2022-06-20 19:23:23 ¶ ● ⬈

avatarofthebeholding:

> Theories About the Ways Eric Delano Tried to Quit the Institute:

> 1. Blackmailing Jonah (James Wright)

> 2. Locking Jonah in artifact storage (“Mr. Wright, I refuse to let you out until you fire me”)

> 3. Just straight up laying across Jonah’s desk and refusing to move. Or in the doorway of his office. Basically trying to annoy Jonah into firing him. (Once he stood in the doorway of Jonah’s office and chanted “Fire me” for the whole day. Another time he glued down everything on Jonah’s desk.)

> 4. Changing his name (“My name isn’t the name on the employment contract anymore so it’s not legally binding to me anymore right?”)

> 5. Burning all the case files he was working on - if everything he’d been assigned to do was gone, maybe his tie to the Institute would be broken?

> 6. Destroying all of the security cameras.

> 7. Telling EVERYONE at the Institute, even outside of the Archives, about the Eye (and encouraging them all to quit). Even if they didn’t believe him, he made it a point to Never. Stop. Talking about it. If only so they ended up quitting because the weird archival assistant wouldn’t leave them alone. (Eric’s reasoning was that maybe if was Seen for what it was , and lost victims in the form of employees leaving, the Eye would let him go to prevent subsequent losses).

> 8. Covering up all of the windows in the Archives/at home so nobody could see out (or in) and then pulling a Natalie Ennis (unscrewing all the lightbulbs)

> 9. Writing a letter of resignation. It physically pained him. He did it anyway.

> 10. Breaking into Jonah’s office to find (and burn) his employment contract.

> 11. Somehow getting his hands on one of the closed-eye sigil People’s Church necklaces and wearing it every day (so it would hopefully protect him from the Eye’s sight)

> 12. When the necklace didn’t work, getting a closed-eye tattoo

> 13. When the tattoo didn’t work, trying to JOIN the People’s Church. They didn’t let him in.

> 14. Making a paper mache double and not showing up for a week (it ended up Stranger-aligned, and he got sick anyway)

> 15. Bringing a different one of Mary’s Leitners to work every day for a solid month or so, including but not limited to…

> - The one that drops animal bones
> - One that generates worms when you open it
> - One that shoots spiderwebs at whatever it’s aimed at when you open it
> - One that never stops playing circus music

> 16. Releasing a tarantula in the break room (“ok Web do your thing”). Emma found it and ended up keeping it as a pet.

> 17. Filling Jonah’s office with creepy dolls that may or may not have been Stranger aligned

> 18. Filling Jonah’s office with Stranger-aligned taxidermied animals from the Trophy Room. Which just succeeded in annoying Jonah and the animals.

> 19. Invoking the Spiral and just. Lying. At every possible opportunity.

> 20. Faking his own death…everyone was VERY surprised when he showed up at work a week later.

> 21. Bringing a HUGE Corruption-aligned ant farm into the Archives after everyone had gone home one night.

> 22. Filling the break room fridge with raw meat (Emma looked at the fridge, looked at Eric - who was absolutely SOAKED in blood - and went, “Still not fired?”)

> 23. Every time he was asked to lock up (Jonah really should’ve known better), and saw an avatar of one of the other Entities nearby, just casually announcing, “OH I’M JUST GONNA LEAVE. THE SPARE KEY TO THIS EYE STRONGHOLD. UNDER THIS MAT RIGHT HERE.”

> 24. Randomly mailing away statements (with the wrong return address on them).

> 25. Trying to bribe HR to terminate his employment contract

> 26. Hiring a lawyer to look through a blank copy of the archives employment contract and (hopefully) find some way he can get himself fired.

> 27. A lot of WEIRD conversations with union reps (“Look, I just want to get fired so I can spend time with my son.”). He’d get the response “I’d LOVE that kind of job security!” at least once during every. Single. One of those conversations.

> 28. Refusing to accept his paychecks

> 29. BURNING his paychecks

> 30. After a conversation with Adelard Dekker, he once tried to fill the archives with cement after hours.

> 31. After reading a statement about the Buried almost drowning someone, he turned on the sinks in all the bathrooms before he left one night to try and flood the Institute.

> 32. Shoveling dirt from the courtyard into a wheelbarrow and dumping it in Jonah’s office (“This is now the domain of the Buried. FIRE ME.”)

> 33. Bringing a clown into the Archives. Like, just a random clown. (“LOOK! I’m Stranger-aligned!” *hugs clown* “I am the Eye’s Arch-enemy!!!”)

> 34. Stealing all the keys to the Archives after locking up (again, Jonah should really know better) one night. Can’t be a job if no one can get into the building, right?

> 35. Using stencils and spray paint to cover the walls of the archives (and Jonah’s office) in fractals

> 36. Paying people to come in and give false statements

> 37. After finding Barnabas Bennett’s bones in Jonah’s office, he positioned them outside the door to the institute to scare off potential statement givers.

> (Thank you to @demasc , @ofdreamsanddoodles , & @cuttlefishkitch for helping me brainstorm for this monster list!)