July 2025

It’s so hot today that I made that I’m headcanoning The Magnus Archives characters favorite ice cream flavors:

Jon - Rum Raisin

Martin - Vanilla

Tim - Cookies And Cream

Sasha - Neapolitan

Melanie - Birthday Cake

Georgie - Cheesecake

Basira - Salted Caramel

Daisy - She doesn’t like ice cream but she really likes snow cones. The blue ones in specific.

Peter - Mango

Elias - Coffee

Gertrude - Cookie Dough

Gerard - Mint Chocolate Chip

Michael Shelley - Cotton Candy

Gerard Keay should paint The Distortion using Watercolor paints.

I headcanon that Gerard Keay doesn’t always wear his goth aesthetic. I mean, he does if he’s outside anywhere, but at 10PM during a quiet night in he’s not as worried about it as one might think.

This plays into a Doorkeay headcanon of mine that’s just the concept of Distortion Michael deciding to pay Gerry a visit at 1AM and being getting genuinely shocked and unsettled by seeing him dressed down. Just:

Distortion Michael: “What are you, and what did you do with my book burner?”

Gerard who is wearing a bright purple hoodie, light blue pants, and a has a pink scrunchie in his hair: “I feel like you’re being very dramatic right now.”

I’m thinking about a “Michael Shelley is spit out of The Spiral AU” where being The Spiral changes Michael in a way where he’s angry, and violent, and a chronic liar who has had his morality completely skewed to the point where even “People shouldn’t be eaten in a monster’s hallway,” is a controversial topic with him.

I’m thinking about a Michael Shelley who can’t be trusted during The Circus ordeal because he’d sell out the entire Institute and everyone in it for less than nothing. Yet, he still can’t help but care a little because he’s still human at his core.

I’m thinking about a Michael Shelley who is friends with Tim and Melanie because he see’s his anger in them, but dislikes Martin because he see’s the loyalty he once had in him and can’t stand it anymore than he can stand the fact that Jon seems to genuinely care about his helpful assistant.

I’m thinking about a Michael Shelley who has to relearn the concept of humanity and has an arc that parallels Jon’s. Every time Jon loses a piece of his humanity, Michael gains some of his back through his connection with Tim, Melanie, Georgie, statement givers, and sometimes Jon depending on the day.

To the point where in Season 5 Michael chooses to blind himself instead of ruling a dominion while Jon gives into the same urges Michael did a long time ago. And Michael is angry again. But this time not AT Jon, but FOR Jon and all the things he’s gone through.

I’m just really thinking about Michael Shelley.

In a world of fears that manifest into real monsters, people still probably have very mundane fears. So here are my headcanon’s on the more normal fears the TMA characters have that aren’t related to their day to day fear dealing.

Jon is terrified of public speaking. It’s a bit ironic considering how much he makes statements, but statements can be redone while mispronouncing a word or having a vocal crack at the wrong time can’t. At least in Jon’s mind. He wants people to take him seriously so the idea of having a flub in public is terrifying.

Peter Lucas is scared of frogs. He found one in his cabin bed one time right after boarding and it jumped at him. He hasn’t liked them since.

Melanie King is scared of vomit or vomiting. No “real” reason as to why, it’s just really gross.

Before the college incident happened Georgie was terrified of the concept of The Headless Horseman. It was one of the first scary stories she read as a kid and it stuck with her so deeply that just the sound of a horse walking around at night could freak her out a little.

Gerard Keay doesn’t like horses. He doesn’t like that something is that large and NOT a fear entity. Their eyes being on the side of their face freak him out too.

Martin is scared of thunder. He doesn’t like loud sudden noises and that’s basically the entire bit of what thunder is.

Michael Shelley was scared of empty rooms. Being in a new house would freak him out so bad because he hated not having furniture set up. It made the space look unnaturally wide and he didn’t like it.

Elias has a fear of germs. He’s very generous about giving people sick days because he’s being very honest when he says he doesn’t want anyone coming in if they have the flu or something.

Sasha is scared of large bodies of water. She likes knowing what’s going on around her at all times, and it’s hard to know what’s going on in a sea. The idea of a fish grazing against her foot while she swims is her worst nightmare.

Basira doesn’t do roller coasters. She hates the speed, the fast movements, and having to trust that it’s well built. Nothing about them is enjoyable to her.

Daisy doesn’t like dentists. She doesn’t do teeth stuff in general and she really doesn’t like the feeling of vulnerability that comes from someone poking around your mouth.

Tim is scared of geese. He got attacked by one in college and ever since then he sprints by geese whenever he see’s them. Sasha has so many videos of him in a dead sprint on her phone.

Gertrude has a fear of developing a phobia.

What I think The Magnus Archive character’s smell like:

Jon - Jon smells like old books that were left in a room with an air freshener all day, meaning that he smells like any library that’s existed for more than a decade. The way he smells is not helping the “Jon is old” allegations that his coworkers give him.

Martin - Martin smells a bit like tea, which isn’t a surprise to anyone considering how much he makes. But he also smells a lot like peppermint because of a hand lotion he uses. (Bonus headcanon that Jon used to not like the scent of mint, but by Season 4 he has a bowl of peppermints on his desk.)

Tim - Tim smells like a noticeable body spray that would be applied by frat boys and apparently Magnus Institute workers. Most people couldn’t pull the scent off, but there’s something about his general demur that makes the smell seem to suit him more than it should.

Sasha - Sasha smells like a coffee shop. She smells warm and sweet like hot chocolate and cinnamon rolls being served as a treat. The way she smells is very comfortable and welcoming.

Melanie - If you asked Melanie this question she would say that she doesn’t smell strong of anything. However, if you Georgie would say that smells faintly like coconut deodorant and hair dye. This is because Georgie likes women.

Georgie - Georgie smells like green apple because of the soap and shampoo she uses.

Basira - Basira smells like a mix of coffee and a room full of house plants combined into one. Being around her is like being around the physical embodiment of a sunroom.

Daisy - Daisy smells like a spring day. She smells like soil soaked by rain and a forest full of pine trees who’s cones are in bloom. She has this very natural smell about her that couldn’t be replicated by any cologne or shampoo.

Peter - Peter smells like saltwater. No matter where he goes he the the ocean follows him.

Elias - Elas somehow smells exactly like an eye doctor’s office. It’s not on purpose, he just achieves that uncomfortable clinical smell naturally.

Gertrude - Gertrude has smelt like the wick of a candle that was just went out ever since her ritual with The Desolation. Before that she had a slight orange smell that she expects clung to her clothes from her daily lunchtime snack, but that was a long time ago.

Gerard - Gerard’s clothes reek of smoke. Between his cigarette habit and his book burning he smells like a dirty chimney being lit most of the time, with the only expectation being late at night when he paints. He smells like watercolor and acrylic then. Though it’s always fleeting.

Michael Shelley - Michael smells soft like laundry that was just taken out of the dryer. When Distortion Michael has a smell he smells like laundry that was just taken out of the dryer but also tv static mixed with coffee cake and lilac. Maybe.

Helen Richardson - Helen Richardson smells like her favorite strawberry lotion and perfume. Distortion Helen smells like strong lemon cleaning products, making her smell like a sterile hotel lobby in a way that’s both familiar and distressing. She has a much more consistent scent than Distortion Michael since she’s a bit more stable. But it’s still unsettling.

Both Gerry and Michael have quite a few scars.

Gerry’s scars mostly come from living a life that’s entangled with fears. He has burns all over his body from the Desolation Leitner that went wrong. He has burns all over his hands as a consequence of all the things he’s had to set on fire over the years. He has slash scars, and bug bite scars, and even a scar he left over from a rash caused by The Corruption. All of them remind him of the world he lives in, and he couldn’t get rid of them even if he wanted to.

Michael’s scars tend to come from mundane clumsiness. He has a scar on his finger from not paying enough attention while cutting a carrot. He has a scar on his ankle where he accidentally ran into a corner of his house too hard. He has a scar on his arm where he tried to pick up a stray cat. All of his scars come from perfectly normal things that he doesn’t really linger on because they don’t hold any significance to his life. They’re just there.

Neither of them really know what brings about the conversation, but after knowing each other for a few months Michael and Gerry get on the topic of scars. Gerard tells the harrowing stories of some of his worst ones, and Michael is embarrassed to admit all the clumsy ways he got his. Despite his hesitation he tells Gerry about all the little moments in life that ended up leaving him with a scar. He expects laughter or at least a little smile due to the severe contrast in their stories, but he’s surprised when he’s met with quiet contemplation from Gerry instead.

Awhile after they start dating Gerry and Michael are walking by a park and Gerry spots a rose bush. He goes to get one of the flowers for Michael and end’s up with a thorn in his finger. Michael helps him get it out, but it still end’s up leaving a tiny scar, one that Michael doesn’t think much about. Clumsy misgivings are normal to him. They’re just a possible part of his day to day and now he guesses they’re a part of Gerry’s too.

But he doesn’t miss the way Gerard runs his fingers along his scar in the moments where he feels like he doesn’t belong in the normal world. Or the way that he jokes that it was “hard earned” despite being one of the least severe injuries that he has ever gotten.

One day when they’re passing the same rose bush that gave Gerry his scar, Michael jokes that the bush is a lot more dangerous then it looks. Gerard laughs and agrees, and Michael takes the opportunity to apologize for the thorn incident since he was getting the flower for him in the first place. But Gerard just shrugs and says that it was no big deal. “That scar has my favorite story, anyways.”