I need Jonah to tell Jon he’s so brave during a punishment. I need Jon to almost burst into tears over it. I need Jonah to realize the thread here and pull on it until he has Jon completely unraveled, core trauma on full display, and I need him to exploit that to analyze him and also give him a lot of orgasms. Okay? Okay.
Half of jons sex appeal to Jonah is studying him under a microscope because good God this man has so many problems and it’s like dissecting him to him. Jonah spent hours testing his reactions after he called him “dad” for the first time trying to study and understand him as much as possible. He learned a lot about his archivist that day.
Things Jonah has deduced about jon via kink shit:
Jon craves for someone else to be to blame for his actions so he can be a good person. He still clings to his agency but he wants to be able to do whatever he wants without any of it being his fault.
Jon is starved for approval. His lifetime of being ignored or seen as too much effort has left him with a deep seated feeling he cannot improve and a feeling of isolation from all his peers. (This was from other things as well but him losing his mind over being called a sweet boy and “poor baby” when he was bratting confirmed many suspicions.)
Jon specifically wants approval from authority figures. He wants guidance and comfort and not to have to do it himself, but feels too guilty to put it on other people he views as on the same level as him. An authority figure feels safer and less Mean to do it to. An authority figure is supposed to handle all of it.
Jon wants to be good so badly. He wants, desperately, to be viewed as kind and clever and desirable. He doesn’t want to change. He wants people to view him as he is now as all of those things. So badly.
Jon fears not having any agency, but he fears his own desires and what he’d choose if he had nothing stopping him the most. He fears his own choices. Sometimes he wants them all stripped away and for someone else to just…conveniently choose everything he’d want.
Jon desperately wants to be pitied and to have sympathy but can’t open up to save his life. He desperately wants to be sympathetic. He wants everyone to understand why he’s doing this but he cant handle the idea of being rejected.
The rape kink was maybe the least surprising. Like ah yes this guy who’s agency was stolen from him at an extremely young age and is already marked by the You Have No Agency fear is kind of enamored with the concept of having no agency in a good way and has a very complicated relationship with choice, and this carries over to his sex life? What a surprise. Nobody could have possibly predicted this.