in the same way as positioning jm as a healthy and happy couple is annoying, claiming they’re a pinnacle of “toxic yaoi” or whatever is annoying. no, they’re not. they’re simply not that interesting
there is a conversation to be had about their relationship in s4-5 specifically. how they stick with each other just to have some illusion of normalcy (which is especially important to Jon) despite not knowing each other all that well. how Martin treats him in s5 – belittling and dehumanizing him, laughing at him, enjoying his newfound powers, and then blaming Jon for enjoying it too. kinda fucked up! but the reason why I don’t find them very appealing to me (despite very much enjoying fucked up relationships) is that 1) they have no underlying chemistry that would make their suffering count, 2) all of that is not really a conversion on its own, it’s more of a specific example of how Jon’s monstrousness is being treated by most people, if that makes sense? like, Martin is not special for blaming Jon for being an avatar. almost everyone does that. the only thing that sets Martin aside from everyone else is that he is in a romantic relationship with Jon, and therefore, he feels like he has the right to treat Jon like his unruly pet. the fandom has picked up on it too, whether they know it or not – their relationship is often seen as Jon’s only redeeming, “human” quality (which is why there are so many “love makes you human” takes). how very brave Martin is for taking it upon himself to tame this morally inferior beast that Jon has become! (though, to be honest, Jon is being infantilised even in early-seasons depictions of him. and again, Martin is the only person actually capable of fixing him, of course)
it’s just an extrapolated version of what Jon has been hearing for seasons now. it’s a case study of how people treat him. but, again, it’s not very unique. there are people who have far more interesting relationships with Jon’s non-humanness – from Daisy and Helen to, of course, Elias
…or something like that