I’m just thinking about. Helen clawing Jon open and jon trembling but okay, because he’s the archivist. Jon thinking there may be something wrong with him that at some point after all the near death experiences something got rewired wrong and now pain is something he craves, that feels good and comforting and keeps the feeling he’s going to burst out of his skin to a minimum. Jon should have scars all over from her hands. Helen should think they’re very cute on him. He should begrudgingly think they’re a lot better than the marks he got against his will. He should succumb to all his most self destructive impulses in her arms. And to be clear I think he should make Helen worse too. I think him accepting being a monster should be the nail in the coffin of Helen believing her being a monster is her Right and the only way for her to feel better. Helen should go eveb more off the rails than she did in xanon now that she has someone who will be furious but unable to not love her. I think he should atare into the many facets of who she is and who she was and see the many conflicting truths and it should be so confusing and painful to look at but utterly intoxicating. I think she should feed off his fear and self hatred. I think they should make each other worse and Helen should sink her far too sharp teeth into him and he should thrash and wail and beg for more more more even as every bit of common sense screams at him to run. Jons instinct being to be such a good boy for something stringer and scarier than him should be so so cute to her. She is the embodiment of mental illness she should love that shit.