Today I am thinking about Jon in the sci fi au being sooo needy. Looking up to elias so much. He doesn’t know how to be around people but the machines are interesting and easy to handle and he can always understand why elias makes a decision even when it’s horrible and morally wrong. Elias makes sense. Elias is comfortable and steady. He slumps against elias’ walls after elias torments someone because he’s the one solid thing he has and yes he’s cruel but isn’t it nice to be the exception. To be the thing holding him back. To be the leash. It’s awful and terrifying but doesn’t it make him feel important. Needed. Special. Like he actually matters. Like they can’t get rid of him. Like elias wants him.
Maybe he just likes it when elias purrs he’s always been his favorite mid repair. His voice feeling like it comes from deep inside his bones. Maybe he just likes knowing Elias will miss him when he’s gone. Maybe a part of him wishes he could stay on this ship far away from anything that hurts forever. Just knowledge. Just understanding. Just elias’ voice, a constant soothing rumble against his endless thoughts.