trying to figure out how jon would realistically relate to his queerness is a bit of a never ending conundrum, because, on the one hand, he’s a super emotionally repressed and ashamed person who spends a lot of his arc at turns feverishly adhering to and trying to free himself from a highly gendered performance of class. his instinctive response to feeling vulnerable is to cover up his emotions, deepen his voice, exaggerate his accent, and make it look like he’s above all those weak-willed credulous idiots to disguise the fact that he very much feels like a weak-willed credulous idiot. he’s so used to ignoring his emotions that he can’t even figure out what they are when directly asked by his dearest loved one, and he’s got a, shall we say, Bad relationship to his body and his feelings of ownership over it.
on the other hand, he uses terminology like “male presenting” in his own private notes, he exclusively wears his ex gf’s clothes for two months without batting an eyelid, he has basically no reaction at all to finding out other people in his social circle are queer, he dgaf about experiencing homophobic microaggressions, and his romantic relationship with a man is potentially the only thing in the entire show that he isn’t paranoid about fucking up and losing. to me this paints a picture of a person who has manged to internalize really quite crushing and life-altering queerphobia about everything except, somehow, for his actual queerness. he thinks he’s a lily-livered spineless wimp and an inhuman heartless abomination but that has nothing to do with his biromantic asexuality.
