## Monday, April 27, 2009

### The Villain Chart

As a longtime student in the wily ways of villainy (and no small practitioner as well, if it comes to that) I consider myself something of an expert in evil. So it is that I offer, as a public service: The Villain Chart.
(click to enlarge)
What say you, gentle readers?
UPDATE: Commenter Tom proposes an alternate classification scheme.

#### 55 comments:

Derek said...

  Assuming that furthest to the right is a greater degree of Badassery, (with Agent Smith being the most badass of badass) I'm glad to see Kefka high up there on the list.
  I am going to call shennanigans on you, Oh Dark Titan, for your placement of the Borg Queen. Overall power I'll give you, but degree of badass? Unacceptably high.

  April 27, 2009 at 12:06 AM
Anonymous said...

  Borg Queen is most definitely badass. Cold circuitry seducing Picard? Bad assery at its finest!
  Ack,sorry, just fan-girled all over the place, many apologies

  April 27, 2009 at 2:21 AM
Unknown said...

  wtf, cthulhu doesn't rate for badassery? His plan is to literally devour all that lives and cover creation with his wretched spawn.....

  April 27, 2009 at 2:46 AM
Max S. said...

  "wtf, cthulhu doesn't rate for badassery? His plan is to literally devour all that lives and cover creation with his wretched spawn....."
  I dunno, Cthulhu always seemed to me to fall more into the 'force of nature' category of villain--and hey, he did get a higher badass rating than the blob and Godzilla.
  BTW I just got sidetracked to tvtropes attempting to find a witty comment to back this up with. Did you know they have a Badass page? =D

  April 27, 2009 at 4:04 AM
Anonymous said...

  My lord, it seems you have misplaced yourself. You would belong off the charts in the power direction, and I don't think there's a measurement large enough to calculate your badassery.
  You are way too humble.

  April 27, 2009 at 4:05 AM
Soeroah said...

  Hang on, hang on, hang on. Hang on.
  Hang on. You're saying that Frieza has more power and badassery than Anubis the Goa'uld? :O

  April 27, 2009 at 5:03 AM
MomentEye said...

  I'm pretty sure The Shredder and Freddy Krueger are isomorphic.
  PDSM

  April 27, 2009 at 6:15 AM
Unknown said...

  I demand explaination as to why darth vader has more power than our lord and master...
  Unless he controls the galaxy and you ARE the galaxy...

  April 27, 2009 at 9:25 AM
Anonymous said...

  I was very happy to find Kefka and Shai'tan listed.
  And Flagg...and, oh god, Richelieu.
  Very happy indeed...
  [changes pants]
  o.O

  April 27, 2009 at 9:49 AM
Dorgol said...

  Definitely a nice selection of villains in there (Flagg, Bester, Wicked Witch (lol)).
  The idea that Satan = Godzilla (only more badass) is amusing, to say the least.

  April 27, 2009 at 10:29 AM
Red said...

  I think Cthulhu is placed perfectly on that chart. However, Guy of Gisborne? As played by who? Or the historical Guy of Gisborne? If you're going to introduce him we'll need a Z axis for inverse proportion of douchebaggery introduced to the equation. Iago can join him on that Z axis, and right there is already 2 arguments as to why it's needed.
  FURTHER...Where the heck are Skeletor and Mum-Ra???

  April 27, 2009 at 10:59 AM
Sargeras said...

  @ Derek & Pyretta: And don't forget (almost) seducing Data, as well as time-traveling, being effectively immortal, and having a detachable spine.
  @ Kate: I did know. :-D And Agent Smith isn't even on it...wtf?
  @ bfg & Ben: Just being realistic. Let's be honest, if Vader had wanted Azeroth gone, he would've brought in his Death Star and got that shit done. As Clint Eastwood says, "A man has got to know his limitations."
  @ Soeroah: Anubis is cool and all, but come on. Black mysterious cloak? Palpatine did it first, and did it better. Frieza gets extra points for having a speck more originality (though it's not like he's amazingly original either...)
  @ Anon & Dorgol: Thanks. This did take a fair bit of research. :-D
  @ Red: ...and where is Fu Manchu? I know, I know...had to draw the line somewhere though. As for the douchebaggery Z-axis, I would've, but I was afraid L. Ron Hubbard would cause an integer overflow.

  April 27, 2009 at 11:24 AM
Anonymous said...

  I was very very pleased to see Darth Vader and completely agree with how you ranked him. On the other hand, I would also have to agree with others concerning your own ranking. While it is true that the Death Star would have destroyed Azeroth long ago, I'd have to say that you underestimate your own Degree of Badassery.

  April 27, 2009 at 11:45 AM
TheDesktopNinja said...

  "I was afraid L. Ron Hubbard would cause an integer overflow."
  I think I love you as much as a lesser being can love his doom.

  April 27, 2009 at 12:44 PM
Dazer said...

  You're clearly more badass than Anubis. He was a little worm that got killed by a single nuke. Just one......
  Also, I'm pretty sure I heard that your beard is on fire. Like literal flaming fire, all over your face.

  April 27, 2009 at 1:48 PM
Alozare :D said...

  i personally think you arent giving dick cheney enough credit. hes the original bad ass and is an eternal being of evil. hes old enough to be your daddy, and exists in a realm that lies somewhere between the Legislative and Executive branches of the U.S. Government, the so-called "Cheney Branch"
  and if you have L. Ron Hubbard on there, wheres Lord Xenu? Or Eric Cartman? and i dont see any Sarah Kerrigan on there. shes the queen bitch of the UNIVERSE!

  April 27, 2009 at 3:34 PM
TheDesktopNinja said...

  Hmm...Eric Cartman...I believe he would rate high in badassery (he made a kid eat his own parents..i mean, c'mon!) and medium in power (the power of manipulation, of course!).

  April 27, 2009 at 3:41 PM
Anonymous said...

  Mr. Morden didn't make it on there? Sad.

  April 27, 2009 at 4:37 PM
Anonymous said...

  Why is Giygas so low.
  Why.

  April 27, 2009 at 4:48 PM
Molinu said...

  ... dear light. It's like the nuclear warhead of Flame War devices. I'm already feeling an irrational desire to angrily attest that Skynet could totally nuke Sephiroth, or that HAL 9000 deserves to be further right on the "Badassery" scale.

  April 27, 2009 at 4:56 PM
Sargeras said...

  @ Sindrow: Flattery will get you everywhere. ;-)
  @ jaigalaar: Bester is the representation from the Babylon 5 universe. Morden was really more a mouthpiece for the Shadows than a villain in his own right.
  @ Anon: Earthbound is one of the greatest video games ever made, but Giygas was defeated by the power of warm fuzzies. Morgoth he ain't.
  @ Molinu: >:D Give in to your anger!! (And if it's any consolation, I had a lot of internal debate about HAL. As for Skynet nuking Sephiroth, though, I'd like to see it try!)

  April 27, 2009 at 5:42 PM
Molinu said...

  @ Sargeras: I'd like to see it try too, just because I think it would be funny to watch.

  April 27, 2009 at 6:29 PM
Compa said...

  I'm confused master, you burn entire planet systems to ashes just for fun... but you're not as badass as Vader? Also you have unlimited power and noone can defy you yet Cthulhu is powerful than you?... I supposed you would be on the top right corner.
  :(
  [HeartBroken]

  April 27, 2009 at 7:30 PM
Sargeras said...

  Such is the way of things, Compa. But look at it this way: no one ever called me Annie and lived to brag about it!

  April 27, 2009 at 7:57 PM
Anthony Clarke said...

  Skynet would kick sephiroths wimpy little ass. Heh, just kidding. Seph would win, tbh. Moving on, sarge, why dont you rank higher on the BA scale? I mean, you practically INVENTED evil. Waaaaaaay back. All the other ones are just copiers. Moving on, i'd like to see the flying dutchman on there. He was almost as BA as you, sarge.

  April 27, 2009 at 8:12 PM
Anthony Clarke said...

  http://i391.photobucket.com/albums/oo353/julius_friday/villianchartfixd.jpg
  Fix'd. By yours truly.

  April 27, 2009 at 8:25 PM
Sargeras said...

  Hehehe...

  April 27, 2009 at 9:46 PM
Anonymous said...

  While I generally agree, I'm surprised you put yourself below Darth Vader, Palpatine, and the Borg Queen. in terms of power(Badassery, too, actually). Sure they can force choke, shoot lightening, and sway over feeble minded individuals. But you can do that as well, and even then consume their souls and decimate all they hold dear in the process. ...and remember, while the Borg Queen has conquered an entire quadrant of a galaxy... you've conquered an UNTOLD amount of galaxies.
  <.< >.> Just saying =p

  April 27, 2009 at 11:04 PM
Soeroah said...

  I prefer Anubis to Frieza because Anubis is more overly-dramatic and makes me laugh sometimes is all.

  April 28, 2009 at 12:22 AM
Jeza said...

  I'm gonna have to disagree with the Vadar thing, mostly since the Death Star is not actually any more part of his power than the Burning Legion is part of your power. Am I to believe that Darth Vadar's Death Star is more powerful than the combined might of the entire burning legion? Hell, he even tried setting himself on fire once and all it got him was a black suit and extravagant asthma device.
  Also, @ Derek: I'm pretty sure the "Agent Smith" mentioned was not actually Will Smith but was more likely this guy.

  April 28, 2009 at 6:20 AM
Anonymous said...

  The Joker is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY further to the right. He's so bad ass it isn't even funny. Make a whole new chart for him.

  May 4, 2009 at 8:38 PM
Anonymous said...

  I also disagree with Hannibal Lecter. He is badass on a diffrent, way more subtile though pretty bloody level.
  And yes, Joker is quite bad ass, at least the Joker played by Heath Ledger :)

  May 5, 2009 at 7:25 PM
Trorg The Great said...

  What about Cobra Commander or Snake Eyes? Captain Pollution wouldn't stand a chance against them.

  May 7, 2009 at 6:53 PM
Trorg The Great said...

  @ Jeza The Death Star a DESTROYER OF PLANETS.... nuff said

  May 7, 2009 at 7:00 PM
Austin Holian VI said...

  i think bowser should get a higher level of badassery, cause, come on, he's captured the princess like 200 times
  thats pretty boss

  May 8, 2009 at 12:49 AM
daemonos8892 said...

  Boswer isn't a badass. Peach is a whiny sniveling girl who can pull turnips out of her bum and hike up her skirt to float. I'm pretty sure even Gamon could kidnap the brat.

  May 8, 2009 at 1:15 AM
Jeza said...

  "@ Jeza The Death Star a DESTROYER OF PLANETS.... nuff said"
  Destroyer of planet. It only got one before a farmer with a glow sword showed up and showed it how to do things. Sorry if I'm not convinced on how badass the Death Star is.
  On the other hand, Sargeras has been systematically destroying worlds for a while and does not require artificial respiration for doing something as casual as setting himself on fire >>}8^O

  May 8, 2009 at 1:50 PM
Austin Holian VI said...

  ok seriously
  Darth may be an all powerful sith, but when he's annakin, he annoys the crap outta me.
  EX: "i want more power! its just not fair!"
  *walks out sulking.
  the joker, while not exactly powerful, is still the most bad ass on that chart

  May 9, 2009 at 2:44 PM
Anonymous said...

  Freddy Krueger isn't high enough on the power list. He can do ANYTHING in dreams,and wtf king dedede is higher up on power than him lol. at least make him stronger than dedede D:

  May 10, 2009 at 7:09 PM
Anonymous said...

  /gasp
  Black hat guy.

  May 12, 2009 at 11:53 PM
Anonymous said...

  sepheroth belongs way in the lower left corner
  anonymous (the hacker legion) belongs near darth vader

  May 17, 2009 at 12:16 PM
Anonymous said...

  I don't know why Darth Vader is so badass. Palpatine alias Darth Sidious is the most evil in the Star Wars universe. Darth Vader is his "little" puppy only.

  May 25, 2009 at 11:01 AM
Anonymous said...

  What about Harold Shipman?

  July 10, 2009 at 7:42 AM
RAOR <3 said...

  No love for the Vader.

  September 18, 2009 at 8:58 PM
Anonymous said...

  Seriously, I agree you should be placed much higher on the charts than that. Who is Darth Vader anyways but a human being... What match is he for The Dark Titan, at least in terms of power if not badassery.

  November 7, 2009 at 8:10 PM
Anonymous said...

  Um, you say that darth vader is more powerful than yourself? and what is king dedede doing so high up? his schemes always fail. he is more hilarious than evil.

  December 1, 2009 at 10:14 AM
Anonymous said...

  Sepiroth ftw.

  January 2, 2010 at 10:39 PM
An00b’arak said...

  >8< SPIDER POWER!!!!1111

  January 5, 2010 at 9:59 PM
Anonymous said...

  Shai'tan is unacceptably low in Overall Power. I mean... Even his presence seeping through cracks of his prison is affecting whole world's condition, and also twists reality. In full power no doubt he is able to destroy flow of time itself, that is said to be one of his goals or such...

  February 10, 2010 at 7:33 PM
NotSoAnonymousAnymore? said...

  Haha, lol at some of those names :P (Agent Smith as most badass, or Cthulhu as most powerfull xD. Or the fact Davy Jones was put there :P)
  Btw, i think ur forgetting someone O.o?
  Samuel L. Jackson. That's who :)

  May 7, 2010 at 3:11 AM
Anonymous said...

  Still looking for Hogger. Couldn't understand why he should be missing.

  July 4, 2010 at 7:45 PM
Anonymous said...

  wheres ridley? you know from metroid.

  September 10, 2010 at 10:21 AM
Anonymous said...

  I'm glad to see that L. Ron Hubbard is out of charts.

  April 28, 2011 at 10:16 AM
Anonymous said...

  Eric Cartman should be placed on the most powerful part of the chart, as he was able to manipulate Cthulhu.

  August 26, 2011 at 12:07 AM
Anonymous said...

  I wonder if Cthulhu serves as a substitution for the Old Gods of WoW? In which case, the power might need to be higher (but it is acceptable at present - and for all the Sargeras fans, yes, the Old Gods are more powerful than he is). However, I do feel that Cthulhu, if serving as a stand-in, should be more to the right, since the Old Gods did quite a few cataclysmic events - like corrupting Neltharion into Deathwing, who -caused- a cataclysm.
  As said above, Shai'tan should also be much higher, since he can technically be seen as the opposite of the Creator in the Wheel of Time - or at least only a slight step down. He can reach outside of the pattern at will without much of his full power accessible to him, at any rate, which no one else in Randland can come close to doing.

  January 12, 2014 at 1:31 AM

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