Jon who is not yet the Archivist, just a lowly researcher, ending up on the wrong side of the lonely. Maybe he reads a Leitner, or just gets on the wrong side of someone, the how doesn’t really matter.
He doesn’t notice at first, he’s used to being ignored, unless someone wants something. He’s used to people letting doors swing in his face, or pretending not to hear when he asks to hold the elevator. Only he thought that he had made friends at the Instititute. Of course when he confronts his coworkers and they stare right through him, well that’s a bit odd. Maybe they’re playing a trick, but no nothing he does gets more of a reaction than a shiver.
Jon spending the next few weeks completely alone, he still gets his work done, pretends someone is talking to him even if their eyes slide right off. He feels cold, realizes he needs to wear a jacket inside now. He’s confused, because no one else seems to notice. He quickly forgets that as he realizes he’s fading. Staring in shock as he goes to grab a pen and his hand slides through the desk it rests on,
That’s when the terror hits, because what if he does just fade away? What if no one even notices? Was he really that forgettable? No one had even wondered where he went, showed up to his flat to check on him or even given him a call. Maybe that’s his fault, he did push people away, maybe this is just a natural consequence of his personality.
Jon just wants someone to see him, he’s just, he’s just so alone. He ends up breaking down once he makes it back to his flat, all the panic and fear he had been suppressing coming out at once. He’s going to die here, and no one is going to notice. He’s going to disappear just like the boy whose name he can’t remember.
Still he has to try something, other than just living his life, going to work and waiting to fade. So he heads out, the strangers he runs into don’t acknowledge him either, even when he grabs one of their arms and shakes its they just look confused before walking right past him. The panic is bubbling up again, he starts running, feeling pulled along almost, but well his current panic state doesn’t leave him thinking clearly.
He realizes he’s back at his job when he collides with someone solid. Jon stumbles back almost falling only to be caught by a hand grabbing his arm steadying him.
“Jon please look at where you’re going, this is not the welcome back I expected.” Jon freezes because he realizes he’s just run into Elias, who had caught him, stopped him from falling. Elias was looking at him that piercing gaze that sometimes felt like it could pierce his soul. Jon looked at his arm where Elias still held on, his touch feeling like fire after not having any human contact in weeks.
“You can see me?” Jon couldn’t help but latch onto Elias, his voice trembling. Jon breaking as he realizes Elias’s gaze doesn’t slide off him, is just as focused as always. Sobbing into Elias’s chest and if he hadn’t spent the past month supernaturally isolated, he would feel completely mortified.
Somehow they end up in Elias’s office where Jon finds himself giving a statement, for a moment when Jon describes his experiences he could swear Elias looked pleased, but it passed quickly and Jon decided he’d imagined it, or it was a mistake, he’s not the best at reading people.
Elias resting a hand on his shoulder once he’s done, he’s saying something but Jon can’t hear him. He he leans against him, starting to cry again. He just…he just wants to be held, because he’s not cold anymore. He hadn’t realized how cold he had been. Elias pulling him against his chest, muttering something about allowing it. Jon finally feeling like he’s stopped fading, like he’s solid again, and he can be embarrassed about practically sitting in his boss’s lap later. For now he just wants to be seen.