2020-06-01 5:05:06 ¶ ●

## Ranking all TCOMC on how bad their crimes were

Here’s how the ranking works-

Whichever character gets the highest score is the worst.

—————————

Intentional= +5

Intentional but mean for someone else= +4

Kinda intentional= +3

Unintentional= +1

—————————

For a morally bad reason= +5

For a morally eh reason= +3

For a morally good reason= +1

—————————

Legit murder= +5

Attempted murder= +3

A different crime that’s pretty bad but not murder= +1

—————————

I’ll also probably make one of these for Shakespeare stuff, but TCOMC is so convoluted that I wanted to start with it.

Ah also I’ll be starting the ranking in the next post.

2020-06-01 5:20:11 ¶ ●

## TCOMC character crime ranking part 1

Ok so the book starts off with some neat crime

- Danglars intentionally comes up with the plan to frame Dantes, because he was jealous that Dantes got promoted to captain instead of him. He gets +11 for intentionally committing a non-murder crime for a bad reason.

-Fernand is too stupid to get the full 5 points on how intentional it was- it wasn’t even his plan. So it’ll count as +3. His reason for going along with the plan was out of jealousy for Dantes marrying his crush. Pretty bad reason, he gets +5. And again, it’s not murder, so +1. So now he has +9.

-Caderousse was just there? Like he didn’t do anything yet, he was just there when they were plotting against Dantes. And he was drunk, so he can’t really be counted as a legit witness to the plot? So I’ll give him a +2 for being stupid enough to hand out with people who are plotting to frame other people.

-Edmond Dantes has gotta be here for carrying the letter in the first place. I’m only gonna give him a plus 1 for it, but I can’t give him nothing because if I don’t count treason now, I won’t be able to count it later. And there’s a whole bunch of treason in this book.

So the totals so far-

Baron Danglars: 11

Fernand Mondego/de Morcerf: 9

Gaspard Caderousse: 2

Edmond Dantes: 1

Part 2 will be posted eventually

2020-06-01 5:30:46 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

## TCOMC character crime ranking part 1

edettethegreat:

> edettethegreat:

> > Ok so the book starts off with some neat crime

> > - Danglars intentionally comes up with the plan to frame Dantes, because he was jealous that Dantes got promoted to captain instead of him. He gets +11 for intentionally committing a non-murder crime for a bad reason.

> > -Fernand is too stupid to get the full 5 points on how intentional it was- it wasn’t even his plan. So it’ll count as +3. His reason for going along with the plan was out of jealousy for Dantes marrying his crush. Pretty bad reason, he gets +5. And again, it’s not murder, so +1. So now he has +9.

> > -Caderousse was just there? Like he didn’t do anything yet, he was just there when they were plotting against Dantes. And he was drunk, so he can’t really be counted as a legit witness to the plot? So I’ll give him a +2 for being stupid enough to hand out with people who are plotting to frame other people.

> > -Edmond Dantes has gotta be here for carrying the letter in the first place. I’m only gonna give him a plus 1 for it, but I can’t give him nothing because if I don’t count treason now, I won’t be able to count it later. And there’s a whole bunch of treason in this book.

> > So the totals so far-

> > Baron Danglars: 11

> > Fernand Mondego/de Morcerf: 9

> > Gaspard Caderousse: 2

> > Edmond Dantes: 1

> > Part 2 will be posted eventually

> As much as I’m aware that Villefort will be in part 2, I somewhat dread unpacking all of his crimes. How many points will he get right away? How many crimes does he really commit the first time he interacts with Dantes? He framed him, also burned government info, also intentionally hid a criminal’s crimes from the government, and that’s all just in the first chapter that he interacts with anyone other than Renee and her family.

> Wow the more I think about it, the more crimes he committed. I thought Heloise would be ranked above him with all her intentional and successful murder, but now I’m starting to think Villefort might have the highest crime score in the end

WAIT NO. Dantes did a bunch of sketchy stuff. In the end idk who comes out higher up on the crime score rankings.

2020-06-01 20:28:21 ¶ ●

## TCOMC crime ranking part 2!

-Villefort sending Dantes to the Chateau D’If gives him a plus 11, burning the letter gives him a plus 5, and while technically protecting his father can be seen as a nice thing to do, we all know he only did it to protect his job- and since his father is technically a criminal and he’s keeping him out of jail, that gives him a plus 6. Leaving him with 22.

-Faria’s attempted prison break is technically illegal, so I’m gonna have to give him a plus 1.

-Noirtier’s overall treason gets a plus 5.

-Napoleon’s overall crimes would get a plus 15 but I’m not counting him in this since he isn’t really a character here.

Totals-

Gerard de Villefort- 22

Baron Danglars- 11

Fernand Mondego/de Morcerf- 9

Noirtier de Villefort- 5

Gaspard Caderousse- 2

Edmond Dantes- 1

Abbe Faria- 1

2020-06-02 2:57:15 ¶ ●

I certainly will, @blinded-by-forest-sunlight​

2020-06-03 23:24:12 ¶ ●

I don’t get how tall people sleep, because I, a short person, always feel like my normal size blankets should really be longer.

2020-06-04 1:32:59 ¶ ●

##

Give hamlet a death note

This is so random but I’m gonna do it

(Forgive my poor art skills)

Sorry but Hamlet only speaks danish (and probably a few other languages).

He doesn’t know modern English

2020-06-04 18:53:09 ¶ ●

##

Ok then give hamlet a danish death note

Sure why not

2020-06-04 22:54:43 ¶ ●

I keep seeing memes about ATLA and so I decided to watch it. Here are some things in the first 4 episodes that I didn’t expect-

1- Aang (if that’s how you spell it) is actually really good at airbending? I thought he was gonna start out really bad at everything and have to learn how to do stuff

2- Zuko (that’s the fire dude right?) is the main antagonist at the moment- not something I expected from all the memes. Like I knew he was gonna be an antagonist at the beginning, just not the main one

3- water girl and her brother (both people with forgettable names) are wayyyyy more annoying than I thought they’d be. I’m sure they’ll become less annoying soon, but right now they’re both pretty annoying.

And that’s it

2020-06-05 1:35:26 ¶ ●

## TCOMC crime point thing part 3!

-Villefort gets a plus 5 for lying to Morrel that he would help Dantes, because why??? Actually knock that up to a plus 7, because I’m gonna give him a plus 5 for ignoring Bertuccio, so if outright ignoring (but being honest that you don’t care about helping people) gets 5 points, then lying and pretending to help someone should get at least 7.

-Edmond gets plus 5 for the prison break, but -3 for being cool. So only a plus 2 I guess. But I’ll give him the plus 3 back for working with smugglers.

-Caderousse gets a plus 10 for existing right now, because I’m not in the mood to analyze him, yet here he is, on page 243. At the moment he’s not gonna commit any crimes (but give him a day or two and he’ll start his crime spree. Ya know what’s coming next). From this point on everyone’s gonna be committing crimes right and left and I won’t have to make up Non-crime reasons to give people points.

Totals-

Gerard de Villefort- 29

Gaspard Caderousse- 12

Baron Danglars- 11

Fernand Mondego- 9

Edmond Dantes- 6

Noirtier de Villefort- 5

Abbe Faria- 1

2020-06-05 1:58:03 ¶ ●

2020-06-05 14:59:49 ¶ ●

##

Hola! Merchant of Venice hits harder in the melancholy state of the world and generally what's going on around. Thoughts?

True. Any book about racism or any other form of discrimination just feels different now. Maybe because a year ago we thought “hey it’s not like people will revert back to their extremely discriminatory ways, right?”

But now we know that people can and will.

2020-06-05 19:50:09 ¶ ● ⬈

ryn347:

> hey i had to read count of monte cristo for a school project and i wasn’t paying enough attention because school project but i heard there are lesbians? can someone confirm or deny

I shall confirm, and also say that one of them is definitely one of the coolest people in the entire book

2020-06-05 19:50:59 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

edettethegreat:

> ryn347:

> > hey i had to read count of monte cristo for a school project and i wasn’t paying enough attention because school project but i heard there are lesbians? can someone confirm or deny

> I shall confirm, and also say that one of them is definitely one of the coolest people in the entire book

She leaves her engagement ceremony thing to run away with her girlfriend

2020-06-05 21:22:44 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

travalerray:

> edettethegreat:

> > edettethegreat:

> > > ryn347:

> > > > hey i had to read count of monte cristo for a school project and i wasn’t paying enough attention because school project but i heard there are lesbians? can someone confirm or deny

> > > I shall confirm, and also say that one of them is definitely one of the coolest people in the entire book

> > She leaves her engagement ceremony thing to run away with her girlfriend

> Wait, who—

> I am sorry, my copy of the book had a lot of pages missing in that part

Eugenie Danglars and Louise d’Armilly

At Eugenie’s engagement thing/whatever that event was where she was supposed to sign the contract with Andrea, she just straight up left with Louise when the cops showed up. Here’s the exact quote from the book of what she and Louise say about it-

“An ironic smile formed on Eugenie’s lips. “I really am fated,” she said. “I escape from Morcerf and find Cavalcanti!”

“Oh Eugenie, don’t confuse one with the other.”

“Be quiet. All men are scoundrels and I am happy to be able to do more than hate them: now I despise them.”

“What can we do?” Louise asked.

“what shall we do?”

“yes.”

“The very thing we should have done three days ago: leave.””

——————

(For context on the Morcerf and Cavalcanti line- Morcerf is a guy she was engaged to who she didn’t like and Cavalcanti was a guy she was engaged to who was an outright criminal)

Anyway it goes on to how they run away and book a hotel together. The book doesn’t go with the trope of “oh no there’s only one bed!” But rather goes with “we got a room with two beds but we only used one”

And I quote -

“The two women were sleeping in one bed and the noise woke them up.”

There are other things in the book that makes it clear that Eugenie’s definitely a lesbian, maybe I’ll list them in another post. As for Louise, idk if she’s a lesbian or not because she’s not really a main character, but she’s definitely not straight.

2020-06-05 23:03:49 ¶ ●

## More stuff I’ve gotta say about watching ATLA for the first time after seeing a bunch of memes about it

-that masked guy was Zuko????? I was genuinely not expecting that

-both aang and Zuko’s uncle guy are both very chill in the face of danger and I love that about them

-genuine question but how come the firebenders can make fire? Water and earth benders can’t just create water and earth, and I’m gonna assume air benders are using the air around them and not creating new air, so how come the firebenders are just like WOOSH HERE’S SOME FIRE

2020-06-06 1:24:35 ¶ ●

## Even more stuff I’ve gotta say about watching ATLA for the first time after seeing a bunch of memes about it

-every single episode so far has been like:

Aang: I’m gonna go to this random place because I feel like it!

Water girl+bro: ok.

Zuko: THE AVATAR! HE’S HEADING THAT WAY! I MUST GO THERE AND CAPTURE THE AVATAR!

-People in this word are either completely unimpressed that the ultra famous avatar is somehow back again, or they think it’s cool for like 5 seconds and then they’re unimpressed. Isn’t he the equivalent of some ultra famous celebrity or something? Why is everyone like “you’re the avatar? Ok. I’m just gonna go back to what I was doing before you showed up. Bye.”

-that one fire nation general (or whatever he is) is giving off some serious Scar vibes (ya know, that one character from the lion king?). He’s all like “someone killed Zuko? Someone blew up his boat? How unfortunate. Truly a tragedy.”

-oooooh wait cool uncle dude betrayed him and Zuko was with them! I mean I expected him to betray general fire dude but I somehow didn’t see it smoking that Zuko was with them

2020-06-07 5:30:13 ¶ ●

## TCOMC characters- Book VS Movie

Book Caderousse: In his 20s at the beginning, and in his 40s or 50s (also dead) at the end. He’s probably drunk like 90% of the time.

Movie Caderousse: A very stupid old man.

Book Edmond: He starts out young and naive, but post chateau d’if he’s driven to revenge and sees the world in a much darker way.

Movie Edmond: REVENGE! IS! THE! ONLY! THING! THAT! MATTERS!

Book Eugenie: A smart, independent girl who pretty much every guy is intimidated by. In a stable and happy relationship with her girlfriend.

Movie Eugenie: Valentine, for some reason.

Book Albert: Passionate, loves his family, a bit too impulsive at times but it pretty chill with getting kidnapped by criminals.

Movie Albert: literally just a stupid and naive child.

Book Mercedes: A pretty good and well written character.

Movie Mercedes: love interest #1 for Dantes.

Book Maximilien: Cool soldier dude, also has normal human emotions (which you don’t see in all that many male characters tbh)

Movie Maximilien: Albert, for some reason.

Book Valentine: REALLY cares about her grandfather, also cares about Maximilien.

Movie Valentine: REALLY cares about Albert, who she’s dating for some reason? Also maybe cares about her grandfather?

Book Benedetto: ya know Edmund from King Lear? Ok, well he’s been reincarnated in 1817 for some reason. This is him. (For those of you who want a better description: nearly everyone who meets him trusts his for some reason even though they shouldn’t, he’s repeatedly described as a good looking dude, he lies and deceives people for the sake of getting money, and is a bastard in every regard.)

Movie Benedetto: standard stereotypical scam artist.

Book Villefort: A morally grey dude who has really poor judgement (which is ironic considering his career). He just won’t stop making horrible decisions. He literally won’t stop. And he thinks “hey, I’m not that bad..” but he is.

Movie Villefort: PURE EVIL. IS EVIL JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT.

Book Noirtier: ultimate badass.

Movie Noirtier: crippled old guy.

Book Danglars: relatively young at the start, pretty clever dude.

Movie Danglars: much older than everyone else, also has no personality whatsoever.

Book Fernand: not the brightest. Also not a good person. But he cares about his family at least (and is the only one of the 3.5 main antagonists to care about his family).

Movie Fernand: EVIL. HATES HIS FAMILY.

Book Faria: wise old man

Movie Faria: also wise old man. The movies don’t mess up Faria that much.

Book Any character that doesn’t appear in movies (Franz, Beauchamp…): has a cool backstory and a unique personality.

Movie Any character that doesn’t appear in movies: non- existent.

2020-06-07 19:28:49 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

thehappy-landfill:

> the-armed-utahn:

> > 3:55am

> i cannot believe op left out the best part, all of the fucking memes that came from this

2020-06-08 3:24:17 ¶ ●

## TCOMC crime point thing part 4!

-Edmond gets a plus 20 for CONSTANTLY lying about his identity. he be like “hey I’m Bussoni” “hey I’m sinbad the sailor (even though that’s a completely ridiculous alias)” “hey I’m lord wilmore” “heyy I’m THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO”. Sure ya are, Edmond. Sure ya are.

-Caderousse gets a minus 5 for being honest about his involvement in Edmond’s arrest. Then a minus five for “Did you know him? Is he alive? Is he free? Is he happy?”. The fact that he didn’t only ask if Edmond’s alive, but also if he’s free and happy is a pretty neat thing.

-Fernand gets a plus 2 for marrying Mercedes. How dare he.

-The three main conspirators (Danglars, Fernand, and Villefort) get a plus 10 because their actions indirectly resulted in Louis Dantes dying.

-Morrel gets a minus 4 for being a good person

-Mercedes gets a minus 4 for being a good person

Totals-

Gerard de Villefort- 39

Edmond Dantes/count of Monte Cristo- 26

Baron Danglars- 21

Fernand Mondego/de Morcerf- 21

Noirtier de Villefort- 5

Gaspard Caderousse- 2

Abbe Faria- 1

—————

Pierre Morrel- -4

Mercedes de Morcerf- -4

2020-06-08 6:36:26 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

ravens-play-exy-too:

> im-booksmart:

> > major-general-blue:

> > > when you accidentally spoil something important so you spam the person with fake spoilers to try and cover your tracks

> > @major-general-blue these tags are gold

> i haven’t actually read aftg in like a year and the mere fact,,,,,, the fact i had to pause,, and really really try to remember that some of this stuff didn’t happen really goes to show what a clusterfuck aftg is

@major-general-blue I know nothing about the series other than what you post about it (it seems cool and I wanna read it btw), but if someone would tell me all of those tags are true I’d believe them

2020-06-08 14:49:36 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

major-general-blue:

> edettethegreat:

> > ravens-play-exy-too:

> > > im-booksmart:

> > > > major-general-blue:

> > > > > when you accidentally spoil something important so you spam the person with fake spoilers to try and cover your tracks

> > > > @major-general-blue these tags are gold

> > > i haven’t actually read aftg in like a year and the mere fact,,,,,, the fact i had to pause,, and really really try to remember that some of this stuff didn’t happen really goes to show what a clusterfuck aftg is

> > @major-general-blue I know nothing about the series other than what you post about it (it seems cool and I wanna read it btw), but if someone would tell me all of those tags are true I’d believe them

> @edettethegreat it is exactly half true and half fake i dare you to try and guess

OK let’s do this!

Neil switching positions- that could be true why not let’s go with it

Jean dying- I have no clue who Jean is which means that you probably don’t post about him often, so I’m gonna say he lives

Kevin gets a tattoo- sure that could happen I don’t see why not

Characters find their long lost dads- I really wanna say this one’s true because I feel like it’s the type of book for stuff like that to happen in, but idk. How would it even work for multiple characters to find their long lost dads? Either there’s one place where all the long lost dads go (like how socks disappear from the dryer? Yeah it’s the same with dads. All the long lost dads got sucked into the sock void), OR the characters who found the dad are siblings so they only find one dad. So I’m gonna say true.

Renee kills people- I feel like this is a trick question. When I first read it I was like theres no way Renee killed people- she doesn’t seem like the type. But now I’m second guessing myself so I’m gonna say true.

There’s a shootout- yup I don’t see why not

Matt’s related to Nicky- Well I’m gonna have to say false because I already said too many things are true, but I bet this one’s true and the Renee one is actually false.

2020-06-08 20:09:44 ¶ ● ⬈

major-general-blue:

> gym class in public school is just sports made less difficult but with an added melee combat aspect no one asked for

I’m genuinely jealous of your gym class that for some reason has ping pong

2020-06-08 21:57:46 ¶ ●

Tomorrow’s the last day of school and idk what to do with nearly 3 months of summer vacation

2020-06-08 22:27:29 ¶ ●

major-general-blue:

> edettethegreat:

> > Tomorrow’s the last day of school and idk what to do with nearly 3 months of summer vacation

> like maybe

> - building a rocket
> - or fighting a mummy
> - or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
> - discovering something that doesn’t exist
> - or giving a monkey a shower
> - surfing a tidal wave
> - creating nano-bots
> - or locating frankensteins brain
> - finding a dodo bird
> - painting a continent
> - or driving our sister insane

Hmmmm that’s a pretty good list- all those things sound fun but I’m not sure how to do the last one- I don’t have a sister

Other than that the rest seem doable

2020-06-08 23:08:42 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

major-general-blue:

> edettethegreat:

> > major-general-blue:

> > > edettethegreat:

> > > > Tomorrow’s the last day of school and idk what to do with nearly 3 months of summer vacation

> > > like maybe

> > > - building a rocket
> > > - or fighting a mummy
> > > - or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
> > > - discovering something that doesn’t exist
> > > - or giving a monkey a shower
> > > - surfing a tidal wave
> > > - creating nano-bots
> > > - or locating frankensteins brain
> > > - finding a dodo bird
> > > - painting a continent
> > > - or driving our sister insane

> > Hmmmm that’s a pretty good list- all those things sound fun but I’m not sure how to do the last one- I don’t have a sister

> > Other than that the rest seem doable

> you could also get the band back together

Welp I don’t have a band so that’s also gonna be hard to do! Ok I guess I’m gonna have to start a band, then break up the band, then get the band back together.

2020-06-08 23:23:07 ¶ ● ⬈

xladymacbethx:

> I hate when I’m reading a book that I enjoy but it moves SO SLOWLY that I feel like I am drowning in between every word

Ok but what part are you up to? Because the further you go the conversations get more and more entertaining

2020-06-09 1:33:32 ¶ ●

## let’s vote on something totally unrelated to my english final

10 years after the events of Huckleberry Finn, what would Huck be doing?

A- he’d become an actor because he’s super good at pretending to be random people

B- he’d start a slave revolt/ go around freeing slaves

C- he’s be unemployed and do basically whatever he wanted

D- he would open up a business of some sort with Tom

E- idk really I’m surprised I could come up with even one idea

2020-06-09 1:36:07 ¶ ●

There’s some car playing loud music outside and I opened the blinds to see it and the sun just blinded me and I think now I know why they call blinds “blinds”

2020-06-09 2:49:35 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

xladymacbethx:

> edettethegreat:

> > xladymacbethx:

> > > I hate when I’m reading a book that I enjoy but it moves SO SLOWLY that I feel like I am drowning in between every word

> > Ok but what part are you up to? Because the further you go the conversations get more and more entertaining

> I just finished the part where the count leave Alberta house and Mercedes is asking a bunch of questions ab him bc she definitely recognizes him and then the count goes to his house he bought without ever seeing it.

> Conversations are WILD but there is just SO much text. So much for so little to happen.

Yeah the story gets pretty intense from that point on. But get ready for a looooooong backstory- if you found the parts with Mercedes boring you might find 3 chapters of Bertuccio’s backstory boring as well.

2020-06-09 3:07:49 ¶ ●

## HOLD ON I JUST REALIZED

SO we all know Dumas likes to put some Shakespeare parodies in his books, right??

So Maximilien and Valentine are definitely supposed to be Romeo and Juliet with the whole “oh no she’s dead I’m gonna kill myself” and “oh no a Morrel can never be with a Villefort and vice versa” and “but wait! She isn’t actually dead! She just drank the thing that makes it LOOK like she’s dead!”

And Franz is probably supposed to be Paris then

And we all know that Caderousse’s wife is probably supposed to be Lady Macbeth with the whole “Don’t be a coward, you coward! Just murder the guy already!”

So I guess it’s not that far off to compare Benedetto to Edmund of Gloucester? I mean it works out well, with the whole “and I’m not really responsible for anything I do, it’s not my fault I was born lol sorry dad but maybe take better care of your illegitimate kids next time”

I think Dumas probably put a lot more parallels in there that I just didn’t notice?

Maybe Edouard is that kid from Coriolanus? Idk I never read Coriolanus.

Maybe Fernand is Macbeth?

Maybe Albert is Hamlet? ( “I’m gonna avenge my dad/ my dad’s honor! Yeah!” )

Maybe Heloise is both Goneril and Regan? ( “oh boy if only I’d get that neat inheritance money! Also I’m gonna poison people. And poison myself. )

Maybe Edmond is Macduff? ( “my family/ father was killed/ died because of you , and now I’m gonna return to my homeland and get some revenge.” )

Idk can anyone come up with more parallels? I’m sure there are more

I bet every character is a parody of some Shakespearean character

2020-06-09 4:44:56 ¶ ● ⬈

## let’s vote on something totally unrelated to my english final

edettethegreat:

> 10 years after the events of Huckleberry Finn, what would Huck be doing?

> A- he’d become an actor because he’s super good at pretending to be random people

> B- he’d start a slave revolt/ go around freeing slaves

> C- he’s be unemployed and do basically whatever he wanted

> D- he would open up a business of some sort with Tom

> E- idk really I’m surprised I could come up with even one idea

I take it back I came up with a better answer

“In ten years, Huck will become an author. He liked knowing how to read and write, so he continued learning until he could easily write a book. What would he write about? He’ll write about his adventures with Tom and Jim in two books by the names of “Tom Sawyer” and “Huckleberry Finn”. He’ll go by the alias of Mark Twain- after all, we know he loves aliases. And when people catch on that Mark Twain isn’t his real name, he’ll claim that yes, Mark Twain is just a pen name, but his real name is Samuel Clemens. Because Huck never really backs out of a lie.”

2020-06-09 5:47:58 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

aceademic:

> send anti-recommendations. sick of seeing which books i should read. please send books that i should not read at any cost. lengthy explanations necessary and appreciated

Don’t bother reading My Antonia

Anyone who’s followed me for a while knows my absolute hatred for that book. It is, by far, the most boring book I’ve ever read in my life.

It’s about this kid named Jim I think, and he moves to a farm in Nebraska. Half of the book is describing fields and the other half is Jim talking about assorted stories about things that happened to his friends.

Not things that happened to him.

Not even things that he witnessed.

He’s just like “hey readers, lemme tell you about this one time the craziest thing happened to my friend Lena! Oh man it sure was crazy!”

And having stories constantly told from that viewpoint gets really boring really quickly

2020-06-09 14:58:11 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

## HOLD ON I JUST REALIZED

team-mom-wannabe:

> edettethegreat:

> > SO we all know Dumas likes to put some Shakespeare parodies in his books, right??

> > So Maximilien and Valentine are definitely supposed to be Romeo and Juliet with the whole “oh no she’s dead I’m gonna kill myself” and “oh no a Morrel can never be with a Villefort and vice versa” and “but wait! She isn’t actually dead! She just drank the thing that makes it LOOK like she’s dead!”

> > And Franz is probably supposed to be Paris then

> > And we all know that Caderousse’s wife is probably supposed to be Lady Macbeth with the whole “Don’t be a coward, you coward! Just murder the guy already!”

> > So I guess it’s not that far off to compare Benedetto to Edmund of Gloucester? I mean it works out well, with the whole “and I’m not really responsible for anything I do, it’s not my fault I was born lol sorry dad but maybe take better care of your illegitimate kids next time”

> > I think Dumas probably put a lot more parallels in there that I just didn’t notice?

> > Maybe Edouard is that kid from Coriolanus? Idk I never read Coriolanus.

> > Maybe Fernand is Macbeth?

> > Maybe Albert is Hamlet? ( “I’m gonna avenge my dad/ my dad’s honor! Yeah!” )

> > Maybe Heloise is both Goneril and Regan? ( “oh boy if only I’d get that neat inheritance money! Also I’m gonna poison people. And poison myself. )

> > Maybe Edmond is Macduff? ( “my family/ father was killed/ died because of you , and now I’m gonna return to my homeland and get some revenge.” )

> > Idk can anyone come up with more parallels? I’m sure there are more

> > I bet every character is a parody of some Shakespearean character

> Fernand reminds me of Othello. Sanguine and passionate military young man who gets pushed to heinous crimes by jealousy and obvious Iago parallel Danglars pushing on his insecurities (including the stereotype that Catalan men are jealous, quick to violence and prideful, and therefore he’s not really a man if he’s not willing to get revenge on Edmond - which does remind me of the way the racial theme in Othello is set up, with the tragedy of racism pushing him to the point he ends up “confirming the stereotype”)

I like this idea. Ok so here’s the list so far of who’s who-

Maximilien- Romeo

Valentine- Juliet

Franz- Paris (?)

Caderousse’s wife- Lady Macbeth

Benedetto- Edmund of Gloucester

Edouard- that one kid from Coriolanus (?)

Fernand- Othello

Danglars- Iago

Albert- Hamlet

Heloise- Goneril/Regan (?)

Edmond- Macduff

2020-06-09 15:03:22 ¶ ●

Hey TCOMC’s (non existent) fandom

What’s up?

I think we all forgot that Julie and Emmanuel exist

So this is just your friendly reminder that there is exactly one happy couple that wasn’t involved in any of the drama of the story because they were overall nice people who weren’t unfortunate enough to be related to any of the 3 main antagonists

2020-06-09 18:02:18 ¶ ●

## making a separate post of this so people can find it

All those cool Shakespeare parallels in TCOMC

Maximilien- Romeo

Valentine- Juliet

Franz- Paris (?)

Caderousse’s wife- Lady Macbeth

Benedetto- Edmund of Gloucester

Edouard- that one kid from Coriolanus (?)

Fernand- Othello

Danglars- Iago

Albert- Hamlet

Heloise- Goneril/Regan (?)

Edmond- Macduff

(Go check out my last post for the reasons why)

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THIS LIST- I’M SURE EVERY CHARACTER HAS A PRETTY DIRECT SHAKESPEARE PARALLEL

(Credit to @team-mom-wannabe for Fernand= othello and Danglars= iago)

2020-06-09 19:31:58 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

lillian-sunshine:

> hookedonafeeeling:

> > vansnailismylife:

> > > solarmorrigan:

> > > > So. 10th grade English class. We all come in one morning to find a balloon and a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort of thing. A couple of people try to ask her and she says we’ll get to it. She takes role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she’ll be back in a couple of minutes

> > > > Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So, y’know. Brief respite. We all sit and chat; one of the boys teasingly steals a girl’s balloon, but gives it back to her easily enough; it’s quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back, stops in the doorway, and just stares at us

> > > > After a long moment, she says, confused, “You didn’t pop the balloons.”

> > > > To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, “We’re allowed to pop them?” and immediately turns around and stabs his friend’s balloon with the pencil

> > > > There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop seatmates’ balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking her head. “I can’t believe you didn’t pop your balloons.”

> > > > Apparently we were starting Lord of the Flies that day and she wanted to demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment ever

> > > Back in my 10th grade we did a similar things around Lord of the Flies, where we had a test scheduled for that day, and when we walked in, the teacher took role by looking through the window of the door and never entered the classroom. On the board were three tasks written and the teacher had brought in donuts. At first we all sat around and waited for the teacher to come in, but eventually we just started tackling the list of tasks. Task 1- the test. Everybody took it silently, no one cheated, everyone turned it in and we went on to Task Two: tidy up the room. So we did, we split into a couple groups and each one cleaned an area of the room. Task Three: Hand out the donuts. There were 12 donuts, and 30 of us. So we split the donuts into thirds, each took a third, and left the extras for the teacher. After this, the teacher came in absolutely FUMING. She was so upset we had followed all the rules and completed the tasks. Apparently she had been texting kids telling them to start some chaos but they all ignored it because they were too nice. She tried to dock our grades for not going absolutely wild because it meant her class didn’t get the point across

> > That’s because lord of the flies isn’t representative of humanity it’s representative of rich white male shitheads

> Also you can’t recreate a breakdown of society in a 45 minute school period??? Like all these children knew that the teacher’s authority was still present even if the teacher was absent. When she got back if they were disobedient they all knew there would be consequences. A REAL Innovator would have just not showed up for class for 2 weeks

OK Lemme tell you about my (old) school’s LOTF’s introductory lesson:

Our 9th grade teacher, instead of trying to prove that we could become chaotic if we don’t have some form of authority, decided to prove that we wouldn’t be able to survive on a deserted island. So she divided us up into groups of 3 and handed us a sheet of questions on island survival. She said we could only use whatever items we brought to school with us to help us survive.

BUT THE THING IS the other class was a bit ahead of us, and one of my friends warned me about this project. So the night before I researched island survival, and brought all necessary things to school with me (flashlights with extra batteries, first aid kits,…). Another person in my group had a twin sister in the other class and also came prepared. So our group ended up having a very organized list of things we’d use to survive, plus all the survival questions answered correctly.

These results were not what our teacher was hoping for.

2020-06-09 21:27:46 ¶ ●

My history teacher for the past 10 minutes: MACBETH WAS RIGHT!!!!! MACBETH WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!

2020-06-09 22:14:01 ¶ ● ⬈

edettethegreat:

> I keep seeing memes about ATLA and so I decided to watch it. Here are some things in the first 4 episodes that I didn’t expect-

> 1- Aang (if that’s how you spell it) is actually really good at airbending? I thought he was gonna start out really bad at everything and have to learn how to do stuff

> 2- Zuko (that’s the fire dude right?) is the main antagonist at the moment- not something I expected from all the memes. Like I knew he was gonna be an antagonist at the beginning, just not the main one

> 3- water girl and her brother (both people with forgettable names) are wayyyyy more annoying than I thought they’d be. I’m sure they’ll become less annoying soon, but right now they’re both pretty annoying.

> And that’s it

Update: water girl and bro are no longer annoying.

Bro is cool now.

2020-06-10 14:52:58 ¶ ●

##

Merchant of Venice: Is it a comedy? What do you think? In my opinion, it leans more on the side of a tragedy.

Yup. The whole play is pretty anti-Semitic and racist, so that’s a bit of an issue. It’s pretty sad how the whole story is “hey I’m gonna borrow some money from this one guy, and for some reason agree to let him take a pound of my flesh if I can’t repay him— oh look, I can’t repay him. Huh. Wow he’s so evil for trying to take a pound of my flesh (after I’ve attacked him over his religion multiple times) - but it’s ok because my best friend’s wife will save me and make him lose all his possessions. Also force him to convert. Nice!”

I mean, if someone would repeatedly attack another person over their religion or race, would you really blame the person who was attacked for maybe wanting to stab the guy who won’t stop attacking them?

We know that there have been multiple incidents of Antonio physically and verbally attacking Shylock, and Antonio outright says he won’t stop. I was partially hoping that Shylock would get to do some stabbing, but nah. The audience at that time wouldn’t be ready for something like that. If he had stabbed him though, it would have been labeled at a tragedy. It would also significantly improve the play.

2020-06-10 14:55:22 ¶ ●

##

Also, Bassanio is an idiot, who asked him to go to that one moneylender in town who hates Antonio from his core of his heart? What do you think?

I agree completely- Bassanio’s an idiot. But he must be a very likable idiot if Antonio’s willing to go to Shylock for him and Portia actually wants to marry him.

2020-06-10 15:33:07 ¶ ●

##

Jessica is sorta dumb. What is your opinion of her character?

Yeah I didn’t really think her side plot was so great. I don’t really have much of an opinion on her because she’s not a main character and doesn’t have a strong personality

2020-06-10 18:16:19 ¶ ●

Welp turns out I’m head of yearbook, so my grade better be nice to me or I’ll misspell all their names

2020-06-10 19:20:58 ¶ ●

Teacher 1: I am shocked by the way all the students reacted to the job list. I was truly disappointed. I couldn’t sleep last night because I was thinking about how horrible your reaction was.
Teacher 2: oh, well I slept perfectly fine last night. I guess I’m not as sensitive as you.
the whole class: oof.

2020-06-11 0:54:16 ¶ ●

## and now... the moment you were waiting for.... THE ELEGY OF LOLO

(For context- Lolo is the character our spanish book uses whenever it wants to give an example of someone doing something stupid)

Roses are red

I’m sorry to say

Our dear friend Lolo

Has now passed away

.

He’s no longer here

He drowned in the lake

While fetching his dog

Who jumped in by mistake

.

It seems he forgot

That his dog could swim

But he never learned

So his fate was grim

.

He begged to be saved

Tried to shout and yelp

Since he was so stupid

No one came to help

.

And that’s why we’re here

On this tragic day

To remember dear Lolo

Who now passed away

.

Lolo had good traits

He knew right from wrong

And most of the lyrics

To the ABC song

.

He was a nice fellow

Though not very bright

(Words with more than 2 syllables

Gave him quite a fright)

.

He was the sort of guy

Who’d pull doors that say push

His IQ was twelve

His brain was complete mush

.

He’d paint roses red

And blueberries blue

Lolo, oh Lolo

We truly miss you.

2020-06-11 3:40:48 ¶ ● ⬈

gayvillefort:

> *opens my mouth* *taps the mic with my teeth* *clears throat* “revenge is bad” is absolutely not a theme in the count of monte cristo (1844)

The theme is “don’t frame Edmond Dantes for treason. If ya do, there’s a 50% chance you’ll die, a 25% chance that (almost) your whole family will die, and a 25% chance you’ll go bankrupt”

2020-06-11 4:12:24 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

gayvillefort:

> edettethegreat:

> > gayvillefort:

> > > *opens my mouth* *taps the mic with my teeth* *clears throat* “revenge is bad” is absolutely not a theme in the count of monte cristo (1844)

> > The theme is “don’t frame Edmond Dantes for treason. If ya do, there’s a 50% chance you’ll die, a 25% chance that (almost) your whole family will die, and a 25% chance you’ll go bankrupt”

> to be honest i thought the theme was “italians are intrinsically evil regardless of if they are italian by birth or circumstance”

Alternatively it can also be “an unstable and corrupt government can ruin some innocent citizens’ lives”

Also “french people are overly dramatic all the time for no reason”

(Honestly it feels like the french characters and Italian/”italian” characters are having some sort of unspoken competition on who could be more dramatic)

2020-06-11 5:28:13 ¶ ●

## something that just happened on a chat

L: I’m actually dying it feels so good to laugh
E: This is what happens when I enter a chat. People die.

2020-06-11 21:05:57 ¶ ●

## TCOMC crime point thing part 5!

-Sinbad the sailor (aka our dear friend Edmond Dantes) gets a plus 3 for doing drugs and a plus 2 for sharing the drugs with a child (yeah I know Franz is probably in his 20s but I don’t care)

-Franz gets a minus 3 for being like “oh you wanna go by a stupid alias? Well then I’m gonna go by an even stupider alias”. But he gets a plus 3 for doing drugs. BUT he gets a minus 3 for figuring Edmond out in like 2 seconds (”yeah you just look like the type of man who was wronged and is back for revenge now.”)

-Albert is here now! That’s fantastic! He gets a minus 10 for existing because he’s fantastic.

-Luigi Vampa gets a plus 40 for doing SO MUCH crime. All the time. He just never stops doing crime.

Totals-

Luigi Vampa (+crew)- 40

Gerard de Villefort- 39

Edmond Dantes/count of Monte Cristo- 31

Baron Danglars- 21

Fernand Mondego/de Morcerf- 21

Noirtier de Villefort- 5

Gaspard Caderousse- 2

Abbe Faria- 1

—————

Franz d’Epinay- -3

Pierre Morrel- -4

Mercedes de Morcerf- -4

Albert de Morcerf- -10

2020-06-11 23:43:21 ¶ ●

## TCOMC crime point thing part 6!

-Mr Monte Cristo gets a plus 5 for forcing two innocent children to watch an execution (yes I know both Albert and Franz are in their 20s). He gets another plus 5 for pulling strings to get a criminal who should have been executed not executed.

-Luigi Vampa gets a plus 10 for kidnapping Albert. That was pretty rude of him.

-Albert gets a minus 10 for taking a nap after he’s kidnapped, because that’s the biggest power move ever. He literally doesn’t care that they’re gonna murder him. He also gets a minus 5 for “and he lit his cigar on Vampa’s torch.”

Totals-

Luigi Vampa (+crew)- 50

Edmond Dantes/ Count of Monte Cristo- 41

Gerard de Villefort- 39

Baron Danglars- 21

Fernand Mondego/de Morcerf- 21

Noirtier de Villefort- 5

Gaspard Caderousse- 2

Abbe Faria- 1

—————

Franz d’Epinay- -3

Pierre Morrel- -4

Mercedes de Morcerf- -4

Albert de Morcerf- -25