2025-02-28 16:12:57 ¶ ● ⬈

skiesandcandy:

> I love jh as a dynamic of a stronger predator taking someone weaker under their wing,,, hmghfj. I can make him worse but oddly tender….yk??? Yk??? Helen making him worse and delighted when he starts bringing her his victims for her door…saying at least there’s only one and her laughing at him. Saying his attempts at denial aren’t cute anymore. I’m just thinking about. Jon steadily making excuses less and less. Denial slowly fading away. And she knows he’s getting tired of self hatred. Of being miserable. Jon watching her door for longer and longer everytime she leaves. Gazing at the fractals on his arms, tracing the patterns of them. Little spirals and shapes that shouldn’t be able to form so clearly. Thinks about Jon becoming more and more spiral. Thinks about the door seeming to beckon him to follow. To see if he could understand this feeling of alienation that’s followed him all his life.

> I dunno. I just think Helen talks about whether or not she was ever michael and it feels too familiar. She talks about her nature and he understands it too well. I think he understood Michael more than he wanted to. The feeling of “nobody will believe you” the fear of being crazy has followed him his entire life. And now there’s this opportunity, what if none of that had tk matter anymore. What if he didnt have to keep trying and failing to be a human, to be normal. What if he didn’t have to get better. What if he just indulged. What if it didn’t matter anymore.

> The door hums. It’s cracked open just a bit. Beautiful and confusing patterns flow from behind it. He’s so, so painfully curious what it’d be like without helen there. What he’ll find. And maybe she’ll keep him there a little too long, but what does he have to lose? Who would care?

> He goes back to his statement, but the thrum of life and malice behind that door becomes harder and harder to ignore.