TCOMC characters as things my friends have said so often it’s basically their catchphrase

Evereyone, about Hermine: wow, Ben’s cheating on Mikaela again.

Chateau-Renaud: GUYS. ALASKA RHYMES WITH NEBRASKA.

Any of the antagonists: As everyone knows, I’m secretly the world’s most evil criminal

Franz after the drug cave incident: It was all a dream? Nah, it was all a hallucination.

Caderousse: *chanting* SALT! IT’S SALT! AND HERE’S WHAT NO ONE KNOW! WE’LL USE THE SALT TO DO ASSAULT AND POUR IT UP YOUR NOSE!

Benedetto at his trial: It’s me, your local non-existent ghost.

Albert: Ok so I was kidnapped like maybe… 12 times today?

Also Albert: Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a complete idiot

Eugenie, while chopping off her hair to disguise herself as a boy: You just don’t know the absolute STRUGGLE of curly hair. You just. Don’t. Know.

(I had SO MANY MORE, but I had to delete them because I had no idea which character they would fit with. It was truly tragic. It was very sad. Alexa, play despacito.)