Someone smarter than me please make a post about how like. Jon spent most of season 5 five correcting people when they referred to Jonah as Elias, but when he actually spoke to him again himself, he fell back into those same patterns as well and instinctively referred to him as Elias because I feel like there’s some excellent points to be made there but alas I lack the braincells to make them myself
#oh it’s abt denying familiarity towards your maker #the one who knows you down to every brush stroke #because you can’t let yourself be their creation can’t admit the intimate knowledge they have of your being (and in turn you of theirs) #because then its personal. then its about you and its about someone you know and #you can’t keep pretending this is some far-reaching worldsmashing good vs evil conflict next to which you’re nothing #its between the two of you the conflict is centered on you and the rest of the world just happens to fall within your scope #jon would love to claim insignificance and deny his agency and with ‘jonah’ he almost can #logically Jon knows jonah is elias but he doesn’t KNOW it. Jonah is a name that he’s heard not a person he knew. #it’s easy to deny a connection to and condemn JONAH #with that name jon doesn’t need to acknowledge his own conflicted thoughts and emotions wrt to #the person who always inexplicably regarded him as unique special hard to replace #who was - matters of taste aside - jon’s chosen lifeline when he was #wracked with paranoia or doubting his humanity or starving for information #who never looked at him with horror (more than can be said for most of jon’s friends and colleagues with whom he is currently siding) #but rather like he was seeing something precious and beautiful #the person who shaped him into the what he is today - a thing capable of #incredible power knowledge and sight to the point of complete understanding #and it’s a gift jon is trying so hard to see as terrible rather than wondrous #with the name ‘jonah’ - a name jon can hardly put a face to - all that can be ignored.#but then his companions say ‘elias’ and it’s just habit for them #it doesn’t mean anything when clearly it SHOULD and he corrects them #beholding is all about seeing and maybe if jon forces elias to become jonah #(his true name a name that simply stands for an evil and unknowable figure) #he’ll finally see his true nature #he’ll finally see things clearly and choices will be easier they won’t be personal #he can take down the monster without having to acknowledge it’s twin inside himself #so he calls him jonah and insists everyone else do the same #but its easy to deny your maker when you’re not staring them in the face seeing yourself reflected back in their eyes #and suddenly knowing exactly who you’re seeing #anyway that was a really wordy way to say that names hold intimacy