2025-08-21 15:31:55 ¶ ●

# this was funnier in my head

2025-08-24 3:54:15 ¶ ●

tim: I feel like I’m being watched

elias: ehehehe I have nooo idea what you mean!! that’s so weird who could possibly be watching you?? eye would never 🤭

jonathan sims, though the walls of his office: SUPPLEMENTAL: tim had 12 eggs for breakfast. that’s too many eggs. I don’t think he’s human.

elias: …

tim: …

elias: OH you meant– yeah jonathan’s definitely stalking you. you should probably confront him about that.

2025-08-26 0:36:24 ¶ ●

“average archivist get 5 assistants killed” factoid is actually a statistical error. Web Emma, who loves messing with people and gets 100 assistants killed, is an outlier adn should not be counted

also she’s not an archivist.

2025-08-31 4:39:14 ¶ ●

# the magnus archives is a podcast. about doors.