
look at this damn fabulous set of fine bitches
i’m getting married to all of you no exceptions

look at this damn fabulous set of fine bitches
i’m getting married to all of you no exceptions
Do a bad impression of the person who asked you the dare.
Jack laughs and slaps his thigh.
“Oh, this’ll be good!”
He turns around and takes a dramatic breath, like an actor composing himself before a scene, and drags the steepled fingers of one hand down the air in front of himself in a zen-like fashion. He was most definitely going to get slapped for this, so why not make it count, right?
He turns again, glowering menacingly with a raised eyebrow and pretending to lift a cowboy hat out of his eyes with a finger. He can’t keep the grin off his masked face as he points his ‘guns’ around and ‘shoots’ the invisible bandits around him, making pew-pew noises as he does so. He does a full circle before blowing the ‘smoke’ from his finger pistols and makes like he’s spinning them around before miming them into holsters like an old-fashion movie cowboy.
He starts to wrap his arm in a bow—
“Oh, wait! I almost forgot.”
He winds it back and jerks it forward hard, imitating a whip crack sound and yelping, and then mimes something incorrigible with his fingers, making more juvenile screaming sounds and raspberries. When he’s done bouncing around like a child he rolls his hand and resumes his dip, thanking the non-existent crowd. There aren’t any roses, but the floor is probably going to have a lot of red on it in a second anyway. Worth it.
rxbxcxp said:
“He threatened my paycheck. Nothing personal but— Jack. /Jack./” You see him scrunching is face. “Jack… Jack. Jack.” His face looked uncomfortable at the last one.
wickedgunslinger said:
“Jackie, Jack, Jack~” Nisha drawled happily. Payback was a bitch.
“Jack? Who’s J A C K? Did you forget my name?? Tsk tsk! It’s Handsome Jack, baby! Looks like you missed out on your opportunity, there.” He blows a kiss at the screen. “Maybe next time!”
wickedgunslinger replied to your post:dare
“Pillow princess, can’t even see past that gut any more, can ya babe?”
“Oh my god, how very dare you!! Obviously you need to do your job better. Your job being keeping me in shape with various uh, bedroom exercises. So technically, any ‘gut’ I have, which I d o n ‘ t, is your fault, not mine!”
“Your name?” She spits, leaning forward as the mirth gets lost for a wild expression of carnal anger. “Is whatever I fucking say it is. Now start stripping— or I will take care of that on my own.” It’s a threat, a very real one.
A shiver runs cold-then-hot down his spine, and he instinctively backs up from the predator facing him. Should he poke the beast? He’s dug quite a grave for himself already. Goddamned if it wasn’t hot as hell though.
“I’m, uh, open to suggestions.”
He clenches his teeth to fight the cheeky smile that threatens to spring to his face at the command to strip. He just stands there silently, waiting and biting his lip. He’s morbidly curious to see what she’ll do if he disobeys her. He’s got a couple ideas, though. He mentally goes over his will.
“Uhhuh. Well love, I can string you up and fuck you all night long. Doesn’t matter if when you’re done you stuff your face with doughnuts and pretzels.” She remarked crudely. “Unless I start gagging you more often…”
“Well, maybe you should! I mean— wait, noooo, dooon’t dooo thaaat! Also it’s not my fault all the cooks here suck. I swear, it’s like nothing but junk food stuff! The workers are more efficient when they’re hopped up on sugar and caffeine, apparently. Whatever, I don’t hear anybody complainin’ but you.”

Pet the claptrap. Nice claptrap, good claptrap.

RIDE THE CLAPTRAP

jack u o k

jack pl s
((TONIGHT’S DAMAGE
Her teeth are bared and she’s leaning towards Jack like a wolf at the end of it’s tether. Like an ᴀɴɪᴍᴀʟ that’s about to gash it’s fangs and ʙɪᴛᴇ the hand that’s feeding it.
(Truth be told? There is only an illusion of a leash, and she’s holding herself back on the whim of tormenting him verbally. It’s so very ꜰᴜɴ.)
”—and do the ᴄᴏᴍᴩʟᴀɪɴᴛꜱ of anyone else matter?” Nisha ventures, those golden eyes dilating as they study him. Waiting and ready for him to say the ᴡʀᴏɴɢ thing.
Jack smirks at the display. He is so very tempted to be bad– to bare his neck for the alpha in front of him just to see if she’d bite. Nothing was more fun than Nisha when she was all riled up.
“No one matters as much as you do, babe.” His voice is sticky sweet and his smirk a poor portrayal of feigned innocence. He’s practically batting his eyelashes at her. It wasn’t a lie; he couldn’t care less about any of those poor suckers. As far as he was concerned, his girlfriend always came before they did.
✬ - For the muses reaction to yours coming into their bedroom late at night.
By the time Jack is hauling his arse away from his
late nightearly morning project? Nisha is long since dead to the world and sprawled out over his lavish bed like a Queen on their throne. The door to his en-suite is left wide open and her clothes are scattered about his tidy space carelessly. The ‘slinger is passed out on top of the sheets– and a stolen yellow shirt is doing very little to obscure the fact she’s wearing nothing else aside from her panties.It’s like she’s taken ownership of the space, his things– and him. A beautiful sight to be sure. The woman only shifts minutely at his entrance, a golden eye peaking out from behind dark hair lazily to regard him. Once she’s confirmed it’s him? She’s stretching with a low noise in the back of her throat and snuggling back into one of his pillows.
It isn’t often Jack actually makes it up to his own living quarters on Helios, especially after a long night of working. He usually just ends up slumped over his desk to regret it in the morning or– if he’s lucky– crashing on his office couch. The open door is a surprise, and it has his hackles tiredly raised until he sees the familiar articles of clothing leading to the even more familiar body laying dead weight on his bed.
He’s too drained to say anything witty or charming, though the thought does cross his mind. Instead he quietly shuffles over to the large piece of furniture and flops down face first, bouncing it’s current occupant gently. For a moment he doesn’t move, just enjoying the feeling and clean scent of his very expensive sheets after what feels like literally days of being behind a desk.
He reaches a limp arm out to blindly search for his girlfriend before he finally drops into unconsciousness. His hand finds her bared thigh, and he slides it up to wrap his arm around her waist, dragging himself closer to her warmth. Jack makes a content sound as he wraps his body around hers to the best of his ability, tucking his head under her chin and burying his masked face into the softness of her (stolen) shirt. He’s out like a light not even a minute later.
9UN5L1n93R: Hahaaa
9UN5L1n93R: I was wondering what the screaming was about
9UN5L1n93R: I’m hungry. Hurry up
~HJack69~: omg hang on it’s hard to ECHOtext and carry plates at the same time
~HJack69~: also look how hard i worked u better kiss my boo-boos better for me
9UN5L1n93R: Oh yes, you’re an amazing lover.
9UN5L1n93R: I’m just so lucky
9UN5L1n93R: Whatever would I do without you?
9UN5L1n93R: Get in here before I gag myself
~HJack69~: i dunno that kinda sounds like fun
~HJack69~: but seriously keep talking
~HJack69~: i just love the way you stroke my ego