sparks-out:

Intern Jon who has a huge debilitating fixation on his intelligent, fascinating, clever boss whose taken an interest in him. Who sometimes can’t help but see Elias as a father figure. Who guiltily touches himself for hours to the thought of Elias actually being his dad, teaching him how to masturbate correctly. Raping him because Jon can’t get off on his own and needs his dad to do it for him. Hating himself for it afterwards but it’s sometimes the only thing that can actually get him worked up enough and for long enough to orgasm. Worrying constantly what Elias would think if he knew about all Jon’s horrible, disgusting thoughts.

And then Elias kisses him. Sleeps with him, and suddenly Jon has stumbled into an intense, torrid affair with a man almost thrice his age (and no, it does NOT make him wet to think about how much younger he is, no matter how flustered he got when Elias once mentioned he was old enough to be Jon’s father) and the thoughts just aren’t stopping. Because Elias is always so steady even when Jon’s falling apart on his fingers and his tongue and his cock, because he knows just how to toy with Jon, affectionate but firm, paternal. Like a father. And every time they have sex Jon can’t help but imagine that Elias isn’t just his lover but his father as well. That his dad is filling him with his cock, his cum (A fantasy Elias is more than happy to encourage, not that Jon has noticed <3). Jon lying awake beside Elias at night, drowning in guilt over how creepy and awful he’s being, how disgusted Elias (his dad) would be if only he knew. Slipping out of bed and slinking back home in the early morning, drowning in misery.

Eventually, it all begins to wear on him (at least, that’s what he assumes is causing the sudden increase of fatigue). So stressed and guilty it makes him sick (vomiting at all hours of the day, constantly nauseous… what else could it be?). And…. there’s some odd bloating developing in his stomach, too. So caught up in shame and self-loathing, but at least it can’t get much worse. As long as he can keep his sick desires secret, he can keep their relationship going. And surely, there’s nothing else that could possibly blow up his life.

Nothing at all :)