Relistening to Checking Out, and I’ve always liked this scene in particular, as it is one that’s very open to interpretation.
I believe, from what I’ve seen personally at least, one or the most common interpretations is that Helen’s observation is either incorrect, or intentionally misleading, and that Jon’s response actually stems from touch aversion, or a degree of it, attributed to his trauma, particularly moments where he’s been left helpless and at the whims of others. E.g. Kidnapped by the Circus, almost killed by Daisy etc. And while I think this interpretation is both interesting and plausible, I don’t think I’ve seen much for the opposite interpretation, which is that Helen’s observation is correct.
It can be difficult to talk about Jon’s humanity sometimes, as there’s a lot of nuance and layers to cover. The fact is, Jon, especially in season five, does not completely think like a human. He is simultaneously a painfully human character such with deep compassion and guilt and self-loathing, while also being a being of immense knowledge who sees and understands the world in a different light, and in a way no one else can possibly comprehend, which has to be very isolating all things considered.
As with everything in TMA, Jon makes a choice, and his choice is to end the apocalypse, to stay with Martin, and to stay as human as he possibly can. We know from Annabelle that had she have taken Martin, who is presumably acting as one of his main anchors to humanity, Jon potentially would have snapped completely, the final push over the edge as she puts it. It has to be a difficult thing for him, to try and balance his existence when he is so fundamentally changed, and when this world naturally feels right to him, and you could argue that him snapping at the mother here is simply his instinct, being what he is.
He is The Archivist, the meant-to-be Pupil of the Eye, one of the most important beings present, and so it makes sense there’s almost an instinctive detachment from the victims. He is meant to Watch them, and Watching means no physical interaction. By touching him, the mother has broken this barrier, and so, instinctually, he reacts — with anger, notably.
I’d say it’s meant to contrast how we see him acting prior to the touch, where he seems genuinely sympathetic with the mother, and he is trying to help in what little way he can. Because before she touches him, that gap between Watched and Watcher is still firm in place, and so he can handle that.
Bearing in mind, I haven’t re-listened to the rest of season five with this, so I may have missed something.
I also think both interpretations can co-exist too, and that could be just as interesting to explore. Either way, I find that, with Jon, it’s important to consider his status in the Eyepocalypse and his nature vs his choices, although, his nature vs his choices goes for the whole series I think, as choice is such a consistent theme in TMA and in the Avatars.
wanted to rant about this one. anyways it’s about jon’s final choice, killing the world or the fears’ apotheosis. head versus heart. so the right side, the side that’s furthest from his heart, is meant to be the rational choice. the tape recorder and him looking towards it signifies that with that option he would continue listening and being listened to, and keep watch until the end. his fate is sealed no matter what so he’s still entangled in tapes, but the eyes on his hands are uncovered and vigilant. and the left side, the choice guided by emotion, has him holding the web’s lighter with a tape over his heart. the eyes on his hands are covered, he cannot view the lighter, and he is averting his gaze, because to follow that path would leave his fate unknown. also, he’s just ignited the lighter, but his hold on the tape recorder is loose and it is unclear whether he has already pressed record.
