Not too short or tall, not fat or too thin. With hair, a nose and eyes. Look, hes hot and sexy because he’s an ambiguous gendered male pronoun character who’s openly gay imminently. His hotness comes from his lack of description and his silly, whimsical nature. As a “The idea of having sex with my physical body is kinda yuck” ace, I would have sex with him irl if given the chance. He is the ONLY exception for my own minds rule. While that might not be real propaganda or whatever it should have weigh of how hot he is.
John Doe/The Entity (Malevolent):
He is literally the hottest character. It’s literally just a hot voice and yellow eyes, the rest is up to your imagination Also funny??? He is so funny please, we love a entity with humor Rip to Arthur but if I would get possessed by John I would do anything he ask no question asked.
De-throned eldritch god who willingly fractured himself because he cared so much about the guy whose body he was originally trying to steal. Literally has control of said guy’s eyes, and eventually one of his hands. The inherent homoeroticism of two people sharing a body and struggling to hold on to their humanity and so on.
Sharing a body with someone is already intimate without being a incomprehensible being from another dimension with memory problems
An amnesiac fragment of an Elder God trapped in a dread tome, and now bound to the eyes of a private detective
#mari is sexiest #john archivist is the most eyeful #cecil is the most narratorly #kass is both sexy and narratory #but john doe is the full packidge baaaaby #he may not be the best in a single category but he’s an even split across all three #i dont know who nickignik is and at this point im afraid to ask so [they get] Sexy Eyes