i am once again losing my fucking mind over the concept of one-sided jonhelen. helen says to jon “she liked you.” and what that really means is “she made me like you”. the distortion inherits feelings, we know it inherited michael’s anger. imagine being both the water and the blood bleeding into it, you feel yourself dissolving into someone else but you are the someone else you’re dissolving into. and then you are one, and you have feelings that were never meant to be yours.
just as michael’s hatred of gertrude made him terrorize jon when he was the distortion, i like to think that helen’s love for jon made her follow him around the way she did. she wanted to be around him, and she couldn’t understand why.
there’s also the lack of dignity of it all. going from trying to kill someone to being hopelessly in love with them within a moment. being essentially forced into that unrequited love, and knowing that any second, if they just looked in the right direction, they’d know. a being of pure delusion falling in love with a being of infinite knowledge and exposed secrets. the only person capable of uncovering the truth about her is also the person she’s in love with. she continues to willingly put herself into that situation where her very being could be torn into at any second.
i am inventing fucked up scenarios you haven’t even considered okay