## Preface

Kiss the Prisoner
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/58301347.

Rating:
  Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
  Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category:
  F/M
Fandom:
  Slay the Princess (Visual Novel)
Relationships:
  The Long Quiet/The Princess (Slay the Princess), The Long Quiet/The Prisoner (Slay the Princess), The Player | The Hero/The Princess (Slay the Princess), The Player | The Hero/The Prisoner (Slay the Princess), Voice of the Hero/The Prisoner (Slay the Princess), The Prisoner/Voice of the Skeptic (Slay the Princess)
Characters:
  The Prisoner (Slay the Princess), The Princess (Slay the Princess), The Player | The Hero (Slay the Princess), The Long Quiet (Slay the Princess), Voice of the Hero (Slay the Princess), Voice of the Skeptic (Slay the Princess), The Narrator (Slay the Princess)
Additional Tags:
  Trust, Massage, Self-Decapitation, Non-lethal decapitation, Prisoner knows TLQ wants to help but also that the Narrator can take over, The Voices have a bit of resentment for her cutting their throat in chapter 1 but want to help, And everyone tries to keep the Narrator in the dark, Narrator is ready to possess TLQ again, A bit of reading between the lines required, Trying to plot in full earshot of the guy you're plotting against, using memories of your previous life, Cheek Kisses, Kissing, Second chapter is a completely fluffy and optional epilogue, tags for the EPILOGUE:, Romantic Fluff, Dullahan Prisoner, Decapitated Prisoner is a bit clumsy, Acts of Service as a Love Language, Service Submission, no narrator, Hero and Skeptic take turns narrating, Bathing, Headless cuddles, Knighting, Hero is a silly bashful goober, Skeptic is an old soul who's seen it all but loves being in love just as much as Hero, Prisoner's dry humour, Prisoner's flirting is very direct, Shifty is feeling patient today
Language:
  English
Series:
  Part 7 of Kiss the Princess
Stats:
  Published: 2024-08-19 Completed: 2024-08-22 Words: 8,427 Chapters: 2/2

# Kiss the Prisoner

by Vickysaurus

Summary

> The Prisoner and the Slayer both know the Narrator will possess him if he tries to free her. Can they establish trust between them and come up with a plan to outwit the Narrator when He can hear every word they speak? Featuring a fluffy epilogue.

> (What if you could kiss the Prisoner?)

Notes

> This one is set as you descend the stairs to the Prisoner's basement with the blade. You're gonna have to read between the lines a bit, as they're both trying to keep secrets from the Narrator.

See the end of the work for more notes

## Chapter 1: Kiss the Prisoner

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

The Narrator: “The door to the basement creaks open, revealing an old stone staircase. A few sputtering torches attempt to vaguely illuminate your path, dancing across glimmering patches of slimy moss on the stone steps. If the Princess lives here, slaying her would probably be doing her a favour. Her voice, harsh but controlled, carries up the stairs.”

The Princess: “Is that a visitor I hear? Please, come downstairs. It’s been a while since I’ve had company.”

Voice of the Skeptic: “Does she remember us?”

The Narrator: “Clearly she doesn’t, and can’t. The sooner you drop this nonsense about having been here before, the better it will be. Your delusions will only distract you from your mission. You walk downstairs and lock eyes with the Princess. She looks up at you, the heavy collar around her neck clanking loudly as she moves, the chains binding both her wrists to the far wall joining the metallic chorus as she adjusts her hands in her lap.

Voice of the Hero: “Should we be worried about the one around her neck?”

The Narrator: “Why would you be worried about her restraints? If anything, they’ll make your job easier.”

The Princess: “What an interesting development. Why don’t you have a seat? The two of us should chat before you bury that thing in my heart.”

· [Sit with her]

The Narrator: “You step towards the Princess, but she stops you before you get too close, holding up one shackled hand.”

The Princess: “There is fine. I’d prefer we keep some distance until we’ve sorted this out.”

Hero: “That’s reasonable, we do have a weapon. Might as well put her at ease.”

· [Sit where you were told to sit.]

The Narrator: “You do as she asks and sit on the floor, still a good distance away from her.”

The Princess: “Thank you.”

· “So… here we are. What an awkward start to a relationship.”

The Narrator: “The Princess raises an eyebrow and sighs, resting her head in a shackled hand.”

The Princess: “A relationship? Are you coming onto me?”

· “Don’t jump to any weird conclusions. We’re two people who have met each other. By definition, we have a relationship.”

Hero: “Wait, does that mean-”

Skeptic: “Yes, it does.”

The Narrator: “No, it doesn’t. Any interest the Princess shows in you is purely meant to cloud your mind. Remember, her charms are all part of the deception.”

The Princess: “Now, what are your intentions towards me?”

· “My intentions? What do you mean?”

The Princess: “Yes, your intentions. You have a knife. What are you going to do with it? Why are you here? There isn’t a keyhole in these shackles, so I’m afraid my only way out is surgical removal.”

Hero: “Uhh, did she forget about the one around her neck?”

Skeptic: “Or does she think she’d survive a beheading?”

The Narrator: “Yes, perhaps she’s delusional. It would be fitting for a world-ender.”

Skeptic: “She’s wrong, though, there’s another way we could remove her shackles.”

· “Actually, there’s a sturdy metal table bolted to the floor upstairs. I might be able to dismantle it with the blade and then use its pieces as crowbars to break your chains.”

The Narrator: “As if by divine will, you hear a door slam. There is no need for you to go upstairs until your task is finished, and you will not enjoy what happens if you try to break the Princess out.”

Hero: “That’s not fair!”

The Narrator: “Let me just reiterate that the entire world is at stake here. What seems unfair to you is fair for everyone else. I will not allow you to stray from your task and doom everyone.”

Skeptic: “Huh, loose lips sink ships, I see how it is.”

The Princess: “How surprising. They locked you down here too.”

· “No point in trying the door, I think.”

The Princess: “Yes, and no point in making small talk either. Be a good bird and let me borrow that knife. Don’t worry, you’ll get it back.”

Hero: “That’s… ominous.”

Skeptic: “But she seems confident. Whatever it is she has planned, I think she knows what she’s doing.”

The Narrator: “She’s probably just bluffing to disarm you, but if she does have a plan that’s all the more reason not to just give her your only weapon. Aside from the obvious threat to the world’s existence, arming your enemy is an excellent way for you to end up dead.”

· “Whatever you plan to do with it, you can tell me and let me do it.”

The Princess: “Hah. No, I don’t think I can tell you, nor trust you to come any closer to me armed. All you’re going to do is hand the blade to me and watch me work.”

Hero: “But… surely she can’t be planning to cut her head off?”

Skeptic: “Maybe she knows something we don’t. Of course, what’s good for her might not be good for us. I doubt there’s any truth to her ending the world, but a freed Princess might still, for example, decide to cut our throat.”

Hero: “Oh, right! Then what should we do?”

Skeptic: “I don’t know yet. Find out more information, but carefully. Figure out who we can trust and who we can’t in this situation. We know we can trust us, and we know we can’t trust Him, but I don’t know about her yet.”

The Narrator: “You can’t trust me?! What did I ever do to you? I have been nothing but clear about your mission, and you shouldn’t require any explanation why I want you to save the world and might intervene to keep you from going astray.”

· “I have a bad feeling about what might happen if I hand you the blade. You might say I’ve got an irrational fear of people cutting my throat once they’re armed.”

The Narrator: “The Princess stares straight into your eyes.”

The Princess: “Then let me assure you: if you gave me the blade, the only reason I would ever use it on you would be if you suddenly turned around and threatened my life. If I couldn’t recognise the being behind your eyes any more and I thought I was in immediate mortal danger. If it was my only way to escape, then yes, I would cut your throat, but only if things were that dire. I’d do it without malice and I think I would later wish I hadn’t had to kill you. But if my actions were necessary, I would still stand by them. But you do not look threatening or aggressive right now, and as long as you’re no danger to me, I’ll be no danger to you.”

The Narrator: “If you need any more proof you can’t trust the Princess, just read between the lines. Even when trying to reassure you, she threatens you with death.”

Skeptic: “Oh, we’re reading between the lines, alright.”

Hero: “Yeah, don’t you think the only reason she might be dangerous is because of the likes of you locking her up and trying to slay her?”

Skeptic: “Maybe we should let her have the blade. I’d rather take a chance on her than on Him.”

The Narrator: “No, you can’t just do that. It’s far, far too risky, not just to you, but to the entire world… No. I can’t just let you do that. Your hand grips the blade tightly as your body-”

Skeptic: “On second thought, we shouldn’t let her have the blade. Who knows what’d happen if we did? Better to keep it on us.”

The Narrator: “That’s better. The only way in which you should give Princess your weapon is if you gave it point-first directly to her heart.”

· “I’m sorry, I don’t think I can give you the blade. I don’t think either of us would like what would happen if I tried. Nothing could possess me to just let you have it.”

The Narrator: “The Princess sighs and slumps a bit under her heavy chains.”

The Princess: “Great. Now what?”

· “Well, I don’t want to slay you.”

The Princess: “And I don’t want to be slain. Glad we’re on the same page.”

· “But I can’t free you. I think you’ll just need to stay here for a while.”

The Narrator: “The Princess draws a sharp breath, her eyes shooting wide open.”

The Princess: “Don’t leave me here!”

· “I wasn’t going to, I don’t even think I can.”

The Princess: “Just… promise me you’ll take me with you.”

· “I promise.”

The Narrator: “The Princess slumps under the weight of her chains again, the panic fading from her eyes.”

The Princess: “Thank you.”

· “I just meant, we can’t really do much at the moment, so let’s just sit and talk for a bit.”

The Princess: “I don’t like small talk.”

· “Then let’s have big talk. Let’s tell each other about ourselves.”

The Narrator: “The Princess’s eyes narrow.”

The Princess: “You first.”

Hero: “She still doesn’t trust us.”

Skeptic: “I get it, but if only there existed some kind of harmless gab that allowed people to establish some basis of trust first before they move on to bigger topics. We could call it ‘small talk’.”

Hero: “Yeah, well, guess we can start if it helps her trust us.”

The Narrator: “I don’t know what you’re hoping to accomplish here, but be very careful what information you share with the Princess.”

Skeptic: “Oh, we’re being careful with our information, alright.”

· “I’m… me? And I came from… a path in the woods?”

The Princess: “Wow, how enlightening and revealing. You truly have some hidden depths.”

Skeptic: “Where did we come from?”

· “Okay, how about this: there’s three voices in my head. Two of them are me, and I like them a lot. There’s my Hero, he’s brave and naïve and kind. He’s always looking out for the right thing to do, and he wants to do right by you in particular. I think he likes you, actually.”

Hero: “Oh, come on, you didn’t have to tell her that part. Do you... really think I’m brave and kind, though?”

· “He gets easily flustered by the truth. And then there’s my Skeptic. He’s clever, wise, erudite, methodical. He’s slow to trust and questions everything, but only as far as is reasonable. He’s constantly crafting new plans for us.”

Skeptic: “Thank you, I do try.”

The Princess: “Sounds like a prudent Voice. What does he think of me?”

· [Repeat after the Voice of the Skeptic] “He’s… not sure he can trust you yet, but he wants to help you if we can. At the very least, keeping you locked up alone in these heavy chains is inhumane and he wants to find a way to release you. He’s also curious about you, he enjoys trying to figure you out. Wink.”

The Princess: “Did you… just say ‘wink’ out loud?”

Skeptic: “Wink.”

The Princess: “Pleasure to meet you, Voices. You sound… nice. I didn’t realise I was talking to more than one. But two Voices aren’t all that’s inside you, are they?”

The Narrator: “Do not tell the Princess about me.”

· “No. There’s also the Narrator, an intruder. I don’t know where he came from, but it wasn’t from me. He narrates everything that happens to me, and keeps telling me to slay you. He… possesses a great deal of confidence that he’s right. I thought he was just a nuisance at first, but… y’know.”

The Narrator: “I’m confident I’m right because I am right. It was very unwise to share knowledge of my existence with the Princess. Whatever game you’re playing is incredibly dangerous.”

Skeptic: “All in the service of winning her trust. Don’t you think that could be useful?”

The Narrator: “Not as useful as simply slaying her and getting it over with. The longer you wait, the greater the chance she’ll figure out a way to escape and you are dangerously compromised already. I’m allowing you to do whatever it is you think you’re doing for now, but know that my patience is running low and the risk you’re putting the world at is high. If I need to intervene to save the world-”

Skeptic: “There’s no need for that, we do have a plan.”

The Narrator: “Perhaps, but if your plan’s goal is not to slay the Princess, just know that I’m watching your every move closely. Either way, the Princess simply nods slowly at your words.”

The Princess: “Sounds like you do have a rich inner life. I can’t say I have any voices in my head. Just me. It was… lonely before you arrived. I can’t even recall how long I’ve been here, I’ve just… forgotten. At least it’s been more interesting since you showed up, the view has improved, but after all this time all I’ve got left is just… I want to get out. There’s nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice to feel the breeze.”

The Narrator: “The Princess sighs and slumps even further under the weight of her chains, looking down at her lap.”

Hero: “This isn’t right, locking someone up all isolated and restrained. No comfort or nothing.”

Skeptic: “Yeah. Nothing here without a purpose, aside from that other chain… I wonder what it’s for.”

Hero: “Does it matter? It looks like she can barely even lie down on the stone floor to sleep with those chains on her. Who did this to her? Was it you?”

The Narrator: “People did this, and they had very good reasons to do so. Letting the Princess play on your sympathy is incredibly dangerous.”

· “Do those chains hurt you?”

The Princess: “I’m not sure… I think so. It’s been so long it’s like the feeling is just a part of me. I just… want to be free. If it came to it, I’d rather die than live on like this.”

The Narrator: “As I’ve told you before, slaying the Princess would probably be doing her a favour.”

Skeptic: “There are other ways to offer her relief.”

· “I could… hold the chains for you for a while? Take some of their weight off you.”

The Narrator: “The Princess stares at you sharply.”

The Princess: “Letting you get behind me would be a huge risk to take. What could possibly possess me to trust you like that?”

Hero: “Oh, we should drop the blade to show her we mean no harm.”

The Narrator: “Do not disarm yourself, especially to approach the Princess. I can’t let you make such a catastrophic mistake.”

Skeptic: “Actually, I’m with Him on this. Call it a hunch, but I’d rather not face her unarmed.”

Hero: “Even now? I thought we wanted to save her?”

Skeptic: “Yeah, well, we can’t save her, and a cornered animal might make desperate leaps. We can offer her comfort without risking our life.”

The Narrator: “The Princess doesn’t deserve comfort.”

Skeptic: “Funny, I didn’t take you for a cruel person. Desperate, yes, but not cruel.”

The Narrator: “I am not, I’m simply trying to look out for the world’s safety and continued existence.”

Skeptic: “Then surely there’s no harm in letting the Princess experience some relief before the end?”

Hero: “The end?”

The Narrator: “The end?”

Skeptic: “Well. As much as I hate to admit it, there’s really no way to free her. And you heard what she said she’d choose if it came to it.”

Hero: “You can’t mean what I think you mean. There’s always another way.”

Skeptic: “A sudden death, unexpected and without fear, while she’s experiencing some relief from her burdens might be the greatest kindness we could grant her.”

The Narrator: “While I would caution you not to trust to those little Voices, because they’re definitely up to something, this one does at least seem to have landed on a good idea. Proceed.”

· “I can’t prove it to you, but you can trust me. I swear I won’t let anything happen. Please let me help you.”

The Narrator: “The Princess silently stares deep into your eyes for a long time, still as a statue before deciding.”

The Princess: “...Okay. I will trust you.”

The Narrator: “Slowly, to show you mean no immediate harm, you stand up and walk to the Princess, letting her scooch over as she keeps her eyes boring into you the entire time. You gather up her chains and lay them over your shoulders as you sit down behind her, their heavy load weighing you down, only the weight of their last few links now on her. The Princess finally takes her keen eyes off you. She takes a moment to stretch her back, sighs and rolls her shoulders.”

· “Better?”

The Princess: “Much. I’d forgotten how it felt like, not being weighed down. It feels like I’m floating. Thank you. Put those hands to good use if you’re gonna sit there anyway, I could use a massage.”

Hero: “Woah, she’s very direct, isn’t she? Guess we’d better give it to her.”

The Narrator: “What you should be giving her is a quick stab in the back.”

Skeptic: “Have some patience, there’s no need to rush into anything. Let the poor thing have her comfort.”

· “As you wish.” [Massage the Princess]

The Narrator: “You brush the Princess’s hair aside and gently run your hands over her bare shoulders, already feeling the tight knots and severe tension underneath. Although her tensed up muscles are not particularly big, you can feel a dangerous wiry strength in them. You gently dig your hands in, softly kneading her sore flesh. Your own body is already starting to tire and stiffen up from the chains’ weight, it’s hard to imagine how the Princess must feel after so long. She sighs and closes her eyes, leans on you a bit.”

· “Like this?”

The Princess: “Yes. A little harder… I’ll miss this…”

The Narrator: “As you roll the muscles of the Princess’s shoulders, her chain preventing you from showing the same kind of attention to her neck, you feel her slowly relax. Her breaths deep and slow, she slowly moves closer, scooches up between your legs, lets herself sink against your body more and more. It actually makes it hard to get to the muscles of her back, but you don’t mind, there’s plenty of work to do rubbing the rest of her shoulders. You let your hands wrap around their front, pressing your thumbs into the tops of her shoulders while letting your other fingers reach to her armpits and roll the muscle there, tracing them down just a little as you feel her body become softer. The Princess just about melts against you, far more at ease than you’re ever seen her before. Her chained hand finds your knee and softly runs elegant fingers through your plumage. Neither of you speak a word for a long time, simply existing in comfort at each other’s proximity, the Princess’s heavy restrictive burden finally relieved.”

Hero: “This is… good. I’m glad we can let her have this at least.”

The Narrator: “Just don’t forget why you’re here.”

Skeptic: “The plan, you mean? Don’t worry, we’ll get to the plan.”

The Narrator: “After what seems like ages of soft affection and comfortable silence, the Princess slowly turns in your lap to face you, her body splayed all over yours, her chains crossing themselves between you. Her face is as impassive as ever, yet looks more at ease, the barest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth and eyes. She stares into your eyes intensely, holding your gaze. Then she throws her arms around your shoulders and embraces you tightly.”

The Princess: “Thank you.”

The Narrator: “She whispers it in your ear and then, ugh, you feel the soft touch of a kiss on your cheek. She keeps her lips in place for a couple seconds as you just take her in all over you, the soft warmth of her body clashing with the unpleasantly hard chains running between you. You could stay like this forever. Then the moment is interrupted by a sudden rush of movement. A shove and a kick turn you around, the Princess wraps her chains around your neck and arms in a single fluid move. She leans back, bracing her body against yours, her full chained weight pulling on you, forcing you to the ground. The chain links constrict around your windpipe as the Princess heaves with a loosely muscled intensity.”

The Princess: “Drop the knife or you die!”

Hero: “Wh-what? But I thought we-”

Skeptic: “There’ll be time to think later, we should do as she says right now. Not like we have much choice.”

The Narrator: “I warned you about the Princess’s wiles, but thankfully, while strangulation takes time, being stabbed is much quicker. You have plenty of time to slay her.”

· [Drop the blade]

The Narrator: “No, you- Your body holds on to the blade tightly.”

Skeptic: “Sorry, already dropped it. Split second decision in the heat of combat and all that.”

The Narrator: “Ugh, of all the incompetent… Yes, it seems you dropped the blade. The Princess spins around and shoves you away with a swift kick, releasing you from her stranglehold. As you come to on the ground, regaining your senses, you look up at her in a daze.”

The Princess: “Thanks again. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

The Narrator: “She pulls up her hair, smiling slightly as she raises the blade to her throat.”

Hero: “What is she doing?”

The Narrator: “She doesn’t say another word as she cuts into her own neck.”

Hero: “No!”

The Narrator: “Her eyes stare into you, unblinking, as she saws through skin, veins, and cartilage. At last she reaches bone, the blade grinding audibly against her vertebrae as it continues to slice its way through her neck.”

Skeptic: “Huh. So that’s her plan.”

Hero: “Killing herself?”

Skeptic: “She ain’t dead yet.”

The Narrator: “She’s actually doing your job for you, did she really mean what she said about rather dying than remaining imprisoned? You hear a snap. Her eye twitches. There’s an uneasy silence. She remains motionless for a long moment, her twitching eye the only movement in the room, until at last it stops in an unsettling half-wink. Her head twists slowly to the side, flopping to her shoulder and her neck… opens. The remaining tissue is not enough to hold the weight of her severed head. It stretches and tears until finally, it falls to the floor, completely free. It bounces a few times before rolling to a stop at your feet.”

Hero: “Oh nonononono, what did we do? Can we put it back? Please tell me we can put it back!”

The Narrator: “The Princess’s head stares up at you, dead. Congratulations, you have saved the world!”

Hero: “No, no, this is horrible, I hate this, can we please leave?”

The Narrator: “Of course. You hear the door upstairs unlock. You have saved the world, despite your lack of determination, and it’s time for you to receive your reward.”

Skeptic: “We should take her with us, don’t you think?”

The Narrator: “Why on Earth would you do that?”

Skeptic: “I can think of lots of reasons. Proof of our victory. A trophy. To give her a proper funeral.”

The Narrator: “You don’t need proof, and the Princess doesn’t deserve a proper funeral.”

Skeptic: “Even now, when you’ve won, you still can’t let her have anything, can you? All I’m saying is we should treat her with a little dignity. It’s not like a little compassion will be the end of the world.”

Hero: “I get what you’re saying, but I just can’t look at her any more, can we please just go? Why’d we have to keep the knife on us…?”

· [Take the Princess’s head]

The Narrator: “Yuck, fine. You lift the Princess’s head by the hair, her severed neck still oozing various fluids. With your grim trophy in hand, you head up the stairs, returning to the cabin’s first floor.”

Hero: “Wait, did she just move?”

The Narrator: “Do I need to explain to you why decapitation is lethal? If there was any movement, it will have been the result of gravity and you handling her head like it’s a garbage bag. Regardless, it is time for you to receive your reward. You open the cabin door, ready to return to a world saved from certain doom. Only, a world saved from certain doom isn’t what you find. Instead what you find is – wait, no, that’s not right.”

The Princess: “Very well played. I’m so glad my trust wasn’t misplaced.”

The Narrator: “What? How can this be? No, she got out, this… this is the end of the world! You and the Princess… share a laugh at my expense about it? Were you plotting against me the whole time? What have you…”

Hero: “She’s still alive?”

Skeptic: “I thought so, she clearly had a plan and it couldn’t just be a plan to die. She could’ve asked us for that directly.”

· “I’m so glad you’re still alive!”

The Princess: “(sighs) And I’m so glad to finally be free. How’s our intruder doing?”

· “I think He’s gone. We beat Him, we can finally speak freely!”

The Princess: “Fantastic. But first things first, this is no way to hold a Princess. Sit down with your knees up and hold me between them so we can talk face-to-face.”

Hero: “Oh. Yeah, guess we shouldn’t hold her by the hair. In our defence, we were a bit shook by the whole decapitation business.”

Skeptic: “We’ll do as she asks, sit down on the hillside and hold her between our knees at eye level.”

The Princess: “That’s much better. Sorry about the strangulation, I had to make it look good for your Narrator.”

· “I was wondering when you’d go for the blade. We were stringing Him along by pretending we were gonna stab you in the back eventually.”

Hero: “Oh, was that why-”

Skeptic: “Yep. Had to keep Him happy somehow so He didn’t try and take over our body again.”

The Princess: “I was gonna do it sooner, but that massage was such a nice goodbye to my body. At least all that’s behind us now. There’s a lot I’m gonna need you to do soon, starting with retrieving my tiara, because you dropped it when you picked me up, and while you’re at it you can break my body out too with that crowbar plan of yours. But let’s just take a break for now.”

· “Wish I hadn’t talked about that crowbar plan, maybe you wouldn’t have had to cut off your head.”

The Princess: “...You can’t see it but I just shrugged my shoulders. It’s not like He would’ve actually let you go through with all that without possessing you again. And it made it obvious to both of us that loose lips sink ships. Besides, this is but a small sacrifice to feel the breeze… It feels so good to be out of there. Thank you again for playing along so well.”

Hero: “Sorry, how’d we come up with a plan anyway? I think I missed that.”

Skeptic: “We told each other everything we needed to know, just carefully so He wouldn’t figure it out. And then we just had to trust each other a bit and get the blade to her. I figured she probably knew what she was doing, and she did make us promise not to leave her behind after all.”

· “You’re welcome. Thank you for not cutting my throat this time.”

The Princess: “Thank you for keeping us clear of you getting possessed again, I did not enjoy that. Could you… Lie back and lay me on your chest? I’d like to look up at the stars.”

· “Sure. Are the stars the only reason?” [Lay down and let the Princess lie on your chest]

The Princess: “No, you’re also quite comfortable, more so than the ground, I’d imagine.”

· “Also you’d probably roll downhill.”

The Princess: “Heh. Shut up. You know, you’re the first time I ever felt comfort?”

Skeptic: “That’s awful to think about. And… odd, but then again it’s not like we can remember anything that happened before the first time on the path either. We’ll need to investigate our memories later.”

Hero: “Let’s just… pet her hair a little. Show her we care.”

· “That’s… pretty sad.”

The Princess: “It is what it is. I could get used to this, though.”

· “Me being your pillow?”

The Princess: “Yes. And you doing what I say and helping me out.”

Hero: “It does, like, feel kind of good to be of service to her and all, doesn’t it?”

· “Then what would you have me do, Princess?”

The Princess: “Hmm. You may pick me up and hold me to face you.”

Skeptic: “We’ll hold her gently, cupping her cheeks this time.”

Hero: “She’s uh, got a bit of a smirk going, doesn’t she? Do all her smiles have to look so ominous? It’s like she can see right into us… Uh, if you can, hi Princess?”

The Princess: “Good bird. Brush my hair out of my face.”

Hero: “Really shouldn’t have dropped her tiara, helping her out with her hair is the least we can do, I guess. There, much better already.”

The Princess: “Thanks. Now you may kiss me.”

Hero: “Bwuh? Just like that?”

Skeptic: “If you don’t want to we can say no. But I’m up for it, I’m rather enjoying her games.”

Hero: “No, I’d, uh, definitely like to kiss her, just wasn’t expecting it. She really knows what she wants, huh? I like that.”

Skeptic: “Yeah. So let’s give it to her. We’ll take a deep breath and steel our nerves, meet her clever eyes and her smirk. Her being reduced to simply a head, we’ll slowly lower her towards us, gently and smoothly. We can match her smile, give her a little eyebrow raise before we lock in and close our eyes. And then… Well, it’s good, isn’t it?”

Hero: “Uh, yeah it is. Gentle and delicate, her lips are soft and warm. The way she responds feels free, unbothered and unrestrained, yet calm. It’s just a little kiss, but, y’know, a real good one. We lift her up a bit again but keep her close to us, where we want her, just a touch away. There’s a real cheekiness to that dark smile of hers.”

The Princess: “Good bird. I think I’m gonna be just fine…”

Chapter End Notes

> The art of the Princess enjoying her massage may be found at https://www.tumblr.com/vickysaurus-art/772586136346476544/the-narrator-you-brush-the-princesss-hair-aside?source=share

> Make sure to leave a comment and let me know what you think of this one!

## Chapter 2: Epilogue

Chapter Summary

> Alright, I felt like writing a bit more of these two and having some fun with headless Prisoner, so here's an epilogue. This is complete fluff, don't expect any more plot and if plot is what you're here for feel free to skip this. Otherwise, enjoy.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

The Princess: “This is fun. But I think it would be more fun if I had my body back.”

Voice of the Hero: “We’re still a little busy just… running our hand through her hair as we hold her head, basking in the kiss’s afterglow. I don’t want the moment to end yet…”

The Princess: “Come, stop looking at me like that. Be a good bird and go get my body. As well as my tiara.”

· [Reluctantly get up] “Fine, Princess. I’ll go get it.”

The Princess: “Thank you. I know getting up must be such a terrible ordeal.”

Voice of the Skeptic: “We return to the cabin’s inside and it’s bizarre to see it again, though it’s only been a little while. So much happened here, and it is an obvious prison. We’re definitely a bit tense, and though the Princess pretends she doesn’t care you can tell by the tightness around her lips and eyes it’s worse for her. We do offer to leave her outside, but she dismisses the idea quickly. We get to work on the table first to spend as little time as possible in the basement. The blade is not exactly the ideal tool to dismantle it, and it takes us a long time and quite a few accidental cuts into our fingers, but without the Narrator breathing down our neck it’s doable. We manage to obtain a leg and one of the sturdy horizontal beams. We open the door to the basement and pause, both of us reluctant to go back down. Wordlessly, we jam the table’s leg into the door's hinges so it can’t possibly close behind us. We look into the Princess’s eyes, and though neither of us says a word there’s a great sadness in them. She just pulls a brief, wryly sad smile and slowly blinks to let us know it’s gonna be okay. And then we go downstairs.”

Hero: “Remember when we first came down here? She was right the- Oh, I really hate seeing her headless body again… It’s so hard to- YAAAARGH!”

The Princess: “What? I thought you knew I could still move it.”

Hero: “She says it very matter-of-factly but she can’t hide that little smirk.”

· “Okay, you got me. Good prank, Princess.”

The Princess: “I don’t joke around.”

Skeptic: “Yeah, haven’t you noticed she’s always serious? Wink. Well, we’ll place her tiara back on her head first, carefully arranging it back into her hair. She does complain about her back braid being undone, but I’d rather get to that when we're outside the basement. So we get to freeing her body. It’s heavy and tiresome work, breaking the chains, but with both our own strength and the Princess’s body’s on the weakest link, our impromptu crowbar manages to break the chains. Nothing we can do about her cuffs for now, but she can get out at least. We gently hand her head to her body like it’s a precious treasure.”

Hero: “I mean. It is.”

The Princess: “Thank you. Now let’s get out of here.”

Hero: “She takes a few bold, confident strides across the basement before immediately tripping over the first stair. We dash forward and manage to catch her head before she hurts herself.”

· “You okay?”

The Princess: “Fine, thank you. Coordinating my body from this perspective is not as easy as it looks.”

· “Then let me help you. Aaaaand scoop!” [Carry the Princess upstairs]

Hero: “We scoop up the Princess’s body in our arms, letting her carry her own head. Her eyebrows actually shoot up for a moment before she composes herself into that impassive face she usually has. But, y’know, she’s definitely impressed.”

The Princess: “I can get up the stairs myself. But thank you. Always so very helpful.”

Skeptic: “She is pretty heavy, so we’ll take it easy and carefully, wouldn’t do to tumble down the stairs together. Carrying the Princess in our arms, we make our way through the cabin and out of the door once more. The Princess lifts her head up to ours and tries to kiss us on the cheek again, but she’s a bit uncoordinated and gets our plumicorn instead, doing her best to play it off like it was intentional. We gently set her down on her feet, trying to hide how tired we are.”

The Princess: “What, aren’t you going to carry me downhill too?”

Hero: “Well, if the Princess would like us to we should-”

Skeptic: “Calm down, buddy, we’d just end up dropping her.”

Hero: “I don’t think so, we’re strong, we can keep going. We wouldn’t ever drop her.”

Skeptic: “It’s okay, we got to show off a bit already, I’m sure she’s very impressed, now let’s just be sensible.”

· “Why don’t you just walk down? It’ll be good practice and I can hold your hand to steady you.”

Hero: “The Princess slightly raises a single eyebrow and offers her right hand. We take it, of course, feel her long fingers in ours, let our thumb pet the back of her hand.”

Skeptic: “Her hand does feel a bit cool, but not icy or anything. Clearly her heart kept beating the whole time. She’s fascinating, I wonder how her body and head can live on separately yet she can still control her-”

Hero: “Pay attention, she tripped! Luckily our hand helps steady her so she doesn't fall.”

The Princess: “Thank you, this really is taking some getting used to, though I’m sure I’ll learn to control my body properly from a different point of view with time. Now I’d like to find some water to bathe and clean the blood off me, so we’ll need to keep going downward.”

· “Sure, I don’t think I’ve seen any yet but there must be some water around. By the way, how did you survive decapitation? How did you know you would?”

The Princess: “I saw you return from the death, so it just seemed like a sensible deduction I would survive too. Maybe come back in a different world, or maybe something else would happen if I did it to myself. It'd be an interesting data point either way. I also just had a feeling I could do it, as long as my heart’s still beating. I know those are not the best answers but they’re the only answers I have for now. I’d love to figure out that mystery and that of our lost memories, but I wouldn’t know where to start right now.”

Skeptic: “I get it. There’s plenty of mysteries to go around, but I think with some time and thought we can figure them out together eventually. We’ll give her hand a fond squeeze to say as much.”

· “I look forward to figuring it out together. Hey, does that sound like water to you, off the path over there?”

The Princess: “I don’t know, I’ve never heard water before. My eyes are down here, by the way. You keep looking at my neck.”

· “Sorry, tough habit to kick.”

The Princess: “Maybe I should hold my head up high like this instead? Oh, this could be very useful looking out for water. Also it’s pretty fun to look down on you. That crest is quite iridescent.”

Hero: “She likes our crest! We should raise it a bit, show her how nice it shimmers.”

Skeptic: “Just be ready to catch her if we need to, terrain’s getting rough here.”

The Princess: “I think I see a waterfall. Perfect. If we can clamber down to the ledge there it’ll be an ideal spot to bathe.”

Hero: “Alright, let’s guide her there, holding her by the hand. The rocks and plants make the going slow and a bit tough but together we’re in no danger, really. Takes us a while to get there, but it’s a beautiful little spot, isn’t it? The ledge is wide enough that we’re in no danger of falling into the pond below that the waterfall goes into or the quick stream that flows out of it. Takes us a little while to reach the ledge, but here we are, the roar of the water so close by, the waterfall just on the other side of that big rock. Even the air around here feels- WOAH, HEY!”

Skeptic: “Huh, that dress comes off real quickly, doesn’t it?”

Hero: “LookAwayLookAwayLookAwayLookAway!”

Skeptic: “I think it’s probably fine, she’s the one who suddenly- No, I guess we’re looking away and hiding our face.”

The Princess: “Like I said, I’m here to bathe. If you aren’t planning on joining me you can stay here and keep an eye on my clothes.”

· [Inarticulate mumbling]

Skeptic: “Alright buddy, calm down, she’s gone to the fall, we can look again.”

Hero: “R-right. That, uh, was a whole lot of pale skin all at once, huh? ...And that’s her dress draped over the rock.”

Skeptic: “Sure is. You know we’re naked too, right?”

Hero: “That’s different!”

Skeptic: “Different how?”

Hero: “We have feathers!”

Skeptic: “So? She has hair.”

Hero: “Yeah, but not- Look, i-it's just different!”

Skeptic: “...You know, there was kind of an implied invitation to join her.”

Hero: “Right, but we definitely can’t do that!”

Skeptic: “I mean, if she said it’s okay… She’s pretty direct, she’d tell us to scram before taking her clothes off if she wanted her privacy. But if that’d be moving too fast for you we can stay where we are.”

Hero: “Th-thanks. Just stay here and not think about the Princess naked just on the other side of the rock…”

The Princess: (Muted yelp)

· “Princess?!”

The Princess: “Almost dropped my head down the cascade, but I'm okay!”

· “Please be careful with that!”

The Princess: “Thank you, I figured that out myself.”

Hero: “Imagine if we had to dive into the pond to- Ohhh dear here she comes again, look away!”

The Princess: “That’s much better, I feel refreshed. You, on the other hand, look overheated. Here, squeeze my hair dry.”

Skeptic: “Heh, she just handed us her head. And judging by that look on her face, she definitely sees the humour in it. We’ll help her bunch up her hair and gently squeeze the water out. Looks like she did get all the blood out, that’s nice.”

· “Can you get dressed yourself?”

The Princess: “Yes, it’s a little tricky from this perspective but I can do it. I’d tell you to help, but you seem a bit uncomfortable.”

Hero: “Oh no, she can see right through us…”

Skeptic: “That’s not a bad thing, buddy.”

· “Thanks. I really like you, but uh… Y’know, I might die.”

The Princess: “Wouldn’t want that.”

Skeptic: “We sit there on the beautiful rocky ledge for a while, squeezing the water out of the Princess’s long hair and gently combing our fingers through it while we hear her body stumble around behind us. She bumps into our shoulder, her face tight with concentration.”

· “Do you need me to help after all?”

The Princess: “No, I need to learn to do this. Besides, killing you once was enough.”

Hero: “That’s a bit dark. She stumbles around some more, the waterfall's roar still right by us.”

The Princess: “I’m fully dressed again, danger has been averted.”

Hero: “Oh, she did i- O-oh, uh…”

Skeptic: “Well, not like she had a towel to dry herself off first.”

· “We should go somewhere the air’s dryer so you can dry out.”

The Princess: “Yes, we should. Lead the way.”

Hero: “Holding the Princess’s hand and head, we lead her through the beautiful, craggy landscape, holding her head under our arm so she can look back at herself. It’s slow going cause she’s pretty clumsy like this and she does step on our heels a couple times and we, uh, try not to look back at her.”

Skeptic: “It’s fine, buddy, she knows we’re trying to help, not peek. Let’s not let her trip and hurt herself in the name of chivalry. It takes us a while, but we climb to a nice rocky overlook among some flowering thistles with a bit of a view of the woods and the waterfall down below, the vast starry sky above us. There’s a slight breeze here but it’s pretty warm too, so it should be ideal for letting the Princess dry out. She sits down with her back towards us and takes her head from us.”

The Princess: “Now, I’d like you to finish that massage. You never did get to my back, so if you’d- Hmm. Wait. Oh.”

· “What’s wrong?”

The Princess: “I... thought I’d be able to do my hair very easily now that I can see the back of my own head… But of course I still can’t.”

· (Laugh) “I’ll give you a hand with it after the massage so you can dry your hair out and brush it first.”

Hero: “As we begin to rub the Princess’s back muscles, starting at the base of her shoulders where the still slightly damp fabric of her dress begins, her head slowly rises to peek above her shoulders, looking at us with a stoic, yet fond expression.”

The Princess: “Ever helpful, aren’t you? I really do appreciate it.”

· “I’m at your service, my Princess.”

The Princess: “I know, and I love it. But don’t hesitate to ask if you need something from me too. And actually ask, don’t just hint at it, I’m not good at hints. Unless, I suppose, it’s in the service of defeating a mysterious voice that wants to slay me. But they’re too unclear for personal interaction.”

· “May I… kiss your shoulders?”

The Princess: “You may. But I think I’ve thought of an even better reward for you too, one that fits you perfectly. I’ll give it to you if you’re a very good bird.”

Hero: “Ohh dear, there’s that ominous smile again. Aaand now she’s hidden her head in front of her. Do you… think she was about to blush too?”

Skeptic: “Who can tell with her? We’ll plant a line of kisses over her shoulderblade as our hands rub her tensed up trapezius muscles, working the knots out of them. Her skin is soft, she shivers a little at the first kiss.”

Hero: “Speaking of kisses, did you just feel her bury her face into our crest and kiss the top of our head? Though when we look up, all we can see is a blur of pale hair as she’s already pulled her head back.”

Skeptic: “So she’s up to shenanigans, is she? We’ll just let her and dig into the muscles of her lower back, lovingly rolling them through her dress. We feel another sudden kiss, this time to our flank. We look, and of course she’s gone again. The next one is to a thigh, then our own shoulder. She’s gonna get dizzy moving her head around this fast.”

The Princess: “Something amiss?”

Hero: “Thought she didn’t joke around.”

· “No idea. I’ll just investigate in this direction.”

Skeptic: “Her back muscles feeling mostly softened up by now, we’ll move our kisses up, across the crest of her shoulder and forward to her clavicle, lovingly tracing it with our lips. This time when she goes for the kiss to the forehead, she actually comes up slowly and lingers as we look up at her. Her impassive face has a lightness to it, a loose gentleness that I think we can consider a look swimming with love by her standards. And then she thrusts her head towards us and her lips meet ours. Well, her aim’s a little bad and she does it a bit too hard, but it’s nothing we can’t compensate for. We hold each other’s lips for a while, kissing slowly and full of love for our headless Princess. When we part there’s a wry little smile that says so much on her face.”

The Princess: “I think it’s time you turned around and took my head. I’d like my hair done. And I’d like to touch as much of that lovely plumage as I can.”

Hero: “Oh, sh-she’s uh, more than welcome to. We’ll take over her head and her body gets behind us now, one leg on each side, her arms gently wrapping around us and running her hands through our plumage. It feels so good… Uh, do you know how to braid?”

Skeptic: “Yeah, no worries, I can take care of it, you just enjoy the attention to our feathers. Cause it does feel amazing. We’ll just lean back, use her breasts and stomach as a pillow while we work on her hair. Y’know, her head being detached is real handy for cuddles if nothing else.”

Hero: “Her hands are just all over us, raking the plumage on our chest, our shoulders, our belly, our head, everything... Actually, her feet are all over us too, she’s thrown her legs around us. It’s so… comfortable, being with her.”

Skeptic: “I know what you mean. We get to just exist in quiet comfy affection with her. It’s only broken by the occasional tiny sound of satisfaction from her as we run our hands through her hair to style and braid it, her scalp warm with the clever thoughts going on underneath. Even when we finish her hair, we’ll just keep cuddling for ages, her body caressing us while we pet her head. After at least an hour of it, she finally breaks the comfy silence.”

The Princess: “I’d love to stay like this forever, but there’s a lot of questions that we’ll need to try and answer soon. From ‘Who are we?’ to ‘How did we get here?’ to ‘Where do we find food?’”

· “If there’s a cabin and a path there have to be people. If we follow the path the other way we might find them, and they might have some answers.”

The Princess: “Hm.”

· “What’s wrong?”

The Princess: “I don’t think I like people. Or talking to ones I don’t know anyway.”

· “I can take care of the talking.”

The Princess: “Good, I’ll let you be the face. You’re a real charmer, I’m pretty sure most people would rather see you than me anyway. But that does bring me to your reward… Hand me my head and your blade.”

Hero: “The blade?”

Skeptic: “It’s fine, we can clearly trust her at this point. Though we should still be careful, she can be a bit uncoordinated. She stands up as we give them to her, towering over us.”

The Princess: “Kneel.”

Hero: “Uh, o-okay, we’ll kneel before her.”

The Princess: “If we are to go on a potentially dangerous quest to find the truth, I’m gonna need someone to protect me. Someone loyal, someone who will be happy to serve me and always be there for me. Someone like you. A knight.”

Hero: “A knight?! Yes, I-I wanna be a knight! There’s nothing I’d rather be!”

Skeptic: “A knight, huh? I suppose she is a Princess. Yeah, I think I fancy being her knight.”

· “I would love nothing more than to be your knight, my Princess.”

Hero: “I think it might be my dream, actually. The Princess smiles down at us a little. Carefully and slowly, she brings the blade down to one shoulder, then the next, her face tightly concentrating on getting it right.”

The Princess: “Then I knight you, Sir Bird the Clever, Rescuer of Princesses. Well, just the one, but that’s enough to be more than deserving of knighthood. Rise, my brave knight.”

Hero: “We get back to our feet, feeling a whole new purpose in us, shining with pride like it’s the shine of our knight’s armour. The Princess lifts her head to keep pace with us. She hands us our blade back, and we accept it with a grateful nod.”

· “Thank you, my Princess. I’m ever at your service.”

Hero: “She goes for a simple kiss on the cheek, but can you see her stoic eyes shine with love for us? We have much to do, but together, Princess and knight, I know we can finish whatever quest we set our minds to.”

Chapter End Notes

> Thanks to GettingMetaphysical and Karma for inspiring particular moments in this epilogue.

## Afterword

End Notes

> If you're looking for something else to read, may I suggest Kiss the Witch? I recently did an extensive rewrite on it to get it up to my current standards, so if you've read it before you may enjoy giving it another look.

> Remember to leave a comment and let me know what you think! Comments are a writer's lifeblood.

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