jon when martin is making him tea in s1: I’ve never met you in my life. you bastard. you fiend. stop this at once
jon in scotland when martin wanders off for five minutes to brush his teeth: Where Is My Kisses From Martin? Where Is My Snuggles And Cuddles That I Crave So Dearly. You Are A Cruel And Unjust Boyfriend And I Am Going To Cry