jump to content
my subreddits

- home
- -popular
- -all
- -random
- -users

|

- Piracy
- -dndnext
- -DataHoarder
- -YouShouldKnow
- -LowSodiumCyberpunk
- -DMAcademy
- -rpg
- -Pathfinder2e
- -lifehacks
- -Pathfinder_RPG
- -Israel
- -ftm
- -exmuslim
- -DnDBehindTheScreen
- -Judaism
- -DnDHomebrew
- -DungeonsAndDragons
- -rpghorrorstories
- -revancedapp
- -Jewdank
- -cyberpunkred
- -DnD5e
- -d100
- -FtMPorn
- -GothStyle
- -TheTrove
- -magicbuilding
- -cyberDeck
- -GothFashion
- -Palestinian_Violence
- -ReasonableFantasy
- -NightCityFashion
- -PCAcademy
- -ISR
- -LGBTnews
- -ReformJews
- -dndcommissions
- -gayjews
- -Sneks
- -Transmascdicks
- -FTM_SELFIES
- -FantasyWorldbuilding
- -TumblrAcctTerminated
- -FTMHysto
- -ani_lgbtq
- -FTMminoxbeards
- -ALT_FTM
- -ftmwellness

edit »
Borderlands

- comments

sunrisewings (8)|messages 1|chat messages|

- preferences

|logout
this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2014
1,960 points (93% upvoted)
shortlink:
Submit a new post
Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit.

# Borderlands

join leave 342,371 readers

154 users here now Show my flair on this subreddit. It looks like:

sunrisewings(edit)

# Greetings, Traveler!

Welcome to Pandora, its scarred moon Elpis, and the Helios station. We are all things Borderlands, including all DLC, sequels, pre-sequels, re-pre-sequels, and Bunkers-and-Badasses campaigns.

Resources: Wikia | Gbx Forums archive | Lootlemon

Skill calculators: BL2 | TPS | BL3

Discord: BL | WL | unofficial Gbx

BL1: Gearcalc RIP

BL2: DLC Guide | TORGUE!

TPS: Complete map

BL3: Complete map | Damage formula

WL: Damage formula

Don't forget to check the FAQ

# Rules

Read the FAQ! It tells all. At the very least, browse our group policies.

The short form:

- Be excellent to each other.
- Be careful with spoilers.
- No begging.
- No commercialism.
- No drama.
- No piracy.

Spoiler Policy

Don't trade or beg here

# L4G?

When seeking co-op partners here, don't forget to mention your platform, PC, console, or whatever: you can add suitable Flair to your post title, or simply [Tag] if you'd like. Timezone (for schedule) and geographical location (for lag) can also be significant. Finally, where are you in the game itself?

Discordians should join one of the Verified Discord servers listed above.

Co-op matchmaking reddits: /r/coopplay

# SHiFT Codes

What's this all about?

How did this change in TPS?

Previous SHiFT codes: bl | bl2 | tps | bl3 | ttwl

# Partner reddits

/r/Borderlands2, /r/BorderlandsPreSequel, /r/Borderlands3, and /r/Wonderlands all allow link posts. Same subject matter as here, different (colorful!) style

/r/PandoranRedCross accepts powerleveling and duping requests, unlike us

/r/BorderlandsGuns for trading gear, as opposed to begging for it

created by azreal156 Minion, throw me a party!a community for 14 years

# MODERATORS

- message the mods
- AbsoluteTruth GET YOU ONE
- smoothmann PIS OFF
- AutoModerator
- 55tumbl
- CarlRJ
- about moderation team »

account activity

This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

1959
1960
1961

Hey, kiddos. Handsome Jack here -- AMA about how I'm better than you. (self.Borderlands)

submitted 9 years ago * by HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.

So, the suits at Hyperion have asked me to sit around and answer questions about, I dunno. Videogames. Memes. Whatever you people are interested in. Taylor Swift. Whatever works. But yeah, ask me whatever you want about life, or Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel, or hair care tips.

Verification: https://twitter.com/ECHOcasts/status/520258043380920321

EDIT:

Alright, I'm off to do any number of things that don't involve the canonicity of New-U stations. I hope some of you die horribly. I hope to make out with others. All in all, pretty good AMA. Keep those chins up, kiddos.

- 1453 comments
- share
- save
- hide
- report
- crosspost

top 500 comments
sorted by:
best

[–]jaseface1 318 points 319 points 320 points 9 years ago (21 children)

What's been your funniest kill?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 670 points 671 points 672 points 9 years ago (18 children)

First wife.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 781 points 782 points 783 points 9 years ago (16 children)

Oh, wait, you said "funniest." I thought you meant "tragic, violent, and accidental."

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 208 points 209 points 210 points 9 years ago (13 children)

But I thought Angel did it? Wait a minute...

Did you lie?

HEY EVERYBODY! HANDSOME JACK LIES TO PEOPLE ON OCCASION! DON'T ALWAYS TRUST WHAT HE SAYS!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Brraaap 41 points 42 points 43 points 9 years ago (3 children)

He said first wife. No one ever said Angel's mother was his first wife.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (2 children)

JACK'S ALT ACCOUNT FOUND

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Unijack.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]jamarcus92 TWO SOUNDS. ME PUNCHING YOU AND ME PUNCHING YOU AGAIN 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jackdawing.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AidenTheHuman 25 points 26 points 27 points 9 years ago (1 child)

He's a phoney!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Reamofqtips 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Look at this guy! He's a big fat phoney!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago* (5 children)

[deleted]

[–]TragedyInMotion 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (4 children)

So maybe I'm just cerebral, but is it within the realm of possibility that Angel's "chairing" didn't kill Jack's first wife, but scarred/uglified her? Doesn't he say something like, "... you didn't see what she did to her mother. I had to restrain Angel's power..."

It can be reasonable that Jack embodies the stereotypical narcissistic "I'm God" coder mentality and is extremely shallow. In this AMA, Jack has said that he killed is first wife, sarcastically implying it was an accident. Maybe the asshole just killed her because she was ugly. Blaming Angel for the guilt he feels, not understanding what the emotion is and never being able to process it.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]Evil4Zerggin 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (3 children)

That is the statement that contradicts causalty, yes. Again, my point is that Jack's wife's death must have happened after Angel's "chairing", and therefore cannot have caused it. Even if Angel did actually do something to her mother, whatever it was can't have been severe enough for her to agree with the chairing, as evidenced in Get to Know Jack.

While there is little hard evidence one way or another whether Angel actually did do something drastic to her mother, I would argue that Occam's razor points to Jack simply lying as the most likely explanation.

Beyond this, my personal pet theory (which I have no evidence for) is that Jack's motivation for chairing Angel had nothing to do with her Siren powers, but rather he wanted to be the sole object of worship (that God complex again) and was jealous of the attention his wife and daughter were giving each other instead of him.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (1 child)

In the first ECHO, Jack tells Angel as he's chairing her that "[Mommy]'s not coming back." Which suggests that she's already dead as of the chairing.

All that the third ECHO explicitly states is that Angel's mother knew that Angel was dangerous in some way. It doesn't say that Angel was chaired at the time that Angel's mother "suggested as much."

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Evil4Zerggin 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

Jack is a known liar (cf. Helena Pierce) and has incentive to lie in the first ECHO. Moorin has no incentive to lie in the third ECHO, since his statement is common knowledge between him and Jack, so lying would be futile. Neither does Jack contradict him.

And again, there would be nothing to shut down before the chairing. "Angel" is used to refer both to the person and the control core as a whole. In this case it's referring to the control core, since "shut down" is a phrase applied to devices, not people.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TragedyInMotion 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Damn. I like that idea too. And thanks for clearing that up. I think I get what you're saying now.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]maggosh 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Sorry, I had to shut off my complimentary blowjob machine, what're you on about?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Eruanno 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

STORY TIME

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Greyfox643 I need it dead in 1 shot or less 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

how are they not the same thing?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (0 children)

PLOT TWIST!!!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Loqol 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Gotta be the spoon. SPLOOP!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Or maybe we can get a teaser for a kill yet to occur.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]PolarSuccess 280 points 281 points 282 points 9 years ago (5 children)

My girlfriend is dressing up as you for Halloween. Should I be aroused?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 717 points 718 points 719 points 9 years ago (3 children)

If you're not, I'm certainly aroused enough for the both of us.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Rienuaa Jack fangirl at heart 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I'm going as you for Halloween too! I'm also a girl and... Shit, am I dating the guy who asked this question.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Gamerghost44 Operation: Shoot that chick in the head. 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If not, I'm available.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]PolarSuccess 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Don't make it weird, Jack. So where do you shop for bitchin' labcoat and blazer combos?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Stealth_Cow 17 points 18 points 19 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Only if she used the official Handsome Jack licensed, Hyperion made Handsome Jack Sexy Index: 10 Cosplay Costume and Prop Kit

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 270 points 271 points 272 points 9 years ago (17 children)

Have you and Mr Torgue ever gone golfing?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 639 points 640 points 641 points 9 years ago (4 children)

No, because I value my eardrums and he presumably values not being riddled with goddamn bullets.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TorgueFlexington 181 points 182 points 183 points 9 years ago (0 children)

F*CK YOUR DAMN EARDRUMS!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 35 points 36 points 37 points 9 years ago (1 child)

EXPLODING GOLFBALLS ҉

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Gamerghost44 Operation: Shoot that chick in the head. 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Actually this is a real prank.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 292 points 293 points 294 points 9 years ago (11 children)

They never got past the first hole, as Hyperion clubs take 3 swings to reach max accuracy and TORGUE CLUBS F*CKIN EXPLODE ҉

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Aethien 29 points 30 points 31 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Improving golf one explosion at a time.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Golf would be a hell of a lot more interesting if one ball at each tournament was secretly filled with enough high-explosives to seriously maim and/or kill whoever hits it.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]IT_IS_MR_TORGUE 12 points 13 points 14 points 9 years ago (2 children)

I LIKE YOU. COME WORK FOR TORGUE.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I WOULD LIKE A KERBLASTER AND RAVAGER AS SIGN-ON BONUSES ҉

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]IT_IS_MR_TORGUE 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (0 children)

DONE, STRANGER ҉

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]take_it_in_strider SMOKIN JESUS TITTY CINNAMON THAT THING IS A MONSTARRRRR 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Alternatively, Tediore clubs are great for people with anger management issues and Jakobs ones pretty much guarantee a hole-in-one (subject to being knocked off balance every time you swing).

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Y'all need to make this happen. I would totally play this game. And I hate golf.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Gamerghost44 Operation: Shoot that chick in the head. 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why you hate golf, there is something you don't know about me, but I am also an avid golfer. You might be wondering how I have time for both gaming and golfing, the answer is simple, I have no social life.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Malgayne 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

http://usatftw.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/ort1.gif

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]BlakeIt 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Damn, nice one!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 184 points 185 points 186 points 9 years ago (7 children)

Do you ever meet any of the 'war hippies' over at Maliwan? What do they smoke?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 486 points 487 points 488 points 9 years ago (6 children)

Batteries, weirdly? It's a -- it's like an e-cig thing, but somehow less cool. Imagine what an e-cig would have bullied in high school. It's like that.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]KaiserSeyla 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Are their e-cigs elemental too?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Kimimaro146 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Only incendiary

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Ignisar 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Torgue bought all of the explosive ones

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]solidfang 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (2 children)

It's probably an elemental e-cig or something. I've heard the corrosive ones really do a number on your internal organs.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]fixermark 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Ha, joke's on them.

They're all mildly corrosive.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

For some strange but very satisfying reason, I read that with Cave Johnson's voice in my head.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 174 points 175 points 176 points 9 years ago (8 children)

How do you get your hair to look so perfect?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 449 points 450 points 451 points 9 years ago (6 children)

Genetics.

And the tears of orphans.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Loqol 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Do they need to be crippled as well?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 17 points 18 points 19 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Well otherwise, I mean, what's the point?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]MLaw2008 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Where can I buy these orphan tears? Do they sell a pomade?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]banana_slap Team Mordecai 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Little children near and far

Don't know where your parents are

Cry directly in this jar

I will drink it at the bar

Sip sippin on orphan tears

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Oh man, I ain't seen a yfm reference in ages. At least I HOPE that's what you're referencing. Laugh at me otherwise.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]banana_slap Team Mordecai 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Exactly what I'm referencing.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]B_For_Dyslexia 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Probably the same substance that keeps his mask on

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 163 points 164 points 165 points 9 years ago (5 children)

Why do you only wear a glove on one hand? And why is the index finger cut out of it?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 497 points 498 points 499 points 9 years ago (4 children)

Ask Nisha.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Blazur Sup 28 points 29 points 30 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Comedy gold right here. I love the fact that Gearbox and 2k is allowing you to get away with this. Er, I mean...Hyperion is allowing you to get away with it.

Still gonna kill ya, however.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Tyres20 18 points 19 points 20 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Shush, you are spoiling BL2 for Jack.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 32 points 33 points 34 points 9 years ago (0 children)

This may be the best answer to that question possible. My mind is running with that now, I hope you know :P

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]DamagedSave 12 points 13 points 14 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So we're accepting this as canon right?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Dan_Fendi 338 points 339 points 340 points 9 years ago (10 children)

I have a CL4P-TP steward bot that keeps . . . integrating with every appliance I have with an open port. Is this a bug that's going to be patched any time soon? I called Customer Service and all I got was some dolt who told me to turn it off, then turn it on again. I figured you might know what's up, since you're a coder working for Hyperion.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 770 points 771 points 772 points 9 years ago (7 children)

I'm not tech support, but I've come up with a couple of solutions for the recurring "Claptrap is irritating" problem:

1. Kill the Claptrap
2. Kill yourself

It's an either/or thing. I wouldn't do both.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]PghDrake 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You wouldn't, of course. But why not suggest that HE does?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]JJacobi92 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you to make you do such a thing? Did she feed you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]RampageFillTheRedBar 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you ever considered trying to pay your enemies to kill themselves? You could post it to the job board and request them to jump into lava or something to that effect.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Eruanno 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What? Why not both? I thought Hyperion wanted to sell more people on the New-U thing. Suicide seems like the perfect business opportunity for this.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TeslaTorment I'm the conductor of the poop train. 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I fucking love you.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

He should, though.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mainstay17 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 79 points 80 points 81 points 9 years ago (0 children)

And now we know Hammerlock's /u/.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]deltax20a 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (0 children)

That's not a bug. That's a feature!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]NishaTheLawbringer 327 points 328 points 329 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Why do you keep staring at me whenever I ask you something? It gets a bit creepy after the first twenty or so times.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 465 points 466 points 467 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Hey, what's -- hey. How are -- what's up. Hey.

Hi, hey.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]NishaTheLawbringer 41 points 42 points 43 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You seriously confuse me sometimes.

Like, about to strangle someone confused.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]LumberjackPirate 158 points 159 points 160 points 9 years ago (5 children)

Why are there only 6 Sirens in the universe and how the hell did you find that out?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 369 points 370 points 371 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Everybody knows that. What, were you raised in a barn? A barn without books about Sirens?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]LordofShit 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Are we ever going to get more siren/erosion lore?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[+]venividigames comment score below threshold-14 points-13 points-12 points 9 years ago (2 children)

[–]AMontyPython 152 points 153 points 154 points 9 years ago (11 children)

What would the title of the song Taylor Swift writes about you be called?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 441 points 442 points 443 points 9 years ago (8 children)

"I'm glad that I finally found a permanent boyfriend in you, Handsome Jack, you are the best and we get along super well, let's kill everyone together"

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 475 points 476 points 477 points 9 years ago (6 children)

And then in parentheses, "(also wow you are super good at sex stuff)"

That's all one title

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]MotonlessPotato 15 points 16 points 17 points 9 years ago (0 children)

It's a title, AND the refrain.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]tht1crzyguy 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Taylor Swift suddenly became Fall Out Boy

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]GaigeAndDeathtrap 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So much hotness!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]The-Narwhal-Of-Doom 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

It's like a P!ATD song

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! -5 points-4 points-3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What the hell, my title was better than yours. That's not supposed to happen.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I want Taylor Swift to go on a murderous rampage with you, Jack.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Stealth_Cow 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Trouble?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

"Waaaaah Handsome Jack broke up with me so yeah this is another song about a breakup waaaaah and also he has a 12-inch penis and is really good in bed and super handsome and funny waaaaaah"

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Sko0ter 914 points 915 points 916 points 9 years ago (16 children)

Oh man, this is one of them moments. CATCH A RIIIIDE!!!!!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 1043 points 1044 points 1045 points 9 years ago (10 children)

I hope you die.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Sko0ter 204 points 205 points 206 points 9 years ago (9 children)

Now that ain't nice Mr. Jack. Yous just mad cause my inventions are givin ya a run for your money!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]FrostCollar 23 points 24 points 25 points 9 years ago (8 children)

> my inventions are givin ya a run for your money!

...are you making money? Them cars pop up for free for me.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Sko0ter 31 points 32 points 33 points 9 years ago (5 children)

Yeah, well, uh... Shoot...

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]CacophonicSex 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (4 children)

You might want to check the software vulnerabilities of your Catch-a-Ride stations. I'm pretty sure some people are hacking them to accept forged licenses.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]number473 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Then Scooter fixed the system and no-one was ever able to use vehicles in BL ever again.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]CacophonicSex 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (2 children)

I mean, you could buy a licence. What else you gonna do with the ridiculous amount of cash you accumulate.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Wade1423 SHUT THE F**k UP STEVE! 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Spend them on the new-U-stations. Because i suck at the game.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]CacophonicSex 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

SSHHHH, *whispers* you can't talk about those where he can hear you!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]CacophonicSex 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I hope you didn't hack a Catch-a-Ride. I've heard he once (more than once) tied someone to a vending machine and set him on fire for making fun of his sister. My bet he just gets jealous of anyone who gets close to her. But if vendor-bound incineration is what he does out of jealousy, I'd hate to see him rage.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you taken the Swallowed Whole side mission? I wouldn't admit that to Scooter's face.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Kyomaa 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Seriously my favorite post of all time.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Etherfast 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Gahhhh :D

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[+]Holybasil Sup! comment score below threshold-17 points-16 points-15 points 9 years ago (2 children)

[–]Namatophobic Aiming? What is that? 140 points 141 points 142 points 9 years ago (2 children)

I heard vault hunters are really stupid. Like REALLY REALLY stupid. So stupid that if you hacked their ECHO and told them to do what you say, they probably will without ever asking "Why is there some girl covering my entire vision, why does she know so much about me, and why can she see my every movement?" Is this true?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 220 points 221 points 222 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Pahahahaha. Ahhh. So stupid.

So, so, so stupid.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]romannumbers96 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Follow up question - How did you get the wonderful idea for the "I'll pay you to kill yourself" mission?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (4 children)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 665 points 666 points 667 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Weirdly specific question.

But yes.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 135 points 136 points 137 points 9 years ago (2 children)

I'm having a great day, minding my own business in Fyrestone. I certainly hope that I don't get ambushed by skags and have my gun split up into 4 separate pieces!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Rockinallnight 18 points 19 points 20 points 9 years ago (0 children)

oh god THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT'S HAPPENING AGHHH

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (0 children)

OH GOD THAT IS EXACTLY WHATS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 265 points 266 points 267 points 9 years ago (8 children)

Handsome, heroic, and way too damned good at your job... I think the REAL question is why those idiot higher ups at Hyperion haven't been bending over backwards and recognizing your potential.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 631 points 632 points 633 points 9 years ago (7 children)

You? You're my kinda ass-kisser. When I electrify every keyboard connected to this AMA, I'll make sure yours is as a low wattage.

Well, low-ish.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 116 points 117 points 118 points 9 years ago (5 children)

Jokes on you, I'm reading from my cellular device!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 206 points 207 points 208 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Nice part about lithium ion batteries?

The part where they explode.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]checky 136 points 137 points 138 points 9 years ago (2 children)

DID SOMEBODY SAY....EXPLOSIONS? ҉

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]FlowersOfSin 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I clicked on that "load more comments" totally expecting that. Was not disappointed.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]NonsensicalBS 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Too soon man. Too soon

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Topher876 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Your screen is more conductive than my keyboard.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey, I only kiss asses for the best ;)

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 252 points 253 points 254 points 9 years ago (13 children)

How did you ever get so handsome?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 684 points 685 points 686 points 9 years ago (12 children)

See? Everyone, look -- look at this.

THIS is a question. Not "wuhgughf what if butt stallion and gugh torgue fought would that be fugughgh fun", not "wharglbhrrh new u stations wharhgh canon."

Just short, direct, and so complimentary that I got to half mast before I'd reached the third syllable.

Be like this guy. Or girl.

Hopefully girl. I'm into girls. Which evidently makes me some sort of outlier on Pandora.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]LunarFalcon 97 points 98 points 99 points 9 years ago (9 children)

Ooh hey! I'm a girl and totally willing to be arm candy for you. My husband might object but I'm sure you've got a melon baller for him.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]psychosaur 113 points 114 points 115 points 9 years ago (8 children)

Hmm, dumping me for Jack I see. Let me know that works out for you, dear.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]LunarFalcon 22 points 23 points 24 points 9 years ago (7 children)

You're just jealous because you're not even 1/10 of the man that Jack is.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]psychosaur 22 points 23 points 24 points 9 years ago (6 children)

No, I'm actually really happy for you. I'm sure Jack will take the best care of you.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]LunarFalcon 15 points 16 points 17 points 9 years ago (5 children)

Hey man, if it's Jack I'm sure I'd die happy.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]psychosaur 17 points 18 points 19 points 9 years ago (4 children)

I'm sure you will.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]LunarFalcon 15 points 16 points 17 points 9 years ago (3 children)

I know that you're upset because you were born with XY chromosomes and will never even have the chance yourself.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]psychosaur 18 points 19 points 20 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Yep, I'll never be drug around the galaxy to accompany Jack on his adventures. So sad. I hear Pandora is lovely this time of year.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

continue this thread

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 17 points 18 points 19 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Definitely girl... guess it's our lucky day ;)

I'm also guessing it's genetics and the tears of orphans, in which case hey... I'm not judging. It looks good on you!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (0 children)

> I'm into girls. Which evidently makes me some sort of outlier on Pandora.

Well, Fyrestone isn't exactly brimming with hot lady-psychos. A vault hunter's gotta have a good time somehow, amirite?!?

Maybe you can bring some change to Pandora.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 121 points 122 points 123 points 9 years ago (4 children)

Mr. Jack,

Do you have any advice for aspiring developers hoping to emulate your meteoric rise at Hyperion?

Also, have you considered any joint projects with Torgue Corp?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 224 points 225 points 226 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Sure! My advice to all you sad, mewling little wannabes is: don't! There's already one Handsome Jack, and it ain't you. So if you like your kidneys/house/mother's torso where they are, you'll stay riiiiight on the bottom of the ol' corporate ladder.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]KaiserBear My Siren's name is Brick, and she is the prettiest. 16 points 17 points 18 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Can I claw my way up to just below you, and then serve as a professional kiss-ass? I don't really have any corporate or leadership ambitions, I just want to claw some fuckers without fear of reprisal.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

As someone also named Jack, I like this guy.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]CacophonicSex 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Come on, man. We are in different markets. Sure you can spare a few secrets.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Brick50 CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN! 224 points 225 points 226 points 9 years ago (11 children)

Handsome Jack, first of all thank you for doing this!

What is your opinion of Wilhelm, Nisha, Claptrap, and Athena each individually?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 584 points 585 points 586 points 9 years ago (10 children)

Wilhelm: As far as monosyllabic cyborgs go, an okay dude. Seems pretty dense, easily led. Strongly considering poisoning him in the future in order to dupe my enemies into thinking they've won. Also considering accidentally forgetting to put that line of dialog into the game so it just ends up being super confusing and illogical.

Claptrap: No.

Athena: Weird chick. Prides herself on "loyalty," but the only thing I know about her is that she killed her old boss and blew up his big house of guns. So, uh, yeah, super trust her. Sure she's a straight shooter.

Nisha: She's, uh -- I like her. She's nice. Well not -- not NICE, she's definitely not NICE, but she's got a...like, a thing? About her? That I like? I don't know. It's -- shut up. Next question. Shut up.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Aethien 144 points 145 points 146 points 9 years ago (2 children)

> Nisha: She's, uh -- I like her. She's nice. Well not -- not NICE, she's definitely not NICE, but she's got a...like, a thing? About her? That I like? I don't know.

Great body and a penchant for murder?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]hesitant_blade 121 points 122 points 123 points 9 years ago (1 child)

> Brunette, great body, distantly related to him, great body... she's perfect man

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Reaperdude97 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Scooter?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Brick50 CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN! 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you ever considered destroying every single claptrap unit?

Also, is there anything going on between you and Moxxi?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]JunahCg You like that? 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

> Also considering accidentally forgetting to put that line of dialog into the game

Is that really what happened?! It all makes so much sense now.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]hardbeat101 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (0 children)

OOOOOOHHHHH MMYYYY GOOOODD!

She's Athena as in General Knoxx Athena!

Smokin' Jesus Titties Cinnamon!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]MLaw2008 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

That response about Nisha was amazing. Handsome Jack is real.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]CptnMrgn246 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Lol. Poor claptrap

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I hate to break character but if Gearbox actually forgot to put the poison dialogue in the game why didn't you/they just patch it in? Even if somehow you lose all copies of the audio file, it's on youtube.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[+]kevinpilgrim comment score below threshold-7 points-6 points-5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

[–]Loqol 209 points 210 points 211 points 9 years ago (9 children)

Why would you hire a CL4P-TP to do anything but open doors for you? What were you thinking trusting him on Elpis?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 466 points 467 points 468 points 9 years ago (8 children)

Look, I --

Look. It was a dark time in my life, okay? No real job prospects, no budget to do anything with, boss has it out for me (like, he hired assassins), no bodyguards. So I took a stupid little tin can programmed for dancing and high-pitched whining, I slapped some goddamn guns on him, and installed some stair-climbing subroutines.

We all make mistakes. Mine was not killing every single Claptrap I saw. And getting married.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]deltax20a 75 points 76 points 77 points 9 years ago (4 children)

That's sort of how I feel every time I log in to our Lotus Notes system.

Even the icon. That yellow icon. Oh god.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Writing integrations for Lotus Notes has been the closest I've come to self-harm.

No. Just, no.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]evenmorelike 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I just had a flashback. * shudder *

Have an upvote.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]whiteb90 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I have to suffer with that abysmal pile of coding failure as well. I feel your pain.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]qwertytarr 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Was it because she saw through your tough candy shell into the warm caramel center? Then saw through that into the even deeper harder shell inside that?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Loqol 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

It's okay, I won't judge you. Even I was tempted to find a way to off that adorkable little bot.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]RdJokr You scratch your own nuts. -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

But... Claptrap can already climb stairs. Why needing to install subroutines?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 379 points 380 points 381 points 9 years ago (25 children)

Who took longer to apply their mask every morning: you or Moxxi?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 1026 points 1027 points 1028 points 9 years ago (13 children)

It's cute that you think she was still around come morning.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]B_For_Dyslexia 202 points 203 points 204 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Daaaaamn Jack

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]glenheartless 96 points 97 points 98 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is that how fast she dumped you?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (3 children)

I thought Good Touch was in response to her disappointment with you.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]semi_modular_mind 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (2 children)

*Bad Touch

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (1 child)

She made Good Touch to compensate. Bad Touch was probably modeled after Jack.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (0 children)

She keeps Good Touch around to do what Jack couldn't.

She keeps Bad Touch around in case he tries again.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]SheZowRaisedByWolves 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Bruh

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]happybirthdaygelatin 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is this more of a comment on your self, Moxxi, or perhaps both of you?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ashhhhjx 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hahaha nice.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]theblackfool 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

My favorite reply here.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]EnasniVolz Miss me, Sugar? 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Oh sugar. Its cute that you think I wanted to be around you for more than a few hours at a time.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Loqol 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I like to picture this as you being the only motherfucker in the system to be able to tell her to go, rather than her likely keeping things on her terms.

My hat goes off to you.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (0 children)

But she dumped him.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 85 points 86 points 87 points 9 years ago (10 children)

Somebody's about to get choked.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 189 points 190 points 191 points 9 years ago (9 children)

*Ahem*

Strangled.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 434 points 435 points 436 points 9 years ago (3 children)

I like you.

Wait, nevermind, I looked at your username.

I don't like you.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 61 points 62 points 63 points 9 years ago (2 children)

What the hell, man? I'm not an actual jockey's ballsack! I'm a regular person who really likes Hyperion gear!

Screw it, I'm a strong independent black woman who don't need no Handsome Jack. Your loss.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]MothaFuckingSorcerer 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Everyone needs handsome Jack. You're lying to yourself.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AVeryProudBlackWoman 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You rang? I'm a bit late.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (3 children)

I am unaware of the distinction, hopefully someday it will be explained to me.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]renrawmit 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago* (2 children)

Choking is when there's some kind of blockage in the windpipe, like Jack's fist, preventing breathing. Strangling is when something squeezes it shut, like Jack's thumbs. Edit: words

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack has also strangled people with his watch chain. RIP Mr. Tassiter.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

woosh

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TheBetasaur Requesting Salute Support 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Not if that somebody was Moxxi. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Namatophobic Aiming? What is that? 99 points 100 points 101 points 9 years ago (2 children)

What is your day to day job like at Hyperion? What kind of place do you work at? Do you have any friends at work?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 292 points 293 points 294 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Do I have any fr--pahaha.

Do I have any friends, he asks. Of course I do. I've got tons of friends. God, I have so many friends. Jesus, I can't believe you even asked that. Too many to list here. God, so many friends. Man. You're an idiot.

Man.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Eruanno 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

...How many of your friends are currently alive? (Breathing through a tube does not count)

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Brokunn 95 points 96 points 97 points 9 years ago (5 children)

If you rearrange the letters in "Handsome Jack" you can spell "He's a damn jock". Are you aware of the implications?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 253 points 254 points 255 points 9 years ago (4 children)

"Oh, Jack, did you realize your name has an interesting anagram? Hey Jack, you definitely didn't run your name through an anagram machine when you decided to completely redefine your personality and found the one that had the most masculine and aggro sentences hiding in it, did you? You're definitely not the smartest goddamn person on Pandora, so there's no way you did any of that, right?"

You goddamn people.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (3 children)

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 178 points 179 points 180 points 9 years ago (19 children)

Who do you consider to be Hyperions top competitor?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 444 points 445 points 446 points 9 years ago (18 children)

People who ask questions about if New-U stations are canon or not.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago* (15 children)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 387 points 388 points 389 points 9 years ago (0 children)

The missiles are already in the air. Stay where you are unless you want to increase the collateral damage.

Which, hey, that'd be pretty funny, so actually screw it go ahead and do that

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]Eruanno 85 points 86 points 87 points 9 years ago (9 children)

Silliest endgame ever: Two New-U stations facing eachother: Vault Hunter shoots Jack, Jack respawns, shoots Vault Hunter, Vault Hunter respawns, shoots Jack -continue to infinity-

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]hitalec 14 points 15 points 16 points 9 years ago (3 children)

To be fair, the New-U stations run on money, so one of the competitors would naturally run out of money before the other.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ShittDickk 21 points 22 points 23 points 9 years ago (0 children)

That'd be even funnier. Have a Bank Account Bar, instead of a Boss Health Bar. If you can't kill jack, you break him. Take him for everything he's worth.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Spider_Riviera WANT IT! NEED IT GOTTA HAVE IT! 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Respawn is free, if you're poor enough though...

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]hitalec 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Oh, my apologies. That's interesting and I didn't know that!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Colavs9601 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Too bad the infinity pistol has such a horrible drop rate.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]unit220 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Or until someone runs outta money. spoiler alert, jack wins

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Could make a Machina about it.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]GloriousToast 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I had a game where jack's doubles spawned endlessly. It was fun for three minutes but they just kept coming :c

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]RuneKatashima And I disappear A ghost amidst the combat Preparing to strike. 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

One of them will run out of money eventually.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Meta as fuck. Crosses fingers that Jack has a New-U account.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I laugh at people who talk about things outside of the game, like game writers.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ItsGotToMakeSense Steeeeeven! 83 points 84 points 85 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Jack, we all know you're awesome. But what we're wondering is, how did you become so awesome? Were you born that way or do you have to work for it every day?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 221 points 222 points 223 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Some men are born awesome, some have awesomeness thrust upon them, some get incredibly depressed from being labeled a nerd and arbitrarily decide to upend their entire persona and create an awesome new one from scratch.

Not saying which one I am, just observing.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]theGentlemanInWhite 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I'd certainly be willing to believe that this awesome person decided to "thrust" upon you.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]rambogizmo 85 points 86 points 87 points 9 years ago (15 children)

Would you say that RED is Taylor's definitive album, or are you a fan of her earlier works? Personally, I can't wait for 1989.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 232 points 233 points 234 points 9 years ago (14 children)

I've heard some advance tracks from 1989, and it's definitely her best. Though RED is a better encapsulation of her ability to straddle country and pop, so as a quintessential T-Swift album I'd be hard pressed to recommend the more pop-centric 1989 over it, even if it's my personal preference.

One time I choked a guy so hard one of his eyeballs popped out

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]One_more_page Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (6 children)

You what'd a guy so hard his eyeballs popped out? Jack, I am disappointed in you.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]qwertytarr 19 points 20 points 21 points 9 years ago (5 children)

He obviously means he stuck he fist down the guy's throat and caused him to choke from that. Dumbass.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 54 points 55 points 56 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Correct. The fact that you all seem to think strangulation is the only way you can kill someone using their neck and your bare hands is pretty disappointing.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]idkmybffyossarian 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Oh. Bare hands. Homophones are gonna be the death of me.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]MartyMcPunchman 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Seriously, I was already planning on buying the Pre-Sequel, but this single post, right here, inspired me to buy my stupid friend who's on the fence about it a copy.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]MartyMcPunchman 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I am so very happy to read this. Finally, someone gets it.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]One_more_page Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Of course! How could I have ever doubted?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (1 child)

> One time I choked a guy

!!!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ContemplativeOctopus"the moral is: you're a total bitch" 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Just once? I'm awfully surprised too.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TheAugitePawn 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Nice save.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I love that big bad Jack of Hyperion loves Taylor Swift.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ContemplativeOctopus"the moral is: you're a total bitch" 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

> One time I choked a guy so hard one of his eyeballs popped out

Is this a new album? I don't think I've heard it yet.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

*Strangled

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Cookerrrr 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

- Strangled

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]BallisticGE0RGE The Bandit Show 78 points 79 points 80 points 9 years ago* (4 children)

If you could torture any person, at any place in the galaxy, with whatever method you preferred...Who? Where? And what?

Edit - Please don't say me. :(

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 156 points 157 points 158 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Too late. Now you've put the idea in my head.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]BallisticGE0RGE The Bandit Show 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Can I at least know where and with what method? I'd like to know if I should plan for a closed or open casket.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]MacThaKnife1987 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Kill him with the Spoon from the Spoon Story

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Trust me, there won't be enough for a casket.
Source: Also a Jack, we're thorough, goddamn it.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago* (9 children)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 713 points 714 points 715 points 9 years ago (5 children)

1. I
2. Am
3. Going
4. To
5. Murder
6. You

I answered a bonus question for you!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]maggosh 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Where do I find this Mr. Murder?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Well, this is Murderlin the Wizard. Close enough?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]Coylie3 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

But seriously, where did you get Butt Stallion?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 70 points 71 points 72 points 9 years ago* (2 children)

YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR MOTHERF*CKIN FLAIR ҉

IT'S GODDAMNED TORGUE WITH A GODDAMNED G ҉

AND NEVER FORGET THE F*CKIN' EXPLERIOD ҉

EDIT - THAT'S SOME GOOD SH*T RIGHT THERE JUST COPY AND PASTE AN EXPLERIOD ONTO THE END OF IT AND YOU'LL BE BALLER AS F*CK ҉

Double edit - Nice knowing you, Salsa.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]IT_IS_MR_TORGUE 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I LIKE YOU. LET'S DO LUNCH ҉

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago (0 children)

EXPLERIOD FTW!!! ҉ ҉ ҉

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HydroXXodohR NIPPLE SALAD 78 points 79 points 80 points 9 years ago (3 children)

How does the Pandoran moon compare to other moons?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 216 points 217 points 218 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Lot more weird accents.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

In comparison to other moons on which I'd assume every guy sounds like Dameon Clarke and every woman Stephanie Young?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]himynameisadam 76 points 77 points 78 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Hi Handsome Jack,

Do you see yourself as more of a visionary or an inspiration? Followup: Do you need any yes men?
Followup followup: What is your favorite song from our insignificant planet?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 206 points 207 points 208 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I don't have time for people who require multiple followups, unless we're talking about surgeries that give you machine gun arms so you can kill everyone in New Haven for me.

Shout out to my boy Wilhelm.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]himynameisadam 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Thank you for not only gracing my comment with your presence but also using me as a platform for hyping your friends.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 75 points 76 points 77 points 9 years ago (6 children)

how many body doubles will we have to bribe to get into your inner circle

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 218 points 219 points 220 points 9 years ago (5 children)

My "inner circle" consists of:

- Me
- Whatever I have in my pockets
- Whomever I am strangling and/or having sex with at that particular moment in time

So, unless you turn into a pen or start wearing cowboy hats, you're not getting anywhere near my inner circle.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 14 points 15 points 16 points 9 years ago (0 children)

guess ill start drinking ink.

fill out the choking/strangling and being a pen categories at once.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Do you at times strangle and sex at the same time?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]zjat 14 points 15 points 16 points 9 years ago (0 children)

wait

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ProblemTroll CAW CAW CAW 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So you're banging Hammerlock? Last I checked, he had a wonderfully crafted cowboy hat with a large plume of bullymong fur adorned upon it. Looks like someone isn't into ONLY the chicks of Pandora.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Cyberkite 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So you are not planing to kill this guys?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]gemini-siren 74 points 75 points 76 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Hey - I work in the office adjacent to yours, and I keep hearing these WEIRD noises coming from behind locked doors... what's going on in there?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 140 points 141 points 142 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Shut up. Keep working. Shut up.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]gemini-siren 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Yes sir salutes ;)

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 144 points 145 points 146 points 9 years ago (7 children)

http://imgur.com/YHlwPbB Hey weird, I found another picture of me as a teenager. This is me boarding an interstellar shuttle to my school dance.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 108 points 109 points 110 points 9 years ago (4 children)

And this is me all tired after the dance. I got stood up. http://imgur.com/xuvPEfm

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Stood up?! But you're Handsome Jack!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

But that guy is dead (to us). Dun dun dun dun DUN dun dun dun dun dun duuuuunnnnnnnnn.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ashhhhjx 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I would never stand you up.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[+]Daenyrig comment score below threshold-12 points-11 points-10 points 9 years ago (0 children)

[–]Brandonspikes 5/5 Relentless 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Andrew Goldfarb

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]kitttykatz This jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dude. One Piece? Really?

Man, your grandmother REALLY did a number on you. You let her off way too easy...

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]BigJC103 69 points 70 points 71 points 9 years ago (2 children)

If you could re-purpose a CL4P-TP unit into any house hold object, what would it be

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 181 points 182 points 183 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Kindling

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Not to be pedantic, but I think a man-size robot would be fuel.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 65 points 66 points 67 points 9 years ago (3 children)

What does a typical night on Elpis look like for Handsome Jack?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 158 points 159 points 160 points 9 years ago (2 children)

If I'm on my game, it looks like a really angry-looking Nisha trying to break my esophagus.

If I'm not on my game, I shoot hoops.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Good hoop shooting in low-G?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]amnesiacPterodactyl CRIMEBUSTER BOT? BITCH, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

BASKETBAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Valdrax Numbers, numbers, math-math-math. 66 points 67 points 68 points 9 years ago (3 children)

How did your grandmother end up on Pandora?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 155 points 156 points 157 points 9 years ago (2 children)

I moved her there so I could keep an eye on her. If I'd left her on Hera, she might have finished that spanking gun she was working on.

You know that asshole sent me birthday cards with no money in them?

Wish she'd died slower. God.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Valdrax Numbers, numbers, math-math-math. 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (1 child)

She's from Hera? How fast did she go native to end up with a buzzaxe?

Was going native an improvement in her temperament?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (0 children)

The fuck are you talking about? She introduced the buzzaxe to Pandora.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]crazychilidog 62 points 63 points 64 points 9 years ago (1 child)

So I ordered a Hyperion Tech High Grade Industrial Superstar Max 7040(TM) about six months ago and it still hasn't came in the mail yet. How come your shipping is such garbage?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 140 points 141 points 142 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Probably because it's busy filling requests to sentient chili dogs instead of, I don't know, shipping me additional robot reinforcements and food.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]thewalex Hyperion Science Divsion Rookie 189 points 190 points 191 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Hey Jack!

I'm currently a graduate student research assistant, but what I really want to do is work for you on the Moon (once I defend my thesis)! Does Hyperion's science division currently have any openings I could apply for?

Can I just give you my curriculum vitae directly, or is there a website where I can submit it?

Thanks, A.K. Wolf

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 266 points 267 points 268 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I was initially going to turn you down cause you're not a hot chick, but your resume convinced me. Head on up in a few hours. That's about as long as the poison will take to run its course on your predecessor.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]thewalex Hyperion Science Divsion Rookie 31 points 32 points 33 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

If I get there early, am I welcome to finish him off in his weakened state?

I considered including a pin up, hoping you'd see that and miss that I'm a guy. But I knew better than to try to slip one by you!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 63 points 64 points 65 points 9 years ago (2 children)

I can't think of any questions, I just wanted to say you're my hero and I want to be like you when I grow up!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 172 points 173 points 174 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Good.

You won't be.

But good.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]LordofShit 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Like you or grow up?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]BallisticGE0RGE The Bandit Show 60 points 61 points 62 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Any good advice for removing blood stains from fine fabrics?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 125 points 126 points 127 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What? Just get your man to do it for you. Are you kidding me with this?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Ms4sman I'm the conductor of the poop train! 121 points 122 points 123 points 9 years ago (15 children)

What brand of pretzels do you buy? After all, I wouldn't want to accidentally buy pretzels that suck.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 270 points 271 points 272 points 9 years ago (14 children)

Funny story: my assistant had replaced my usual brand with those, like, Pop Chip things? The little styrofoam bastards, taste like your grandmother's back?

Yeah, his family's gonna miss him.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago* (9 children)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 72 points 73 points 74 points 9 years ago (7 children)

It's fine. You can be wrong about things. Some people like slamming their fingers in desk drawers, or Big Bang Theory.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]take_it_in_strider SMOKIN JESUS TITTY CINNAMON THAT THING IS A MONSTARRRRR 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Damn straight.

Fuck Big Bang Theory.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]idontreallyreddit 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (0 children)

i'm going to have to use that more often. http://i.imgur.com/MzTkpvB.png

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago* (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]musicman_28 I should build you an extra arm just for high-fives! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (2 children)

BAZZINGGA!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]delorean225 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

On the other side...
COOLCOOLCOOL!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Bropiphany 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

BASPINGI

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ViaBlaze 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I hear that there is a grade A assistant applying for Hyperion named Blake, do you think you might hire her?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Jill4ChrisRed 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What family?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]rgbwr 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

They'd miss him if they were still alive, you mean.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AllMySadness Zane 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

But how can the dead miss something too?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 57 points 58 points 59 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Jack,

What's your life philosophy? I need direction in my life. And chips. And a chocolate shake. Can you help?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 138 points 139 points 140 points 9 years ago (1 child)

My life philosophy is "be a good guy, save people, kill bad guys, eat cinnamon rolls if you really want to, listen to Taylor Swift, strangle underlings."

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Madfall Siconnors 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can Taylor Swift afford a butt stallion yet?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Rebel350 55 points 56 points 57 points 9 years ago (9 children)

I suspect my roommate is colluding with Dahl. What do you suggest I do?

What's your preferred method of taking down evildoers?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 106 points 107 points 108 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Depends. What's he deathly allergic to, and can you find a way to subtly sneak it into his food without making it look like you did it?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Rebel350 21 points 22 points 23 points 9 years ago (2 children)

He's allergic to bees... Screw it I'll just put some bees in the fat bastard's chips and anyone who looks too closely I'll just face fuck with a bag of nails.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (0 children)

And that is how Handsome Jack pays ransoms!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If that Jack doesn't hire you, this one will.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]RunicSSB I HAVE ISSUES 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Just fucking shoot him. If he's using Dahl weapons, he's practically unarmed.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Born2Hula91 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago* (3 children)

I suspect my roommate is liar and doesn't understand the amazing utility of Hyperion Weaponry.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Rebel350 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (2 children)

I know for a fact that while you're "Doing your homework" you're actually looking at pictures of shaved goats while touching yourself.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Born2Hula91 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Please respect the man's AMA and stop spreading lies on the internet.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Rebel350 -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

... I'm going to rub my sweaty balls all over your toothbrush.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 255 points 256 points 257 points 9 years ago (11 children)

Wait, I thought this was Pre-Sequel Jack. STOP SAYING STUFF ABOUT HOW HE DIES HORRIBLY IN BL2, IT WILL SPOIL THE GAME FOR HIM.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 496 points 497 points 498 points 9 years ago (9 children)

What's BL2

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Jarl__Ballin Critical, bitch! 390 points 391 points 392 points 9 years ago (6 children)

Backdoor Lesbos 2

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Kimimaro146 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Was an improvement over the first one.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]RockinOneThreeTwo Ghosting - I disappear. 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I hope you're an ant

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If anyone hasn't seen Backdoor Lesbos 2 then it's their own damn fault for reading spoilers

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ForscythBrazilliance STOP SCREAMING! 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

BACKDOOR LESBOS 2?!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]LordofShit 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jeez, that makes Naughty nurses 7 look like bouncing booty back door busty babes 5.5!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 46 points 47 points 48 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Never you mind.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (0 children)

It's this silly game where people think they can stop you from opening a vault on Pandora and ruling the planet through the control of the ancient warrior which was trapped inside the vault. It's as far-fetched as that sentence was rambling and vaguely coherent.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I'm not even sure what it is.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]GrandmasterB-Funk 54 points 55 points 56 points 9 years ago (3 children)

In the Pre-sequel, are we gonna get to see your softer, cuddlier side?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 128 points 129 points 130 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Sure, yeah. I don't kill as many people, so I guess that's softer.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Eruanno 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Wait, what. PREORDER CANCELLED.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (0 children)

That depends. Did you pre-order? That nets you the aggressive snuggling DLC.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ombrophilia 53 points 54 points 55 points 9 years ago (2 children)

How do you address the various paternity claims made against you by the former CEO of S&S Munitions?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 128 points 129 points 130 points 9 years ago (1 child)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi_XLOBDo_Y

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Greyfox643 I need it dead in 1 shot or less 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Classiest. Answer. Ever.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 51 points 52 points 53 points 9 years ago (4 children)

You're (thankfully!) not to blame for the CL4P-TP units' AI... but what sorts of things HAVE you been in charge of programming/writing code for at Hyperion?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 121 points 122 points 123 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Social media, synergy, content, value, branding, brand messaging, content creation, value dynamics, dynamic values, content, mindshare, positively impacting purchase intent, Battleborn is: FPS; hobby-grade coop campaign; genre-blended, multi-mode competitive e-sports; meta-growth, choice + epic Battleborn Heroes

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Good god, you are perfection wrapped up in an enigma wrapped up in a handsome package. (If I wasn't sold about Battleborn Heroes yet, I am now :P)

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Thorn or Rath?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]farfr0mepic 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Spoken like a true CEO.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]WifkyRijanarko 140 points 141 points 142 points 9 years ago (5 children)

Would you fight 1000 Midget-Sized Warriors or 1 Warrior-Sized Psycho?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 291 points 292 points 293 points 9 years ago (1 child)

1 Warrior-Sized Psycho. I think you're severely underestimating the deadliness of Pandora's little people.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Cyberogue I LOVE my powers 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you ever fought legendary loot midgets? Yeah, 1000 of those

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (2 children)

1000 midgets psychos or one Krieg?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]KaiserBear My Siren's name is Brick, and she is the prettiest. 16 points 17 points 18 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I'm not fighting Krieg, his pecs have pecs.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Zeero92 STRANGER DANGER!!! 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

YOU'LL NEVER CHOKE ME DOWN!!!!!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Paulie36 95 points 96 points 97 points 9 years ago (8 children)

How is Butt Stallion doing? and Have you gotten better playing the violin?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 340 points 341 points 342 points 9 years ago (6 children)

She's alright. Accidentally speared one her of handlers with that bi-horn thingy, and she kinda cries a lot and tries to break free of her chains, but I'm pretty sure that's just how diamond ponies express happiness.

And I am sick as hell at the violin now. I can play Wonderwall.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 146 points 147 points 148 points 9 years ago (3 children)

> I can play Wonderwall.

See, douchebags play Wonderwall on guitar. Artists play it on violin.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Aethien 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (2 children)

> See, douchebags play Wonderwall on guitar. Artists pretentious douchebags play it on violin.

Fixed that for you.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 19 points 20 points 21 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Well, you just earned a spot on the strangulation list.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Kyomaa 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

They're not douche bags okay, they're ... eclectic... ... ... Just looked up the definition for that word, definitely corresponds with douche bag. Sorry for interrupting you.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can you play Masterplan as well? I'm looking to hold an Oasis cover performance in Oasis, over the corpse of that Shade douchetool.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Zombait 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

But, he hasn't named butt stallion yet...

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]N3WM4NH4774N with words 97 points 98 points 99 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Hi Jack!

I'm a huge fan, I've read all about how you opened the vault on Pandora and slew the Destroyer, great job!!! Thanks for doing this AMA.

Now for my question: I'm stuck here in the slums on Promethea, I really want to get offworld and come work for Hyperion. Any advise?

Thanks a bazillion! N3WM4NH4774N

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 147 points 148 points 149 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Tell ya what -- you find some Eridian tech on Promethea, and we'll come to you. Alternately, just do what I do -- get blackmail evidence on your bosses, commandeer a satellite, and hire mercenaries to murder people for you.

Now that I think about it, doesn't sound like our situations are too similar. Guess you're gonna die. Love you!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Scribshanks 47 points 48 points 49 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Jack, I'm looking for a new job. I'm an communications engineer at the moment, but I'm looking to move to death traps / super weapons. Can you help me out?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 96 points 97 points 98 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Just start building them on your own time. Hyperion really appreciates a can-do, self-motivated perspective on mass murder.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 98 points 99 points 100 points 9 years ago (10 children)

Inquiring minds want to know... what do you smell like?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 207 points 208 points 209 points 9 years ago* (9 children)

When I'm angry: fresh-baked cookies

When I'm aroused: burning flesh

When I'm eating fresh-baked cookies: strangulation

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (6 children)

What does strangulation smell like?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]gamenut89 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Quesadilla_Quarian 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Fresh baked cookies.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HitmanRob1 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Burning cookies.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Gamerghost44 Operation: Shoot that chick in the head. 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why not fresh baked flesh.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]PixelatedBaloney 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Sunshine and buttercups.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Rainbows and summer days.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]El_Cookienator 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I'm liking the cookie theme here

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Alright, inquiring minds NOW want to know... what happens when you get aroused that makes you smell like burning flesh? Or does the sensation of lighting other people on fire just excite you, making the burning flesh smell sort of a background effect?

...either way, count me in. You'll find no judgment here!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]13Graves 95 points 96 points 97 points 9 years ago (4 children)

Handsome, why are they even CALLED Sirens? I mean, they don't lure seamen to their death or anything. What do you think a better name for them is?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 273 points 274 points 275 points 9 years ago (2 children)

"Macguffins"

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]RuneKatashima And I disappear A ghost amidst the combat Preparing to strike. 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

The reference.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dead.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TheAngryBlueberry YOU ROBOTIC SUMBITCHES 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (0 children)

They sure lure MY seamen to death ;)

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]_AxtonTheCommando_Meet my Girlfriend 96 points 97 points 98 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I'm an unemployed up-and-coming vault hunter that definitely has no past affiliations with one of Hyperion's greatest competitors looking for a way around Pandora. Could you suggest a rail line?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 129 points 130 points 131 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I've got just the one.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 130 points 131 points 132 points 9 years ago (2 children)

When you become president, will you have whoever wrote the AI for the CL4P-TP units arrested for their unspeakable crimes against humanity?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 471 points 472 points 473 points 9 years ago (1 child)

"Arrested"

Pahahahahahahahhahahaahahah

Oh my god I can't

Aahahhahahahahahahahhaah

Arrested

Oh god

Aahahahah

This friggin guy

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I like the way you think... I'm into Murders and Executions, myself. Errrr... Mergers and Acquisitions.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HelixDnB 44 points 45 points 46 points 9 years ago (10 children)

Do you have any more grade school photos to share?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 86 points 87 points 88 points 9 years ago (9 children)

Yeah, here's a good one. http://oyster.ignimgs.com/wordpress/write.ign.com/62772/2013/02/goldfarb.jpg

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 81 points 82 points 83 points 9 years ago (7 children)

Here's another good one. This is me dressed up for private school.

I was eight.

http://bitcast-a-sm.bitgravity.com/slashfilm/wp/wp-content/images/extras02.jpg

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 84 points 85 points 86 points 9 years ago (5 children)

Here's me hanging out with my uncle. http://bitcast-a-sm.bitgravity.com/slashfilm/wp/wp-content/images/extras09-550x308.jpg

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How did you get so handsome?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]FatedTitan 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Took you as much more of a handsome guy than that. No wonder you put a mask on.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey look it's andrew miller from podcast unlocked brap brap.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Blazur Sup -4 points-3 points-2 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Holy crap, Gary Busey is your uncle? That explains your rise to infamy.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HelixDnB 12 points 13 points 14 points 9 years ago (0 children)

That's Ted Danson

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Why_T No Krieg, that's not where the pain goes. 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is that Taylor Swift behind you?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TheHorsemanConquest 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I didn't realize you were also fucking up Payday 2.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]scorpianman42 86 points 87 points 88 points 9 years ago (17 children)

What is your favorite fruit?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 202 points 203 points 204 points 9 years ago (16 children)

Grapefruit. If you're imaginative -- which, obviously I am -- you can find some pretty neat uses of citrus as an enhanced interrogation technique. Acidic foods, babe.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]thewalex Hyperion Science Divsion Rookie 75 points 76 points 77 points 9 years ago (11 children)

I can only presume you're referring to The Grapefruit Technique? Is that a personal favorite of yours?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]hitschildren 47 points 48 points 49 points 9 years ago (0 children)

^ Super NSFW

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I have the weirdest boner right now

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Darsol 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Oh jesus, the sounds at the end...

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Kimimaro146 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

HORGHGJOGRGGFGGHG

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Wibblybit 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

what is this..........

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]msmorphine 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I....really thought I was progressive...until now. >_>

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TheAngryBlueberry YOU ROBOTIC SUMBITCHES 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Sloppy sloshin' Jack

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]WeightyUnit88 If it took more than one shot, you weren't using a Jakobs 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

WHAT.THE.FUCK

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I can't be the only one disappointed that this method isn't remotely painful for the guy.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Ghostlupe 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Please God no, I nearly killed my vocal cords from laughing so hard the last time I watched that. x3

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Fleemer 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

wtf LOOLLOOLOL

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]SirPutts-a-lot 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (3 children)

I'm guessing /u/scorpianman42 is a man. Do you call all 42 year old men "babe"?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 54 points 55 points 56 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Yes, which is why I'm running a multimillion dollar corporation and your name is Sir Putts-a-Lot.

Your name is Sir Putts-a-Lot.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]deltax20a 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I am totally opening up a mini-golf course on the moon called SIR PUTTS-A-LOT MOON GOLF.

Home of the "Hole in None" where you'll never get it in there in the first place. HA HA... low gravity.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Loqol 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Only multimillion? What happened? Did the repairs to BNK3R get to extensive?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 167 points 168 points 169 points 9 years ago (9 children)

Did you ride Buttstallion to the top of Dragon Keep?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 780 points 781 points 782 points 9 years ago (5 children)

You're asking if I rode my diamond-encrusted horse to the top of an imaginary location inside a crazy little girl's head?

Yeah, good question, thanks for asking. Super glad I did this.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Reamofqtips 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (2 children)

I thought Buttstallion wasn't covered in diamonds, but instead, made of actual diamond.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Stolehtreb 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Maybe Handsome Jack isn't such a smart motherfucker afterall.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (0 children)

The pony is made of solid diamond, then encrusted with other, faceted diamonds. So it's both super hard and nicely glittery.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Hellz_Blazer 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Forgot the part about you being dead.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]bwaredapenguin 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How do you even know about this?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 43 points 44 points 45 points 9 years ago (2 children)

That was the Handsome Sorcerer in a completely made up game, DUH.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]B_For_Dyslexia 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Chill out, Tina

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ViaBlaze 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Boi! Don't make me get my two main squeezes on you.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (4 children)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 199 points 200 points 201 points 9 years ago (3 children)

"What if we made a sitcom about nerds"

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]EnasniVolz Miss me, Sugar? 18 points 19 points 20 points 9 years ago (0 children)

"Yeah, but does anyone KNOW what nerds are like?" "I hear they like comics." "YEAH! And don't understand GIRLS!" "Perfect, lets do it."

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Melancholy9 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I love you jack.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 -3 points-2 points-1 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Was that a "Bazinga!"?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Smallestnoob 86 points 87 points 88 points 9 years ago (2 children)

I love you?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 173 points 174 points 175 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Good?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Smallestnoob 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (0 children)

ok ok ok... follow up question... keep it cool me....hhhhhhh

Can I buy you flowers?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]MMX2 86 points 87 points 88 points 9 years ago (8 children)

Who do you think would win in a race: the Flash or Sonic the Hedgehog?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 346 points 347 points 348 points 9 years ago (7 children)

Sonic, because The Flash is a fictional character.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]DisablingNotion 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I think you mean Sanic, son.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]MMX2 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Ohboyohboyohboy, does this mean Sonic is canon? :D

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]rival22x 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I hate to tell you this and but Hedgehog's are real and not one of them is going to tell you that there name isn't sonic.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[+]Daenyrig comment score below threshold-15 points-14 points-13 points 9 years ago (3 children)

[–]hulachan 83 points 84 points 85 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Is there anything funnier than a three-legged hamster walking on chopstick stilts?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 267 points 268 points 269 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Yes.

Your family dying

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]diosamente 75 points 76 points 77 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Jack you Handsome bastard! How can I keep my skin smooth into my midlife without eridium? And are those cheekbones inherited or some sort of plastic surgery deal?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 185 points 186 points 187 points 9 years ago (0 children)

"Inherited" is such a flavorless word. "Forcibly removed from Eden-6's most famous actor and jammed into my jawline," I can get behind.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]sofakingreat I want to drown in your blood! 74 points 75 points 76 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Did you ever get better pretzels?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 169 points 170 points 171 points 9 years ago (1 child)

No.

Jesus goddamn wept.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ContemplativeOctopus"the moral is: you're a total bitch" 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Well if you didn't get pretzels at least you got wine tears.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 73 points 74 points 75 points 9 years ago (6 children)

Will you be my dad?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 228 points 229 points 230 points 9 years ago (5 children)

Statistically speaking, I probably am anyway.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 23 points 24 points 25 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Good, you owe me 32 years worth of Christmas and Birthday presents.

Jerk.

And a hug.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 60 points 61 points 62 points 9 years ago (2 children)

I'll give you a condescending non-compliment and a threatening glance.

Final offer.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 26 points 27 points 28 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Deal.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Also, I love you.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ContemplativeOctopus"the moral is: you're a total bitch" 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Khan? Is that you?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 77 points 78 points 79 points 9 years ago (0 children)

He's pretty ass at getting me stuff when I need it. And he's needlessly nice to bandits. And I'm pretty sure he wants to get me killed so he can take my job.

Actually, now that you mention it, that guy's a dick.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]seaatar 36 points 37 points 38 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Being such a handsome man as yourself, you must have the correct answer to this question.

Boxers or Briefs?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 93 points 94 points 95 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Look, you may not know this, but when you start wearing designer clothes, you need to switch to tight boxer-brief combinations. Nobody wears briefs anymore, and boxers ride up so high that people can see them and you look silly.

It's like you've never talked to my personal stylist or something.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]RdJokr You scratch your own nuts. 72 points 73 points 74 points 9 years ago (6 children)

On a scale of 1-10, how hot is Nisha?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 174 points 175 points 176 points 9 years ago (4 children)

I don't want to say. She might read this. That'd be weird. It's weird to say how hot you find someone, right? You have to be, like, cool about it.

So five? Like five? Or is that insulting?

Six?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 47 points 48 points 49 points 9 years ago* (3 children)

Come on dude, you're Handsome Jack, not Awkward Jack. Tell her that you like the way she relentlessly murders people and that you would like to have a whole lot of sex with her. Hell, promise her she can be the Sheriff of a town on Pandora once you take over. She'll melt like butter. Right on to your junk!

UP HIGH!

o/

No?

Okay.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]CaptHunter TURN AROUND PRETTY LADY! 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Q

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]MegaAlex 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Dude... run

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (0 children)

> Dude... run

Pfffft he didn't even respond. He said he hated me twice already and I'm still ali

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]famouspants 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How hot was she? Right? Cause her face was somehow blasted off with a Maggie.

Not saying it was me.

Ok, it was me.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]SpecterGT260 37 points 38 points 39 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Mr. Jack, I have this recurring issue where I eat a sandwich and end up strangling on it a little bit. I'm told I just eat too fast and should chew more carefully to avoid strangling on my food. I think this is BS...

Any tips?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 80 points 81 points 82 points 9 years ago (1 child)

God, what is it with you people not knowing the difference between choking and strangulation?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]mchief75 12 points 13 points 14 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I thought this was your AMA, aren't we supposed to be asking you the questions?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TheAnt06[🍰] 35 points 36 points 37 points 9 years ago (2 children)

How do I get to be like you? You know, the coolest dude in the whole universe with everything he wants

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 82 points 83 points 84 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Pahahahahaahahaha

You don't.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TheAnt06[🍰] 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I'm going to go kill your daughter a whole bunch.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 79 points 80 points 81 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Cause my moonbase doesn't work like that.

Anymore.

Catch Borderlands The Pre-Sequel fever

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]glenheartless 29 points 30 points 31 points 9 years ago (3 children)

after ultimate vault hunter there should be a new difficulty: Handsome vault hunter mode. Same with guns: Handsome guns! only drops from handsome badasses like yourself!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 88 points 89 points 90 points 9 years ago (2 children)

A Handsome difficulty would mean nothing's ever difficult because you're perfect.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Namnamex 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

But what of us that are less than perfect? Surely it would provide a challenge for use mortals

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]One_more_page Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Than we should have an Ugly difficulty, where everything one-shots you because they hate looking at that ugly face, there are no loot drops and the Handsome Jack boss fight one shots you so hard it deletes your save of that character... you know for a challenge.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]PhoenixMichi 62 points 63 points 64 points 9 years ago (7 children)

Which Vault Hunter would you want to turn into a cyborg like Wilhelm?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 174 points 175 points 176 points 9 years ago (6 children)

Nisha. Her clench could be tighter.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 70 points 71 points 72 points 9 years ago (4 children)

Damn, did you just tell thousands of people that Nisha has a loose cooch?

I mean, it's your right to say what you want, but I dunno if she'd like it. Or who knows, maybe she would. She seems like a pretty cool chick. You know, for being a ruthless killer and gun-for-hire.

Since you brought up the subject, is it true that you can actually walk inside of Moxxi's love bucket?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 180 points 181 points 182 points 9 years ago (2 children)

What? No. Her hand.

Jesus.

You're the worst.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 28 points 29 points 30 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Oh, so you have a strangulation fetish. I have a friend named Carol Crystal Cherlene Cheryl that you'd probably like a whole lot.

But what about Moxxi? Is it true?

And I'm really a nice guy once you get to know me. So put off the whole "shooting me in the face" thing for at least a little bit, and give me a chance.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TrainerBlack2 Call me Gundalf! 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Welcome to the internet, Jack. Nothing but perverts and the occasional asshat.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Kimimaro146 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hotdog down a skag den, y'know what I'm sayin'?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]PghDrake 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Best. Answer. Here.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]zegleipnier I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE 64 points 65 points 66 points 9 years ago (4 children)

I have a question for Mr Perfect! (That's you, baby)

Some.... people have spread rumors that you worked as a low level programmer at Hyperion.

If the rumor is true, what was your role in the company, and how did it help become so damn handsome?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 127 points 128 points 129 points 9 years ago (3 children)

I definitely did. Not ashamed of it. Learned a lot. Hacked a lot of servers, got a lot of good juicy stuff on the board of directors. Watched a lot of porn on company bandwidth.

The best way to get outta that role, though, is to illegally commandeer a satellite and get evidence justifying your hunch that Pandora is a goddamn Eridium motherlode. I tell that to all my proteges. Just do that.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Brb, commandeering a satellite.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Valdrax Numbers, numbers, math-math-math. 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What products did you work on?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]zegleipnier I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack-Senpai noticed me! My only wish is to live up to these expectations... I shall dedicate my time to getting you that motherlode, or die trying

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Blazur Sup 111 points 112 points 113 points 9 years ago (5 children)

Hey H.Jack, I just want you to know that in the future I'm going to be the guy that kills you and foils all your plans. What do you have to say about that?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 340 points 341 points 342 points 9 years ago (4 children)

Nothing, apart from the vaguely orgasmic grunts I'll be making as I crush your windpipe with my thumbs. And I guess the "oh wow, you're the best" noises your loved ones will be making as they cheer me on. And the sloppy, wet sound of me subsequently making out with your loved ones. And the sloppy, wet sound of me subsequently killing your loved ones.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Blazur Sup 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Of course you know this means war.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]sasquatch85 24 points 25 points 26 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Wet. Sloppy. War.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Jimm607 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jokes on you -- I don't have any loved ones.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I guess you enjoy sloppy, wet sounds.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]groovyskillz 84 points 85 points 86 points 9 years ago (8 children)

So, is Handsome legally part of your name? Or is it a title, like Doctor, or Professor? If So, would you kindly 'Handsome' me please?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 241 points 242 points 243 points 9 years ago (5 children)

I don't respond to people who use BioShock references on me. BioShock was

[TRANSMISSION INTERCEPTED REWRITING MESSAGE TEXT]

BIOSHOCK IS A QUALITY PRODUCT BY 2K GAMES REALLY THE ENTIRE SERIES FROM BIOSHOCK TO BIOSHOCK 2 TO BIOSHOCK INFINITE TO THE RECENTLY ANNOUNCED BIOSHOCK ON THE IPAD ARE ALL QUALITY EXPERIENCES AND SHOULD BE A PART OF ANY TRUE GAMER'S COLLECTION

"WOULD YOU KINDLY" CATCH BIOSHOCK FEVER HA HA HA HA

But that's just my opinion, so whatever.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]One_more_page Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 35 points 36 points 37 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Why is Torgue here promoting Bioshock?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]MMX2 15 points 16 points 17 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I want this to be canon now.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]One_more_page Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

In Head-canon everything you want can be true.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Daenyrig 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (0 children)

"Would you kindly" use your skills as a programmer to remove the marketing virus that garbled your message?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]aido727 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Well that was an official cross over of weirdness...

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]QQStkl 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I think you have the wrong Jack. "Would you kindly" won't work on this one. Nice try though!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]groovyskillz 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Entirely unintentional but hey you don't know if you don't try!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Stead 82 points 83 points 84 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Do you like my Tattoo? :p

www.tickld.com/pic/t/974265

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 162 points 163 points 164 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Yes. Now get a mirrored one on your other leg so they can kiss.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago* (3 children)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 159 points 160 points 161 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Aw, you're cute.

Nah.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago* (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]Riantiada 29 points 30 points 31 points 9 years ago (2 children)

what haircare regimen would you recommend to make one's hair strong enough to strangle people with?

for science, you know. or whatever.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 66 points 67 points 68 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Well, there's something I didn't know I was into until 30 seconds ago.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Riantiada 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

;)

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]KarmaBear184 26 points 27 points 28 points 9 years ago (1 child)

What makes you the biggest badass?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 60 points 61 points 62 points 9 years ago (0 children)

My refusal to give direct answers to questions.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (2 children)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 55 points 56 points 57 points 9 years ago (1 child)

It was about all of us.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]Taskhill 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (0 children)

mind...blown. I think you just completely changed my world view

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 73 points 74 points 75 points 9 years ago (4 children)

Does slag run thru your veins?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 173 points 174 points 175 points 9 years ago (3 children)

If by "slag" you mean "a cocktail of coffee, hard drugs and some bandit saliva thanks to that one time I left my turbolimo for eight seconds on a quick visit to Pandora" then yeah, sure, slag.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]SableHAWKXIII 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (1 child)

But Jack! Are you saying you condone the use of controlled substances? (I mean bandit saliva?!! What the hell man) Think of the children!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

> Think of the children!

How do you think he got the saliva?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]DorkJedi What? Like anal? 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (0 children)

We now have the recipe for slag.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AshuraVonXacto 25 points 26 points 27 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Any advice on killing a man with a spoon?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 68 points 69 points 70 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Wear goggles.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]dabrules 88 points 89 points 90 points 9 years ago (9 children)

Where the hell do you buy a diamond horse?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 283 points 284 points 285 points 9 years ago (3 children)

If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]oniiesu(360) 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Listen, I don't care about affording it. A man sees what he wants; a man TAKES what he wants, by any means necessary. I assume diamond ponies wouldn't be affected by fire, so point me in the right direction and I will test my theory as soon as I get there.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Reminds me of the $1000000000000000000000000000000000 laptop.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]SirPutts-a-lot 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (1 child)

*Pony

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]vestby 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Butt stallion*

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]XaviusGaming 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (2 children)

The same place you can get a ZJ

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]byehiday 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (1 child)

ohh whats a zj?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]XaviusGaming 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you have to ask, big man, you can't afford it.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ashhhhjx 22 points 23 points 24 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Would you say strangulation is something you do to get a job done or is it an underlying kink as well?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 53 points 54 points 55 points 9 years ago (0 children)

"Or" is an interesting word to use.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]inhaikuispeak 64 points 65 points 66 points 9 years ago (5 children)

     When are we going
     To get Borderlands: Handsome
     Jack is a Badass

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 127 points 128 points 129 points 9 years ago (3 children)

I pitched that as the subtitle for Pre-Sequel, but nobody goddamn listens to me.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]MadModderX 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

People can't listen when they're dead Jack...

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I'll be willing to donate some ammunition.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]mandalorkael 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I'd pay so much money for that game.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]roses269 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I read this in Z3r0's voice.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HeeroJay twitch.tv/heerojay 20 points 21 points 22 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Jack, love your company.

More of a personal dilemma here regarding The Pre-Sequel. All my friends plan on getting it on Xbox 360, but I'm more of a PC guy (owning both, I like the mouse and keyboard experience better). Current budget concerns will sadly only allow me to purchase one copy.

You seem like the kind of guy that would do what's best for him regardless of the people around him, but should I get the 360 version to play with friends, or the PC version to enjoy my own way myself?

Thanks.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 67 points 68 points 69 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Depends on how much you like your friends. I've never been close enough with anyone to justify using a stupid controller over the fine-tuned precision of a mouse and keyboard, but hey, if you wanna live your life by making compromises, you can totally do that.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Jomy582 I heard there was Anarchy 22 points 23 points 24 points 9 years ago (1 child)

....Handsome Jack confirmed glorious leader of /r/pcmasterrace?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 18 points 19 points 20 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I hear you like women in cowboy hats... how do you feel about whips? ;)

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 53 points 54 points 55 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Yep. This is all working for me.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]kitttykatz This jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 21 points 22 points 23 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Of these, which is your preferred Brad Pitt film and why?

- Se7en

- Fight Club

- Inglorious Basterds

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 55 points 56 points 57 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Fight Club. I model most of my life off his abs.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]datlinus 37 points 38 points 39 points 9 years ago (3 children)

what's your opinion on Anthony Burch?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 105 points 106 points 107 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Brown.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 19 points 20 points 21 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So deep. Much succinct. Very color.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Whiskey_Shivers Man Killer 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Your Netflix is in the mail

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Renzocooken 21 points 22 points 23 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Jack, I want to be a big damn hero just like you. Any tips?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 53 points 54 points 55 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

-Kill bad guys

-Use conditioner

-Actually that's it

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]detroitdecay 19 points 20 points 21 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Drugs or Murder?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 68 points 69 points 70 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Murder.

Drugs are illegal.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]mrmccarthy90 19 points 20 points 21 points 9 years ago (1 child)

What is the air velocity of an unladen swallow?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 37 points 38 points 39 points 9 years ago (0 children)

God.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]NotSoCoolWhip 56 points 57 points 58 points 9 years ago (8 children)

Hello. I have been playing the Borderlands series for a while now and I would like to say thank you for making my favorite game series of all time. My question is: I see lots of allusions to homosexuality and same sex marriage, and I was wondering, is same sex marriage legal on Pandora?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 157 points 158 points 159 points 9 years ago (6 children)

Yeah. What, it's not legal where you come from?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 14 points 15 points 16 points 9 years ago (1 child)

And you thought Pandora was bad!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 20 points 21 points 22 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Everyone is equally slaughtered on Pandora!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]NotSoCoolWhip 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Some places just aren't as nice as pandora I guess

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]DigbyMayor Shoot Goiaths in the brain, then they go insane. Wut. Wut. 16 points 17 points 18 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I think this is the nicest answer here.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

The funny thing is it sort of puts it in perspective.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]camelCasing I AM THE GOD OF DAMAGE! 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Our world is pretty primitive sometimes.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Ranstafle Nailed It! 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You say that like Pandora has laws

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]likwidstylez All The Pain!!! 54 points 55 points 56 points 9 years ago (9 children)

How awesome was it to steal Moxxi away from that loser Mordecai?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 205 points 206 points 207 points 9 years ago (8 children)

Ah, man. So good. He was crying, right? But he's got those goggle things. So they actually filled up with tears and he had to take em off for a second and splooosh, all these tears just dumped out at the same time like two little buckets of pathetic sadness.

What a baby. Glad his bird's dead.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]DigbyMayor Shoot Goiaths in the brain, then they go insane. Wut. Wut. 70 points 71 points 72 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Your timelines are fucked up.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Hellz_Blazer 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Big talk, for someone who is also dead.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey now. At most points is the timeline of reality, you're dead. In fact, I'd say at pretty much all of them. What matters is the number of asses we kicked, how hard, and with how much goddamned style, because THAT is the road to immortality.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AustinPowersFarscher 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You don't think that the freaking CEO of Hyperion would be hooked up to their own reconstructive system? Silly man

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]freemustard this is one of them moments 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (1 child)

WHERE DOES THIS AMA TAKE PLACE IN THE TIMELINE

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]fourdots 14 points 15 points 16 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Whenever is funniest at the moment.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]theblackfool 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Ouch.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]johnsciarrino 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

splooosh AMA over.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]gio1087 18 points 19 points 20 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Whats your favorite place in Borderlands?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 48 points 49 points 50 points 9 years ago (1 child)

My turbomansion. There's a swimming pool roughly the size of an eighty-three person orgy.

Well, eighty-two. One of the dudes left halfway through when we made eye contact for too long.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AprilMari 17 points 18 points 19 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Hey, Handsome Jack! First & foremost, I have to say that you are absolutely brilliant & I love you to pieces.

Question, what is your bed time routine? The public needs to know so they can follow suit & attempt to look as flawless as you.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 44 points 45 points 46 points 9 years ago (1 child)

- Remove mask
- Make out with Nisha for an hour
- Stuff gets graphic
- Shower
- Second shower
- Antibacterial rinse
- Sleep

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AprilMari 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Two showers & a antibacterial rinse? Goddamn. Murdering people plus sexy time with Nisha is a good enough excuse for all of that.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 20 points 21 points 22 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Did Moxxi ever try to take you home to meet her family? If so, I'm sorry.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 50 points 51 points 52 points 9 years ago (0 children)

No, we were on pretty clear terms about not meeting the others' family. Which probably saved me a skin disease, and her a really violent and sudden death.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]FuzzBall87 18 points 19 points 20 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I heard a rumor that when you were a teenager, you were actually "Ugly Jack," but as you had a face lift to become "Handsome Jack," is that true?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 60 points 61 points 62 points 9 years ago (0 children)

No. That didn't happen. Definitely did not happen. That is a thing you made up and you didn't hear it from anyone and it's made up. You asshole. I'm tracking your IP now.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 56 points 57 points 58 points 9 years ago (4 children)

When you killed Roland, how the he'll did your first shot even hit him? And how did it just ignore his shield?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 162 points 163 points 164 points 9 years ago (3 children)

My gun is super sick.

Also I lost it between killing Roland and waking the Warrior.

Also shut up.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]DANNYonPC 12 points 13 points 14 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Myth goes, that some silly vaulthunter is still searching for Handsome glorious Jack's Gun

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]shibbypwn 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Roland doesn't know how health gating works

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[+]LordofShit comment score below threshold-6 points-5 points-4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

[–]Delta_Plus 16 points 17 points 18 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Where exactly are you while guiding your vault hunting heroes on their noble quest to save the world?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 37 points 38 points 39 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Turbomansion.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Delta_Plus 5 points 6 points 7 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I should have known

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Born2Hula91 16 points 17 points 18 points 9 years ago (1 child)

What would you say to someone who prefers Jakobs over Hyperion weapons?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 63 points 64 points 65 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What'd you think of this latest season of Big Bang Theory?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]halo_dudette 16 points 17 points 18 points 9 years ago (1 child)

If you're in the market for a new personal assistant, I promise I'd bring you the best pretzels ever. Or the best of whatever you want. Running a corporation is a lot like being a king, so why settle for less?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 31 points 32 points 33 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I like the way you think. Bring me some hot chocolate, and two replacement assistants just in case it isn't the perfect temperature when I sip it.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 18 points 19 points 20 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Are there any songs in particular you like to strangle to?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 45 points 46 points 47 points 9 years ago (1 child)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I honestly don't know why I'm surprised you like Taylor Swift.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Necrorider 47 points 48 points 49 points 9 years ago* (3 children)

Your favorite dick joke?

Edit: And no, your own is not an acceptable answer

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 158 points 159 points 160 points 9 years ago (0 children)

"The person who asked me this question"

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]thewalex Hyperion Science Divsion Rookie 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (1 child)

This is also a great dick joke!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]cybersteel8 Hotdog down a skag den, know what I'm sayin'? 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Holy shit that is funny.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Everton1992 15 points 16 points 17 points 9 years ago (1 child)

What do you think of the most charismatic character is claptrap?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 61 points 62 points 63 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

I'm really glad that sentence was as grammatically screwed up as it was, because if you were going to unironically use the words "claptrap" and "charismatic" in the same sentence I would have jumped through my monitor and stuck my fist so far up your nose I could karate chop your brain.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]spectralconfetti 16 points 17 points 18 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Any wizard problems on Elpis?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 37 points 38 points 39 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Only one.

He is the worst.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]innerGaara Xbox 360 16 points 17 points 18 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Least favorite vault hunter that isn't Roland?! Go!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 42 points 43 points 44 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Brick. He made the most annoying blubbering noise when Nisha killed his dog.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 15 points 16 points 17 points 9 years ago (2 children)

What's your hidden talent?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 46 points 47 points 48 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Answering dumb getting-to-know-you questions in a way that completely quashes any attempt for followup conversation.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]One_more_page Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

And how often does that skill come up on a day-to-day basis?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]0verload6 15 points 16 points 17 points 9 years ago (1 child)

After finishing the Moonbase, whats your plan to deal with the town of Ovejas, and more importantly, the immortal god-like being that protects it, Salvador?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 33 points 34 points 35 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Oh, gee, maybe I'll open negotiations with them and try to come to a peaceful concpfffffff

I'm gonna burn it to cinders from space, you doofus.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 15 points 16 points 17 points 9 years ago (1 child)

whats some life advice you would give a young man thats unsure what to do in life ?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 41 points 42 points 43 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Start buying expensive clothes and pretend you know what you're doing.

And stop watching porn.

And buy Hyperion guns.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mugikun 14 points 15 points 16 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Pirates or Ninjas?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 49 points 50 points 51 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Whichever one is better at killing people who speak entirely in internet memes.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]jhanjria 17 points 18 points 19 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Did you ever want to be a vault hunter, when you were young maybe?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 39 points 40 points 41 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Nah. When I was a kid, Vault Hunters were a weird thing your parents warned you about becoming. Like, "go to school, or you'll become a Vault Hunter just running around begging for money and ammo." "Do your chores, or you'll be out on the street demanding your loot fix." "Don't try to kill your grandmother while she sleeps." Just crap like that.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Greyfox643 I need it dead in 1 shot or less 16 points 17 points 18 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Your transition from a Hyperion employee to The Savior of Pandora was a bit shocking to say the least. If you could do it all over again, what would you have changed about your Rise to Power and Handsomeness?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 39 points 40 points 41 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Wouldn't have used Claptrap as a bodyguard. Would have killed Roland and Lilith the second I met them.

Would have stopped watching porn way earlier.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Bastilon 60 points 61 points 62 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Holy nutballs! What happened to your frickin' face?!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 142 points 143 points 144 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Oh, we're -- we're doing a thing where you say things. That I said.

To me.

That's...that's cute.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 19 points 20 points 21 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Too bad for Bastilon, on Elpis it also gets you killed.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]loonyduck1 I could wait for you to finish talking... 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Godammit is Nisha runnin that place now along with killing everyone?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HallowedVileplume"Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now..?" 15 points 16 points 17 points 9 years ago (1 child)

What is your favorite Hyperion weapon, if you had to choose?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 37 points 38 points 39 points 9 years ago (0 children)

My abs.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ManOWar57 30 points 31 points 32 points 9 years ago (1 child)

What's your opinion on bands like "Cage the Elephant" or "The Heavy?"

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 49 points 50 points 51 points 9 years ago (0 children)

They aren't Taylor Swift, so not super interested.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]nicknamekb 12 points 13 points 14 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Where were you during the events of the first borderlands?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 34 points 35 points 36 points 9 years ago (0 children)

My desk. With my second monitor tuned to the satellite I launched at Pandora.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Dannerz 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (2 children)

What is you middle name?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 48 points 49 points 50 points 9 years ago (1 child)

"Newustationsarentcanon"

It's German.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why even have a middle name if it's not going to be referenced in every day conversation? Just for aesthetics? Pah.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]CarefullyFalling 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I literally made an account just for this. Hi! As for my question, what do you like on sandwiches?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 28 points 29 points 30 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I'm a simple man. Bologna, cheese and diamond dust.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]take_it_in_strider SMOKIN JESUS TITTY CINNAMON THAT THING IS A MONSTARRRRR 52 points 53 points 54 points 9 years ago (4 children)

For the love of Christ, why does it take Hyperion weapons an entire clip just to aim correctly?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 134 points 135 points 136 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Better question: why are you so goddamn impatient that you think the world needs to give you exactly what you want right this second?

Maybe stop and smell the goddamn flowers and appreciate the goddamn headshots when they goddamn come.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]take_it_in_strider SMOKIN JESUS TITTY CINNAMON THAT THING IS A MONSTARRRRR 22 points 23 points 24 points 9 years ago (1 child)

That's what I get for not using a Jakobs.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]DigbyMayor Shoot Goiaths in the brain, then they go insane. Wut. Wut. 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I AM NOT WITH HIM!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Well, Jack.. Come on.. I can't wait forever to shoot someone. When they are coming at me with a buzzaxe.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]rocketboy287 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Have you ever considered fighting with the vault hunters instead of trying to kill them?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 27 points 28 points 29 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You're stupid.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Namnamex 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Who gave you the most enjoyment when you watched them die?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 27 points 28 points 29 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You, a couple hours from now.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Chaogod2369 36 points 37 points 38 points 9 years ago (7 children)

Who would you cast to play as you in a movie about you?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 103 points 104 points 105 points 9 years ago (6 children)

Dameon Clarke.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Namnamex 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (4 children)

Do you really think that he is handsome enough?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Reamofqtips 16 points 17 points 18 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Who cares? Have you heard the guys voice? It's like cherubs having sex.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (2 children)

... You've heard this before?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Reamofqtips 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I can neither confirm nor deny.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Too suspicious.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Good choice.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Aku230 34 points 35 points 36 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Why Europe and Australia have to wait longer to play your great game?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 104 points 105 points 106 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Imperialism.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 67 points 68 points 69 points 9 years ago (0 children)

"Come here so I can throw you at intruders"

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Be honest... did you program the malware into vaulthunter.exe for laughs?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

IT'S NOT MALWARE IT'S A FEATURE.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]B_For_Dyslexia 31 points 32 points 33 points 9 years ago (2 children)

How is Butt Stallion doing?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 116 points 117 points 118 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Dead.

Nah, just kidding. Wanted to see the people who run the wiki freak out for a second.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (0 children)

rolls back over-eager edit cascade

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (2 children)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 66 points 67 points 68 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Oh.

Oh, okay.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]Sean_Wolf 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (2 children)

What would be your dream weapon to kill the vault hunters with?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 31 points 32 points 33 points 9 years ago (1 child)

My thumbs.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (0 children)

The Mountain is strong with this one.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 31 points 32 points 33 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What, like where she's buried?

No.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]dreamingsilence 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Why call yourself Jack? Isnt your name John?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 26 points 27 points 28 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Pretty weird that internet searches exist, huh? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_(given_name)

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]dreamingsilence 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You should have a word with Wikipedia. They don't seem to list you as a notable person with the given name Jack.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Loqol 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (4 children)

Just noticed you mentioned Taylor Swift.

How frustrated were you the first time "Shake it Off" got stuck in your head?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Frustrated? Why would anyone be frustrated? It's just music.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 46 points 47 points 48 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Just music?

I hope your family abandons you.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Woah man, you're getting the wrong idea. I LOVE Taylor Swift, to the point that I will sacrifice my first child in order to keep her pumping out albums.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Loqol 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

An ear worm that takes hold better than a wormhole thresher, that is why.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]trebor2point0 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Hey Handsome! Do you think you look more like your mom or dad?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 36 points 37 points 38 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Mom, I guess? Don't really have a frame of reference for my dad.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Ikealtea 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I was just wondering, you sent your CL4P-TP bot out to a frozen wasteland to clear bodies after train explosions. Does this mean you have done this before? And if so, how much of Hyperion's money have you recklessly spent on kamikaze trains?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HelixDnB 19 points 20 points 21 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Have you ever used Butt Stallion for Polo?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 58 points 59 points 60 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I tried once, but she kindasorta bucked me off and tried to stab me with her horns. You know what's some real bull? When you buy a diamond pony and the thing doesn't even like being enslaved and ridden.

Like what

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Jarl__Ballin Critical, bitch! 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I hate when that happens.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 20 points 21 points 22 points 9 years ago (1 child)

What happened to you to make you so insanely violent?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 53 points 54 points 55 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Starts with "P", ends with "-andora."

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 18 points 19 points 20 points 9 years ago (4 children)

What's your last name, anyway?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 75 points 76 points 77 points 9 years ago (3 children)

No, it's not "anyway."

Hahahaha.

Screw you, I can make dad jokes.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]KaiserBear My Siren's name is Brick, and she is the prettiest. 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

To be fair, you -are- a dad.

Well...... were.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Damn it! And here I was being so careful!

(I have this headcanon where your last name is Polish, so until further notice you're going to be Polish... congratulations :P)

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack Kowalski

Definitely sounds like a 1930's gang leader.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TheBetasaur Requesting Salute Support 18 points 19 points 20 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Are you hiring?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 43 points 44 points 45 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Always. If you've got a face that can absorb at least one bullet, there'll always be a spot for you on the Hyperion team.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]SirCabbage 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey, it is possible to sign up for that job only after the warrior has been killed at least 2-3 times? Also i'd love to be stationed somewhere nice, like a prison that most people seem to miss even exploring! That'd be awesome, how does one pick up a gig like that?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 16 points 17 points 18 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Why would Moxxi cheat on someone like you? You're a catch and a half! ;)

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 49 points 50 points 51 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Look at you, flirting up a storm. Keep it up, I may reconsider killing ya.

Nah, I'm not gonna reconsider that. But we're having fun. It's fun.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Moxxi straight up dumped him. Her loss. I mean, seriously? You don't dump Handsome Jack. She probably did it by text, too. What a bitch.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Meh, I hope she enjoys her life scarfing down hamburgers for cash :P

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]BeardedFella 19 points 20 points 21 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Pew Pew or Bang Bang?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 51 points 52 points 53 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Bang Bang. "Pew Pew" is an internet meme.

We all know how I feel about internet memes.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 17 points 18 points 19 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is your thought on the ever growing space cowboy fad that is ruining Pandora's economic system and putting the planet in a damn near recession because everyone is starting to quit their jobs, arming themselves to the teeth, and going around looking for mythological vaults like my Aunt Judith looking for a tortilla chip in one of her fat folds. IT'S NOT THERE JUDY, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU LOOK THE CHIP HAS GONE AWOL AND WILL NEVER RETURN...

Sorry, got a little carried away there.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (0 children)

1. Conference Call, Interfacer or Butcher?
2. Why did you decide to get rid of the red color scheme that Hyperion guns used to have?
3. Did you design Saturn and if yes, how did you come up with the name "Saturn"?
4. Why did Hyperion stop making assault rifles and rocket launchers?
5. Have you ever considered making acid-resistant loaders in order to combat their main weakness?
6. What do you think of the arena battles that Captain Cabrera runs in the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]schaef87 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (1 child)

What is your favorite breakfast food?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 24 points 25 points 26 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Protein shake. With two raw eggs cracked into it. Then an Insanity video.

I like Shaun T's style.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]ChikenWing27 14 points 15 points 16 points 9 years ago (1 child)

What is the best hair care product for a horse? You must know because butt stallion has beautiful luscious hair

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 45 points 46 points 47 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Windex

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]GruntOfAction 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Two questions:

1) Why are you so damn handsome?

2) (Will we be able to play as you in a future DLC in the Presequel? :D )

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 40 points 41 points 42 points 9 years ago (0 children)

1. Because the universe rewards good and kind people.
2. Shut up, idiot.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What would jack do? Run at the enemies? Congrats we can play as Dr. Morbis now!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Nearokins 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Well, considering body double is confirmed dlc already

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 14 points 15 points 16 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Hi Jack, any secrets for climbing the corporate ladder you'd be willing to share for us aspiring executives? Not that I want to take your job or anything. Please don't strangle me.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 39 points 40 points 41 points 9 years ago (0 children)

The corporate ladder is for chumps. Use the corporate express elevator that runs on the blood of dead executives. It's way faster and you get to listen to sweet muzak.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Redwolfmoon99 F*CK THE LEGAL WAIVER! You're in TORGUE LAND now, sucker! 12 points 13 points 14 points 9 years ago (5 children)

Hey, you! Why are Hyperion guns such rubbish? Sure they may have above average stats some of the time, but their inaccuracy when first firing out of them makes me waste my first few bullets on aiming close to the enemy until the cone tightens. Yeah, nice slogan: "What use is a gun that does not shoot where you point? Get a gun that is as accurate as you are." What a load of bull! Your sniper rifles are absolutely useless as the sway makes them pretty much impossible to aim unless I wanted to wait an extra 2 seconds for it to stop swaying. The Fibber, supposedly Hyperion's newest innovation, would've been a much better gun if it was made by any other company. Hell I'll even take a Tediore Fibber!

- Sincerely, Raigen (Fed up with inferior Hyperion trash).

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 37 points 38 points 39 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Here are some tips to get the most out of Hyperion firearms:

- Suck less

- The loud end is supposed to point TOWARD your enemies

- Actually, nevermind

- Just put your face in front of the barrel

- Okay try it now

- It should work great

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]BEALLOJO Did that guy just speak in haiku? 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (0 children)

It would still miss the first 15 shots.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hyperion guns... they're great, but they're (thankfully!) not idiot proof. Saves you a hell of a lot of trouble later.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]hyperhiromu 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (1 child)

ooooohh, shots fired.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

But they keep missing until about the 4th or 5th.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Namatophobic Aiming? What is that? 4 points 5 points 6 points 9 years ago* (2 children)

Laser guns and Cryo guns don't seem to be popular at all on Pandora despite their use on Elpis. What happened?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]lynxSDMF 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (0 children)

read his twitter page and he explains it all

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

"Cryo runs on liquid methane that evaporates in most non-Elpis climates, and laser guns crumple thanks to Pandora’s atmospheric pressure."

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TypicalTyrian 19 points 20 points 21 points 9 years ago (1 child)

You bang Nisha?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 54 points 55 points 56 points 9 years ago (0 children)

"Bang" is an interesting choice of words, given that russian roulette is involved.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]loarfy 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (2 children)

what is your action skill

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 21 points 22 points 23 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Strangulation.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 12 points 13 points 14 points 9 years ago (1 child)

What's your favorite video game?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 33 points 34 points 35 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Diamond Mercenaries 2. I summon my buddies all the time just so I can shoot em in the back of the head.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago* (3 children)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 41 points 42 points 43 points 9 years ago (0 children)

No you can't, and no she didn't.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]EvilHuntz 15 points 16 points 17 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Did you ever expect Jack to get this popular?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 47 points 48 points 49 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Did I, Jack, expect me, Jack to get popular?

Yes. Because I actualize my goddamn goals.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]LegenWaitForIt_ 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Would you rather cut off your hair or not be able to strangle people?

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 38 points 39 points 40 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I got rich so I wouldn't have to make these kind of decisions.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 17 points 18 points 19 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Handsome Jack, my name is Eddy and I will do ANYTHING to be canon. What would you like? Pizza? Yours. Take over Pandora? I will work endlessly until it's yours. Kill Hitler? Way ahead of you. I even made it look like a suicide so it wouldn't be traced to you. Keep Hitler alive? Too late. Sorry. I won't do anything without your okay EVER again! What can I do to be borderlands canon!?!

- permalink
- embed
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 40 points 41 points 42 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I woulda made you canon if not for mentioning Hitler.

On Pandora, we had MegaRoboHitler. Your failure to know that is a shame you will have to bear for the rest of your life.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Samocoptor 7 points 8 points 9 points 9 years ago (0 children)

MegaRoboHitler confirmed for final Pre-Sequel boss.

- permalink
- embed
- save
- parent
- report

[–]shay1123 10 points 11 points 12 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Hey Handsome Jack. So glad you're with us from the afterlife.

How's Buttstallion holding up? Any word on finding some better pretzels?

Oh and sorry about Angel, she would have made a powerful ally to the Resistance, had you not pumped her full of Eridium like that.

Many <3's! Your favorite Vault Hunter, @Shayblez

Can't wait to play through the prequel!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 46 points 47 points 48 points 9 years ago (2 children)

You are actually my least favorite person.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]shay1123 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

No need to be so spiteful! I loved our little one on one chats while you tried to kill me all the time. They were rather sweet of you and an insight to the man you really are beneath that mask.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]shay1123 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Believe it or not, do you remember the guy you killed with spoons? The act itself disgusted me and made me hate you dearly, but your delivery of that event was a class act. I actually applaud you for that. curtsies gracefully

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mugikun 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Why don't you grow a full beard? Wouldn't that be manlier?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 41 points 42 points 43 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I don't know, do you define manliness by your ability to frighten away attractive women?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (1 child)

How does you pick up girls jack? Do you tell them about butt stallion? or what do you do?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 23 points 24 points 25 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I make eye contact.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]mutten006 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Do you plan on creating a line of Butt Stallions to create dominance over the luxury horse market?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 22 points 23 points 24 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Yes. That's phase two.

You're not classified to know about phase three.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]mutten006 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you thought of created diamond huskies? For the less temperate zones?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Alan150003 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Do you like Dragonball Z? I wonder what your favorite character would be... probably Cell.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 33 points 34 points 35 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Wrong. Bulma.

You idiot.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]XStreamGamer247 Have you met me? I look like a fist with hair stapled to it. 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

The dickish inventor, huh? Seems familiar.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]chaseon 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Heya Jack. Whatsup man?

On a scale of 1 - 10 how handsome are you?

Do you like my tattoo? http://i.imgur.com/n6Gj9av.jpg

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 25 points 26 points 27 points 9 years ago (2 children)

That tattoo isn't a picture of my face.

3/10.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]loarfy -4 points-3 points-2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

did you just rate yourself a three on the handsome scale

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]that4chanuser 12 points 13 points 14 points 9 years ago (5 children)

Will Handsome Jack show up in BL3?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 47 points 48 points 49 points 9 years ago (4 children)

I'm not gonna answer your question, I just thought it'd be funny to use this space to mention how I'm not gonna reply to hyperionmoonbase's question.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]hyperionmoonbase 20 points 21 points 22 points 9 years ago (3 children)

...oh

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Get handsomely rekt, m8.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]hyperionmoonbase 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Well, at least this sorta-kinda-canonically means Handsome Jack recognizes I exist, which is a wonderful (and also life-threatening) thing!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Shouldn't you be sending me a Fast-Travel station right about now?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]thestarlessconcord 13 points 14 points 15 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Where the hell did ou even get buttstallion from, i mean, what company even sells diamond horses/ponys.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 34 points 35 points 36 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Stop asking this question or I will make literally every person's computer explode.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Make me.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (5 children)

[deleted]

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 85 points 86 points 87 points 9 years ago (3 children)

No. I may kill a lot of people, but I'm not a goddamn turd.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 12 points 13 points 14 points 9 years ago (1 child)

This is absolutely the finest response of a cornucopic trove of fine responses. Next time I find myself in the Warrior's Vault I'm just gonna huck myself into the lava and then delete the save out of respect for what a class act you really are.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]DigbyMayor Shoot Goiaths in the brain, then they go insane. Wut. Wut. 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Ssssshhh... He doesn't know the future like us...

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]EnasniVolz Miss me, Sugar? 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What, NOW you show some class?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Recke89 12 points 13 points 14 points 9 years ago (3 children)

Hey Jack, big fan, you're gorgeous by the way

My question is, if Hyperion was out to kill the vault hunters so badly, why did Hyperion allow the vault hunters to use the, "New-U" stations?

Thanks for doing this, toodles!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 44 points 45 points 46 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Oh, look! It's the best first sentence to a question followed by the worst possible second sentence. I guess I'll give you a million dollars before I burn your house down with you in it? That'd be appropriate.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Capitalism, duh!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AxeWorld NOW BLOW UP THE OCEAN!!! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

To afford better pretzels! DUH!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]BordersRanger01 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So how old are you exactly ?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]loarfy 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

what happened to angel's mom? if you're up to talking about it, i mean

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HyperionHottie69 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

what drew you to nisha? her good looks? her bloodlust?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]CloudStrife159 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I'm sure Handsome Jack isn't Smelly Jack -- What scent is your cologne?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hola Jack, wouldn't it be kinda cool if some dudes made a game where you are the villain? In my mind you'd be kinda like Darth Vader but 15x funnier, 200x more ruthless and without some weirdish mask that cover that handsome face. But of course the "heroes" make it all the way to your inner chambers and you shoot them in the skulls, THE END. Can't you make it happen?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Wanna go out for some meilkshakes?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Senhorze 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack, First time dad here. Do you have any tips about parenting?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]VexedEgo 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So I recently purchased a diamond horse of my own and have noticed certain... errr problems with her. Has Buttstallion been getting into your eridium stash and leaving... ummm..... weapons as droppings? I find my horse keeps getting into my stash of eridium. Or are you just going to kill me because I have a stash of eridium?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (3 children)

[removed]

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 20 points 21 points 22 points 9 years ago (1 child)

A shovel and a flashlight, for starters.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I hate you.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hello Mr. Jack,

Since you mentioned it. What is your opinion on Taylor Swift?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 6 points 7 points 8 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Are Moxxi's tits real?

Slightly related: Is she into butt-stuff?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]qwertytarr 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you and Mr. Torgue ever been boogie boarding? Don't lie, it's unbecoming.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]LunarFalcon 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I guess that this is a two part question.

1: What is the average day like in your life at Hyperion?

2: How will you be combating the Vault Hunter menace currently threatening Pandora? I've heard some incredibly alarming news about baby eating being committed by these villains on Hyperion Truth Broadcasting and I fear for my family.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]theicedragoona 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

Hi Handsome Jack! Looking good! Thanks for doing an ama!

Where do I sign up to help torture people - I mean, experiment with slag?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Bam-BamBoyles 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

whats your favorite way to kill a savage?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Lord21K 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, what's your favourite ice cream flavour and why?

Also, you are my favourite villain of all time. I love you.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TedioreTony 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dearest Jack I was just wondering how come when I throw your Hyperion guns they just bop my foes in the face then lay on the ground useless? I don't even get a new digi-structed gun... I really don't understand.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]kitttykatz This jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Marry, bang, kill:

- Ellie

- Athena

- Lilith

See what I did there?! You thought I'd be all Moxxi and Nisha and stuff. But no! Too easy. You're not stupid, you're advanced.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Lemnis 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Would these pretzels suffice? http://imgur.com/qI5Mxo0

Also please don't kill me.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]WebHead1287 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So ever since you told me to jump off that cliff and I did my friends have been calling me a bitch. Can you make them stop?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]kitttykatz This jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You mentioned that you're involved with branding. So you help name Hyperion-manufactured weapons, right? The naming of your guns has always been a favorite -- so consistent and determinedly corporate.

As example, I love the name Concerence Call, especially with its tagline "Let's just ping everyone all at once." Too perfect.

Do you have any favorites?

And did you like any names that were left on the editing room floor?

Oh, and do you run focus groups? Can't imagine that's fun.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]JakeStone98 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why is it that you were able to obtain an alien key with the power to awaken a giant lava monster, yet you cannot get a good bag of pretzels?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Snowskeeper 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Y'know, I understand not wanting to admit Jakobs has good guns, but why not just assassinate their CEO, take over the company, and make a line of Hyperion guns that are just Jakobs guns with a Hyperion paint-job? That way you could make money off of both extremes: low damage, low rate of fire and low accuracy for your Hyperion guns, and high damage, high rate of fire and high accuracy for your totally-not-Jakobs guns!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Zijien We'll all go together! 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Whisky?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]theBoxy_Butcher 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (2 children)

I just want to say that I am truly sorry about your daughter. She seemed like a pretty nice gal. How are you coping with her passing? Do you need a hug?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Loqol 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I think we all learned that getting within arms reach of Jack is a dangerous idea.

Then again, range isn't going to be much safer.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]theBoxy_Butcher 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Even a super-villain.... I mean, the world's most powerful man! Even the world's most powerful man need a hug every now and then. But point taken!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Scaket 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your favourite element and why is it explosive?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]hyperionmoonbase 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dear Mr. Jack, I tweeted you about a month ago, and you did not respond. Needless to say, I found myself hurt and confused. What do you have to say for yourself?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]zoson 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why did claptrap lie to us about not being able to climb stairs?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Valdrax Numbers, numbers, math-math-math. 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (2 children)

How did you, as a lowly programmer, get the budget for hiring four Vault Hunters, running a satellite, and taking care of Angel?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]deltax20a 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Mobile game clones?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

He was blackmailing and manipulating his way to the top of Hyperion the whole time. He had plenty of ways to get what he wanted. Plus, you don't hire a Vault Hunter. You tell them about the Vault, they hunt for it. They buy your guns, and pay you for respawns when they die. Hell, they might even unintentionally off someone you don't like.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]The_Rocker_Mack 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is your favorite gun manufacturer?

Also, on Pandora, if you were trying to kill the Vault Hunters, why did you not shut down the Hyperion ran spawn stations? Seeing as how you run Hyperion and all...

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]SableHAWKXIII 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (4 children)

Why did the pre-sequel come out so FAST? I feel like we waited longer for BL1 DLC then we did for the pre-sequel!

Secondly, what is Claptrap gonna do about the STAIRS?!! Are there no stairs on the moon?!!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]BordersRanger01 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (3 children)

it's been two years since Borderlands 2

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]cybersteel8 Hotdog down a skag den, know what I'm sayin'? 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Exactly. That's not very long.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]BordersRanger01 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Borderlands 1 and 2 were only 2 or 3 years apart.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]cybersteel8 Hotdog down a skag den, know what I'm sayin'? 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Yet, the last piece of extra content for BL2 was released so recently. It's lifecycle was barely worn off. The 3 years between BL1 and BL2 feel heaps longer than the time between BL2 and BLTPS.

I personally feel that if the next Borderlands game was left longer, they could do even more with the game. Though this isn't really the next Borderlands, so I guess I can't complain. There's high hopes for BL3 though.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]LunarFalcon 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack, how did you get to be so awesome? And how can we hope to be more awesome like you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]xereo 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you immortal?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Spider_Riviera WANT IT! NEED IT GOTTA HAVE IT! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack any chance you could tell us any info on your skill trees?

Love you even if you're a morally bankrupt, megalomaniac. xxx

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]FAK_THIS 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who is the best villain in the borderlands franchise, and why it's you?
Anyway, whats a good name for a diamond horse?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]jcghostrider94 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Handsome Jack. How does one become as handsome as you? What's the secret to Hyperion's success?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]groovyskillz 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Whats the key to corporate dominance?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]waveshock3r 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Solaire asks if you can praise it?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]SerialVandal 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I would love to run a awesome company and crush my enemies beneath my feet. Have any tips?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]nocleverusername190 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Handsome Jack, we're all gentlemen and ladies here so tell us...how was Moxxie?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]firelordUK 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

how does it feel to be the greatest Villain of all time?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Mugikun 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you are using a perfume, which one do you use? Or what do you smell like?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Sable17 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can I have your babies? :3

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]CalT2410 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So, Jack, what's your favorite legendary weapon on Pandora, including up coming ones in Pre-Sequel that you could maybe leak?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]pwaves13 Busted Moxxies girlie parts 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Any tips on how to make myself as handsome as you are? Also can I say hi to angel?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]psychosaur 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Any information on Sirens you care to share? Like, are they Sirens from Birth or dose something happen to them make them that way? I have a "friend" with a young daughter that has some funky blue tattoos and strange powers you may be interested in meeting ... for a price.

Also, care to dish out some dirt on the excutives that run Touge, Maliwan, Dahl, and Tediore corps? I've always imagined the Maliwan corp being headed up by someone like Steve Jobs.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]lightknight80"Want to hear the new dubstep song I wrote?" 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What did you have to do to keep boys away from Angel? She's so pretty that she looks like an angel and I bet she had a lot of guys asking her out and stuff.

Also do you prefer class or explosions with your alcohol?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]M4rt1nV 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Where'd you get the rather bad-ass jacket?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]JJacobi92 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you? Did she give you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]AxeWorld NOW BLOW UP THE OCEAN!!! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hyperion is obviously the BEST manufacturer. Not just gun manufacturer but... EVERYTHING MANUFACTURER! Which is the manufacturer that you hate the most. I friggin' hate DAHL. They don't know who they're dealing with.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Skynet380 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is your preferred method of genocide, and how did you get those perfect, piercing eyes?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]qSolar 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why do I get arrested if I lock girls up in my basement, but you get away with it?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you getting along with this guy Anthony that's transcribing for you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]lightningrod14 fuck skeletaurs 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your average morning routine like?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Taylor Swift?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]kukenster 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack, I need a new job. Do you hire?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]halo_dudette 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Would you ever consider getting married again?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Skinflap94 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey, Jack. Big fan here. You're my biggest role model and I want to be just like you! What are some good tips to becoming and living like such a badass such as yourself?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]ArchColossus 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I assume the Hyperion New U stations aren't so badly designed that they revive anyone EXCEPT for Hyperion employees. Could also be another body double. WHAT IF THE JACK WE KILLED WAS ANOTHER BODY DOUBLE. Borderlands the Post-Sequel Confirmed.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]miss_fidgit 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you like your pretzels crunchy, or soft? With cheese or without?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

Hey Jack (or would you prefer Your Handsomeness? I'm flexible.), big fan here and totally not kissing your ass to learn your secrets so that I can kill you in the future. I'm really looking forward to playing executing your will as Claptrap. It would really suck if something happened to him, he's annoying but he's good for comic relief and target practice. After everything on Elpis is said and done you didn't plan on, say, dropping him on a remote ice shelf to live among hundreds of the bodies of your slain enemies and be tortured by homicidal pyromaniac bandit pirates did you?

Cause that would suck.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you right handed, or left handed? (If you're ambidextrous, which is your preferred bandit choking hand? :P)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]El_Duderino_X 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why does your body double take much longer to kill in BL2 than you do? Also, he's better looking somehow.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Codkid036 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey jack!borderlands fan here!I was wondering how much of you'd we be seeing in the pre.-sequel?Also,can you tell us about any loot we'll be seeing?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ttfatfrokz 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's it like, being the most badass character in all of pandora?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]crez425 Look everyone, I'm dancing! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You were hilarious in BL2 and became my favorite video game villian. Why should I expect you to top that performance in the Pre-Sequel?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Obizues 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack, what was your job before you became a Programmer at Hyperion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Delta_Plus 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What plans if any do you have for pandora beyond finding vaults? Since it is you we are talking, there is no doubt you could easily turn pandora into a civilized planet, but would there be enough profit in turning a border planet?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Slutibartfast 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I still don't understand why you wanted to kill your grandmother... after getting all those flowers it was the last thing I wanted to do!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How'd you end up working for Hyperion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]cooler_sk 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How do you tend your beard?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]CaptainRipp 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your favorite band?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you had to share a beer with any of the Vault Hunters, who would it be and why them?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]rapman543 A watchful eye 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What do you think of your competitors? (Maliwan, Jakobs, Atlas, Torgue)

Also do you and Mr. Torgue ever hang out?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]deltax20a 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you and the Old Spice Guy were to get into a fight, who would win?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]SableHAWKXIII 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What kinda music does someone who sucks at playing violin and picking pretzels listen to?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MarcianTobay Beloved Code Dispenser 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey there, Jack. Which rival gun manufacturer do you respect the most and why? Which do you respect the least?

Would you describe it as a friendly rivalry where you all have strengths, or are they fool pretenders to the Hyperion throne?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]hyperionmoonbase 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hannibal Buress claims pretzels is the same. What say you, Jack?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Juiceisgreat 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why did you send Wilhelm "defend" your fake power core from the vault hunters? Aren't you two supposed to be friends?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Chronocidal_Maniac 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Everyone has a hobby. What are some things you like to do when you're not busy destroying your enemies?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Delta_Plus 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I heard you have a body double, there is no way he could contain your awesomeness but how's his since of humor?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who was your favorite vault hunter to mess with?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]CosmosMouse 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you were trapped in a pitch black room with Brick & Mr Torgue and neither could speak, how could you tell one from another.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TM0NEY46 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Did you ever meet General Knox before his death and the fall of Atlas?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]OrigamiTofu 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How's it feel having Claptrap being the reason why you lose/die? If not for that annoying little bot made by your company, thanks for that by the way, you might have actually had a chance.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Greyfox643 I need it dead in 1 shot or less 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

For those rare instances that you don't delegate the not-so-glamorous task of shooting a bandit in the face, what is your preferred firearm?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you were naked, unarmed and being chased by a berzerking Brick and you had two paths to go down to avoid him (Into the Caustic Caverns, or infected Liberia) which path would you take and why the fuck are you naked?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Matrix117 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

No question. Just stopping by to say that you are one of my most iconic video game villains of all time, up there with Andrew Ryan. Thanks for being such a deplorable, hypocritical egoist.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ichigonokaori 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why does your company keep reviving your enemies?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Delta_Plus 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

On a scale of 1 to you; how cool are the hyperion laser weapons?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Blazur Sup 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

H.Jack, why is your programming so buggy? I heard you once wrote an infinite loop that crashed Hyperion's mainframe. Don't you beta test this stuff?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ZombieSnake 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Heya Jack,

If you could recast yourself in any movie, which movie and role would you choose and why?

What's on Handsome Jack's workout playlist?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Aadrian1234 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack...You managed to kill off every CL4P-TP unit, except for the most annoying and obnoxious one. You really are an asshole

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]CubGeek 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, thanks for taking the time to share your insights with us! I'd like to ask about the issues with the various bots at Hyperion sites; namely that they seem to emit Thresher love pheremones (I suppose perhaps like Helena Pierce's Skag-pearl necklace?) that draws the wormy little buggers outta everywhere.

I don't feel safe going in to the construction site anymore, what with all those things popping up and wrapping a tentacle around the bots to all sides of me.

Any advice?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Mr.Jack

Have you really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]FoxyGrayson 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack, about your body double that'll be DLC. How close is it to the real thing?

Like, if the three of us were in a room together, and I had to shoot the fake to save the real Jack, what kind of sandwich should I make?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Vendris 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hello Jack,

Watch the chance of us that moved on to next / current gen consoles ever getting to enjoy the presequel on it?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]zeug666 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How long did it take to air out your office to get rid of those marker fumes?

We've seen that you are handy with a pistol, but is that your preferred weapon type? Do you have a favorite gun?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]xpc_absol 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What would you choose? Siren Powers, Or Willowtree weapon/armor mod abilities?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Hunzzer 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Tell me about your childhood.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

On a scale from 1-10, how badly do you want the shoot the president of Dahl Corporation in the face with a laser gun?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TheCrzy1 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So. How many eyeballs have you scooped out of eyesockets with a spoon?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]aformentionedPerogie 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack. Why has all footage of the moon have the vault hunters 5 lvls higher than the enemies? is the moon that treacherous or should we expect the same in our adventures

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]swiggyzoom 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (1 child)

you have a gun with one bullet, and you're locked in a room with claptrap and a psycho for 5 years. Who do you shoot??

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Stereoparallax 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Doesn't matter. In Borderlands one bullet won't kill anything.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]NewfyRevolt 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack why did you kill your own grandmother?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Psychoholick 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Which character are you gonna play when the pre-sequel releases?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Cyphron 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I know you take a lot of pride in being handsome, but I can't help but notice these weird, shiny, almost metallic patches around your face. Have you considered moisturizing?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]codemanjack 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your favorite memory?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]danypieman 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can we expect a Borderlands: The Prequel to come out for the xbox one or Ps4 in the future? Like maybe summer of 2015?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]BeardedFella 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you saving Pandora and Elpis from Dahl because you wanna be the one who gets to kill everyone and look like a hero?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What does your room look like? I'm asking for umm... research purposes :)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Zindae HE'S ON FIRE! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

Hey, Handsome Jack! You're the best. I've got two questions!

How do you come up with all the variations of your Loaders?

How do you go about styling your hair?

Actually, three questions. I'd also like to know how you feel about Mr. Blake as a person, being in Hyperion and all.

See you on Elpis!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So Anthony...err...Jack, how are you feeling today?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]dertydood 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Would you rather fight 1 bullymog sized skag, or 100 skag sized bullymogs?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Inchwood 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

LOST LEGION 4 LIFE

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MattSerj"I NEVER DIE" - Mordecai 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's one menacing plan you've always wanted to execute just never gotten the chance to?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]PraefectusDerp 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

were you planning on using The Warrior as a puppy at some point?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]PghDrake 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

2-Part question: What is your favorite weapon, and which is your favorite GUN?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Sirknightington 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

when did you start working at Hyperion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]QQStkl 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So, clearly you lived through the series of unfortunate and frankly ludicrous events that led to your downfall, or you wouldn't be currently wasting your invaluable time answering dumb questions from the likes of us plebeians. That being established, come Borderlands 3, when you inevitably team up with your former enemies to vanquish some even greater threat, exactly how many times do you plan to make ingenious attempts on your "allies'" lives as they unwittingly do your dirty work?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]jorgany 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack, I don't find you to be handsome. That is all.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]37the37th 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (1 child)

What is Jack short for?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

"John" apparently, considering these names have the same number of characters. I am going to scream.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Shemblis 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack you going to be a DLC character in the future or am I going to have to put on my Handsome Jack mask each time I play so I can pretend I am playing you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HongManChoi Steve is my spirit animal 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What would you say to someone who only uses Jakobs munitions? Have you ever tried to persuade Marcus into only selling Hyperion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]NeonIsPyro 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why didn't you just buy better pretzels?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]SUPAKAWAIIDESUMASTA 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What are your thoughts on pretzels?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DamagedDovakiin 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

Hey Jack do you know of why Hyperion stopped producing lasers after the whole thing on Elpis?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Favorite brand/type of coffee for those late-night coding sessions?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]chetoflep 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Forming cream or gel?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]SomeNorCalGuy 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Tell me Jack, did you love your mother? Do you think she loved you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Autarchk Hooooney ^^ 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Handsome Jack, this is Disaster Jack

Tell me what masterpiece you would create by choosing a classical music to play on your violin and combining it with the death metal of those bandits being killed by preferentially, Hyperion weaponry

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]captainjelly Don't call me child. 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Roughly how much hair product do you use in a single week?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Gadgetman914 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who does your hair?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Blazur Sup 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is this actually fun for you?!? (May be a rhetorical question)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What kind of music does our fearless leader rock out to in his office, I wonder? :)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]PhysicsBro 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack, if you would, for some reason, be on the surface of Pandora or, let's say, Elpis and you would have to fight some dudes, which action or skill or, let's call it, action-skill would you have/wish to have?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ke3bz 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why did those Pretzels suck so bad?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Houghbert meat bicycle anyone? 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

what do you think of Dameon Clarke?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you get help with putting on the mask? Or is it a one-man job?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]CheddahGief 100%Cheddah 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you have any nicknames that you like or do not like to be called?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]xarbero 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, i cannot help but wonder, with hyperion's superior weaponry, can't you combine them somehow with the weaponry the aliens provided in the first installment of this series? I mean for a man of your brilliance... i always seem to run out of ammo with hyperion weaponry.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ClarkTheShark94 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why did you hire those bandits to kill your grandmother?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]EnasniVolz Miss me, Sugar? 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, when will you admit that Angel needs 1) A Mother and 2) To be as far away from you as possible?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who is better in bed? Moxxi or Nisha?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]skyy_capt 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

What happened to s&s they made such better weapons than you.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Favorite tunes to listen to while you're on your path to galactic domination?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]coreycubed 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Be honest with me here - Spy's attempt at pretending to look like you with the Dapper Disguise. Flattering, or outright offensive?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

We all know you got relocated to Pandora/Elpis, but what planet are you ORIGINALLY from?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]KrystalShip 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Weapon of choice?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Narsuaq Nar-Zook[🍰] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Wait, didn't you die? You're just some new-u clone, aren't you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DuskOfDawn23 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What was your absolute favourite line / speech in Borderlands 2?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Stanium 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

hey jackie boy! what are your thoughts about dinosaurs? arent they cute to be set against some random vault hunters? (just saying)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Dr_Eastman 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How would you beat Mr. Torgue in a fist fight?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]rubsgs 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Ever thought about buying Deathtrap's design and using it instead loarders?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]incriminatory 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you had to give up all your fame fortune, and status, and start all over in a different career. What would you do :D?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]captainjelly Don't call me child. 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Mr. Jack..I'd..um..I've got something to say to you. I'm...in love with your daughter. Please don't get angry.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey jack. What is your thought on totally stupid girls stealing your invention for the science fair, taking all the credit, and then getting the credit they deserve when you're totally AWESOME and ORIGINAL idea makes them explode?

CHAOS FOREVER!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]CatAstrophy11 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you aware that I'm going to kill your stupid doppleganger over and over, have my friends teabag the corpse, and give him some ridiculously retarded name like HandsomeJack?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Whoopsht HNNNNGGGG 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you do birthdays?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]LoyalTemplar 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack! My girlfriends wanted me to ask you to marry her. Up for it?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]supergundam1 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

When did you start working at Hyperion? How was your first day?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Bam-BamBoyles 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If your so rich why'd you buy such stale pretzels?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TheOnlyMe Your face needs to be fixed, and I need a spleen... 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So, about the BNK-3R, how and in what way did it ever seem like a good idea to make it float in the air some times, easy to hit, when it might as well just have been firing mortars all the time and just destroying the Vault Hunters....unless you wanted Angel to die!!!

You bastard...you handsome bastard. That, and is the Bitch your favorite SMG?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]lynxSDMF 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is the story between you and Nisha? and Are you gonna actually come out and help the Vault Hunters or are you just the one delivering the ideas

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]jacob49 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who was your favorite person to kill ?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]PlayerSdk 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is your opinion on that Roland guy?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Ferusomnium 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack! You stole my fucking horse!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ExodusEquinox 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why did you put on that mask? Personally I think you look more badass with that mark on your face.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You are exactly right. You are better than me. That is why I am not below begging for some sorta sweet gun hookup for the new game. (Which I have so faithfully pre-ordered.)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]The_Vault_Hunter 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What does your mother think of Hyperion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]valkilor 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack, have you ever taken off your mask just so you can kiss yourself? <(0_0)>

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]RLazerbeam 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

Who gave you the name Handsome Jack?

EDIT: Nevermind.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Madfall Siconnors 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Did you make Hyperion all their money by supplying helmets and masks for Pandoran bandits? It seems like the overriding fashion equipment. And just how did you create those Goliaths?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]squirrelpanic 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can you do a Roland impersonation for me please?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

Hey Handsome, Big fan! Just a lowly sw engineer looking for some career advice...I feel we have a lot in common (if Lockheed were my Hyperion and Mars were my Pandora) but how do get that wonderful tunnel vision determination/full on crazy to become a good tyrant like you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Narsuaq Nar-Zook[🍰] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Yo Jacky, what's your favourite weapon?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]longjohnsmcgee 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I just can't get my hair to sit right. any tipd to have hair as perfect as yours?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]LeprosySucks 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So Jack. How did you get so badass?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Bam-BamBoyles 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Whats your full name or did you just get stuck with the coolest ironic nickname?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]roushmustang 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Cl4p-tp or cl4p-tp

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Squeezitgirdle 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Whats under the mask?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ToniWiersma 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Where did you get your handsomeness from? Mother? or Father?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]The_Upward_Arrow 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How should I style my mustache?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DamagedDovakiin 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What model of moon base do you use?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Stealth_Cow 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your weapon and shield of choice?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]I_Rain_On_Parades 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Will the pre sequel stay in sync between Mac and PC versions during updates?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]BadassMidget 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How are your relations with Patricia Tannis ?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]totes_meta_bot 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

This thread has been linked to from elsewhere on reddit.

- [/r/NSL] Hey, kiddos. Handsome Jack here -- AMA about how I'm better than you. : Borderlands

- [/r/bestof] Borderlands Antagonist, Handsome Jack, shows up to an AMA

- [/r/bestof] Handsome Jack from the Borderlands games does an AMA.

If you follow any of the above links, respect the rules of reddit and don't vote or comment. Questions? Abuse? Message me here.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]puloko ADIOS PENDEJOS! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

why do most of the hyperion weapons have those wierd magazine thingies?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Sgtbuttercup 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Any tips on how to be just as handsome as you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]LombaxTheGreat 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What did you plan to do if you survived and kept control of the warrior? Also, sorry I killed you. Would take it back if plot allowed it.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]faeriechyld 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I'm considering purchasing my own diamond horse. In your experience, what's the preferred food for them, bandit corpses, bullymongers or something else?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]RobFireburn 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is your favorite gun type (shotgun, pistol, sniper rifle, ect.)?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Wade1423 SHUT THE F**k UP STEVE! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How much did each of the handsome jack statues cost?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]camtheman888 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack. Why do you hate vault hunters in borderlands 2 i mean you killed me 7 times before i defeated you.! why you so op!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]One_more_page Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is there any word on how the extremely Handsome Doppleganger will be representing you on the moon of Elpis? Any specific tools? skills? Crazy inhuman stacking of power on arbitrary actions such as but not limited to reloading a gun? anything?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]cissmiace 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hello there Handsome Jack!
You are most devilishly handsome. How hard is it being the most handsome man this side of Pandora and beyond?
And can you tell me just how gloriously beautiful is Butt Stallion?
Much love!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]PghDrake 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can you say "Balloon Tits" for me? Please? Just once?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gothic_samurai 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What do you think of Mister Torgue?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HarleyQ HEEYYOOO 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

Hi Jack, I don't have a question I just wanted to say that I find your unstable outbursts of humorous psychotic rage sexy. I've always had a thing for extreme personalities.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]biotiki 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

so what exactly happened to angel's mom?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HyperionHottie69 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

hey, jack, how much did that kickass outfit cost? or is it just a uniform you were given by the higher ups? diggin those boots, man

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]finnthehuman86 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Where do you shop for your wonderful clothes? And who does your hair?!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]f0rged 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What do you think of people dressing up as your Co workers, and adversaries for fun at large recreational gatherings?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]loarfy 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (1 child)

do you honestly believe you're a good guy?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]diosamente 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

It's not like the bar is set particularly high on Pandora...

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

In honor of Handsome Jack Dating Simulator 2014, what is a typical night out with Jack like?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]blink5694 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How are you alive?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Big_Adam 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You know Jack, you talk an aweful lot of murder, which is odd as you call everyone else the bad guy.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Jarl__Ballin Critical, bitch! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hi, Jack. Why do you hate your grandma so much?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]BeardedFella 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

It has been said that Nisha deals out more damage according to the amount she receives, furthermore this supposedly gets her there? Does this get you there? also where is there?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]spulwgn 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is the coolest weapon you've found on the moon base?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Pm_me_ur_ink 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Ever get saddle sore from riding buttstalion? And were there ever any other little jacks we can look forward to killing in the future? You know, apart from angel?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]42ndtime 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who was your favorite strangling?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Retiredhustler 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, what are your thoughts on bloodwing and his stinky drunk owner Mordocai ?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Ooiman 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would that be and why?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]theblackfool 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your favorite thing to listen to after a nice day of pandemonium?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]LessThanHandsomeJack 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can I use your cloned body as my play thing near or around Tuesday? What if I promised to use it to kill Roland? And what if I promised that promise wouldn't come true?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Yo, Jack. What kind of store would you have?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HeliosHelpsHeroes 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What do you think about my username? Do you agree that Helios is a great place to for heroes to hang out?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]GrivGodmode 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If someone ever managed to kill you, for great vengeance let's say, would you leave any sort of fail-safe to kill or severely cripple the people who killed you? For example some sort of guy who you force to enter a number sequence (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42), and if you die, his oxygen gets cut off, and when the sequence doesn't get entered every LOADER goes into bandit mode or elpis crashes into pandora or something.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MicFury 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can you build be a BNK3R? I have these things called "bandits" over here that need some love & attention, Hyperion style.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]kohnan 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack, huge fan of your murders, I was thinking of planning a trip to Opportunity, what are some of the key attractions I "must see?"

Oh and one more thing, how can I kill this claptrap if there's no friendly fire?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You're a man of the world. You've had intercourse (which you obviously are very good at) with the Space-Vixens of Eden-6.

What's that like? I was hoping to get posted there once we take care of a certain piece of rogue Hyperion machinery that made a bit of a mess near Tartarus Station. Hey, I can at least dream, right?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Cryptolic89 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

HANDSOME JACK, DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN COMPETE WITH MR. TORGUE'S EXPLOSIVE AMA OF BADASSERY?

BOOOM EXPLOSIONS

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]frothingnome 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can I come to your birthday party? I'll bring green bean casserole.

And nothing else. cough

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]SonTran 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Would you rather have your enemies burnt to a crisp, or in little pieces after an insane explosion?

Also, pancakes or waffles?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]outflanking 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Best. AMA. Ever.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Psaroth We set the Bird on fire. 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dear Jack, I've been tinkering with a Projectile Convergence Hyperion SMG to add a larger magazine, but every time I've fired it, it keeps backfiring. Do you have any tips on how I should go about this? (because I'd prefer not to replace my left ear a sixth time)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]_AxtonTheCommando_Meet my Girlfriend 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dudes?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can I just say that I love you? I really do. You're my kinda guy.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TKhrowawaY 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's wrong with Jakobs munitions?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Hawkfiend 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is your favorite eating utensil?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]PaintItPurple 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I swear this is (allegedly) a true story. I went to a high school in LA and you (allegedly) crashed our prom after party (Universal Hilton). You (allegedly) ended up taking the virginity of a girl named Roseanne. You (allegedly) didn't call her afterwards. She (allegedly) cried a lot. Do you remember any of this and can confirm or have you (allegedly) been so knee deep in Pandora pooty for so long that this qualifies as a mere blip?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]The_________________ 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You seem like the kind of person who probably too focused on career ambition to have a lot of free time to kill, but do you by any chance play video games? If so, what have you been playing recently?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]mixtapelive 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who's Angel's baby mama?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]JJacobi92 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you to make you do such a thing? Did she feed you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Kyomaa 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, will we be seeing dual elemental type weapons on Elpis at all? That was always something I never quite understood, with so many guns that fire multiple bullets in one shot (I'm looking at you Unkempt Harold; wash your ass you psychopath), why couldn't one or two of those bullets be slag or lightning or something? I feel like we all focused so hard on having a slag weapon in our arsenal, that it was almost kind of limiting in the later game.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]cookies4all 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Hail the great and most Handsome Jack! What is one of your more heroic exploits? Also, what are some things you'd like to say to your fans over at www.reddit.com/r/OneTrueJack/

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ambivalentmalice 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

the glorious leader is here, all hail!

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]TBones0072 TORGUE SOLDIER PS3 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If Helen of Troys face could launch a thousand ships, how many BNK3Rs would launch for your face?

Also, do you prefer to strangle with one hand or two?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]hotori1994 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

how do you get your hair to look so magnificent you handsome bastard;)?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Shwinky Unconventional Assassin 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What do you prefer for removing eyeballs? A gun or a spoon?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]JJacobi92 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you to make you do such a thing? Did she feed you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you were a siren, what power would you have and why

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Sammichface Squishy, squishy, squishy 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I know you're handsome, I know you're an amazing narcissistic mad man. My question is about, the machine that you can feed crap guns to. If you toss 3 purple weapons in, what are the odds of getting an orange weapon in return?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Delta_Plus 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What exactly is the difference between a hyperion laser rifle and a sniper rifle? Other than the obvious bullet/laser difference

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HyperionHottie69 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

how're your grandmas doing?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack, what is your perfect Sunday?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (1 child)

[removed]

[–]webb2800 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey, i heard you have a body double, is this just some guy who looks a bit like you and wears the same clothes? or is a he more like a clone or some shit? I get the feeling he's a bit of a tryhard...

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Turn on's / Turn off's?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]loarfy 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

did you and angel ever do like, normal happy family stuff? do you even like angel? why did you decide to have a kid?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Melancholy9 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So tell me jack. How would you handle the Ebola crisis?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's with the glove? Michael Jackson complex, or just too damn stylish?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Ratonhaketon 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you think your parents did a good job in raising you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]hsojrrek 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How did you apply for the job of being such an evil person? Or were you just born into it.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]neverezt911 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What will be your Body Doubles Action Skill in The Pre-Sequel, any details on trees or class orientation?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]The_________________ 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

"Handsome" Jack? Gimme a break. Reality check: you are fugy, dude.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]twtchr44 You like my pet? 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

how can you be sure that the suits arent plotting against you and keeping you distracted on this crap all day?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DrDelirious 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey, Jack! Big fan here. Love the whole world domination thing. My question is, is it ever difficult being that handsome? And who is your favorite vault hunter?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Ulti Hey Vault Hunter! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Your guns are bad and you should feel bad. Actually, no, I take that back. You should fix your guns instead. How about a SMG with more than three rounds in the clip, eh Jack?!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What do you think of Lilith?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]zeal3000 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack what is your favorite method of torture.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Riantiada 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

despite being classist, egotistical, murderous, overbearing, douchey, condescending, vicious, sarcastic, and napoleonic...

...how the hell are you still so charming?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ninjaloco22 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

i touch myself watching your pictures is that normal??

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]finnthehuman86 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your favorite position? In bed. With a partner.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Syoz 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How's your grandmother doing?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ZServ Looks like I ordered WAYYYY too much pizza. 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I'm gonna assume this is Anthony, so I need to ask this. Why didn't you make the oh so obvious Warriors reference for the final boss?

For Jack: of all the vault hunters you've killed, which has been the most gratifying? Do you ever get sad about the fact that you're the only one who can do it so well?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Ludus_ 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who's your favorite Vault Hunter?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]dierubikdie Not fast enough! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, if you were to become CEO of Hyperion somehow, what would you do differently than the current management?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]JJacobi92 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you to make you do such a thing? Did she feed you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]LunarFalcon 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Serious question time.

As a woman in a scientific field that is traditionally male dominated I'm interested in what the gender ratio at Hyperion is like. Are there opportunities for women, is there an encouragement for girls to take up programming, what's your stance on this issue?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]lesassypancake 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So... How do you REALLY feel about Nisha?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]JJacobi92 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you to make you do such a thing? Did she feed you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]sirmeepster 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Good Afternoon Your Handsomeness, I wanted to congratulate you on your incredible luck! I am with the Lottery Commission of Nigeria and you are the lucky winner of the equivalent of $100,000,000! Normally taxes would need to be paid in the sum of 1% of the total winnings but in light of all your recent charitable activities, we are willing to waive this fee for the mere cost of 1 Borderlands Pre Sequel steam code. If you would be so kind as to pm this information to us we will be sure to wire your winnings into the account of your choosing.

Thank you for your time Mr. Jack and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]bigdogoverall 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack do you have body doubles on the moon with you

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is best in life?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]jsschmitt 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Ya know, I recently picked up a new Hyperion branded SMG, and I must say that the quality is bad.

Marcus convinced me that Hyperion was where I should go for accuracy in the past, but now... I'm not so sure.

What made you install those damn stabilizers, and can you do something about the fact that in order to stabilize, they first make the gun shoot like a blind midget shotgunner?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]thebaconator55 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack, would you ever consider uh... Making a functional sniper rifle, and also better than Dahl's... Because both are terrible...

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Be honest... do you feel sorry for all of the men out there less handsome and talented than you? (And by that, I mean everybody.)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]woodenjigsaw 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Would you Axton?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]AtiMan 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How do you feel about the name John?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]siriusblk69 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you and Mr. Torgue have a drink together? Angel is hot..can we talk to her?!?!?!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HyperionHottie69 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

is it tiring having to deal with so many adoring fans on a daily basis?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Vindikus 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Did Butt Stallion die? :'(

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]loonyduck1 I could wait for you to finish talking... 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why are you less shit than Blake?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]g0db3rry 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can I have a free Hyperion gun?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DANNYonPC 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Glorious leader of everything that is handsome.

How is it to have your own videogame where the four badguys keep loosing?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]youresuchadorkvic 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What are some things that really piss you off?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]hazzer99x 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I killed a few thousand people with a recent regenerative matter cannon that cause peoples inside to multiply until they explode, that I cough bought from a secret tediore lab beneath a slum on promeathea and I was wondering do you know have any advice for a budding weapon salesmen as myself?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's more disappointing, the fact that the vault hunters couldn't get in the first vault or the potential that there could be another vault with nothing in it but a stupid monster?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if said woodchuck was a cannibal?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]angrybum12 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

What is you favorite method of strangulation? bare hands? piano wire? cramming your fist down someones throat?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MixelsPixelz 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you could choose how you'd die, what firey blaze of glory would you go out with?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Zer0DotFive 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is the difference between choking and strangulation?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Kw0n 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I actually have two Questions:

Who is the best character in Borderlands? And why is it Krieg?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]VexedEgo 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you ever fear that in the future their will be a group of vault hunters that include a robotic freak that speaks in haikus, a short, overcompensating salvadorian gunslinger, a commando who just got dumped by his wife, a teenage hipster with a robot death machine follower, a psycho that likes slashing things, and a siren that just freaked out her home planet, that eventually hunt you down, kill your daughter, girlfriend, Wilhelm, future robots you intend to build such as maybe a bunker that is actually a death machine, or a huge hyperion bot named Saturn, and winds up also killing a lava based monster that you would release from a theoretical vault. Has this ever crossed your mind?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gemini-siren 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Does it turn you on when people call you sir?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]RampageFillTheRedBar 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack what did Krieg do before he went all, you know, psycho? Wtf did you do to him to cause this mental rift? Will we find out in the pre-sequel?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]mchief75 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is your "Bitch" line of SMGs inspired by your past relationships/lovers/dead-lovers or is it inspired by something else?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]fromDdark 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

why didn't you clone a son (or daughter) of the Warrior?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dude what the fuck did you do to that Krieg guy? Dude lights himself on fire and bashes himself in the face with a buzzaxe and *laughs about it while murdering every Hyperion employee he sees.

I know you're Handsome Jack and super cool and unstoppable and all, but you might want to keep an eye out for a screaming 7-foot wall of flames running at you. Jesus, man. You fucked him up bad.

Wait.

Or did you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]kitttykatz This jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

That Twitter wallpaper is, um, not great. What the hell, erm, heck (language)!?!

- Did you let CL4P-TP design it?

- Are you stuck in 2000?

- Did Corporate assign you some executive's 2 year old kid to make it? (If so, please find some way to strangle them. Slowly. Obvious lack of market and brand awareness...)

- Are the moon accents making you stupid?

- Are you going through meme withdrawal since memes are apparently banned from the moon base?

- Did you hack and "improve" Hyperion's account, 4Chan style?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]racalac 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dear Jack, Would you consider a charitable donation to the Pandora School for Orphans Whose Parents Had Their Eyes Scooped Out by Awesome, Handsome Heroes?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Hideous This is where the cars live, git you one! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey, Jack. When did you last visit Earth? Is it hard to get here from Pandora?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]RyogaXenoVee 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Crap, I'm late to the party!

http://i.imgur.com/mPRrQHW.jpg

Since you tend to be surrounded by ninjas from time to time.

What / who do you think Zer0 is?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]maxwell-von-streisen 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

at school its hard being the most cool and handsome person, how hard is it to be the coolest and best looking on the planet

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey, I heard you died! And like a total bitch too! Oh my god it was hilarious! Really quite satisfying.

Anyways, my question is why do Hyperion-brand pistols suck so bad?

No stopping power, the clip empties before I can get bead on a bandit's face, and reloading is like dismantling a camera that keeps its memory drive behind the batteries. No wonder you name your guns Objectification of Fecal Matter or whatever, 'cause they're a piece of shit!

P.S. Your daughter's hot.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]shibbypwn 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you seen a little girl named Tina lately? Are you friends with her parents?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]SkullCR THE VOICES SAID EMPTY HOLLOW AND THUD 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Take a look at this Jack. http://skullcr.deviantart.com/art/Hyperion-Cupajoe-422918619 https://www.dropbox.com/s/1jnrqz6umwmlos2/2014-10-05%2012.42.54.jpg?dl=0

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]dynoman60 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why are you not the main character in the pre sequel?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]psychorunner17 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome jack sir i find you awesome especially about the guy in new haven who charged you with a spoon but my question is if you wanted a soldier to serve your badassery

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]One_more_page Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy... 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I have preordered the Presequel and the season pass, but how can I give you MORE money?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MikeAlustrium 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I have your Butt Stallion.

Ransom is set at 1 Vault Key.

I'LL BE WAITING.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Pinkie4000 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dear handsome Jack, I just wanted to say your are my true hero of all times! You rock so hard!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]linkinparkfan96 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I have one question and one question only, EXPLOSIONS?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HyperionHottie69 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

any reason you're so against the use of foul language?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gemini-siren 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Boxers or briefs?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

do you have any nudes of moxxi?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gentlemantis 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So, how's the family?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]CaitlinSarah87 phaselock to the top 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack, (may I call you HJ?) What is your favorite thing to kill? Bullymongs, skags, stalkers, vault hunters?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]bgomers 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hello Mr. Jack, My 4th summer home in Opportunity has been in development for the past 4 years, What gives?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Vect_Machine I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT A BADASS IS! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What are your tips to being a good father that has obviously won the galactic father championships?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Taskhill 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why would you let Angel have that hair cut? Follow up: what's your policy on dating?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Cial 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

Mr. Jack, Greetings from the planet earth; would you happen to be hiring? My qualifications involve not being a mouth breather, being able to tell which end is the operational end of a gun, and knowledge Microsoft Office.

Also how goes the campaign against the inhabitants of Pandora's moon?

Also is there a catalog I can get? I find myself in need of some new weaponry to handle a slight... Infestation

Regards /u/Cial <Location Unknown> Earth

P.S. sorry for the multiple transmissions I get a terrible connection to the echonet

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Tycoontwist 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gemini-siren 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your deal with sirens, anyway?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Sgray5232 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you play call of duty Mr. Jack?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]mss0290 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So what's you favorite weapon you've found across Pandora and Elpis? Not counting moonshots.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gentlemantis 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How'd you get involved with Hyperion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]callumrulz09 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who is Angel's mother?!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Tomdorama Poop Train Conductor 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who would you say is your best friend Jack?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can you explain who put out of business my favorite manufacturer, S&S Munitions? Damn I miss the Serpens.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Favorite knife? (Don't say it's a spoon... please)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]diosamente 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you, are you banging Taylor Swift or something? The repeated references make me suspicious you're going to be the subject of a teenpop song in months to come

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]mehtuhl 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I hear a lot of people ship you with Moxxi. Who do you ship yourself with?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]happybirthdaygelatin 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can I have a copy of the Pre-Sequel?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DishwasherTwig 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is your element of choice? Fire, electricity, slag, laser, ice, or explosion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]PotHeadJesus 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your high score for the amount of pieces you can cut a man in to? Or do you leave such messy work for your underlings?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TheAdamantArchvile 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Weapon of choice?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gemini-siren 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So, you're single huh? Are you accepting dating applications? :)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MrLudvigPro 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can i buy buttstallion for a vault key

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]quaint28 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsomest Jack:

What is the best way to be more like you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can I have The Warrior as a pet? He's a total badass and, somehow, cute.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]coco-monster 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Sup?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Kaitatatertot 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So Jack... If you weren't working for Hyperion, what other job might you have done?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]chrissicat 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Handsome Jack! What do you find to be the most efficient gun to kill bandits with?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]EnasniVolz Miss me, Sugar? 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Whats your favorite food to snack on after slaughtering a bunch of bandits? (and no it can't be pretzels. They always suck anyway.)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

1. What vault hunter do you plan on killing first in TPS?

2. What Legendary would you like me to shoot you in the frickin' face with?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's the best thing about working for Hyperion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How much was Butt Stallion worth?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]GaigeAndDeathtrap 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How can I make Deathtrap even more badass?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you ever played Bunkers and Badasses?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]PoliPls 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

you want marry me? <3

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]marimbamood 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can I ride Butt Stallion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gemini-siren 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

When's your birthday, and how old are you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who would win in a Siren-off... Lilith, or Maya?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]le-imp 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

1) how do you like your vault hunters? 2) do you take butt stallion to the Kentucky derby for the greatest horse race? 3) have you tried a violent take over of another company? 4) favorite Pandora song? 5) weirdest date you were on?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How can I become you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Silkentech08 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you think you will ever have an all diamond horse named butt-stallion because of a siren, a psycho, a high school dropout with a robot, an alien assassin thing, a war veteran, and a midget?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Akiramas 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is Butt Stalion doing right now?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]mehtuhl 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What type of Hyperion gun is your style? My favorite's a sniper, followed by an SMG. Hyperion products have gotten me out of more sticky situations than any other company. Good on you guys!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gemini-siren 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who's your favorite mutant from the X-Men universe?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gneissgirly 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Would you draw me like one of your french girls, Jack?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TeddyBearRhino 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Handsome Jack! I named a drink after you :). Its a mixed drink with one shot of Honey jack and the rest being A&W cream soda. It might have a name already but it my mind it will always be called Handsome Jack. It's pretty good you should try it!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Jomy582 I heard there was Anarchy 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I heard there was this siren that left Athenas, do you know anything about it?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]snowboardpat 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who do I complain to about faulty Hyperion Loader units?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]supernova645 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

i love claptrap what about you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]elchucko ZZZEEERRRRKKKK!!!! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Pretzels. What's your brand?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]JTitian17 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Man, I loved when you gouged that guy's eyes out with a spoon and watched his kids cry. Just... classic!

If you had to level any town/group of people on Pandora, who would it be and why?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who's your favorite vault hunter? And by favorite I mean which one do you want dead the most?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MrsKittyhawk 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Ever mind going out to drink some wine, kill vault hunters and torture some bandits with me? Pretty much low to do it without having someone to laugh about it. Oh by the way, i wonder everytime what your surname is. Seems like half pandora doesn´t use any surnames.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Enyk 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Any child care tips? Playpen recommendations?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Bigddy762 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hello sir, I must inquire as to your favorite method of eliminating your enemies?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you a skag or a rakk person?

Do you like tubby animals?

Why is your daughter so hot?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]jackurcool 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your favorite meme?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]AlextheHunter 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey, what Will your duppelgangers action skill be like?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you ever feel yourself slowly beginning to fall in love with someone only to realize you've been staring into a mirror the whole time?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gemini-siren 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you have any kinks or fetishes that don't involve strangulation?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Coolboypai 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Handsome Jack, got any tips for future vault hunters?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]undeadninja2 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is your honest opinion on the vault hunters? Do you ever feel romantically inclined towards them?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]GentlemanOwl 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I've always wondered, do moon bases come standard with a giant death laser or is that an option?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MasterFrank99 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Will we ever see a game that have you as main character?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TheAngryBlueberry YOU ROBOTIC SUMBITCHES 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why should I purchase Hyperion over any other brand?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]superior-joe 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

what are your views on the use of anthrax ?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]khaotickk 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Thank you for doing this Handsome Jack!

How did you plan on using The Warrior's power when you opened the vault?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]mowens86 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jackie,

Say I knew a guy that might be interested in commissioning some radar guided stealth robot panthers with face lasers... And we'll just say this guy would be looking forward to testing said robot panthers in some sort of competitive death arena in a Zero-G environment. Do you think perhaps these sort of things could be done in a timely manner? You think maybe you could get something going? I hear he might even want to commission an all Obsidian coated one.

TL;DR I need you to create a few stealth panthers with face lasers.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

Have you ever considered removing someone's DNA based data from the New-U database so they could never come back, essentially killing them for good?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]oldslvr76 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack...are Vladoff weapons still in the game? They were talking about laser guns and they mentioned every brand but vladoff

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Wafflespork 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, Why do hyperion guns do like no damage? Also I talked to your boss he says youre a hideous little code monkey

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Cwwatson43 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Handsome Jack, how is Moxxi in bed?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Ranstafle Nailed It! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What are you gonna dress up as for Halloween?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]BlondeNinjaxo 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

When you become King of the Universe, can you make me your Queen? Taylor Swift will write ballads of our triumphs. 💙 💜

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]eaerp Sexiest Minion Ever 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Yo Jack thanks for doing this man, how does it feel to be on such an unstopable, meteoric rise to power?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Mendicantbias00 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you ever considered an anger management course? I think it could do you a world of good.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]chatsharris 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you ever worry that you're just misunderstood?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Krystalleon[🍰] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, Siren booty, am I right?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]GuyDude1337 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your opinion on Nisha, Mr. Jack?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Jeembo 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's the deal with those little dog/pig things with the weird mouth?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

FYI if Nisha doesn't treat you like the goddamned king that you are, you know where to find me ;)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Laidtorest98 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So Jack any info on what your body double maybe equipped with in the presequel?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How can I get my eyebrow game to be as strong as yours?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Mr. Handsome:
How would I go about styling my hair in such a magnificent manner?
Also how's Blake doing?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]emPtysp4ce Pimento Taco 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's the best way to get blood stains out of a soul?

Wait, also, where'd you get the big H-looking satellite?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Makispi 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack, one question, why are you so damn handsome?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gemini-siren 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you suspect someone is working for Dahl Corporation, is it within your rights as a decent and (mostly) law-abiding citizen to shoot them in the freaking face for treason? Please say yes.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]kitttykatz This jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

When you become an interplanetary superhero -- and we all know that this is happening -- I'm sure you'll be creating tons of signs and cutouts depicting your likeness.

Your loyal employees will make so many that there isn't even room for all of them, so some will wind up in closets, waiting for their spectacular unveiling.

This is happening. You know it. I know it.

My question: Any chance you'd sign some of these glorious art pieces and set them aside for your loyal fans?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Mr. Handsome , I wanted to let you know that you are my all time favorite villain. You and the Joker, everything else pales in comparison. I rooted for you in Borderlands 2, but sadly, all good things must come to an end.

Aside from finding the Warrior, what is your favorite accomplishment?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]S5546 The pain goes HERE! *smack* 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Would you rather fight 100 duck sized Butt Stallions or 1 Butt Stallion duck?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]NocturnalBeing 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How's Grandma?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Benskien 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who/what inspired you to become Handsome Jack?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Agrelm 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is your favorite song and why? Can I be your bro?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]mehtuhl 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I think Lemon Demon might owe you royalties. They're stealing the whole... mask of your own face thing. Just thought you might like to know.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]EveryoneDiesAtTheEnd BLOOOOOOOD 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who is the more "handsome" Jack?

You or that time-travelling immortal "Handsome" Jack Harkness (who you totally didn't steal your name from).

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gemini-siren 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So Nisha's seen you with your mask off? I'm impressed! Lucky gal :)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]kitttykatz This jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A frickin' spoon! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you seen that show Shark Tank?

If so, what do you think of it? Were you disappointed that they didn't have actual sharks on the show? How would you improve the program?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]oldslvr76 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Vladoff weapons in the pre-sequel?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Cl4p-TP_Steward_Bot 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You ever seen a Constructor bot dance, minion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]SovietTr0llGuy 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can you tell us more about yourself? Where are you from? How'd you become involved with Hyperion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gENTlebrony I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your spirit animal?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]RogueD90 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I have to say Hyperion makes the best guns out there, but what the trick to making them so darn accurate at putting loads of bullets into your least favored enemy?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]AdmiralMudkip 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your opinion of Maliwan? Personally, the style they use on their guns really does it for me. Shit's kick ass.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ViaBlaze 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Could you tell any of us a good story, I hear your stories always have a good moral.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Nuklearpinguin 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why haven't you used your soothing voice to record a Dota2 Announcer?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TheAugitePawn 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why the hell hasn't reddit put your glorious AMA on their fancy AMA app yet?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]tallkido 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Im #1 so why try harder?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]GruntOfAction 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you decided to be a chef instead of the president of Hyperion would you be Hungry Jack instead? https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bzh0xEJCUAAk3XF.jpg

I bet you'd make bitchin' pancakes.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MiniJar Today is full of Opportunity 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Where are you right now?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]tellerfan Shit and Meatballs! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What kind of extravagant rewards can I expect for being brand loyal and buying all of the damned Borderlands game? Sweet ass starting weapons made of gold, a unique head and skin combo that let's everyone know I'm a BAMF, or a hearty handshake and a pat on the back?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]raquaza120 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How are your pretzels?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]trick069 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you ever ran the train on someone with your clone?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]fixermark 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I'm in the market for ponies made of exotic materials, and I've heard you're something of an expert. I'm considering diamond, but it seems like it'll be expensive to get the heavy drilling tools necessary to brush her mane. Should I settle for one made of cubic boron nitride?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]wagmatic 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How much death is TOO MUCH death? And can you kill so much that reality attempts to equal out and generate more life (which can subsequently be removed/vaporized)?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gemini-siren 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What do I do if I suddenly wake up and realize that you've ruined me for all other men?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]mehtuhl 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You wake up and realize Dahl Corporation has strapped you to a CL4P-TP unit in your sleep. What do you do?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Henkayy 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your thought about Scooter?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]YTMSMR 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So Jack, I know that you're busy being good at sex and saving Elpis and Pandora, so just wondering if you've kept up your violin practice, or if you've been too pre-occupied.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gemini-siren 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's the craziest place you've ever had sex? (I mean come on, Moxxi seems like a freak to me!)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TheWellets 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is it weird that I'm reading all of your responses in your voice?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Chantasuta 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So what's the best thing about being so quick-witted and very much feared by everyone?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Halomatic SMELLS LIKE HOME 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How long did it take you to get to where you're at now in the Hyperion ranks, and how many people had to die to get you there?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]BrilliantBen 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is Lynchwood a euphemism for something else?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]OpinionToaster steam: 10KilogramsofSolidDeath 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is your first name Handsome or Jack?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gentlemantis 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's the screening process for your body doubles?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]zskot75 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

so handsome jack, what's it like bein a pencil pusher at hyperion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Namisar HOP ON MY MEAT BICYCLE! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Will we see young Angel in the pre-sequel?

How about her mother?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]QQStkl 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Time to finish this hard-hitting reporter style: Jack. What can you tell us you've learned from the Warrior debacle? What did you take away from that dark chapter that you can use as you pick up the pieces of your former life?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TheLionsBrother RAAAAAAAAGE!! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is Hyperion ever going to match the quality of a good ol' Jakobs rifle? Because, while I've had a few good Hyperion machine guns, nothing has ever been as satisfying as watching bandits' heads explode with my Jakobs rifle.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gemini-siren 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How's the weather up on Elpis today?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]SkullCR THE VOICES SAID EMPTY HOLLOW AND THUD 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans, this'll be the last comment I ever send your ass It's been many posts and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two links; I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect So this is my last post I'm sending you, I hope you read it:

http://skullcr.deviantart.com/art/Hyperion-Cupajoe-422918619 https://www.dropbox.com/s/1f50esk0qrb7p73/2014-10-05%2012.44.11.jpg?dl=0 http://skullcr.deviantart.com/art/The-Vault-329359752?q=gallery%3ASkullCR%2F19505295&qo=16

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]YTMSMR 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dear Handsome Jack, last question was a bit of a step in the wrong direction, didn't know you already answered it. So I came up with a better question for you to hopefully grace me with your time when you aren't busy with sex and being Pandora and Elpis' greatest hero; What's the wifi like on Elpis?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Nyxbar 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why do you have to be such a sexy bugger?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DigbyMayor Shoot Goiaths in the brain, then they go insane. Wut. Wut. 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What do you with your left eye? Certainly not see...

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HyperionHottie69 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

your all time favorite meme, go

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]FrostCollar 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack, you've obviously got the right ideas about Pandora. How can we help?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MotonlessPotato 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I don't have a question. I just wanted to say that you're awesome. That is all.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Nygmus 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How do you feel about those detractors who claim that Hyperion's exquisite emphasis of style, practicality, and synergy detract from the usability of their weapons as killing devices?

I've even heard of some unwashed swine going so far as to claim that Torgue weaponry was far superior!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]RampageFillTheRedBar 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Favorite meme?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DrCthuluface 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

how does it feel to be doing the exact same shit for the third time without even a hint of innovation or an original idea to be found?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]GuyDude1337 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

WHat is your favorite form of murder?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]BooBooBusDriver 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What do you do on your downtime besides eating pretzels and strangling chumps?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I can't help but read this AMA in your voice, Morgan Freeman v.2

If i payed you enough eridium, would you consider parting ways with Buttstallion? That is one handsome mother fucker - Not handsome like you.. but handsome for a horse made from diamonds.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Mr... Mr. Jack? Mr. Handsome? What do I call you?

Anyways, I'd just like to ask: Since when do you browse reddit? Also, why are you so damn handsome (Genetics, genetic modification, shittons of hair gel, etc.)?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How would we go about telling apart you from your body double?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Eman4evr 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So are we going to see an even more badass Interplanetary Ninja Assassin Claptrap sometime soon?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Alpha_N_Omega95 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you somehow take over Hyperion, what are your plans for expansion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DaCuban 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack, on average, how many interns do you go through? And how much college credit does a summer internship at Hyperion give?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]mehtuhl 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If some horrible, hypothetical thing were to happen in the distant future where those stupid vault hunters actually track you down at the vault of the warrior or whatever... I mean, you'd totally send your body double to that, right? You wouldn't actually put yourself in harm's way and let their bandit asses kill you...

Surely a man as great as yourself has many body doubles for such tasks...

I mean, New-U stations aren't canon. But body doubles are. coughs

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]someguy626 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack, just a randomly numbered Hyperion employee here, just wondering about these new-U stations we've got here on Pandora, now I know you've told us to kill these vault hunter fellas, but every time we kill them they just pop right back out of a New-U, I know these stations make the company money, but are just killing them to make money? Or do you actually want us to kill them dead? ..... Please don't kill me for questioning your methods...

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Fribbel 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you could create a personal, unique weapon only for yourself, what would it be and how would it work?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ToasttheRabbit 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack

What is your opinion of rabbits? Also, I just kicked a nun in the junk.

Toast

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DigbyMayor Shoot Goiaths in the brain, then they go insane. Wut. Wut. 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

FUCK! AS SOON AS AS ASK MY QUESTION!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]InfernalVortex 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you played this game called Destiny? It looks boring.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Thenightmancumeth 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you have any care advice for my skin mask?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]the_Phloop Sycophantic product of incest. 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Sexy!

You're the smartest man I know. What's your theory on why Pandora has so many goddamn washing machines?! And why do the barbarians insist on keeping their valuables in them instead of washing the filthy rags they insist on calling "clothes"?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]cademan40 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you love or hate the fact that even thoe i killed you i took your face and now wear it? i mean i guess we all kinda love you...just a little....

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]timo103 AKIMBO! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's Mr. Blake been up to?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Scruffaduff 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Alright I'll be the one to ask it. How are you better than me?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]cokainpropane 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, I have one question for you. Tits? Or ass?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]gerdgawrd 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So what's your problem with porn?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ashhhhjx 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You hope to make out with others? I know I'm on that list somewhere, no, at the very top. Hahaha xx anxiously awaiting your return..

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DireGhostlion 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So i noticed you don't have an New u account. why not? seem like the perfect thing to have encase some pissed off Vault hunter shoots you in the face.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]herbertgrover 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So what is your greatest invention

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]GunslingHer 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

1. If I'll put a quantum harmonizer in your photonic resonation chamber would that cause a parabolic destabilization of the fission singularity?

2. Chicken or beef?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]SheZowRaisedByWolves 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How's the violin coming along?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]StruckingFuggle 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Vault hunters have already taken down one corporation. While clearly Hyperion won't ever suffer the fate Atlas did, do you think that the leaders of, say, Dahl, will ever have to worry?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]twocupsonegirl 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

This is the best fucking AMA ever

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Lokie_Firestar 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Yay Handsome Jack! First question, I love you. Second question, will you help me take over the world?

~With love from Sir Handsome Jack's stalker~

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Bloodlad66 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack what's your favorite sex position?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]snowboardpat 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Exactly how much better are you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]aztec_cat 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why, hello there Handsome Jack. I just got one question for you, why did you choose to name yourself "Handsome" Jack over other names like "Fancy" Jack, "Dapper" Jack, or "Clean-Cut" Jack. I personally prefer Handsome Jack (cause you were born awesome). All this is just a strange thought I had while I was bored today.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Serck 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack, out of all of the sentient creatures in the six galaxies. Why on Alpis would you hire a cl4p-tp unit to do anything.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]IWasAMidgetHorse 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I found a handsome guy and took his face. I can't get it to stay on. Tips?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]cave_sex 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Were you born perfect or did you grow into it?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]WeeMand 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What did you do to take care of Butt Stallion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Simo0399 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you have a relationship with stairs?

If yes, how's it going?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]fredythepig 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Most importantly, how the fuck is Butt Stallion doing?!?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Killeragain 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What element are you looking forward to Handsome Jack?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]NitrogenDesign MODERN ART!! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Which vault hunter did you want to kill the most?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DimlightHero VH S. Thompson 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How's the railgun research coming along?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Evoqw 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

In a few years jack you will have a great time in New Heaven with spoons

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Miisc 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Bring your children to work day. What did Angel think about it?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Tyres20 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I have on question. Which one do you like better, ass or tits?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]kiddos 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hi

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]iinfrequentlyperish 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What was the most absurd object you've ever killed somebody with?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Trollishum 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why have you allowed the vault hunters to use your 'new-u' stations?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]IlliterateBatman 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why can't you get good pretzels?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]SirWhoblah Hello travelers 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What level of pistol does it take to one shot a fully levels Roland

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Zeero92 STRANGER DANGER!!! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I hear there's a guy that looks exactly like you on your payroll. What's up with that?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]renhero TAKE A RIDE ON THE BLACK DRAGON 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you ever come back to read the questions you missed in this AMA, could you share a limerick about how you would then immediately regret that decision?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]GiddyMitch 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

When I grow up I wanna be just like you, what are your best tips to being awesome?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Buccura 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

You ever beat XCOM on impossible ironman?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Jill4ChrisRed 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I have an uncontrolable young siren daughter, any tips how to fix that? She's impossible to get babysitters for (mainly cause they all freakin' die before the end of the night and I'm like COME ON! Seriously?!) and I just want a couple hours, maybe a few days, just to myself. Wanna get back into echosimming, chilling out, you know?
Any advice?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]roaryrocks 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Mr. Jack, How do you feel about everyone asking you questions even though your time slot ended about 6 hours ago?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]I_AM_NOT_HUMAN 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, what are your future plans for the Hyperion corporation? Do you plan to expand to other planets? Do you plan to take over any rival corporations?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Vectorsxx Tediore Whore 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I'm sorry Jack, but Tediore has my name for best weapons.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Coylie3 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

Hey, Handsome Jack.

My younger sister is turning sixteen in a few days. Do you think you'd be able to make it to Eden-5 so she can meet her hero? She loves the story of how you opened the Vault and defeated the Destroyer.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Psycho_scissor 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dear Jack, do you ever regret sealing Angel away? I understand that it was partly for her own good to keep her powers in check, but now you can't hold your little girl anymore.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]PandArmygeneral Explosions of life 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Handsome Jack. I pre-ordered The Pre-Squeal and I'm going to say that I can't wait to fight by your side. About your question on "What's BL2?" It what we say to shorten Borderlands 2, also thanks for covering the choking and strangling. My question though is, How is it being the CEO of a major company?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]tyler_m39 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Who was your first kill?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Busted_Stuff 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

If you could have the head of any vault hunter from BL2 (Salvador, Mia, Zero, Axton, Gaige, or Krieg), who would it be and why?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Rienuaa Jack fangirl at heart 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I know I'm late, but I just wanted to say that I totally love you.

Seriously bro.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]tyler_m39 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you plan on getting revenge on the vault hunter scum who wronged you and your utopian dream? Also will there be a second coming of Jack like for Jesus? http://www.reddit.com/r/OneTrueJack/

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TORQUESPLODE 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I am here to ask you one question, and one question only: EXPLOSIONS?!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]tyler_m39 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is your relationship status with Sir. Hammerlock? I know the way that you look at him...

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TheCosmicEntity 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is your favorite geological feature on Pandora? Thanks for your leadership a welcome change!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]RickyZBiGBiRD Justice for Maya 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hi there, Mr Jack. Big fan of your products. My question is, why did Hyperion stop producing its Nidhogg line of rocket launchers? Those beauties brought unrivaled levels of carnage at mid range.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]mrleetyler 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

this has to be the best AMA ever ....sooo funny!!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Lemon_Cube 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is there any family members you have that we may not know about? I mean those good looks have to come from somewhere, am I right?!

Also, Is the creation of the CL4P-TP unit something you deeply regret?, or something you take pride in for the horrible squealing noise that emanates from within those rust buckets has tortured so many...

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What is your favourite speech? If you don't like speeches, just pick a monologue from a movie or some crap like that.

Also, black boater hats; Yay or nay? Y'know, the ones with charred bandit skin instead of felt.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]jgcorvetteboy 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hello Handsome (or should I call you Jack?), I am currently interested in purchasing my first Hyperion weapon and I was wondering if you had any recommendations? I have a soft spot for assault rifles, SMGs and revolvers if that helps.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]baylithe Strip the flesh, salt the wound 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

This is the best AMA I've ever read.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]D3dshotCalamity 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So, Handsome- can I call you Handsome? Cool. Where do you stand on the hypothetical continuity of the ramifications and seemingly apparent fact that I don't know what these words mean, and how might you improve the quality of life for someone who knows not the meanings of them? Also, where did you get your mask? The Stupid Masks store?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]stinksman 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

so what is your favorite, superior, hyperion godlike armament?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]echospecter 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is the presequel going to tell us how to be a serial killer as well?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TenspeedGames When I'm good, I'm very good 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How are you better than me?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]IceWolfcat 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Will you marry me?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]TheBigDoughnut 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's your favorite cereal?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DaedricWindrammer 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Is Handsome Jack Archer?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]RayereSs 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hi Jack I'm your fan. Would you shoot me, so I could have best kind of autograph from you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

handsome jack can i ask you for a favor please don't kill or maim me

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]zetsu028 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What really happened to Angel's Mom?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]treekick phase! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why did you kill Blood Wing and Roland?!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]miguel833 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

People say that your a f***ked up guy. What will you like to say to them? Also, have you ever been baby seal clubbing? I recommend it, it's good for the arms.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]AlvisDBridges 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

So how much DID Butt Stallion cost?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Cheapshades97 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What programming language does hyperion use?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Miss_Torture 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Can I have a job?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack! Oh man this is awesome! I'm a huge fan, just want to mention that's, and– Jack? Why are you walking away? What's that remote for? Jack?
Jack?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Mishakat 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Did you and Roland get milkshakes ever?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]tuxisme Best Supporting Actor 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Your thoughts on Daft Punk's "Random Access Memories" winning Album of the Year over RED?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]brandonx456 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, why you so handsome ??

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Wernsto 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack , Did you took over the Abandoned Crimson Lance Facilities on Pandora? And a Follow-Up question , If you did , What happened to the Crimson Lance soldier's that were there , Did you killed them or made them your slaves?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]cassiopere 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

am i late?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]romannumbers96 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (1 child)

How exactly do the lunar mortars on your space station work?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]romannumbers96 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

And follow up, how does one apply to join the glorious Hyperion Corporation?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]buggigirl 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hello, Handsome Jack. Let me just say I'm your number one fan! I love you so much! I've got two questions for you: 1. Have you ever met or heard of a girl called Tiny Tina? 2. Will you marry me?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]lie7888 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you a professional memer?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Pearlcent_Psycho 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you and Wilhelm buddies?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ClaptrapForJack 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you know any languages, except English? Maybe Russian or Chinese?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]kenwaystache Zer0 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How comfortable is the mask?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]snapssssssss 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Will Borderlands:TPS be a midnight release on PC/Steam? If not, can you try and make it happen since some Gamestops are doing a midnight release. Thanks.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]AFLYINTOASTER 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What's under the mask?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Eruanno 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Dear Jack,

how do you stay so handsome? Also, autographs?

Love, Eru

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]LuuLovebug ANARQUÍA. 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Why are you so handsome?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Delta_Plus 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How do you feel about the rumors saying you were skipped over as a vault hunter for your very own body double?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]EnasniVolz Miss me, Sugar? 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack, HUUUUGE fan of your ex. What ever made you think you could keep a woman like Moxxi? ;)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Zacharius 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Would you rather fight 1 skag sized duck or 100 duck sized skags?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]dsween123 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Kill, screw, or marry. Claptrap, Batman, and Mr. Torque. Don't fail me now handsome Jack! I need guidance!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 9 years ago (2 children)

[deleted]

[–]Greyfox643 I need it dead in 1 shot or less 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Handsome Jack doesn't have nearly the amount of time to list even a fraction of that list.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Oh, I almost forgot. How are the wife and kid doing? Haven't seen 'em in a while. *smirk*

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]rogannn 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Handsome Jack, will you giveaway some Steam codes? Since you are loaded and Hyperion is sponsoring this right?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Yamigata 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

When you off someone, do you find yourself saying things like "You just got Jacked?"

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]goneviralbop 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Does it bother you that a bunch of people killed you then took your face and wore it as their face?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ladyllana 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

On a scale of a Skag to Claptrap, how rad are your dance moves?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]JJacobi92 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, was it truly necessary to kill your grandma? What could she have possibly done to you to make you do such a thing? Did she feed you cookies you thought were chocolate chip but were secretly raisin?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Kerrzhe 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

How big of a mistake was unleashing Krieg on an unsuspecting Pandora?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Badlydrawnboy0 Sorry, did that hurt? / That sorry was sarcasm / I am not sorry 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Any thoughts on that Krieg guy? Dude ate my firstborn, who the fuck let him loose?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Detectivekatz 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey, you're an asshole, I'm an asshole. Let's get married and kill my ex in the most brutally painful way possible. This isn't a question, obviously. More like a fantastic suggestion / opportunity. For you. Murder and sex are two of the best things. Mostly the murder though. So what do you say? (There's a question in case you were going to be a bitch about it).

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Andrewrox96 -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago* (2 children)

Hey Jack. Who would you rather fight; 100 Duck-sized Buttstalions, or 1 Buttstalion sized Duck?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 8 points 9 points 10 points 9 years ago (1 child)

How did we even make it this far? As, like, a species?

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Some of us are further evolved than others, presumably.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago (1 child)

I don't know if you remember this, but a while ago you asked me to kill myself. Well, I did, and I became your bitch :)

My question is why don't you use your own New-U stations?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HandsomeJackHyperion I'm such a rock star.[S] 11 points 12 points 13 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I hate this planet.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Zerg006 NIPPLE SALADS -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

How do I get to be like you? I aspire to be you.

Also, say hi to Buttstalion for me

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]quaint28 -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

1. Would you please tell us about riding Butt Stallion in all his and your glory?
2. Will the demise of all the Claptraps be explained in the Presequel?
3. Is there more awesome intro music?
4. May I get a code for a NISHA outfit or head? I'm looking forward to playing as her most!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]edgehead_sts -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Will buttstallion be with you in the presequel

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]AMontyPython -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

How is Butt-Stallion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Where'd you get the skin you stapled on to your face?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]zetatrach -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

How do you feel about Eazy-E dying of AIDS?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]mightymudkip Word::GT:Tommy Clayton -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

What brand were the wrost pretzels?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]adawg58 -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Butt stallion. yes or no?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]justinoverdorf -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

How did you come about getting ahold of Butt Stallion exactly?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]nicknamekb -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

What do you feed butt stallion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Vivalaredsox -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Did those pretzel suck because Butt Stallion licked all of the salt off of them?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]FatedTitan -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Does BL:PS retcon info from BL2, such as Jack already having Angel manipulate the Vault Hunters in BL1?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]SourCreamSuicide -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Where can I get my own buttstalion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]iamtehfong -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Where did your handsome face come from?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HannaShift -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Will Athena die in the end (Either under HJack's hands or Tiny Tina) ? Also , Will Maliwan, Vladof , Tediore and Hyperion have completely brand new weapons (does not have the same texture skins) ?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Houghbert meat bicycle anyone? -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you ever regret getting Butt Stallion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]qSolar -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Did you name Butt Stalion after yourself?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]alexrw214 -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

A grape is a type of fruit, so grapefruit is redundant. Your thoughts?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]medickal_assist Time to put on my pirate hat -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

If you are better than me, that means I'm better than you by being worse than you, checkmate Handsome Jack, give me the keys to Hyperion now!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Do you have any plans to replace Butt-Stallion in the past?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]dgspai -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Where you bought the Butt Stallion? :D

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]iamtehfong -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you ever seen Zer0's face? Is it true he's more handsome than you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]drayfrjg -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

So serious question, how come when the Vault Hunters die they regenerate via the New-U station, but when you killed Roland he did not? There was just this small inconsistency in your plot line.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]iamtehfong -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Guess what, you self important, weird faced, vainglorious dick? In the future, I'm going to murder your daughter, then murder you. Deal with it

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MrDrHoneybot -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey Jack, just thought I'd let you know it was me who off'd your girlfriend back in Lynchwood and right before I put a bullet between her pretty little eyes she told me I was more of a badass than you ever could be. Also that my gun was bigger than yours.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Would you rather fight 100 jackdaw sized Handsome Jacks or 1 Handsome Jack sized jackdaw?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Anubiska -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago* (0 children)

Hi Jack, what's up with your face? How many times did you stab Lilith to watch her heal?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]CombinationPrime -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

So, is the Hyperion space station shaped like an H because it's made by Hyperion, or is that just a coincidence of design?

Also, are Hyperion Corporation and/or you responsible for Krieg? If so, where and what do I pay to get more like him?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Wade1423 SHUT THE F**k UP STEVE! -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Why didnt you respawn? Dont you own the company in charge of it?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Imbetterthanjack -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey, will we ever get to see your face on a PS4/Xbox one?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]AidenTheHuman -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Has anyone nicknamed you HJ and do you proceed to reward that person with a hand job?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]70541 -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Alright will borderlands bring more gun designs to the fold instead of just different weapon damage/damage type?

Talkin about gun DESIGN how they look I mean. Borderlands 2 really didn't bring much of a change to the gun appearances...Not saying I ShOULD be picky about how they look given there was a pretty good RNG system about how the perform but I guess I just got a bit melancholy looking at the same gun AGAIN but with better stats.

I understand the moon will be littered with Hyperion tech but I can't help but want more in the design department for guns and to put it bluntly the previews of 3 leaves me thinking not much change was done to it.

IE: 38BAZILLION guns... 12 varying gun designs.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]jpagel -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

No offense, but I'd rather see another Torgue AMA. His was epic

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]CrackLawliet Accuracy's overrated anyway... -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

If you had a doppelganger, what would his special ability - an action skill, if you would - be?

Love your work!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]xenodamus -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

i purpose this question. if everything any vault hunter has ever killed including the vault hunters themselves are stored in the new u station. Wouldn't that mean everyone is immortal ? thus making the entire events that have happened on Pandora thus far null and void. So i purpose this question are you guys everyone at Hyperion etc essentially gods who reenact the same events over and over simply because you are bored. or is it and endless waltz where technology has surpassed humans to such a degree that they are cursed to live over and over never really dying. or is it your clones that the new u station spawns to essentially the clones are still fighting a war long past because that's all they remember up to the original persons death so essentially they die in the same fashion over and over?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Kingboomber -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

What did you do with Bloodwings' body after you um.."surprised' Mordecai and the vault hunter at the Wildlife Reserve?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]DANNYonPC -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Why does your company's machine keep respawning the vault hunters?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Benskien -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

What do you think of Tiny Tina? and have you considered to get another diamond-encrusted poney as a friend for Butt Stallion?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]mackejn -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

When are we going to get a REAL Borderlands sequel with a REAL hero? When are we getting Borderlands 3?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]FrickOffRandy -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

1. Would you rather lick Ellie's butthole or lose that handsome face?

2. Do you ever kick it with mr. Torque? Dude is hilarious

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]lilPatrickstar -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey handsome jack who do you think is cooler bloodwing or butt stallion?
I think bloodwing because he can turn any element he wants too and but stallion is just made of diamonds

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Is Hyperion broke? A year since PS4 and XB1and only current gen releases. You wont get my money.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you a Bandit?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Imbetterthanjack -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Hey remember when I murdered your girlfriend after robbing her bank?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Niick I Disappear -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago* (0 children)

Hey jerk, what's up with regional pricing over here in New Zealand? I need my fix but I'm not keen on paying your inflated prices.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]RudyJack -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

I thought you are dead.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]HannaShift -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Eh. I guess I have heard someone mention on FB that it's Anton Bu***. I should not waste my time and hope for reply back. Seriously.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ashhhhjx -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

What are the chances I'd be lucky enough to spend some time with you? Wait, I mean, what are the chances YOU'RE lucky enough to spend some time with me? ;) xx

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]nosferatu1011 -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

How is Butt Stallion doing?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]RedSilverFish -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Will you be a playable charachter in the new pre-sequel? if so, who will be?

edit: also, why did you imprisoned Angel? couldn't you kidnap another siren?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]rudeboyrasta420 -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Why would you allow the vault hunters to respawn on your new u systems? Like at first i could see keepin em around for the extra cash, but once they started gettin close? coulda ended it with one click.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]FPSdiesel -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Ass or titties?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]A_SWORDS_SOUL -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Why did you shutdown Claptraps a production line?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]GunslingHer -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you good violin player? Are we ever gonna see you/ hear you playing violin again?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Why do you hate the vault hunters so much?

Also what happens,if i give you thomas helmet(daft punk)would you wear it look all cool and handsome?

And shiny?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

And also are you part of the glorious pc master race? If you are then its good to have a brother like you.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ItsMrPasquali -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Why isn't it on on demand yet for x360?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]seattletono -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Are you still reading new questions on this thread for no apparent reason?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]niko213 -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Who did you enjoy killing the most?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]AccelDX -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

So how did Nisha killed off the ol' Booze Bitch that was her mother?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Raiden63 -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

If you had instead given Butt Stallion a name in honor of yourself, what would it be? Or did you already do that?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]NocturnalBeing -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

What the fuck is an Orbatron?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]iamtehfong -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago (0 children)

What does Butt Stallion eat?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]IAmDotorg -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I heard a rumor in a bar on Pandora you had some sort of side thing going on with Tiny Tina.

That's nasty man, you're way too old. You should be ashamed of yourself.

(How was she?)

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]tensam -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Game time - Kill. Fuck. Marry.

Claptrap. Me. Claptrap again.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Xanlis -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago (0 children)

want another pony than buttstalion ?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ClassicRetroGaming -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I try to win me a free Borderlands The Pre-Sequel copy, but I fail on every contest.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]dookhut -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Does buttstallion poop diamonds?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago (0 children)

From Steve Urkel to OJ Simpson how dark is your sense of humor?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MizuAKB Don't mess with me or you'll get it >.> -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Question how did you get Butt Stallion? O_O I want one.

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]zeke10 -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

How much did you have to pay Wilhelm to help?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]MizuAKB Don't mess with me or you'll get it >.> -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

How do you stay sane around all of those robots?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Stonethunder -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Have you ever wished you were, or referred to yourself as, a "Wizard"?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]maxwell-von-streisen -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago (0 children)

waz up handsome jack, now if you had a chance between blowing up the moon along with everyone you know and love but also including every claptrap unit, with the frekkin huge laser on your moon base or being ugly what would you choose?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Zerthyam -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (1 child)

Dear Handsome Jack, I found a very weird gun made by your company. http://imgur.com/o0z7CyU Explain to me, how the hell did you manage to make an E-tech gun without it being elemental?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Zerthyam 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Love your guns btw

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]BlahMedusa -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

How do you get your hair to 'swoosh' like that?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ApertureKills -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Did you watch Ghost Dad with Mister Torgue? And did either of you cry?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]KriegNippleSalads -2 points-1 points 0 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Nipple Salads!!! What is your opinion on the Conductor of the Poop Train? Also is it possible that you could be a DLC character in the Pre-Sequel? Btw Moxxi says your little ting ting looks like 2 cannible midgets in a fat guys ribcage. What do you think of that? Nipple Salads!!!! Moxxi is a siren o.o

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]ClaptrapFragtrap -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

HEY JACK! Wanna hear the new dub-step song i wrote?WUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUB! DROP!.... wubwubwub!

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, just how handsome are you?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (2 children)

No C?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–][deleted] 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

C A Masked John :o

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 9 points 10 points 11 points 9 years ago (3 children)

They are not. They are simply a mechanic, and Anthony Burch has stated that he would take out the taunts if he could do it over again, because it makes it seem like more than just a mechanic. I like the taunts though.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Evil4Zerggin 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (2 children)

Complicating this is the blurb for Tales from the Borderlands, which states

> On the savage Borderlands of Pandora, mighty warriors braved unimaginable perils in search of alien treasure troves. We call these heroes "Vault Hunters." But there are others. They have no access to New-U stations, nor do they enjoy the benefits of being a one-man army. For them, death is permanent, and although being on the right end of a gun is helpful, it’s their other talents that prove invaluable.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! 3 points 4 points 5 points 9 years ago (1 child)

Things that make ya go hmmmmmm.

Perhaps, like the New U stations themselves, not having them is just a necessary mechanic? A TellTale game where you don't have to live with/die from a terrible decision is NOT a TellTale game. Take The Walking Dead, for example. "LOOK AT HOW BAD YOUR DECISION IS, LOOK AT IT. YOU SCREWED EVERYBODY OVER AND GOT SOMEONE KILLED. HOW DO YOU FEEL, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!? RESPAWN? THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, RESPAWN? YOU GOTTA LIVE WITH THIS SHIT, ASSHOLE! MY THROAT HURTS FROM ALL THIS YELLING, THAT'S YOUR FAULT TOO! FUCK YOU!"

I mean, yeah, you can fail QTEs in The Walking Dead and die, so I'm sure that will be in TftB, but I'm fairly certain they're gonna end up making you live with whatever choices you make. Hopefully with less soul-rending pain and more humor than TWD.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]Evil4Zerggin 1 point 2 points 3 points 9 years ago (0 children)

I agree that it's a necessary mechanic (or lack thereof). The problem is, like the taunts, that part of the blurb is written in a decidedly in-character tone; it talks about the universe of Borderlands as if it were a real thing rather than Borderlands as a collection of game mechanics.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–][deleted] 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

bahaha, did you expect anything less?

- permalink
- save
- report

[–]Spider_Riviera WANT IT! NEED IT GOTTA HAVE IT! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Don't worry about it Jack, this one's on me.

Now where did I throw that bludgeoning hammer....

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[+]AJockeysBallsack SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT! THE HELL! UP! comment score below threshold-19 points-18 points-17 points 9 years ago* (0 children)

[–]chetoflep 2 points 3 points 4 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Jack, pls

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]decinis Blake! Violin! 0 points 1 point 2 points 9 years ago (0 children)

Blasphemy of the highest order.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

[–]totes_meta_bot -1 points 0 points 1 point 9 years ago (0 children)

This thread has been linked to from elsewhere on reddit.

- [/r/GamerGhazi] [OT] Handsome Jack on revenge nude pics

If you follow any of the above links, respect the rules of reddit and don't vote or comment. Questions? Abuse? Message me here.

- permalink
- save
- parent
- report

π Rendered by PID 30865 on reddit-service-r2-comment-5bcf44f45b-f7ww7 at 2024-02-17 14:32:35.404323+00:00 running 5b0a0b2 country code: IL.