They don’t know about my thoughts on Jon and his massive rape kink. Jon touching himself and feeling like a horrible person for wanting JONAH of all people so he just. Well what if it wasn’t his fault. What if he put up a fight about it. What if nobody could tell he was enjoying it. What if he was scared the whole time. What if Jonah forced him down and he just happened to want all the things Jon wanted done to him. What if he collared him totally against his will and broke him down until he obeyed and pleaded for attention, against his will. Obviously. What if Jonah got him pregnant and then HAD to be gentle and take care of him and be so so nice to him. What if…
And of course Jonah watches all of his fantasies. And takes Notes.
He thinks about Jonah drugging him, so he has an excuse for why his imagined self is so touchy and loud and wet, why he wouldn’t be fighting back. And wouldn’t it be nice to not have to think or plan or do anything, just feel so so good he forgot everything else? Or what if Jonah threatened him and he had no choice? Then he’s not a bad person for trying to appease him and earn his approval. Just. Convoluted justifications for everything because he does Not want to admit he just wants Jonah to force him down and adore him so much he can’t help himself, even after everything. Especially after everything. Maybe he just wants to not have to do anything or worry about anything and for Jonah to want him so badly he cracks under it.
I like the idea of Jon getting aroused from the statements. Squirming and dripping wet whenever he reads one, feeling sooo guilty and horrible but he can’t resist the urge to touch himself after every one.
Maybe it’s a natural but gradual thing that builds and builds over time. Or maybe Elias likes to slip his own arousal into Jon’s mind, feeding him little fantasies that Jon can’t help but latch onto. And of course Elias should get to catch Jon fingering himself open. Should pin him to the chair while he Watches Jon finger himself to completion as Jon squirms with humiliation and guilt and desire.
