OMG, yes to your "all they do is gossip and then gossip about the gossip" critique of Pride and Prejudice. And you touched on this, but when, how and why do Lizzie and Darcy even fall in love? They have about 4-5 *brief* conversations the entire book, at least two of which are hostile and one of which consists mainly of awkward silences. They don't even know each other, let alone love each other. It came off more like Elizabeth being "hmm, so based on what people say he's not THAT bad, he did throw money at Wickham to make him do the right thing, and I sure would love to live in this beautiful house of his, sooo..." Plus Elizabeth is the original Not Like the Other Girls, and I hate how even Darcy's cousin immediately likes her---she's really not that compelling a character! None of them are. The book in general just lacks everything except a few witty lines. Zero plot, no real emotion or spirit, flat characters. I'm so glad someone else agrees! It's not sharp enough to be a satire or romantic enough to be romance.

YES EXACTLY

Elizabeth’s out here like “well this guy isn’t as bad as I originally thought he was. Also he’s hot and rich. So I’m gonna marry him“

and then she’s like “BUT I’M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS WHO JUST MARRY A GUY BECAUSE HE’S HOT AND RICH”

like. No. Eliza I’m so sorry but you’re doing the thing that you’re complaining about other girls doing.

(and. I’m not gonna call her a Mary Sue because technically Jane is more of a Mary Sue than her. But still. When I was reading it she came off as more of a Mary Sue than Jane)