You have ten minutes, so make it quick.”
"You lied to me!"
"You mean everything to me."
"You owe me."
"You’re all out of ____."
"You’re an idiot.”
"You’re bad for me.”
"You’re dead to me."
"You’re pregnant and it’s mine"
"You’re really good at this…”
"You’re so weird.""
"You’re under arrest."
Jack’s grin is nothing but teeth as he wiggles his fingers in his double’s direction, closing in on his prey. “Oh, c’mon, kiddo. C’mere for a sec– just a sec !!” Nisha had let it slip that little Timmy was ticklish, and Jack had a hankering to see just how hard he could make him squeal.
He lunges at Tim, who ducks away from him with a yelp. Jack flexes his jaw and grabs for the other’s collar but his double is quicker, staying just out of reach. “I’m not gonna hurt you, idiot– seriously, come here.” He motions both index fingers for Tim to get his ass over here already, slowly stalking towards him like he was some kind of wild animal. He’s a man who’s goddamned determined.
"I’m all for spicing thing’s up, but isn’t this a bit much?”
“Hey–! if I wanted your opinion in the kitchen, I’d friggin ask for it, capiche?” Jack waves his spatula at the other in an annoyed fashion, hand on cocked hips. He smooths out his ‘Fuck The Cook’ apron and sits heavily in the chair opposite other Jack, kicking up his feet to rest in the other’s lap. God he fucking hated cooking. Hell if he wasn’t good at it though, and he wasn’t about to let even himself say otherwise. He mentally ticks another thing of his ‘shit future Jack somehow convinces him to do‘ list– it was getting embarrassingly long. (His face heats up just thinking about it–) “If you don’t like my cooking, then stop killing all my goddamn cooks !!”
❝I’d rather be raised by skags than adopted by you.❞
“You’re really breakin’ my heart here, kid!! C’mon, I’ve got like, everything a little girl could ever ask for. Like, ponies and uh, princess castles. And—- pink things?” (It’s a good deal !!) “But if you’d still prefer the whole skag thing, well– I can also have that arranged.”
Let me just say, /big/ fan. Can I get your autograph? You can just like, write it in explosions on Pandora's surface. That way I can see if from /space/.
((OOC: Sooo are you planning on doing anything related to Tales from the Borderlands? Seeing real Jack harassing Rhys - and maybe Vaughn - would be hilarious! Either way, love your blog!))
((I actually have a super secret and extremely self indulgent AI Jack -slash- AU clone!Jack blog i use to terrorize pax’s Rhys with but it’s not finished yet shhh we’re workin on it shhhhh but you can have a little preview
A dumb little drabble to get back into the swing of writing
Jack/Nisha; cigarettes and smooches
God, it had been a long day. Especially if you were Hyperion CEO, Handsome Jack. Hours of meetings, meetings, a run through production design and then even more meetings. He never expected being CEO of a company would mean so much actual work. When would he get to the part with sitting by the pool, surrounded hot chicks and kicking back martinis? He whined softy to himself in the quiet darkness of his office.
Jack threw his file folders when he’d finally made it to his desk, not caring when some of them slid all the way to the floor in a mess of papers. He sighed and rolled his neck with a satisfying crack. He made his way to his plush office couch, flopping onto it before shifting to a more comfortable position. It was late on Helios station, and those of the inhabitants who didn’t work the graveyard shift were tucked nice and neat in their own beds, and unlikely to bother him anytime soon. He breathed deep the smoke between his fingers, letting it rush through his lungs and then back out again. The new-founded CEO rubbed at the bridge of his nose with a thumb, eyes closed and fingers poised around the end of his cigarette. He was too tired to even hear the doors to his office slide open.
“And here we see a code money in his natural habitat.”
Jack’s limbs jerked sharply,and he sat up in shock, cig hanging from his lip. He blinked rapidly at the sight of his girlfriend, fresh from mission, ascending the stairs to his level. He’d sent her out on a job not even twenty four hours ago, was she done with it already?
“Nish’? ” He pulled the cigarette from his mouth and pushed his glasses back up from where they’d slid down his face. “What are you, uh, doing here?”
“I didn’t know you smoked.” She brushed off his question in favor of jerking her head at the offending item. “Interesting.” When she finally reached the couch he could see the bloodstains still drying on her clothes, the sharpness to her wicked gaze, a predator’s look. Super fresh, then. He worked his jaw and looked at the smoking stick between his fingers before shrugging.
“Aren’t you supposed to be doing a job for me, pumpkin?”
“Did it.” She swung a leg over him, pushing him hard back down onto the couch as she straddled his hips. She ignored his affronted noise before a few more rough movements made him shut up entirely, jaw closing so fast she could hear his teeth click together . “And if you call me pumpkin again I’ll castrate you.” She grabbed the wrist of the hand holding the cigarette and brought the filter to her lips, still squeezed between his fingers, and took a long drag of it. She blew the smoke out with a sigh, right into her lover’s face. He watched with rapt attention, heart beating a little faster with all the hot and heavy tension between them. Mmm, he loved it when she talked dirty. He slipped his arm from her grip to take his own drag from the now purple lipstick stained filter, eyes never leaving hers. He could taste her on it, and it made a shiver run up his spine.
There was a smirk playing on her painted lips and she leaned down to kiss him, smoke swirling blown between them and Jack breathed it in eagerly, far too weak to her touch. She bit him and he moaned low in his throat, a not so gentle scrape of teeth against his bottom lip, hard enough that he’d feel it later. Another slide of tongue, a fist pulling at his shirt, at his neck, and Jack felt a little breathless, lungs tight and distracted from everything but the woman on top of him. He payed the price for it soon enough, breaking the kiss with a loud yelp when his cigarette burned his fingers with it’s embers. She sat back up, laughing at his pouting misfortune. He’d be more annoyed at her, but the exhausted haze had already washed over him, leaving a buzz in his veins and he reached to flick the remainder of his cigarette out on the floor before relaxing back to look up at Nisha. She was lucky he liked mean.
“So, how’d it go?”
“Good.” She purred at him, also affected by the haze. “Well– not good. It was too fast. Everything died too quickly.” She pulled a little harder on his collar, tone full of irritation. “You goin’ soft on me, Jackie?” That was the second mission he’d put her on that wasn’t even worth her time. Could it be he was actually worried about her getting hurt? The thought made her want to laugh. Either way, it was starting to get more than a little annoying. She came to Pandora for the challenge, not this weak, wooby shit.
He furrowed his brows, splitting a smile up at her like opening of a wound. “I’m never soft with you around.” He winked suggestively and she had the urge to smack him right in his stupid masked face. Instead Nisha just rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of his glasses between her fingers, slowly pulling them off his face before setting them to the side. She’d remember to tease him relentlessly for them later; at the moment she was too tired, and wanted nothing more than to rest in peace for a few hours, at the very least.
The law-bringer patted his side in a gesture to get him to scoot over. He complied, and they squeezed together on his tiny couch, legs propped up and tangled together, two pairs of boots dangling over the end. She tilted her hat back and propped her head on a hand, letting Jack wrap around her as per his usual, resting his head under her chin. He buried his face into the fabric of her shirt, sighing with sleepy content.
“You smell like Pandora.” He said. It’s muffled through her shirt and accompanied by a wrinkling of his nose against her collar bone. Like blood and dust and sunlight. And something else. Something that made him itch, somewhere deep in the back of his skull.
“And you smell like you’ve been in this office too long.” She retorted affectionately. Like code monkey. He laughed, pulling back enough to look up at her. He couldn’t really argue with her there.
She ran her fingers through his hair, and they both enjoyed the few moments of quiet warmth; it was quite a rarity for the both of them, violence being what they usually thrived on. He leaned in to kiss her caramel skin, just above the leather collar she wore and felt the petting fingers tighten their grip. He smiled slyly through his wince as she started pulling, his breath puffing hot. Jack let his tongue wander just under her chin, despite the subtle warning, let his teeth scrape gently and hummed when the burn on his scalp got hotter. Nisha tasted like salt and blood and, wow, they both really needed a bath, didn’t they. He pulled back to smirk up at her, hissing at the hand that wandered under his shirt to drag it’s nails sharply down his back.
The touches turned to the gentle side as he relaxed further into her, and he started to doze off as the warmth seeped into his bones. Nisha had been a welcome distraction to his day, but he didn’t have the energy to do anything now but end it. Too many hours clocked in. Too many days without proper rest.
She snorted softly in amusement, hand returning to his hair. She pet him until he fell asleep for the first time in what felt like weeks, and she felt herself following not far behind. She gave in to a lusty yawn, patting his unconscious cheek.
Jack grunts in agreement, head laying heavy on the table as he nurses one hell of a hangover. He’s ordered everyone else out of the lunchroom where they’d woken up from their drunken stupor, and it’s now blissfully quiet other than the low hum of various Hyperion machinery– he’s more than grateful for the silence.
“Technically– this is all your fault.” He cradles his head–(and where the hell had his pants gone, anyway?)–, whining long and low-pitched in his throat. He doesn’t get up from his slumped position; he doesn’t think he could even if he tried.
“If it wasn’t for you and your stupid lemons, we wouldn’t be in this mess.” His tone is full of bitterness as he swings a leg under the table in an effort to kick the enforcer sitting across from him. He gives up as soon as he realizes what a waste of energy it is. The other man’s already in just as a sorry state as he is, anyway.
Jack fights back another wave of nausea and rubs at his temples in an attempt to make the pain just go away already. Fuckin’ Tequila!! Never again, indeed.
“Okay– whoever sent me the friggin’ ‘sexy bunny’ costume gets first spot in the line to kiss my ass. I don’t even wanna look at the rest of what’s in the box.“
~HJack69~: this just in !! ~HJack69~: i’m holding a no-holds-barred, fight-to-the-death tournament to fill my assistant position ~HJack69~: as i seem to have uh ~HJack69~: misplaced my other one whoops ~HJack69~: just line up in the cafeteria and I’ll watch from up here
realнero: it’s hard to write a report when I am a planet away sir
~HJack69~: well whose fault is that ~HJack69~: oh wait yeah probably mine ~HJack69~: well hurry up and get your sweet ass back here !! ~HJack69~: i need you to make me coffee the interns keep making this black sludge it’s h o r r i b l e
