## Wednesday, March 25, 2009

### Scourge Chat Log #1

***User "theLichKing" has entered the chat.***
[theLichKing]: Hey
[theLichKing]: Anyone there?
[theLichKing]: *drums fingers*
***User "Kel'Thuz4d" has entered the chat.***
[theLichKing]: Hey man.
[Kel’Thuz4d]: my liege
[theLichKing]: Listen, there's this thing I need you to do for me
[Kel’Thuz4d]: anything my liege
[Kel’Thuz4d]: what army must i lay to waste
[Kel’Thuz4d]: whose lands shall i decimate for ur glory
[theLichKing]: Um, yeah, I'm good on decimation for today. We're going to hold off on the decimation for, like, a week or so.
[Kel’Thuz4d]: ok?
[theLichKing]: I was thinking. How much trouble do you think it would be to have a thermostat installed in the Throne Room?
[Kel’Thuz4d]: ...
[Kel’Thuz4d]: y?
[theLichKing]: It's really really cold in here.
[theLichKing]: I'm Lord of the Scourge. I think I should get a thermostat.
[Kel’Thuz4d]: no its a frozen throne
[theLichKing]: Right
[theLichKing]: See that's exactly what I'm talking about. The throne is frozen. The chair that I sit on all day? Literally a block of ice.
[theLichKing]: It is so very, very cold.
[theLichKing]: I actually cannot over-emphasize how cold I am on a daily basis.
[Kel’Thuz4d]: but its supposed to be frozen
[Kel’Thuz4d]: its the source of ur power
[theLichKing]: About that. Can I get my power transferred to some other source?
[theLichKing]: Something that isn't made out of ice that I then have to literally sit on?
[theLichKing]: Someone dropped the ball there.
[Kel’Thuz4d]: ok so like what should it be then
[Kel’Thuz4d]: like a ring?
[theLichKing]: A ring?
[theLichKing]: Seriously, a ring.
[theLichKing]: Do you _read_ history?
[Kel’Thuz4d]: so what then
[theLichKing]: I don't know. I'll think about it. Maybe an armoire.
[Kel’Thuz4d]: armor?
[theLichKing]: No, not armor. An armoire. The furniture.
[theLichKing]: Oh but speaking of armor
[theLichKing]: I have skulls on my kneecaps.
[Kel’Thuz4d]: ok?
[theLichKing]: No, it is _not_ okay.
[theLichKing]: I have skulls.
[theLichKing]: On my _kneecaps_.
[Kel’Thuz4d]: well for the thermostat i think u need approval from a supervisor
[Kel’Thuz4d]: ill just get kiljaeden in here and well sort it out
[theLichKing]: No!
[Kel’Thuz4d]: no its cool
[theLichKing]: No, don't...
[theLichKing]: Ugh, my old boss. I hate this guy.
[theLichKing]: Ok I'll just...I'll act casual. Like old times.
***User "Killzone'jaeden" has entered the chat.***
[Killzone’jaeden]: This had better be important.
[Kel’Thuz4d]: yeah lich king here just wants a warmer throne room is all
[Killzone’jaeden]: Warmer?
[theLichKing]: No it's really not necessary sir
[Killzone’jaeden]: You want a warmer throne room?
[Kel’Thuz4d]: yeah
[theLichKing]: No
[Kel’Thuz4d]: yeah he does
[theLichKing]: I really don't.
[Killzone’jaeden]: Ok sure let me just get right on that
[Killzone’jaeden]: I actually know these guys, they're really great, literally made out of fire
[Killzone’jaeden]: They could heat your room right up for you
[Killzone’jaeden]: They're called the Burning Legion...why don't I just invite them to Azeroth so they can come and
[Killzone’jaeden]: OH WAIT
[Killzone’jaeden]: Someone's too busy being Chatty Cathy to PREPARE HIS WORLD FOR AN APOCALYPSE
[theLichKing]: So sorry sir
[Kel’Thuz4d]: hey cmon though its not like weve just been sitting around
[Kel’Thuz4d]: were spreading plague and stuff
[Kel’Thuz4d]: we totally spread a lot of plague
[Kel’Thuz4d]: and dont forget the spider war
[theLichKing]: Actually I wouldn't mention that...
[Killzone’jaeden]: Oh yes. The "Spider War."
[Killzone’jaeden]: The "war" where you spent ten years getting rid
[Killzone’jaeden]: OF SPIDERS
[Killzone’jaeden]: Check it out, I had a Mosquito War last night. Mosquito lands on me, I squish it. Done. Two seconds.
[Killzone’jaeden]: Didn't take me ten years
[Killzone’jaeden]: BECAUSE I'M NOT AN IDIOT
[theLichKing]: Yes sir
[theLichKing]: Very sorry sir.
[theLichKing]: I'm on it.
[Killzone’jaeden]: Y'know what, you know who else might want to hear about this
[Killzone’jaeden]: Maybe I shold get Sargeras in here
[Kel’Thuz4d]: sure
[theLichKing]: NO! That's not necessary
[Killzone’jaeden]: Hold on I'll go get him.
***User "Killzone'jaeden" has left the chat.***
[theLichKing]: ARE YOU CRAZY
[theLichKing]: "Sure"? Do you know who Sargeras actually is??
[Kel’Thuz4d]: i think so hes alliance right
[theLichKing]: ...
[Kel’Thuz4d]: horde?
[theLichKing]: *headdesk*
***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***
[An00b’arak]: hay guise whats goin on in dis chat
[Kel’Thuz4d]: sup
[An00b’arak]: sup
[Kel’Thuz4d]: sup
[An00b’arak]: sup
[Kel’Thuz4d]: whaaaazzzzaaaaaap
[An00b’arak]: what are yoooooou doing
[theLichKing]: GUYS
[theLichKing]: SERIOUSLY
[An00b’arak]: whats his problem
[Kel’Thuz4d]: hes cold
[An00b’arak]: well yeah he sits on a frozen throne inside of icecrown glacier with a sword named frostmorn
[An00b’arak]: the name icecrown glacier can only imply that among glaciers, which are themselves made of ice, this one is especially icy
[An00b’arak]: its possible there is some coldness involved
[theLichKing]: _Thank_ you!
[theLichKing]: Ok, so install me a thermostat pl0x.
[Kel’Thuz4d]: uh boss ixnay on asking him to install stuff
[An00b’arak]: what is that supposed to mean??
[Kel’Thuz4d]: uh
[An00b’arak]: oh i get it
[An00b’arak]: bc im an arachnid?????
[An00b’arak]: and how could i possibly install a thermostat without thumbs
[An00b’arak]: racist
[Kel’Thuz4d]: no no no
[Kel’Thuz4d]: well ok yeah how would that actually work
[An00b’arak]: im sure i dont know...im just an arachnid
[An00b’arak]: guess what im not ashamed of what i am
[An00b’arak]: >8< spider pride
***User "An00b'arak" has left the chat.***
[Kel’Thuz4d]: thank god
***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***
[Kel’Thuz4d]: oh god
[An00b’arak]: im lodging a formal protest
[An00b’arak]: i am going to let every1 know the scourge is not an equal opportunity employer
[An00b’arak]: and i am being discriminated against due to race
[An00b’arak]: and species
[An00b’arak]: and phylum
[theLichKing]: Ok, look, there's no need to get upset
[An00b’arak]: omg
[An00b’arak]: dont apologize for him arthas
***User "Killzone'jaeden" has entered the chat.***
[Killzone’jaeden]: Sargeras is logging on now.
[theLichKing]: Aw hell.
[Killzone’jaeden]: Precisely.
[theLichKing]: Listen, I wasn't complaining earlier, the temperature is fine...
[An00b’arak]: kiljaeden??
[Killzone’jaeden]: Excuse me, who is this? I'm *Lord* Jaeden to anybody that's not a Dreadlord.
[An00b’arak]: listen killy there is some phylumism going down in this piece
[Killzone’jaeden]: Killy? Oh you do want to die don't you.
[Killzone’jaeden]: Also does nobody capitalize anymore?!
[Killzone’jaeden]: I didn't spend seven aeons feasting on the souls of the righteous just so I could play typing games with the functionally illiterate.
[An00b’arak]: no im serious this is a real issue
[Killzone’jaeden]: *What* is a real issue?
[An00b’arak]: phylum
[An00b’arak]: ism
[Killzone’jaeden]: You best start talking some English
[Killzone’jaeden]: Where the hell is Sargeras?
[theLichKing]: Precisely.
[Killzone’jaeden]: Don't get cute.
[An00b’arak]: i am being discriminated against on the basis of my spinal condition
[Killzone’jaeden]: What is your spinal condition?
[An00b’arak]: i dont have 1
[Killzone’jaeden]: What?
[An00b’arak]: im an arachnid
[An00b’arak]: >8< spider power
[Killzone’jaeden]: Hey LK I thought you squished all of them already. You spent ten years on these morons and you didn't even finish the job?
[An00b’arak]: what
[theLichKing]: Yeah I reanimated him. I'm the Lich King, it's sort of what I do.
[Killzone’jaeden]: So you smashed a bunch of bugs
[Killzone’jaeden]: And then you were like,
[Killzone’jaeden]: "Huh! I sure would like to have those bugs back again!"
[Killzone’jaeden]: Is your brain frozen or what?
[theLichKing]: Ok that's kind of what I was getting at before.
[Killzone’jaeden]: That you're an idiot?
[An00b’arak]: ur horrible
[An00b’arak]: ur a phylumist
[Killzone’jaeden]: Oh no, I'm horrible. Why don't you go and tell all my demon friends how horrible I am. They will be shocked.
[An00b’arak]: phylumist phylumist phulymst phylimist
[An00b’arak]: that gets hard to type after a while though
***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "An00b'arak" from the chat.***
[Kel’Thuz4d]: thank god
***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***
[Kel’Thuz4d]: oh god
[Kel’Thuz4d]: go back to your hole
[theLichKing]: Yeah get out of here
[Killzone’jaeden]: Go back to your hole, spider
[An00b’arak]: p
[An00b’arak]: h
[An00b’arak]: y
[Kel’Thuz4d]: lolwut
[An00b’arak]: l
[An00b’arak]: u
[Killzone’jaeden]: Shut. Up.
[An00b’arak]: m
[Killzone’jaeden]: Dude get rid of this guy.
[An00b’arak]: i
***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "An00b'arak" from the chat.***
***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***
[An00b’arak]: sts
***User "An00b'arak" has left the chat.***
[Killzone’jaeden]: Finally
[Killzone’jaeden]: Where the hell is Sargeras
[theLichKing]: It's really not necessary, I withdraw my request completely.
[Kel’Thuz4d]: no he wants armor
[theLichKing]: An *armoire.*
[theLichKing]: Of power.
[Killzone’jaeden]: I cannot express how much I hate both of you.
[Killzone’jaeden]: And this is coming from someone whose lungs are made out of solidified hate.
***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has entered the chat.***
[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: hey everyone ^_^
[theLichKing]: How did you get in here?!
[theLichKing]: This is a private chat!
[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: lol :)
[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: i hacked admin :)
***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "~*`Sylvanas'*~" from the chat.***
[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: lol lol lol
[Killzone’jaeden]: TIE fighters
[theLichKing]: What?
[Killzone’jaeden]: Nothing. Can't you kick her out?
[theLichKing]: I just tried
[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: admin guys lol
[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: :) ^___^
[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: oh plus i can chat under ur names check this out
[theLichKing]: im a little girl and i like ponies lol
[theLichKing]: What! I hate ponies!
[Killzone’jaeden]: ROFLMAO
[Kel’Thuz4d]: she hax0red you dude
[theLichKing]: This isn't funny!
[theLichKing]: i play with dolls
[theLichKing]: and bake cookies with my mommy
[theLichKing]: Untrue! I deny everything
[Killzone’jaeden]: Hahaha
[theLichKing]: Ok guys this is lame let's just go to a different chat room
[Killzone’jaeden]: NO!
[Killzone’jaeden]: We're waiting for Sargeras!
[Killzone’jaeden]: It's next to impossible to get him into these things anyway
[Killzone’jaeden]: I'm not going to confuse him
[theLichKing]: im a little teapot short and stout
[Killzone’jaeden]: Besides this is hilarious
[Killzone’jaeden]: Sargeras is going to get here and you'll be singing about teapots...you'll get pwned
[Killzone’jaeden]: Maybe he'll buy you a "pwny"
[Killzone’jaeden]: Hahaha see what I did there
[Kel’Thuz4d]: i dont get it
[Kel’Thuz4d]: wait ok but thats dumb
[Killzone’jaeden]: Wordplay. Look it up.
[Killzone’jaeden]: i like to dress up like a girl
[Killzone’jaeden]: Oh now she's doing it to me too
[Killzone’jaeden]: i like to put on women's clothes
[Killzone’jaeden]: and pretend im a woman
***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has left the chat.***
[Killzone’jaeden]: and look at myself in the mirror all pretty
[Killzone’jaeden]: and call myself the prettiest prettiest princess
[theLichKing]: Umm she's not here anymore
[theLichKing]: Are you just typing that stuff yourself?
[Kel’Thuz4d]: ...
[theLichKing]: ...
[Killzone’jaeden]: ...
[Killzone’jaeden]: WHERE THE HELL IS SARGERAS
***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has entered the chat.***
[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: heeeeeee~
[Kel’Thuz4d]: omg wtf this sux
[Kel’Thuz4d]: i have a dungeon to run
[Kel’Thuz4d]: pcs are going to be like raiding me and shiz
[theLichKing]: Oh please. The expansion is called "Wrath of the Lich King." It's got my _name_ in it. You don't think a few guilds are going to be farming me as soon as I'm a fightable boss?
[theLichKing]: probably not because i suck so much
[theLichKing]: DAMMIT SYLVANAS
[Kel’Thuz4d]: ok and now my cat is 8fwhwe8ufhffweeexvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
[Kel’Thuz4d]: walking on my keyboard
[Kel’Thuz4d]: hold on afk
[theLichKing]: You have a cat?
[theLichKing]: Seriously?
[theLichKing]: You're a freaking skeleton lord. Why do you have a cat?
[Killzone’jaeden]: Yeah why *do* you have a cat?
[Kel’Thuz4d]: back, had to put the cat out
[Kel’Thuz4d]: and ok
[Kel’Thuz4d]: two things
[Kel’Thuz4d]: first, cats are awesome
[Kel’Thuz4d]: second, RACISM??
[Kel’Thuz4d]: "freaking skeleton lord"
[Killzone’jaeden]: WTF is wrong with you people?
[Kel’Thuz4d]: hey! what do you mean..."you people"
[Killzone’jaeden]: What do YOU mean, "you people"?
[Kel’Thuz4d]: hahahaha
[Killzone’jaeden]: Hahahaha...Tropic Thunder, great movie.
[Killzone’jaeden]: i like to poop
[theLichKing]: ...
[Killzone’jaeden]: Ok that one I actually did not say, that was Sylvanas that time
[theLichKing]: ...
[Killzone’jaeden]: No seriously this time it was her
[Kel’Thuz4d]: "this time"?
[Kel’Thuz4d]: wait so u really do like to wear womens clothes
[theLichKing]: You are, in fact, the prettiest prettiest princess?
[Killzone’jaeden]: No, of course not
[Kel’Thuz4d]: do u have a panty drawer
[Killzone’jaeden]: No! I wear boxers. With thorns on them.
[Killzone’jaeden]: And skulls.
[theLichKing]: Ok were the skulls on the kneecaps YOUR idea then??
[Killzone’jaeden]: Wait what?
[Kel’Thuz4d]: yeah dont change the subject
***User "SARGERAS" has entered the chat.***
[SARGERAS]: I WILL CONSUME ALL HTE WORLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!1
[SARGERAS]: I AM INVINICBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[SARGERAS]: I AM HTE DARK TITAN!!!111111!1!
[Killzone’jaeden]: oh god
[SARGERAS]: I WILL CONSUM ALL TEH WORLDS!!!!!1!!!!!!
[theLichKing]: You actually said that already
[Killzone’jaeden]: He spelled it different though.
[Killzone’jaeden]: Dark Lord, there is an issue we need you to resolve
[SARGERAS]: NOTHING CAN DEFET ME BECUASE I AM DEFEAT EVERONE!!!!!!!!!!
[SARGERAS]: I AM SARGERAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[SARGERAS]: TEH DARK TIT AN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Killzone’jaeden]: Right
[Killzone’jaeden]: But what we're going for is
[theLichKing]: Yeah I'm confident he'll be able to resolve this
[Killzone’jaeden]: The Lich King has this complaint...
[SARGERAS]: I AM DESTORYING ALL WORLDS RIGT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[SARGERAS]: i wear little pink girly panties
[Kel’Thuz4d]: omg
[SARGERAS]: WHATTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[theLichKing]: hahahahaha
[Kel’Thuz4d]: pwned
[SARGERAS]: I DID NTO SAY THAT!11111111111111111111
[Kel’Thuz4d]: i dunno about you guys but im kinda turned on right now
[theLichKing]: Rule 34
[SARGERAS]: yeah, you like that, there's more where that came from
[SARGERAS]: *twirls hair seductively*
[SARGERAS]: I DID NOT SYA THAT EITHERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[SARGERAS]: I WILL DESTROY ALL TEH WORLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[SARGERAS]: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[SARGERAS]: !
[Kel’Thuz4d]: *dies laughing*
[Killzone’jaeden]: Ok I'm done
[Killzone’jaeden]: F this
[Killzone’jaeden]: I'm outta here
[Killzone’jaeden]: I hate Azeroth
[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: aw dont go :)
***User "Killzone'jaeden" has left the chat.***
[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: byeee~
[SARGERAS]: I USE SUPER ULTIMATE ATTACK FOR EIGHT MILLION POINS!!!!11
[theLichKing]: Hey I think he spelled all the words right in that one
[Kel’Thuz4d]: missed a t
[theLichKing]: Aw, yeah
[theLichKing]: So close
***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has left the chat.***
[Kel’Thuz4d]: ok im out too
[theLichKing]: Ugh fine
[theLichKing]: TTYL
[Kel’Thuz4d]: ttyl
***User "Kel'Thuz4d" has left the chat.***
[SARGERAS]: GAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
[theLichKing]: This is the worst chat ever.
[theLichKing]: The worst.
[theLichKing]: The worst.
[theLichKing]: Whatevs, titan dude. I'm done.
[theLichKing]: Still freezing my ass off though.
[theLichKing]: *wrath*
***User "theLichKing" has left the chat.***
[SARGERAS]: *looks around*
[SARGERAS]: Chat empty?
[SARGERAS]: ...
[SARGERAS]: I have eaten
[SARGERAS]: the plums
[SARGERAS]: that were in
[SARGERAS]: the icebox
[SARGERAS]: and which
[SARGERAS]: you were probably
[SARGERAS]: saving
[SARGERAS]: for breakfast
[SARGERAS]: Forgive me
[SARGERAS]: they were delicious
[SARGERAS]: so sweet
[SARGERAS]: and so cold
[SARGERAS]: ;-)
***User "SARGERAS" has left the chat.***

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