My hot take is I think je are both extremely autistic about sex. I think Jon hyperfixtated on specific kinks before. I think they’re so weird about it. I think they have a system that makes perfect sense to them albeit not very healthy and would look like actual psychological torture to anyone else. I think they are very clearly also Boss and Employee in any scene unless they’re both losing it a little. I think they’re just like that. All the time.
Its also kinda like. Sometimes Jon wants to go through actual psychological hell because he thinks he deserves it and Elias does not have moral qualms against this if he thinks it’ll make him grow or feed their god in a good way. I mean. It’s elias. He finds his pain beautiful. This works for what Jon wants. This is also actually batshit insane. Do you get what I mean.