Thinking about Jon mourning his relationship with Elias and doing it alone.
Thinking about Jon having so many little fond memories of Elias. Discussions with him when he still worked in research. Little bickering arguments from when Jon was first promoted. His fondness for scheduling. Thinking about Jon missing those times so much that it aches. Thinking about Jon mourning the person he thought he knew, the person he did know, the connection they always had. When Elias is in prison and won’t even see him. When Elias is in the panopticon above the world, far away from Jon. Thinking about Jon still caring about Elias, missing him despite everything.
Jon would have all those little memories of Elias, I think. And he would pick over them, and wonder which ones were real (all of them, in a way), and which ones were lies (all of them, in a way). And he would never be able to say anything. Because he’s the only one who ever had that connection to Elias, and by the time Elias is out of Jon’s reach nobody who would understand is left.
Just. Just thinking of Jon mourning his relationship with Elias, and having to do it alone.