skiesandcandy:

We need to think about past jon and elias age regression more I think. Jon getting into a fight with his future self that upsets him so so much he doesn’t even realizebhow small he’s getting on the way to elias’ office. Meant to just seek answers but it all hurts so much and nobody likes him or respects him or even trusts him except elias who’s so responsible and knows so much and is so patient and steady even if he’s stubborn and content to just watch he’s always there and his hands are big and firm against his as he asks what’s wrong, why’s he shaking, and he didn’t even realize it, because of course he didn’t, elias always notices how he’s doing before he does, elias always knows, elias is so warm and big and safe and it’s so much easier here, away from the constant scrutiny. It’s so much easier here when he can hardly process he isn’t small enough to hold like he needs. It’s easy here, with elias guiding him to lay down on the couch and coaxing him out of his coat and fetching him his toys and being so patient and it feels like he’s just visiting his dad to calm down, like this is the most natural thing in the world, like he’s not his boss he’s his father and he’s so utterly safe here he can barely remember his future self warned him away at all. Not when elias smiles so fondly as he runs a hand down his chest, saying he’s a big boy now, so clever already, he knows better than to bleed himself dry, come on now jon. At least stay a little while, let his old man calm him down. Jon squirms and whines and feels like he’s burning up in a way he can barely handle when he’s so small, so easy to overwhelm so quick to cry and shake when it’s all too much for him. But elias is all around him, and so sure of himself, so sure he can help, and it’s so easy to be touched and held and wanted by the only person left who cares.