~HJack69~: y’know,
~HJack69~: i know for a fact mox still misses me
~HJack69~: but her aim is getting better!!
~HJack69~: eeeeeeeYYYYYYY
~HJack69~: y’know,
~HJack69~: i know for a fact mox still misses me
~HJack69~: but her aim is getting better!!
~HJack69~: eeeeeeeYYYYYYY
~HJack69~: anybody know the fastest way to get rid of a caffeine hangover
~HJack69~: im pretty sure nisha has hidden everything on the station with even an ounce of it
~HJack69~: it’s like she’s out to GET me or smth
~HJack69~: im calling m u t i n y
~HJack69~: points!! at this!!
~HJack69~: all the more proof that my gf is evil
~HJack69~: and u guys should send me all your coffee
~HJack69~: chop chop i don’t have all day, kids
~HJack69~: what who the hell drinks friggin’ tea anymore tea is gross
~HJack69~:
~HJack69~: also can someone tell me who the hell this kid is
Drink Tears. It’s more cost effective.
~HJack69~: yeah but harvesting them is such a pain in the ass
~HJack69~: oh yeah I can hire people to do frivolous bullshit for me now that I’m frickin’ rolling in cash
~HJack69~: thanks babe !
realнero: why are you yelling
realнero: you have an intercom right there we talked about this
~HJack69~: but yelling at you is so much more fun
~HJack69~: also while you’re at it, uh
~HJack69~: bring me caffeine
~HJack69~: hmm
~HJack69~: noted
realнero: Nisha threatened me not to
realнero: You said I had to take orders from her
~HJack69~: who is ur boss here, tim
~HJack69~: do it and i’ll uh,
~HJack69~: give u a raise
~HJack69~: or somethin’ i dunno just save me from this h e l l
realнero: I’d like to get paid in the first place
realнero: fine
realнero: she’s your girlfriend so you get to deal with her when she finds out
~HJack69~: yeah but guess what kiddo
~HJack69~: if she does find out somehow, just y’know
~HJack69~: any old way
~HJack69~: i’m gonna repeat any punishment i get on ur a s s
repeatedly likes this
~HJack69~: u would
CodeMonkeyJ: That just seems like cruel and unusual punishment…
CodeMonkeyJ: Then again, it’s Nisha
CodeMonkeyJ: Drink lots of water?
CodeMonkeyJ: Also- migraine meds usually have caffeine in them too
~HJack69~: at this point i’ve built up an immunity to any and all headache meds
~HJack69~: even the weird unconventional ones
~HJack69~: trust me i have tried some shit okay
~HJack69~: besides i need like, so much to fix this shit it’s not even funny
> what it works
~HJack69~: well maybe u should come over and
~HJack69~: prove it to me
~HJack69~: w i n k s
realнero: yeah that’s some great incentive
realнero: not really
realнero: what happened to rewarding good behavior?
~HJack69~: i have yet to see any good behavior
~HJack69~: also all i wanted was a soda tim
~HJack69~: a soda !!
~HJack69~: more yelling about mutiny !!
> now that you mention it i also feel a headache coming on
> wow gee i better get that taken care of
> doctors orders
~HJack69~: i’ll
~HJack69~: light the candles
~HJack69~: f u c k
~HJack69~: remind me to never cook bacon in the nude
9UN5L1n93R: Hahaaa
9UN5L1n93R: I was wondering what the screaming was about
9UN5L1n93R: I’m hungry. Hurry up
~HJack69~: omg hang on it’s hard to ECHOtext and carry plates at the same time
~HJack69~: also look how hard i worked u better kiss my boo-boos better for me
> truly the hero we all deserve
~HJack69~: om g shutu p
~HJack69~: i’d like to see you do better
9UN5L1n93R: Oh yes, you’re an amazing lover.
9UN5L1n93R: I’m just so lucky
9UN5L1n93R: Whatever would I do without you?
9UN5L1n93R: Get in here before I gag myself
~HJack69~: i dunno that kinda sounds like fun
~HJack69~: but seriously keep talking
~HJack69~: i just love the way you stroke my ego
> nah i claim timeline divergence
> you can cook me bacon in cute aprons though
~HJack69~: old busted hotness wishes he could cook as good as me
~HJack69~: and hey this show ain’t free, baby, even for someone as prestigious as myself
~HJack69~: can’t say i’m not tempted tho
~HJack69~: u say that like i dont already own like, seven of them
~HJack69~: but thanks i appreciate the sentiment
~HJack69~: the sentiment being that i’m sexy of course
~HJack69~: where the fuck is my new assistant
~HJack69~: i need a goddamned back rub
~HJack69~: and a nap someone come do all my paperwork for me
~HJack69~: this just in !!
~HJack69~: i’m holding a no-holds-barred, fight-to-the-death tournament to fill my assistant position
~HJack69~: as i seem to have uh
~HJack69~: misplaced my other one whoops
~HJack69~: just line up in the cafeteria and I’ll watch from up here
realнero: it’s hard to write a report when I am a planet away sir
~HJack69~: well whose fault is that
~HJack69~: oh wait yeah probably mine
~HJack69~: well hurry up and get your sweet ass back here !!
~HJack69~: i need you to make me coffee the interns keep making this black sludge it’s h o r r i b l e
realнero: I left them instructions they should have been able to get that right
realнero: are you really going to die without coffee for a few hours?
~HJack69~: i might do !! what d’you know
~HJack69~: nevermind i found the booze stash
~HJack69~: goodbye timmy boy i knew thee well
“Hm– I dunno, you look kinda… bandit-y to me… You sure you’re not a bandit? Cause Hyperion policy– and by that I mean my policy– says to shoot you on sight– but of course, no bandit would be dumb enough to actually, echo me, right? That’d just be– friggin’ hilarious.”
“But uh, yeah, sure– why not, right?” Dramatic voice. ”Enter the Ring of Cafeteria Slaughter!”