ASPCA Commercial but it’s TMA

[Music starts playing] *Images of Jon getting injured recorded by an unseen camera, set to music*

~In the arms of the angel~

[Music continues in background]

Hello, I’m Elias Bouchard. Will you be an angel for a helpless Archivist?

Everyday innocent Archivists are abused, beaten, and neglected, and that parts fine, but they also need trauma.

So please come tell your story at the Magnus Institute. For just the cost of never sleeping without being watched again you can make sure our Archivist gets his daily recommended dose of trauma.

Right now, there’s an Archivist who needs you. Your call says, “I have a Statement”. Please call right now. [Piano fades]