I still think elias should act how jon imagines a father would. Stern, firm, yet so patient. So competent and rational and responsible. Can be so warm, in those moments. A steady hand on his back breath hot on his neck so understanding , only ever disappointed, gently but firmly putting him right back in his place like it was never a question, nothing he says leaves any room to argue back or question, so Mature so self assured so so so. It is slowly driving jon insane. He’s never felt young. Small, yes, helpless, yes, unqualified, yes, but never young. Except when Elias is around and he’s so much taller than him and he’s so patient and so pleased with him when he gets something right, so impressed, his hands are ever so slightly weathered and feel so nice when he takes off his glasses and runs a hand down his face and tells him he should get some rest before he crashes into the desk. Ridiculous boy, he calls him, and Jon doesn’t whine but he feels like it. He can’t keep pushing himself this hard, and he’s done so well already, won’t he get some rest? His hands are so nice and the touch is Solid and Grounding and he feels so little when he talks to him like that, when he sounds so fond and he’s smiling at him like that and he feels like his son. Oh god, he wants it. He wants it so terribly and Elias pats him on the back and guides him to document storage and his voice is warm and he doesn’t question why he’s so flushed or why his hands drifting down make him squirm so much. He leaves and tells him good night, sweet dreams, tucks him in like a child and flicks off the light, and Jon wants.
