2020-09-10 3:47:51 ¶ ●

## This is what the cool kids call a “big oof”

( @sargent-major-jane I deeply apologize for how disappointing this is gonna be- re-writing songs really isn’t one of my strong points)

Ok. So here’s probably the only parody song I put even a drop of effort into-

It’s a parody of Hans of the Southern Isles from the broadway version of Frozen

(And here’s a link to that- please listen to it first if you don’t know it- it’s very short so don’t worry about it taking up too much time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCIuNPArM6Y )

And here’s the re-write version, replacing Hans and Anna with Edmund and Goneril:

“Wait! You don’t have to hide your intentions! Mrs. “oh,.. I love my dad!”… because I’m well aware that you have reasons to be mad….

I’m only the bastard son of an earl

Of a boring city

Full of boring people

Living their lives

So no one remembers my humble face

Or my charm and grace

Of all praise I am deprived

I’ve spend many nights thinking

And finally made a plan

To claim my rightful title

To get revenge, the money and the land!

So please allow me to work beside you

Trust that I will do my best to serve and guide you

I can relate- my father’s crazy and my brother’s gone!

So you see, we are quit the same

So let’s win this game

And together we’ll live on”

And that’s that- enjoy this beautiful train wreck of a song

2020-09-29 23:29:18 ¶ ●

## “Dead Dad”- a Hamlet song parody to the tune of Dead Mom

(Ok- so this is barely a parody. It’s basically just the original song but with “mom” changed to “dad”.

Changes will be bolder so you can easily find them.

Original song (Dead Mom from Beetlejuice) linked here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEct4Nod2iU )

Hey dad, dead dad
I need a little help here
I’m prob'ly talking to myself here
But dead dad, I gotta ask
Are you really in the ground?
‘Cause I hear you all around me
Are you here, dead dad?
Dead dad

Dead dad,

I’m tired of trying to iron out my creases

I’m a bunch of broken pieces
It was you who made me whole
Every day they’re staring at me
Like all, “Hurry up, get happy
Move along
Forget about your dad”

'Cause mother’s in denial
Mother doesn’t wanna feel
She wants me to smile
And clap like a performing seal
Was faking for a while
But I might lose my mind for real
You won’t believe the mess that we’ve become

You’re my home
My destination
And I’m your clone
Your strange creation
You held my hand
And life came easy
Now jokes don’t land
And no one sees me
Nothing seems to fit
Father is this it?
Are you receiving?
I want something to believe in or I’ll go mad

They’ll soon ship me to England

or I’ll be here in Denmark

Call when vengeance can be had!
Mother’s moving forward
Mother didn’t lose a dad

Father won’t you send a sign?
I’m running out of hope and time
My two friends spied, My girlfriend died
Hope’s nowhere to be had

No more playing Uncle’s game
I’ll go insane if things don’t change
Whatever it takes ‘til vengeance can be claimed
Dead dad!