August 2025

absolutely tragic typo on the job description, but yeah I’d love to live in a world where an entry level position pays 35k per month

rip magnus archives crew but I’m built different. if my boss was literally all-knowing and couldn’t fire me, I’d be in his office all day asking him questions about everything. I wouldn’t use google anymore. I’d be like “what’s the rarest kind of tree frog” and he’d be like “shut up please shut up” but he’d tell me the answer every time.

and then I’d go home and immediately call him and be like “hey elias I forgot what time I put the burekas in the oven, how much longer should I leave them in”

and he’d be like “I hate you so much. you put them in 12:42. they should come out at 1:12”

whenever I listen to the Magnus Archives I have to stop and have a giggle fit about Jurgen Leitner because, see, if he had made his collection a reference library, wherein cultists could pop in, use the books for their horrible ends, and then just left them there, his collection would never have been scattered! His problems would be wholly different! He’d be known as an evil librarian, not an evil author!

and also if my wife had to teach unknown horrors how to be human she’d do such a good job. I made her listen to that episode and she started talking about the mechanics of breathing and how to change tempo based on conveyed emotions (I love her so fucking much)

your wife sounds so cool–

that episode is great, those Unknown Horror Creatures aren’t even that threatening, they’re just trying their best to be human :(

I just want you to know that your post about using Elias like an eldritch search engine constantly has possessed my mind. i've been laughing about it for like literally 6 straight hours. thank you so much for sharing that thought, it has genuinely brightened my day <333

Hi!!!

I’m glad you enjoy my post!

I posted it at 8am right before I left for work, to indulge in the fantasy of being unfireable. I was very VERY surprised to get home from work and see that 99+ notifications icon.

my primary fandom is King Lear (yknow. the shakespeare play) which has 20 people max in it. 99+ is not a comprehensible number on my side of tumblr.

I’m honored to be welcomed into this fandom so thoroughly (I admit it’s a bit intimidating though)

thanks for finding my New Usages Of Elias entertaining and amusing :)

“OP is–” OP is reading this right now. OP is fascinated by your take on them.

kitschyfemme:

when they got “character who made an undeniably terrible decision but man i dont know what i would have done either” at the function

ghostpoetics:

POV: Haunted by the blond man

@hamletkin Hamlet Hair Color Saga

The Magnus Institute faces a discrimination lawsuit over not hiring blind people

the four media sources I’ve been posting recently

I’m almost done with tma now, if anyone wants to do me a massive favor and list what accounts post cool tma art I would greatly appreciate it :)

ok I just finished the magnus archives

im emotionally torn apart and I think I’m going to have to start it all over from the beginning just to appreciate all the foreshadowing and set-ups that were ultimately paid off

now that Im done with TMA and the shock of the final episode wore off–

what do you MEAN there was a character who would actively snoop through Elias’s stuff and just. didn’t do anything about it.

rip rosie– not because I’m built different, but because I’d actualize that statement if I’d ever see her

Elias Bouchard’s Observations of the Archivist’s Progress

day 23

I told the Archivist to get a follow-up statement from Sharon Menon. He began asking questions like “Who’s Sharon Menon?” and “How do I contact her?”

We have a long way to go, but these are hurdles we will overcome.

day 157

I sent the Archivist to buy more stationary from Monde du Papier, a store he’s never heard of in a neighborhood he’s never been to.

He managed to navigate there successfully, but paused frequently as if unsure of himself.

day 202

At the start of our quarterly meeting, I asked in Swedish for the Archivist to retrieve my Montblanc pen from my office. I intentionally left it in the bottom drawer rather than in the cup on the desk.

The Archivist returned in four minute with the pen.

postscript: Upon his return, Mr. Blackwood asked him what language I spoke in, to which he appeared confused.

For someone who has made such progress in Knowing, he seems to remain rather unaware.

Jon comes out of his office and someone says “wow you look awful”

and Jon makes the tragic mistake of saying “Oh.. do I?”

as someone who listened to tma on youtube and ALWAYS read the description first for who’s statement was being read, I honestly felt like I was robbed of The Big Moment

because when I got up to 160 and jon started reading a statement, the only thought in my mind was “Now wait a second. the description didn’t say anything about this lady and her fire issues.”

some
[14] elder than this, who yet is no dearer to my
account
[16], though this knave came something saucily to the
world before he was sent for: yet was his mother fair, there
was good sport at his making and the whoreson
[17] must
be acknowledged.— Do you know this noble gentleman,
Edmund?
[Staging Note 3)

sorry for the fragmented copy-pasting edette but "dearer to my account" playing on more expensive to my Purse! edmund and edgar my Shaylas, I am so sorry! this is the excellent foppery of the world... indeed

gloucester brothers my beloved <3 :(

honestly they should unionize for having to put up with that guy

follwoing up on my last ask, do you raveananalyse all of Act 1 Scene 1, not just the edmund parts(tm), but of course the edmund parts must be included

I haven’t personally analyzed the entirety of 1.1, but I would absolutely wanna read a full analysis of it 👀

this was funnier in my head

me when tma introduced the concept of rituals: oh so I guess the rest of the series is gonna be jon bringing various coworkers to stop each ritual

[narrator voice]: she could not be more wrong. she couldn’t possibly be any further from the actual direction this is going in. this girl thought she was on the right track. which she is, except the train is speeding in the wrong direction.

this has been on my mind for a while now but. not sure how to phrase it in a normal way

anyway. genuinely so proud of the tma fandom for being a fan of a media source with no canonical character description -> common motif is eyes and eye-related powers -> and not following that train of thought to give everyone heterochromia

someone out there is gonna take this the wrong way and assume I’m saying it’s problematic or something,, which I don’t believe it is–

but whenever a physical trait that real normal people have is Very Very Frequently associated with having Some Significant Meaning in fiction. dunno how to phrase this past this point other than ‘it’s kinda icky’

edettethegreat:

this has been on my mind for a while now but. not sure how to phrase it in a normal way

anyway. genuinely so proud of the tma fandom for being a fan of a media source with no canonical character description -> common motif is eyes and eye-related powers -> and not following that train of thought to give everyone heterochromia

someone out there is gonna take this the wrong way and assume I’m saying it’s problematic or something,, which I don’t believe it is–

but whenever a physical trait that real normal people have is Very Very Frequently associated with having Some Significant Meaning in fiction. dunno how to phrase this past this point other than ‘it’s kinda icky’

was actually able to articulate my thoughts in the tags so. it’s self-promo time out here 👍

tim: I feel like I’m being watched

elias: ehehehe I have nooo idea what you mean!! that’s so weird who could possibly be watching you?? eye would never 🤭

jonathan sims, though the walls of his office: SUPPLEMENTAL: tim had 12 eggs for breakfast. that’s too many eggs. I don’t think he’s human.

elias:

tim:

elias: OH you meant– yeah jonathan’s definitely stalking you. you should probably confront him about that.

love how everyone draws the archives squad with glasses because it implies elias is playing the dangerous game of hiring a bunch of people who already have impaired vision

he makes them all get monthly eye exams to make sure their vision isn’t getting any worse

he probably enjoys the thrill of having another risk factor involved in his schemes

“average archivist get 5 assistants killed” factoid is actually a statistical error. Web Emma, who loves messing with people and gets 100 assistants killed, is an outlier adn should not be counted

also she’s not an archivist.

edettethegreat:

anyway just finished season 4 of tma,, what if this became a tma account. what then.

apparently this was both a threat and a promise <3

I desperately need to know what sasha’s Thing was. why did she join the magnus institute.

she’s the only main character who we never get any background insight on.

what was her Trauma. what’s her home life like– the fact that she worked there implies no one would notice if she went missing.

did anyone outside the institute come to her funeral. did she even get to have a funeral.

did anyone cry for her death.

ok just a quick check-in with the tma fandom–

the eye is objectively the best and coolest entity (I was pretty sure that was the whole point– the narrative intentionally portrays it as the coolest one because that’s where all the main cast is at)

but. I come here and see a lot of people being really invested in other entities (the stranger and the web are understandable, but the end?? the buried?? what’s the appeal?)

so I’m genuinely asking anyone whose Entity Of Choice isn’t the eye– what’s so cool about these other ones that draws you to them?

poll for the masses who won’t comment

obviously the eye is the best (other entities have little to no appeal)

eye is the best but other entities are almost equally cool

some other entity is cooler or more appealing

some other entity’s cooler AND the eye doesn’t appeal to you at all

See Results

edettethegreat:

ok just a quick check-in with the tma fandom–

the eye is objectively the best and coolest entity (I was pretty sure that was the whole point– the narrative intentionally portrays it as the coolest one because that’s where all the main cast is at)

but. I come here and see a lot of people being really invested in other entities (the stranger and the web are understandable, but the end?? the buried?? what’s the appeal?)

so I’m genuinely asking anyone whose Entity Of Choice isn’t the eye– what’s so cool about these other ones that draws you to them?

poll for the masses who won’t comment

obviously the eye is the best (other entities have little to no appeal)

eye is the best but other entities are almost equally cool

some other entity is cooler or more appealing

some other entity’s cooler AND the eye doesn’t appeal to you at all

See Results

honestly you’re so right (re: the eye being the central focus not because it’s the coolest, but rather because it’s a good vehicle for storytelling), and I think that’s a major reason why I enjoyed tma so much

the vast majority of the time, I’m a massive protagonist hater. I absolutely despise ‘the chosen one’ as a trope, and if I get even the slightest sense that the protagonist is that world’s 'specialest little boy’ I lose interest completely

In most sci-fi fantasy stories, whatever supernatural thing is tied to the protagonist will also just so happen to be the Best and Most Powerful one.

TMA does play around with both of those things– with Jon being a 'chosen one’ (not from birth, but rather because Some Guy chose him out of sheer convenience), and he’s the 'specialest little boy’ (most other characters hate him, but at least the giant eye in the sky thinks he’s neat 👍)

I can probably count on one hand the number of times a media source had a protagonist with some sort of supernatural skill that appealed to me personally, so when I got a whole entire 200 episode podcast where the protagonist had a skill (asking people questions <3) that makes me absolutely lose my mind every time he does it, I was like “wow whoever wrote this really tapped into the universal desire to Know Things and Gather Information. if only more people in the sci-fi fantasy genre could be more like this guy”

it hadn’t crossed my mind that that’s not the most universally appealing thing until I started seeing people being drawn to other entities

anyway tldr magnus archives appealed to me so hard that I thought I had unfortunitely become a Chosen One Specialest Little Boy enjoyer, but I am deeply relieved to find out that that was not the intention of the author and Whatever I’ve got going on here is more aligned with the power fantasy of being the World’s Best (worst?) Interviewer

the magnus archives is a podcast. about doors.