I remember doing a skit in English Class (I wrote the script), where Julius Caesar and team go to the Taj Mahal😂😂😂. We put Cassius's wife, Junia, who we only knew about from the notes and who never appears in the play either. Cassius: I shouldn't have brought you along, women— Junia: Yes, my dear? Cassius: *gulping* Make EXCELLENT companions I played Cassius. We basically had him be scared of his wife as a repayment for dissing women throughout the play. I shall see thee at Philippi.
Nice! I like that! Cassius is definitely the type to be secretly terrified of his wife
Once upon a time there was a child. This child was a young child. The child went to the park one day and saw a toucan. The toucan spoke to the child saying "my child." Confused, the child responded, "yes Mr. Toucan?" The toucan simply smiled and said, "awooga awooga *jaw drops to floor* *whistling* Now thats a dame!" The child, then, commited arson.
I have no idea what’s happening here, but for some reason I relate to that child
Once upon a time there was a child. This child was a young child. The child went to the park one day and saw a toucan. The toucan spoke to the child saying "my child." Confused, the child responded, "yes Mr. Toucan?" The toucan simply smiled and said, "awooga awooga *jaw drops to floor* *whistling* Now thats a dame!" The child, then, commited arson.
If someone would have told me a year ago that the chapter title “How to rescue a gardener from dormice who are eating his peaches” is not from Percy Jackson, but rather from an 1800s revenge novel, I don’t think I’d believe them.
-Lucien, Beauchamp, and Chateau-Renaud get minus 2 each for being super hilarious and entertaining. They’re the best. But Chateau-Renaud gets a plus 3 for that one time he broke Franz’s arm. (I bet you forgot about that.)
-MAXIMILIEN HAS ARRIVED! Minus 10. No explanation needed.
-Monte Cristo gets a plus 3 for stressing Mercedes. How dare he. Also plus 1 for stressing Bertuccio. He really likes stressing people.
-LONG BACKSTORY TIME! And this backstory involves a lot of crime and some murder. So get ready for everyone to get a whole lot of points
Villefort gets a plus 6 for ignoring Bertuccio when his brother was killed
Bertuccio gets a plus 11 for trying to kill Villefort (wait. Is this the first murder/attempted murder mentioned in the book? Because I think this is the first time I actually used the original point system to figure out how many points to give?)
Villefort gets a plus 13 for attempted infanticide.
Bertuccio gets a plus 3 for being a smuggler
Assunta gets a minus 4 for trying her best to raise Benedetto
Benedetto gets a plus 15 for all the crimes he went around doing for fun when he was a literal child (he was literally robbing people when he was 5-6 years old?? Woah.)
Benedetto gets a plus 11 for killing Assunta (what the heck, child? Why- ugh I know it was by accident, but still.)
Caderousse gets a plus 13 for killing his wife, and plus 1 for fleeing the crime scene
Hello! Ya want asks, so here’s an ask. Why did the chicken cross the road? Why is the sky blue? What’s the meaning of life? What does the fox say? What color is the White House? What’s your social security number? Why do bad things happen to good people? And lastly, what’s your favorite color?
Mmmm, thank you. The chicken probably crossed the road, not to get to the other side, but to go find it’s lost chick that had traveled too far from the safety of its mothers wings. The sky is blue, at least to me, because any other color would be too harsh on our eyes and wouldn’t make sense. The meaning of life is to be the best version of yourself, no matter how challenging it is. The fox says yapapapapapapow. My social security number is [REDACTED]. The White House is, colorless. Bad things happen to good people because their guardian angel is having a tough day. And my favorite color is blue. Thank you, these questions were really nice to answer.
The one and only good thing about TCOMC having such a small fandom is that there are no ships that don’t make sense. All the ships that I’ve seen here are either canon, or the characters in the ship actually make sense to be together.
For example, people ship Eugenie and Louise (a very canon ship), and people ship Lucien with Beauchamp (not canon but I can understand why they’d be shipped), but NO ONE is like “huh yeah know I ship Caderousse and Mercedes hehe” (and by the way it took a while to come up with a ship that bad).
Ok hi I wanna take a poll of my followers, who are probably mostly following me for Shakespeare content but keep getting TCOMC content instead-
Have you
A) Read TCOMC and followed me for it
B) never read TCOMC and you’re like “but wait where’s the Shakespeare content???”
C) read TCOMC and absolutely hated it- you think it’s the worst book ever
D) never read TCOMC but you’re sorta intrigued by it at this point after everything I’ve posted
If ya fall into the last category I’m gonna tell you what it’s about because I definitely want to recommend it to you and I don’t think you’ve gotten the right idea about what it’s about from my posts. So here’s a quick summary:
There’s this dude named Edmond. Not to be confused with Edmund, the guy from King Lear. Edmond is a sailor and living a pretty great life, but these other guys are jealous of his success and frame him for some treason. And although it’s pretty obvious he’s innocent, a pretty corrupt government official who would benefit from getting rid of Edmond gets assigned to the case and Edmond ends up in prison. BUT WAIT. He escapes from prison! And years later he’s back for revenge!
The story also includes a lady who likes poisoning people, lesbians, blackmail, doing drugs in a cave, a Romeo and Juliet style love story, a really cool grandpa, affairs, an awesome trio of friends, stabbing legal officers who aren’t doing their jobs properly, and a cool criminal power couple.
-Hermine gets 3 points for cheating on her husband with Lucien. Lucien gets plus 2.
-Danglars gets plus 1 for lying about how much money he got for Hermine’s horses. The Count gets plus 1 for causing drama.
-The Count gets a plus 5 for endangering Heloise and Edouard. He also gets a plus 4 for the whole “oh yeah this poison sure is toxic. It sure can kill people. Do you by any chance want some for no particular reason?” thing.
- OH WAIT I skipped something! The count also gets a plus 5 for assorted racist things (ya know, the whole thing he said to Franz about Ali in the drug cave thing)
- Count gets a plus 1 for causing some more drama with Villefort, but a minus 1 for the line “But I think you said I have nothing to do. Now, Monsieur, I ask you, do you imagine you have anything to do? Or, to put it more clearly, do you believe that what you do deserves to be called something”.
- Count gets minus 2 for adopting Haydee. Yeah I know it’s just part of him big revenge scheme, but he had no obligation to be as nice to her as he was.
How would you rank the Shakespeare plays that you have read?
I’m gonna go in the order I read them-
The Tempest: 5/10. Not so into the storyline. There where some good parts but not enough of them for me to rank it higher than that
The Merchant of Venice: 6/10. Also good but the antisemitism kinda ruined it for me (I know other plays are also racist and discriminatory but the racism is either a) clearly a bad thing- you’re not supposed to root for the racist character, or b) a passing comment made by a side character that’s pretty much never brought up again.)
Macbeth: 7/10 Very good story, not funny enough. You maybe be wondering “but edette, it’s a tragedy! It’s not supposed to be funny!” To which I will respond with “oh yeah? Then what’s Hamlet doing here, being hilarious, with jokes on every other line until the last few pages where everyone dies?”
Julius Caesar: 7.5/10. Mark Antony’s parts are fantastic. He’s all like “oh yeah I’m totally on your side- I totally support you killing MY BEST FRIEND, THIS NOBLE ROMAN WHO DIDN’T DESERVE TO DIE, HOW DARE ANYONE KILL HIM” and everyone’s like “hey Antony? You still with us?” And he’s like “Oh yeah totally, what makes you think I’m not?”
King Lear: 8/10. It’s so good. Edmund’s plan isn’t even good, but it works so incredibly perfectly because everyone is very stupid.
Hamlet: 9/10 It’s hilarious. I don’t care what you say about it being deep and meaningful. Yeah it has some soliloquies, but most of it is just a huge pile of jokes. Literally the funniest thing I’ve ever read. The only people who think Hamlet isn’t hilarious are the people who’ve watched some film version of it before reading the play.
I know I haven’t read that many Shakespeare plays yet, but my local bookstore is reopening tomorrow, so I’m gonna go and see if I could find a copy of Othello and Twelfth Night
Also I just noticed that the ratings go in order of worst to best- that was unintentional but also kinda interesting
Book Caderousse: In his 20s at the beginning, and in his 40s or 50s (also dead) at the end. He’s probably drunk like 90% of the time.
Movie Caderousse: A very stupid old man.
Book Edmond: He starts out young and naive, but post chateau d’if he’s driven to revenge and sees the world in a much darker way.
Movie Edmond: REVENGE! IS! THE! ONLY! THING! THAT! MATTERS!
Book Eugenie: A smart, independent girl who pretty much every guy is intimidated by. In a stable and happy relationship with her girlfriend.
Movie Eugenie: Valentine, for some reason.
Book Albert: Passionate, loves his family, a bit too impulsive at times but it pretty chill with getting kidnapped by criminals.
Movie Albert: literally just a stupid and naive child.
Book Mercedes: A pretty good and well written character.
Movie Mercedes: love interest #1 for Dantes.
Book Maximilien: Cool soldier dude, also has normal human emotions (which you don’t see in all that many male characters tbh)
Movie Maximilien: Albert, for some reason.
Book Valentine: REALLY cares about her grandfather, also cares about Maximilien.
Movie Valentine: REALLY cares about Albert, who she’s dating for some reason? Also maybe cares about her grandfather?
Book Benedetto: ya know Edmund from King Lear? Ok, well he’s been reincarnated in 1817 for some reason. This is him. (For those of you who want a better description: nearly everyone who meets him trusts his for some reason even though they shouldn’t, he’s repeatedly described as a good looking dude, he lies and deceives people for the sake of getting money, and is a bastard in every regard.)
Movie Benedetto: standard stereotypical scam artist.
Book Villefort: A morally grey dude who has really poor judgement (which is ironic considering his career). He just won’t stop making horrible decisions. He literally won’t stop. And he thinks “hey, I’m not that bad..” but he is.
Movie Villefort: PURE EVIL. IS EVIL JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT.
Book Noirtier: ultimate badass.
Movie Noirtier: crippled old guy.
Book Danglars: relatively young at the start, pretty clever dude.
Movie Danglars: much older than everyone else, also has no personality whatsoever.
Book Fernand: not the brightest. Also not a good person. But he cares about his family at least (and is the only one of the 3.5 main antagonists to care about his family).
Movie Fernand: EVIL. HATES HIS FAMILY.
Book Faria: wise old man
Movie Faria: also wise old man. The movies don’t mess up Faria that much.
Book Any character that doesn’t appear in movies (Franz, Beauchamp…): has a cool backstory and a unique personality.
Movie Any character that doesn’t appear in movies: non- existent.
Which movie adaptation or adaptations did you use for comparision?
All of them that I could find- including the really strange anime one that takes place in space and in the future for some reason and turns Edmond into a demon or something
-All of the currently alive members of the Morrel (and Herbault) family get a minus 10 for being very wholesome. Valentine gets minus 7 because she’s also one of the few characters who doesn’t commit crime and all she wants to do is take care of her grandfather and marry Maximilien.
-Heloise is back and learning all about how to poison people! You’d think I’d give her some points for that, but nope- she’s gonna get 2 points for not raising Edouard a normal way. He has a bit too much of an attitude And it’s honestly not his fault- it’s clear that Heloise lets him do whatever he wants whenever he wants to, plus they’re relatively rich; now we’ve got a spoiled child to deal with. Also of course the Count gets a plus 10 for teaching her about poison and giving her a very convenient recipe for poison.
-Eugenie gets minus 5 for being cool. The Count gets a plus 1 for stressing Haydee. He just won’t stop stressing people.
-Major Cavalcanti gets a plus 5 for being a scam artist. Andrea gets a plus 3 for being a cool (and actually competent) scam artist. Count gets a plus 8 for hiring them.
When everyone in the world shares tumblr posts with each other and constantly quote and reference the really famous ones, yet having tumblr is possibly one of the worst social media platforms to admit you have.
Would you rather be stuck on a deserted island with Antony or Horatio? Give reasons. (10 marks)
Horatio- because he’s a very logical guy who either would get us off the island, or at least wouldn’t let any drama or arguments happen while we were there because he doesn’t seem to like drama and arguments
Antony, however, might start drama and possibly not be very helpful for getting off the island
Imagine...you have been granted access to the play of Hamlet. You are however, allowed to save only one from the last scene. Who do you choose and why? [10 marks]
Ok lets go through the characters who die and who should be saved-
Hamlet- Look he’s been waiting to die this whole time. He’s not all that upset about it. And would I really wanna be like “hey you’re alive now, also Fortunbras (idk how to spell that and the play isn’t here with me) is here so you’ll have to deal with him maybe taking over your kingdom haha” I’ll give him a 6/10 points for how revivable he is.
Claudius- 0/10 points. The whole point of the play was to watch him die
Gertrude- She didn’t have to die, but then again, she didn’t have to marry her brother-in-law, so ehhh. I’ll give her a 4/10
Laertes- I kinda feel bad for him, because yes, Hamlet killed his father, and he should have the same rights of revenge as Hamlet had. So although I don’t really like him, I think he should be the one who gets to revive. 9/10 revive points.
I have an idea. We don't really get to see what happens after Antonio and all go to dinner. I wonder if SHYLOCK had a trick up his sleeve, which he used to get revenge and the last laugh. Thoughts? [10 marks]
I’m sure you wanted a cooler answer than this, but no- Shylock is all out of tricks.
Okay, so I went searching for Merchant of Venice Fanfiction—, I found a Shylock X Antonio. I wheezed— (Tbh, I ain't surprised—)
I have no idea why anyone would ship them, but whatever. People seem to really like shipping the protagonist with the antagonist. But Antonio and Shylock just doesn’t work? I genuinely don’t get why anyone in the world would want to ship them.
-Maximilien and Valentine are very cute. Minus 10 each. Noirtier gets minus 20 for being one of the few characters who is both smart and a morally good person who cares about his granddaughter and doesn’t want her to marry a guy she doesn’t wanna marry.
-Count gets a plus 1, because that’s what he gets whenever he stresses someone out. In this case, it’s for the part where he invites Villefort to his brand new house that Villefort totally didn’t have an affair in 20 years ago. He also gets a plus 5 for messing with telegraphs.
-WAIT. He’s not done stressing people out. Plus 3 for stressing Bertuccio (even though the dinner party scene was pretty great), plus 2 for stressing both Villefort and Hermine with his totally fictional and in no way real story of a dead baby.
-Welp look who decided to show up now. It’s Caderousse. He gets a plus 5 for blackmail.
-wow the Count is starting the Mondego drama now. Plus 5 for starting drama. Minus 1 for pretending to be two different people giving reports on “the count of monte cristo” to Villefort, because yeah I guess that’s technically a crime, but it’s too funny to be counted as one.
-Wow a double murder! That means Heloise gets 26 points! And Dr. d’Avrigny gets a minus 5 for having common sense.
-I don’t remember if I’ve already given Noirtier points for killing Franz’s father, but I’m gonna give him another 10 points just in case. BUT he also gets a minus 5 for getting Valentine out of an arranged marriage she didn’t want to be in.
-Albert gets a plus 1 for each person (other than the Count) that he challenges to a duel over the whole Janina drama. So that would be a plus 3.
-More murder is happening in the Villefort household! Heloise gets 11 points for trying to kill Noirtier and another 5 for actually killing Barrois.
Ok so there’s this group of people who play this sport called exy. I have no idea what sport it’s supposed to be but I picture it as a combination of all other sports. The overall plot is that they play that sport and there’s a whole lot of drama happening between the members of the main team and maybe members of other teams. Also there’s something about someone either joining the mafia or getting kidnapped bu the mafia? Maybe? That might be a different book though?
Stuff about characters- ok so there’s Neil- I have no idea who he is but for some reason the fandom’s obsessed with him
The fandom is also obsessed with Andrew and maybe Kevin? Is there even a character named Kevin? I’m not sure. There might also be a character called Nicky.
Also there’s Renee and she’s probably the Hufflepuff of the team (idk how else to describe the overall personality I picture her as having)
Also there’s Allison and I don’t like her she seems obnoxious
Also I think there’s a dude called Aaron who might be a twin with someone. Or maybe Kevin’s a twin? If Kevin exists, that is. Or maybe they’re twins with each other? But I don’t think Aaron and Kevin sound good together (all the twins I know irl have names that sound better together than Aaron and Kevin. They better not be twins.)
I’m really doubting Kevin’s existence at this point. I think he doesn’t exist.
Also I think one (or more) of the dudes is a pretty aggressive person with maybe a few anger management issues.
Also people die I think. Or maybe they don’t. No actually I doubt that they don’t- it’s not the type of book where people wouldn’t die. So yeah, at least 5 people die.
Hmm I think that’s it but if I think of more stuff I’ll make a part 2 of this post
Also please tell me if Kevin exists.
@major-general-blue I’ll accept the payment of your soul, btw. It legally belongs to me now
Ok so there’s this group of people who play this sport called exy. I have no idea what sport it’s supposed to be but I picture it as a combination of all other sports. The overall plot is that they play that sport and there’s a whole lot of drama happening between the members of the main team and maybe members of other teams. Also there’s something about someone either joining the mafia or getting kidnapped bu the mafia? Maybe? That might be a different book though?
Stuff about characters- ok so there’s Neil- I have no idea who he is but for some reason the fandom’s obsessed with him
The fandom is also obsessed with Andrew and maybe Kevin? Is there even a character named Kevin? I’m not sure. There might also be a character called Nicky.
Also there’s Renee and she’s probably the Hufflepuff of the team (idk how else to describe the overall personality I picture her as having)
Also there’s Allison and I don’t like her she seems obnoxious
Also I think there’s a dude called Aaron who might be a twin with someone. Or maybe Kevin’s a twin? If Kevin exists, that is. Or maybe they’re twins with each other? But I don’t think Aaron and Kevin sound good together (all the twins I know irl have names that sound better together than Aaron and Kevin. They better not be twins.)
I’m really doubting Kevin’s existence at this point. I think he doesn’t exist.
Also I think one (or more) of the dudes is a pretty aggressive person with maybe a few anger management issues.
Also people die I think. Or maybe they don’t. No actually I doubt that they don’t- it’s not the type of book where people wouldn’t die. So yeah, at least 5 people die.
Also it has some cool gay couples, which I think are actually canon, so that’s pretty cool.
Hmm I think that’s it but if I think of more stuff I’ll make a part 2 of this post
Also please tell me if Kevin exists.
@major-general-blue I’ll accept the payment of your soul, btw. It legally belongs to me now
does kevin day exist?
an interesting question, but a quite more tricky answer. kevin’s superior omnipotence transcends mere existence itself. he needs no plane of reality. no validation of the physical sort. the human senses are primitive tools compared to the all consuming prowess of the kevin day.
so no. instead, kevin day IS. kevin day BE. kevin day DO. kevin day is existence itself. why question the tracks of individual feeble ants that leave no trace of their temporary journey, when one can embrace the forest as a whole? an endless oasis of possibility?
anyway stan kevin day
I just wanna say that until I did a quick google search just now, I didn’t realize that Kevin’s last name is Day, and I read that last line as “ Stan Kevin day”- as in there is an entire day dedicated to stanning Kevin.
Anyway due to my stupidity, today, June 22nd, is officially “Stan Kevin” day.
-that one episode when the fire nation captures Aang and Zuko goes to save him so that he himself can capture him
-that one episode where Aang goes to the fire nation school
-the face eater scene (the face eater’s all like *jumpscare!* and aang’s all like :// )
-that one episode where Azula+friends go to that one guy’s party
-when that one idiot was like “haha Aang I’m gonna make it look like I killed Katara so you go into the avatar state!” And then Aang goes into the avatar state and almost kills everyone, and that one idiot is like *surprised pikachu meme*
-All of sokka’s scenes in the 3rd season
-all of iroh’s scenes in every season
-the fact that at the beginning Zuko was this scary powerful fire nation dude who’s ok with doing some murder, but also for some reason puts up with his weird uncle and doesn’t really get mad at him
- That scene where Zuko stood up to his father and was like “so yeah I hate you and I’m gonna go join the avatar”
I’m reading Romeo and Juliet for the first time after watching ATLA, and let me tell you my one and only observation at the moment- Tybalt sounds exactly like season 1 Zuko.
No joke, he’s there at a chill party and he sees Romeo, and he’s like “Uncle. I must fight him. He’ll bring shame to our family if I don’t”
And Capulet’s like “ok, how about we don’t fight people right now. He’s not bothering anyone. Just enjoy the party.”
