Dare.
thathandsomejack-blog-blog--blog:
Eat a lemon without flinching.
Jack stares at the offending fruit on his desk with a scowl. He wasn’t too big on fruit in the first place, but this— this was just madness.
“Where did you even—? You know what, nevermind.”He rolls it towards himself and picks it up, flicking out his favorite knife to cut away a chunk of the yellow skin. His favorite color too, how ironic. The acid in the air hits him before he can even get it to his mouth, burning his eyes with how strong it was. He really didn’t want to know how it’d feel on his chapped lips, (Nisha likes to bite, and so does he). Even with the mask on, he really doesn’t wanna do this.
“Okay, no.” He throws it somewhere behind his chair, enjoying the splat it makes on his planet-view windows. He’d get someone to clean it up later. “Not doin’ that. Is there like uh, a penalty game or something? That isn’t ridiculous or painful?“
“Okay.” He replied nonchalantly, seeming /way/ too prepared for that response.
“Eat it from the other end.” He replied, straight-faced as he reached for his drink, and briefly hid his smirk by downing it.
“I– Wh– I-I–…” Jack sputters in response. “Tell me you didn’t just tell me to shove a lemon up my ass,” he blinks, dumbfounded. “I’m gonna– Oh my god.” He can’t even come up with a good threat in response. A lemon!! Seriously!!
“Get outta my office!!” If he still had the stupid fruit in his hands he’d fucking chuck it at Wilhelm’s dumb head. He opts for a pad of sticky notes instead. Close enough, but god, he wishes he had something heavier.