2024-11-30 4:48:39 ¶ ● ⬈

chantillyxlacey:

> i’ve seen a lot of takes (i am using the word ‘take’ absolutely neutrally here; and i’m specifying neutrality bc i have started to see that word as having inherently negative connotations in this context and i have no idea if that’s just a Me Problem but i figured specificity couldn’t hurt)

> okay, that got away from me, let me start again

> i’ve seen a lot of takes about The Damsel that have to do with idealization being another kind of dehumanization and how she’s Like She Is because you/TLQ are projecting a fantasy onto her and sanding away any traits that don’t fit into that fantasy and rendering her into little more than a vessel for your/TLQ’s wish fulfillment

> and i don’t necessarily think that’s *wrong* either– but i think that’s also not the complete picture, and that only looking that that half of the image does kind of tend to paint TLQ in an unfairly bad light

> because the thing is, in The Damsel’s route, TLQ is ALSO being reduced to an archetype just as much as The Damsel herself is! The Princess becomes the quintessential fairytale fair-maiden-in-distress that exists only to be rescued by a knight-in-shining-armor; and TLQ– if you allow them to be guided entirely by The Smitten– becomes that quintessential fairytale knight-in-shining-armor that only exists to rescue the fair-maiden-in-distress

> The Damsel says over and over, explicitly, that “I just want to make you happy!” and The Smitten in this route is equally preoccupied with making HER happy– he even says it directly if you start deconstructing her. every other part of his identity has been subsumed to revolve entirely around her just as much as the reverse is true for her.

> (speaking of the Deconstructed Damsel, i’ve also seen Smitten’s reaction to that touted as him not caring about her agency– but again, i always read that as him being unable to see any flaws in her rather than being pleased with the idea of her being biddable, specifically. if you halt the deconstruction his reaction is “she’s ALWAYS been perfect” – he’d think that no matter what she did or said, because his identity revolves around her the exact way that hers revolves around him/TLQ)

> even the actions that lead to HEA fit into this, i think– i read that moment as less The Smitten lashing out at her because she didn’t live up to his fantasy– it still happens even after she’s said “i guess we can stay, if that’s what you want”– she’s giving The Smitten what he wants, but he’s still distressed because SHE’S not happy

> i think it’s more The Smitten feeling that HE hadn’t lived up to HIS half of their shared fantasy. if she’s not happy with the idea of “all we need is each other” then it must be because HE failed somehow. if she needs or wants more than him, it must be because HE is not enough.

> if he was just better at playing his part, if he just offered her more, if he was just clearer about his devotion–

> “if we just showed her the contents of our heart, she’d be happy”

> that’s not to say that what The Smitten does in HEA isn’t incredibly toxic for both of them– it definitely is, and it clearly makes both the Princess and TLQ miserable. “everything she doesn’t know she wants” is a bad mindset to approach a relationship with, whether that mindset is reached through controlling selfishness or a desperation to appease (and i definitely think Smitten is motivated by the latter– it’s no coincidence that we arrive at HEA through a literal and fatal act of self mutilation)

> he’s definitely the antagonist of HEA, in that he is what TLQ and the Princess and the player need to overcome, but he’s not a VILLAIN (which i think is most clearly illustrated in the moment where the Princess admits she’s unhappy, that she’s never been happy here, and his reaction is to GIVE UP instead of lash out harder)

> i never got the sense that The Smitten was ever putting any blame on The Damsel– he always considered *himself* to be the problem– he puppeteers TLQ just as much as he does the Princess, even if we can’t hear him while she can, and he asks TLQ/the player through her “isn’t this enough? isn’t this what you wanted?”

> which in and of itself is an unhealthy way to approach a relationship– blaming oneself for every bit of conflict or lapse in synchronicity is just as harmful as laying all the blame on the other person. there IS no blame– sometimes people disagree or have conflicting needs or desires, and that’s not anybody’s “fault” because that’s just how people and relationships WORK.

> …can you believe i wrote out all of this when my original intention was to lay out an entirely different point about a read on The Damsel/HEA routes that wasn’t about relationships at all?

> OKAY!

> THAT GOT AWAY FROM ME LET ME START AGAIN

> Keep reading