25/05/2021 23:02:30 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

valtsv:

> valtsv:

> > valtsv:

> > > valtsv:

> > > > it would be fun if an angel and a vampire were friends i think

> > > vampire: ugh, you mortals simply can’t comprehend the timescale i live on. i’ve watched your empires rise and fall, your cities crumble to dust. i find your short little lives amusing at best. i -

> > > angel: HI, I HAVE BEEN ALIVE SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME AND I NOTICED YOU ARE ALSO SOMEWHAT OLD?

> > > vampire: …sure. hey what was the dawn of time like?

> > > angel: PRETTY BORING ACTUALLY. NOTHING ELSE EXISTED YET.

> > > vampire: oh, man, i feel you. i slept through, like, the entire 14th century it was so boring. everyone was dying of plague and shit anyway so i didn’t miss much.

> > vampire: hey i am outside your apartment

> > angel: YOU’VE JUST BEEN STANDING THERE? FOR HOW LONG?

> > vampire: uhhhhhhh a mere speck in comparison to our immortal lives so don’t worry about it honestly. i need you to invite me in though.

> > angel: OF COURSE, I’M SO SORRY. PLEASE COME IN.

> > vampire: *steps over the threshold and immediately starts hissing and coughing like a cat with a bad hairball*

> > angel: OH, I’M SO SORRY. MY APARTMENT IS CONSIDERED HOLY GROUND BECAUSE I LIVE IN IT. I SHOULD HAVE WARNED YOU.

> > vampire: *coughing* it’s fine. do you - *cough* *wheeze* what are your thoughts on chinese? i know a great place just a couple of blocks from here

> everyone replying to this with “and they were lovers”? target audience

gasp and they were roommates