Okay, so you know how most of the archive crew is named after famous horror writers? Most obviously Tim from Bram Stoker and Melanie from Stephen King (which it took me forever to notice)? 

I bet at least, like, Jon noticed this, Jon having read all the horror books there are to try and explain Mr. Spider. So how did that go down? 

Jon: Have you seen that statement about vampires anywhere? 

Tim: Oh, yeah, I was reading it because I thought it was funny that my name’s Stoker like Bram Stoker. (I know this is forced, go with it)

Jon: Ah. Yes. I’ve noticed these odd…coincidences…with your names before. Algernon Blackwood and M. R. James wrote ghost stories. 

Sasha: What about you? 

Jon: I am not aware of any horror writer with the last name Sims.  (I just realized this is funnier since Jonny has now become a horror writer with the release of Thirteen Storeys. So, now there is a horror writer with the last name Sims.) I can only assume I’m the main character because of this. 

Sasha: …what? 

Jon: Never mind. 

Martin: Huh. Should we be worried that we work in this spooky—sorry, Jon—place, reading horrifying statements, and we are mostly named after horror writers? 

Jon: …no. Surely not. 

Melanie King, Georgie Barker: *make statements*

Jon: This is…starting to become a disturbing trend.