I want young uni student Jon to have a fling with a much older woman. It would be good for her. Or bad for her but in a fun way. Please she needs a woman twice her age to forcefem her it’s the only way to crack that egg. Please.
Maybe Gertude. Maybe an AU where Helen distortion starts haunting this poor sad curious student <3 it’d be so much fun actually please. Get her a much older girlfriend with nefarious intentions. Please.
Helen SHOULD treat jons brain like a toy. The first time jon told her to make her stop thinking she was like oh I’m going to LOVE this one. Jon and her massive dumbification bordering on mindbreak kink , especially in this. Like I mean cmon. If ur a somewhat willing avatar of the spiral that shit is like. Ur jam. Yknow. Jons sense of reality shoukd get all blurred Jon should start losing touch with what can and can’t happen Jon should be left sooo confused and lost the spiral should have such a strong hold on her mind. Ok. Helen should bat her around for fun and profit. Jon exhausted after another fight after another horrible mistake just needs to not think not know anything for nothing to be real. For nothing to make sense to be so overwhelmed and helpless her brain just goes blissfully silent and all that’s left is what she wants to do. Jon spending a couple days in the corridors getting fucked stupid without realizing it <3 because she’s just having such a nice time !!! Jon who’s started bitterly viewing the corridors as a refuge. Away from anyone who hates her. The rooms are all strange and odd and Wrong but Helen tailors some just for her. Please imagine Helen messing with her while she’s sooo confused and lost and offering to let her stay the night and she shouldn’t but she’s sooo tired and looking at helens shifting face makes her brain even more tired and she doesn’t wanna go back to where nobody wants her. Being shuffled into a room that’s Wrong and Strange. A bed that feels a bit like she might just sink into it and never leave. But it’s so comfortable. So soft. So warm, even if it almost feels like the corridors might consume her like this. The food here makes it hard to think. Makes her body look. Strange. Different. (Right.) Everything in this room is strange and wrong and it’s so comfortable even if she can barely even think. Can barely register anything. Feels like she’s unraveling. Like helens pulling at the very threads of her being. Should it feel so freeing? Like such a relief?
She knows she’ll be back here. She knows she’ll let Helen take her while she watches her reflection that Isn’t what she looks like. That makes her entire being burst with happyhappyhappy that she Cannot think about ever. That makes it feel like all of that js really happening as long as she doesn’t look away.
What if the attraction to people covered in blood is a primal thing? You know… how animals are sometimes drenched in blood after feeding?
What if our hindbrain sees the blood-covered person and associates it with having just fed and ergo being able to provide?
Oh no I'm gonna be thinking about jh forever now. Jon becoming progressively more and more spiral as she loses touch with reality...Jon who knows she should stop going into the corridors before it's too late but she doesn't want to, she's stubborn and she's curious and it's the only thing she has that feels good, Jon watching her reflection shift and change memorized and seething with envy because she wants it so bad. Jon sleeping in helens room for her more than she does in her actual dorm. Jon soooo hungry and prowling around her girlfriend's corridors for something nice to eat. Jon getting lost in her corridors recreationally. Always exploring them because they're always changing. Don't worry about how sharp her hands are, or about how all her bones look wrong, or about the fact her eyes are just Not Right, or about how her hair is all spirally, or about how her laugh hurts your ears, or about how she's clearly always looking at something that isn't there <3. Just. Jon unraveling rapidly <3 Helen having such a vice grip on her brain and having sooo much fun seeing what she can do to it. Maybe Helen should say what the HELL is it going to take for her to admit she wants this. Jon tells her to break her, in a rare moment of vulnerability, because can't she see she's sick of pretending too?? She's miserable and trapped and she wants out and she's tired of being human and she's so fucking guilty about it. And helen goes aight. Bet. College student having a mental breakdown over repressed emotions meet the physical embodiment of them. I'm sure she won't shed her humanity and become the happiest she's ever been while ruining peoples lives
-skiesandcandy
So turns out I have thoughts…look if Helen can’t make Jon into her cute little baby monster what the point. Jon should get to be a pretty little monster girl and toss her humanity aside as a treat,
Jon wanted to crawl out of their skin, it wasn’t a new feeling, in fact it had become all too common lately. Sometimes when they went do enough into Helen’s corridors they could almost see the seams, places where skin could be peeled back, giving them a body that didn’t fit wrong. Jon considered calling for Helen, they had ended up deeper in the corridors than usual, following one of their twisted reflections, the ones that looked like Jon wanted to. Each time they caught a glimpse of their mirror selves their reflection would smile, mouth almost twisting right off her face, before beckoning them further.
Jon had finally collapsed muscles refusing to move any further, watching their reflection disappear this time seemingly to run deeper into the mirror instead of to a separate one, as they tried to crawl after her. Their fingers brushed against the blank surface, but the girl in the reflection had vanished completely. Jon wanted to sob, they hadn’t thought of why they were chasing that particular reflection. Maybe a small part thought that if they caught it something would happen, something that would make them the girl in the mirror.
It didn’t of course, they were the same as always, and they hated it. Sometimes they thought it would be better if they never made it back. They had already screwed up with their schooling, it was hard to pass a class when reality never seemed to stay still, and time seemed to jump and spin like wind chimes in a whirlwind.
It also didn’t help that it was so hungry, and not the normal type of hunger that could be solved with simple meal. No this was the type of hunger that made it feel like a monster, like something that should be put down to keep others safe. It shuddered remembering the first time it had realized that the feeling it had watching Helen feed wasn’t disgust, but instead was like the first bite of an extravagant meal, then the shame had nearly swallowed it, like a black pit.
Helen had laughed of course, the sound like knives in its ears, but comforted it still, curling her too long fingers around it, cradling it to her chest. It had cried saying it didn’t want to be a monster and Helen had crooned at it, had asked why being a monster was so terrible? Jon had tried to explain but its thoughts had twisted around each other. Helen hadn’t stopped pressing and pushing asking at what point was it better to just let go?
Jon wanted so much to let go, but they clung to their humanity, with bloody broken fingernails, because if they let go? Would they still be Jon? The tired snappy college student, who nobody really liked, and whispered behind their back? They didn’t want to be that person, but what of the person on the other side was worse? What if they changed and they still hated themselves?
“That’s what you’re going with?” Jon hadn’t noticed Helen until she was carding her fingers through their hair, somehow no longer on the floor but instead laying across her lap chin resting on the chair’s arm. Jon blinked and now they were pressed against her chest, their face buried into their too curly hair. “Better the devil you know? That’s why you’re clinging to such an ill fitting form?”
Jon was too tired to speak even if they could form sentences, instead they just nuzzled into Helen’s arms. Only Helen didn’t let them drift off cupping their chin to look into their eyes. Suddenly everything was sharp and painful and real and Jon could feel tears collecting in their eyes. They heard an anguished cry and only realized it was their own when Helen pressed their mouth closed.
“I’ve been so patient with you little one,” Helen’s grip on their hair was no longer gentle instead using it to keep them still as they forced them to look at her. “What will it take to stop hurting yourself? To just let go, and be what you want? To be my pretty little monster?”
Their other self in the mirrors were back staring at them from a thousand places, the twisted smile now a frown with eyes that weren’t right. Jon recoiled from the disappointed looks, even to their reflections they were disappointing.
“I wish I knew,” Jon snapped, their voice cracking as the last word came out more as a sob. “I hate this, I don’t want to be this anymore, I want to be her,” they gestured wildly about at their reflections, each now looking surprised, no longer frowning, but more…anticipative? “I want you to force me to break me and make me something better, dig into those seems and make me not feel like this anymore!”
The room was silent as Jon’s tirade came to an end, tapering off with a choked cry as they collapsed against Helen sobs racking their frame. They waited for Helen to decide finally that they weren’t worth it, to throw them from her corridors forever, one more person realizing they weren’t worth the trouble.
“Oh Jon,” Helen didn’t sound upset, instead her voice was a gentle croon in their ear. It wound through their brain, almost like a cat, until it noticed a stray thread tugging on the loose thought. Jon didn’t dare look at their skin, scared to see nothing change, but also scared to see the seams opening up. Jon could almost see their grip on the shreds of humanity they had left, slipping as their thoughts unraveled, “All you had to do was ask.”
Jon’s world was alight with confusion, it was as though the fabric that made them was unraveling, but only to wind with something else. Something that reminded them of Helen, but instead of doors, it tasted distinctly of mirrors. And wasn’t that about odd thought, their sense of self melting together and tasting of glass and hallways and Helen.
She felt lips on hers as Helen kissed her, tongue much longer than it should be winding down her throat, and she couldn’t breathe. Did she need to breathe? She wasn’t quite sure she had lungs anymore, that should terrify her right? Was she finally having her long awaited breakdown? She didn’t think breakdowns were supposed to be like this? We’re supposed to feel like too sharp hands prying her fingers out of her grip in her own humanity. Guilt falling away like a too big coat, why should she be guilty?
No one had ever tried to help her before Helen, and if she liked Jon as her little monster? Well why should she try to please anyone else. Part of her screamed that she should want to stay human for herself, but that part felt like it was being peeled off too be replaced with a sense of belonging.
She was pulled back to her body as Helen pulled away just enough to let her breathe again. She blinked up at Helen, knowing her eyes now glittered in unnatural jewel bright tones that spun like butterflies. She was pulled close feeling her skin fitting different than before. Whether it was just in her mind or a real physical change she didn’t know, it didn’t really matter.
“Such a lovely girl,” She wondered when her clothes had vanished, but that idle thought was pushed aside as she craved her neck to get a better look at herself in the mirror now in front of her with Helen at her back. A blush spread across her cheeks, only the color was all wrong, her smile twisting off her face like the reflection she had been chasing. Helen caressed her chest and Jon couldn’t help but make the most embarrassing mewling sounds which had Helen poking at her even more laughing at every new squeak she could yield. Eventually Jon could feel the energy that had flown through her ebbing and the hunger creeping back in and she could only whine, words bringing her but Helen seemed to know what she needed.
“My little monster let’s get you someone to eat, becoming can be rather exhausting after all.”