this was funnier in my head


tim: I feel like I’m being watched
elias: ehehehe I have nooo idea what you mean!! that’s so weird who could possibly be watching you?? eye would never 🤭
jonathan sims, though the walls of his office: SUPPLEMENTAL: tim had 12 eggs for breakfast. that’s too many eggs. I don’t think he’s human.
elias: …
tim: …
elias: OH you meant– yeah jonathan’s definitely stalking you. you should probably confront him about that.
“average archivist get 5 assistants killed” factoid is actually a statistical error. Web Emma, who loves messing with people and gets 100 assistants killed, is an outlier adn should not be counted
also she’s not an archivist.
