❛ i can take care of you. you won't need anyone but me. ❜ je for the Sci fi au? Maybe?
“I can take care of you, you won’t need anyone but me,” Jon glared at the little red light, wishing that those words didn’t send something fluttering through him. The part that always wanted someone to care about him, to want him around, to have someone to take care of him. Shoving those feelings down was even harder now, because really who else did he have but Elias?
Jon couldn’t even place all the blame on the ship, even before he was made…this. Hadn’t he always driven everyone away from him? Elias was the only one who never decided he wasn’t worth it. In fact he had gone further, tying Jon to him forever, taking away his autonomy, but only because he couldn’t bear to lose him.
Jon half-wondered what would happen if he did try to leave the ship. Would he shut off? The parts of him that were metal and wires ceasing to function past the threshold? Or would it be a slow decay, his body no longer supported by Elias, falling apart till he was just scrap? If Jon wasn’t such a coward, if his feelings weren’t so twisted, if some part of him didn’t need Elias as much as Elias wanted him…
It wasn’t fair that he couldn’t cry anymore, couldn’t mourn the loss of what he had been. Maybe if he was allowed that the part of him that felt twisted in barbed wire could be eased out. His feelings for Elias, his horror at the loss of what he had been, and the small part of him that was fascinated by what he had become. All tangled up inside him.
If he wasn’t the source Jon might have gone to Elias for help, it had been how he dealt with things before. The ship didn’t judge, well at least it didn’t judge him, it often had rather cruel, if entertaining things to say about the rest of the crew.
“You can still speak to me,” Jon blinked, the slight click that accompanied the action now making him flinch, one more reminder of what he was. “Things don’t have to change all that much.”
“Wait can you…?” Jon paused because did he want the answer? Did he want to give up the last safe place in his head, or at least the ignorance that it was safe. To know that what Elias had done to him had gone so deep that even his thoughts weren’t solely his own?
“I hate you,” Jon bit out, instead of continuing his question. The ship’s laugh echoed in his head, always there now, he could never really be alone again.
Was it worth it to keep fighting, to hold onto that spark of anger? The one that grew dimmer each time he tried to stoke it into a flame?
The feeling of hands wrapping around him had him stiffening, even if he instinctually wanted to relax into the feeling. If he closed his eyes he could pretend they were real and not just Elias manipulating his sensors. Maybe that was it though, maybe he could just close his eyes to it all.
His eyes flicked shut and he let himself relax into the sensation of being held. As though Elias was human, and holding him, comforting him, stroking his hair. He could feel as the touches grew more insistent, squeezing his chest, sliding between his legs. He held on a soft whine, as Elias slowly coaxed the tension out of him. Knowing just where to press, where to stroke, until Jon became undone curling up on the hard metal floor as his body was played with. Just a toy for the machine that had changed him.
“I’m sure you do,” Elias’s voice was soft, but dismissive accompanied by ghostly lips on his temple. As though Jon was a child throwing a tantrum.
“I meant it I-,” Jon couldn’t hold back a soft gasp as he felt like Elias was pushing inside of him, holding him down, because Jon didn’t even have control of his own body anymore. However angry he was it changed nothing, he belonged to the ship. He couldn’t hold back his whimpers, as the sensations increased, his whole body shaking.
“As I said l will still take care of you, I am the only one who can.”